Shameless: FORBIDDEN, #4

By Z. S. STORM

Zi

 

I've always been good at everything. Soccer. Girls. Grades. I don't even have to try. My dad says I get it from him. That I remind him of the teenage version of himself.

None of it really matters to me though. I value relationships more. My friends. My family. I'd do anything for them. And in their eyes, I can never do wrong.

Except that one autumn.

When I forgot my place and ended up in bed with someone I never should have looked at the wrong way.

But it felt so good.

So good that I didn't care if I got a little carried away. Being respectable started to seem like a chore.

So I decided to find out what it would feel like to be a little...shameless.

~~~

Trigger warning: Infidelity.

*Contains mature themes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Storm Publications
• Release date: Mar 20, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393780601

Z. S. STORM

Z. S. STORM writes mostly love stories which are of the dark and disturbed variety. Follow him on Instagram @z.s.storm

Book preview

Blurb

––––––––

Zi

I've always been good at everything. Soccer. Girls. Grades. I don't even have to try. My dad says I get it from him. That I remind him of the teenage version of himself.

None of it really matters to me though. I value relationships more. My friends. My family. I'd do anything for them. And in their eyes, I can never do wrong.

Except that one autumn.

When I forgot my place and ended up in bed with someone I never should have looked at the wrong way.

But it felt so good.

So good that I didn't care if I got a little carried away. Being respectable started to seem like a chore.

So I decided to find out what it would feel like to be a little...shameless.

~~~

Trigger warning: Infidelity. Dubious consent. SA.

*Contains mature themes meant for 18+ readers only.

Playlist

––––––––

* Maroon 5: She Will Be Loved

*David Archuletta: Crush

*Selena Gomez ft Halsey: Higher or Heaven

*Enrique Iglesias: Be With You

*Zara Larsson: Uncover

*Darren Hayes: Insatiable

*Khalid: Saturday Nights

*Zara Larsson: Wow

*Shawn Mendes: Stitches

*Shawn Mendes: Mercy

*Demi Lovato: Tell Me You Love Me

*Sam Smith: How Do You Sleep?

*Joel Corry and MNEK: Head and Heart   

*Savage Garden: Crash and Burn

*Beyonce: Halo

~~~

YouTube link for full playlist: Z. S. STORM

Author’s Note

This is the first spin-off novel of the FORBIDDEN series but the original characters are part of the storyline. It is advisable to read both the spin-offs back to back in order to keep up with the matching timelines and events.

The setting for this series is Italy (for the most part) therefore scenes regarding age of sexual consent and legal drinking and driving age are in accordance with Italian laws.

(Disclaimer: Amira is a fictional nation and not based on any specific place in the Middle East and all religious practices described in the book are only loosely related to Arab or Islamic culture.)

Connect with me on social media:

Instagram

Other Books by Z. S. STORM

––––––––

FORBIDDEN series books

'Forbidden'             (Book 0.5 - prequel. Jasmine's story.)

'Three's A Crowd'  (Book 1)

'Once A Cheater'     (Book 2)

'Twice Inflamed'     (Book 3)

'Taming Wells'         (Book 3.5 - A Jasper Wells novella)

'Shameless'             (Book 4 - Ziad's story)

'Wicked'                   (Book 5 - Jacob's story)

––––––––

And many more...

Acknowledgements

My readers on Wattpad, I have so many of you to thank for loving my stories and always looking forward to the next chapter. The FORBIDDEN series wouldn’t be what it is today without you guys.

Dedication

To my mum,

Wish you could’ve read this...

Miss you always.

Chapter 1

C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\Microsoft\Windows\Temporary Internet Files\Content.IE5\Q76NEY8D\autumn_leaves_PNG3601[1].png

Ziad

My family is weird. No seriously. I know almost every teenager says that at some point in their lives but my family really is weird.

There's my deceased dad's brother, Armaan, who adopted me when I was four and insists on me calling him 'Abbu' even though he doesn't behave like a father most of the time. He's more like that cool, older dude whom you love to be friends with because he can teach you about girls. Not that I care about that because I didn't mess around with girls...much.

Then there's my aunt, Jasmine, who hates being called 'aunt' but I can't help it because she's way older than me and it feels disrespectful to say her name. Also, I know she definitely won't be cool with the term 'step-mom'. Technically, she isn't really related to me at all because Abbu and her got divorced years ago and they are like one of those couples who stay together, ride or die, but without the promise of a ring or signing on a piece of paper.

Anyway, that's not what's weird about my aunt Jasmine. She has a quirky personality. Like you'd be sitting next to her thinking she isn't watching you while you're doing somebody else's homework but all of a sudden, she'd glance up from her phone, notebook or laptop and give you a look. That 'I-know-all-your-secrets' kind of look. But she won't ever tell on me even though Abbu hates it when I do things like that. He doesn't believe it's truly helping anyone and of course, he's right.

I like Jasmine though. She's fun. In a dark, twisted sort of way. She's past forty, I think, but doesn't look a day older than thirty. Must be all that hot yoga and swimming she loves to do. Mostly late in the night.

And then there's Aaliyah Qureshi. We all call her Aali because she doesn't answer to anything else. She's my adoptive sister and she's the weirdest one out of our lot.

My sister doesn't like to follow rules. It's disturbing to watch sometimes how carelessly she disregards boundaries. I don't mean to judge but it's definitely a little worrying when you're only sixteen but you think it's okay to flirt with your forty year old gardener who is clearly super embarrassed by all of that attention. And I don't mean just normal, harmless flirting. Like she goes in full-on blatant mode with all the dirty words and come-hither looks thrown in.

My ears burned the first time I heard her speaking like that to Piero.

Aali claims to hate Jasmine, says my aunt doesn't have a loving bone in her body, but secretly, I get the feeling she wants to be her. I see jealousy in her eyes sometimes when Jasmine walks into a room or when Abbu gives his long-term lover a lot of attention.

Before she was adopted, my sister lived in a war-torn country. Her parents were dead as well. Even though she had been a toddler when she was first brought here, I sometimes hear her whimpering during the night in her sleep and calling for her parents. It breaks my heart. Sometimes it's me who wakes her up for ice-cream or a late night snack and other times, it's Abbu. But she's always guarded and doesn't get close to people easily.

Even though I had a great respect for my religion and culture, I was forever grateful that Abbu had decided to bring me up here in Ferrata 6, Pavia. I loved this place. Amira, not so much. I couldn't imagine living there at all and was glad my grandparents hadn't been the ones to raise me despite my love and admiration for them. That country was...dull.

But I had to visit, of course, especially my parents' graves every year to pay my respects. Aali went with us once because Abbu said it might be good for her to get to know our relatives. Once was enough for her. The next time Abbu asked, my sister packed a bag and didn't come home for the entire night. It scared the shit out of us. I think that was when she realised she could get away with anything. Because Abbu started to give in to a lot of her demands fearing that he might lose her or something.

I let out a sigh. What she needed was some tough love. But how to do that with a girl who walked around as though she ate nightmares for breakfast?

When things got too much to handle at home, I always went over to Jacob's place. Jacob, my brother from another mother, my best friend.

There was nothing weird about him at all. He was focused, serious and completely secure in his family life. With three parents who doted on him and such well-behaved, trauma-free siblings, who wouldn't be? I know it sounded ungrateful but I wished I had his life sometimes.

I was told that I'd needed a lot of time to adjust to my new life here when I was a kid so even though I was about nine months older than Jacob, I'd started to attend school in the same grade as him. We'd been basically inseparable since then and had been recruited by the local under 19 soccer team, Ferrata F.C, last year. I played the midfielder position while Jacob was the goalie.

It was autumn in Italy. We had a one-week break from school and since we had just won a match last week and practice for the weekend was cancelled, I made my way over to Jacob's place with the new Witcher game Abbu had bought me as a reward for the victory. I intended to spend the entire day gaming with my best friend and his siblings like most normal eighteen year olds.

But what I hadn't expected was for that same day to become the day a lot of things started to change that season. Including how I saw myself as a person.

~~~

Skye

I let out a painful hiss when the nail I was hammering into a wooden panel refused to cooperate, bent sideways and then flew out of its position, causing me to miss my mark by a few centimeters and sort of hitting my thumb in the process.

Ow! Dropping the hammer, I clutched my finger and gritted my teeth as a sore throbbing began in my flesh.

Mrs. Sawyer, oh my god, are you okay?

The voice was deep and familiar. I opened my eyes to find Zi regarding me with concern. His brow furrowed as he deduced what had happened and then he quickly moved to the fridge before retrieving an ice pack.

Here. Use this.

Wincing slightly, I did as he asked and placed the pack on my finger. Ziad picked up the discarded hammer and turned to the wall while I watched silently as he positioned another nail at the spot I had chosen and hammered it in expertly. Then he picked up the painting Izzy had made, smiling at it a little before turning to me with a questioning look. After I nodded, he leaned forward to hang the artwork on the nail by a hook I had attached to the back of the frame. I couldn't help but breathe out a sigh of relief once the task was done.

Zi gave me a polite smile and said, Please, next time if you need any help with these things, just ask.

I thanked him and he left, probably headed for the game room where his friends were. Removing the ice pack, I peered at my finger, realised it wasn't aching anymore and walked over to study the painting. Izzy. I smiled proudly as I gazed at what my daughter, my youngest, had created on canvas, the only other person amongst my family or friends who had any interest in painting. And she was getting quite good at it. In this piece, she had painted our house, the view from the front gates with the sun rising in the distance. It was gorgeous.

I jumped slightly when someone appeared next to me all of a sudden. It was Zi again. He grinned at me and said, Sorry, I forgot my game disc.

The disc was on my left and he was on my right so he had to reach across in front of me to grab it from the counter.

I should have moved away. Given him space to retrieve the game or maybe even picked it up myself but I simply stood there and as he drew back after getting the disc, his gaze locked with mine and held.

I was staring at him. I didn't think I had ever stood this close to him before. Especially not since he had grown up into a teenager. He had only just celebrated his eighteenth birthday a few months back and I hadn't even given him a hug. Just a smile and a present that Cole and I had picked out for him.

Zi was frowning at me as though he was trying to figure something out. Mrs. Sawyer, he whispered, his lips curving slightly. Is everything all right?

His words made me inhale sharply and step away from him in horror. What was I doing, standing there staring at a teenage boy like that? And so close, I'd felt his breath on my cheek.

Yes. I'm sorry. I was just...lost in thought, I explained with a nervous laugh.

He nodded again, in his usual polite manner and turned to walk out of the kitchen. I watched him leave with a hand over my heart, feeling a little uneasy but before he disappeared from my line of sight, he glanced over his shoulder and smiled at me.

It was an innocent smile. Just a friendly one like you would give to your friend's mom or dad when you ran into them.

So then why did it feel like he kind of knew the thoughts that were running through my head in that moment?

~~~

Zi

Jacob was in the game room scrolling through his phone accompanied by Izzy and Ben. Ben was working on some school project for the holidays while Izzy was watching a movie. They both gave me murmured greetings but Jacob remained silent.

Hey, what's up? I said to him as I settled beside him on the couch. Look what I got.

He barely glanced at the game I had brought for us to play. Jacob was really into fantasy and adventure when it came to anything from books and movies to games so I had figured he would be more excited.

Jacob?

He exhaled loudly and threw down his phone. Man, I miss my dad, he stated with a frown.

I gave him a slight grin. Aww. Nobody to tuck you in at night? I teased.

Shut up, he grumbled, scowling at the movie playing on the huge TV screen in front.

Jacob's father was away in Australia for three months for work. I really admired that guy. He had the best life, honestly, travelling the world all year round, making lots of money and getting even more famous. His photography was featured in so many top-notch magazines, I bet he wasn't even counting anymore.

Come on, let's play, man. I thumped my friend on the shoulder to get him out of his funk. "It's the latest Witcher game. You love him."

His response was to roll his eyes when I used the word 'love'. Chuckling, I tossed him the disc and he reluctantly got up to tell Izzy to stop the movie. An argument would ensue but Izzy would eventually cave because she loved watching us play and enjoyed it even more when I let her join us sometimes.

Jacob, I thought I told you to help Ben with his project, Mrs. Sawyer's voice said from behind us.

My best friend glanced over his shoulder at his mom and then looked at Ben who wasn't even paying attention to the conversation.

He doesn't seem to need my help, Jacob said dryly.

You know he won't ask for it. Just guide him a little. Make sure he does a good job.

My friend blew out a breath. "Why can't you help him?" he muttered sourly.

I didn't like this. I didn't like the tension I could feel in the air so I turned around and said, I can help him.

Mrs. Sawyer gave me a kind look and then frowned at her eldest son. If your dad was here, you wouldn't be speaking to me this way, she pointed out firmly. Help Ben with the project, Jacob. I'm going to be busy with some conference calls but when I come back, I want to see you doing what you're supposed to do.

Okay, fine, Mom. I'll help him, Jacob replied in an impatient tone.

After she left the room, I looked at my best friend worriedly. Dude. What's with the attitude? I asked. She's busy. It wouldn't hurt to help Ben. We can play the game later. I had never heard him speaking to any of his parents that way before. Something was up. What's going on with you? I prompted in a puzzled tone.

He shrugged. She's so controlling. I hate it, he replied simply and turned back to the TV.

Whoa. Wells/Sawyer family drama. This was new.

Saying nothing, I got up and walked over to Ben to see how I could assist him, giving my friend some much needed space to cool off.

****

Chapter 2

C:\Users\User\AppData\Local\Microsoft\Windows\Temporary Internet Files\Content.IE5\Q76NEY8D\autumn_leaves_PNG3601[1].png

Skye

I was painting my nails on the bed when Cole finally got home that evening. After a long work day, he'd had a team-bonding activity followed by dinner with some colleagues and it was now nine p.m.

My husband entered the room, dropped his briefcase, shed his jacket, loosened his tie and then fell into bed with a long sigh. The bottle of nail polish went flying over the sheets. I gave him a blank look and he grinned in a boyish way and said, Oops.

Shaking my head, I got up to clean the mess. I just washed the damn sheets today, I told him. He crossed his ankles, locked his arms behind his head and regarded me with amusement.

How was your day, honey? he asked me.

Hopeless, I answered, grabbing some tissues to blot out the stains.

Cole sat up at once. Why, what happened? Taking the tissues from me, he began to clean up the mess himself. Kids giving you trouble?

I sat on the edge of the bed. "Not kids. Kid. You'd think being the eldest, he would have more sense. You wouldn't believe the way he spoke to me today, Cole."

Coming closer to me, Cole knelt behind me and rubbed my shoulders. He's just upset.

So? Being upset doesn't mean he gets to disrespect me like that. If Jasper was here-

If Jasper was here, we wouldn't be having this conversation, Cole said gently. "The only reason Jacob's acting this way is because Jasper isn't here."

I rubbed my temples then as Cole added, I'll talk to him tomorrow. Okay?

Letting out a sigh, I nodded and Cole moved away after giving me a kiss on the cheek. When I turned back, he was retrieving his laptop from the bedside table and powering it up.

I hate this time difference thing, he said almost to himself. I haven't spoken to him all week. Either he's busy or sleeping or I am.

I rolled my eyes and went into the bathroom to throw the tissues in the trash.

Jasper and I had had a huge argument before he left for Australia a week ago. He had wanted to take Jacob with him and I had put my foot down because my son needed to be in school. I couldn't just allow him to take off halfway across the world for three whole months. Jasper could be so unreasonable sometimes. I'd won the argument because Cole had placated Jasper enough to make him let go of the crazy idea.

But of course, I was the bad guy now. The no-fun mom. I understood that Australia would have been an exciting experience but there would be time for that in the future. Jacob was only seventeen. And Jasper could be so lenient with him at times, exposing him to things I didn't want my teenage son to be exposed to. Three months in Australia under Jasper's guardianship...I hated to imagine the outcome. My son, who never missed a single day of soccer training, had been willing to hold off playing for an entire season just to be with his dad but because I'd refused to let it happen, both father and son were mad at me now.

The surprising thing was that Jasper and I hadn't seriously argued in years. Things had been quite good, in fact. He was still pretty fickle with his ways but we somehow made it work because most of the time, my darling husband, the peace-maker, stepped in and saved the day.

But this time, I didn't want to make peace with that asshole. He had no idea of the damage his impulsive decisions had caused because he was away and I was the one left to deal with Jacob's resentment. Because his father had thought it would be a good idea to promise his son that trip without even consulting me first.

From the bathroom, I could hear Cole speaking to him via Skype call.

I miss you too, baby, he was saying. That bed looks way too cosy. He let out a laugh when Jasper said something naughty.

I banged the bathroom door shut and decided to take a shower. My relationship with Jasper was like an antagonistic mismatch but we managed to get along most of the time. However, that was partially due to my romanticism and his long absences from home. The moment those big, hard decisions of life came up, we began to clash and required a mediator.

Cole and Jasper though, they were like well-oiled parts of a machine. No friction whatsoever. And I'd give my husband credit for that. He knew how to make the best out of a bad situation. He could handle his boyfriend just fine.

They were still talking when I emerged from the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror and towelled myself dry while examining my body critically. It was not at all the same as it had been twenty years ago. I didn't look old expect for a few wrinkles that popped up every now and then and some extra flesh around my waist but I did feel old.

Keeping three teenage kids in line will do that to you. Sometimes when I heard myself scolding them, I inwardly cringed at how uncool I sounded. As if that was all my life and personality was about. Being a mom. I loved them but it was also really frustrating.

By the time I finished brushing my hair and putting on my sleep shorts and camisole, Cole was done with the call and was relaxing against the pillows with his phone. I climbed into bed and snuggled with him, putting my head on his chest.

Go shower, I said to him as I watched him scroll through his phone.

Mm. In a minute, he replied absently.

He was going through Jasper's Instagram profile and looking at the videos and pictures he had posted today.

Aww. Did you see this? That looks so amazing, Cole breathed out. He went there yesterday.

Jasper was frolicking in the ocean near the Gold Coast with dolphins, wearing a diving suit. He had matured so well. One of those men who only seemed to get sexier with age in a totally dignified sort of way. I wondered who else he was frolicking with in Australia along with those dolphins when he wasn't busy with his photography.

I mean, three whole months. I wasn't going to fool myself into believing he was going to remain celibate the entire time. Not that it mattered anymore. Cole didn't care and I wasn't in any kind of serious relationship with Jasper. All these years and we still hadn't given what we had a label. Neither of us brought it up. We hooked up occasionally and spent time together but kept it all casual because I still didn't want Jacob to get the wrong idea. As far as my son was aware, his father and I were not intimately involved and that was for the best.

I'd never been able to rebuild my faith in Jasper. Didn't think I'd ever be able to.

I envy him his freedom sometimes, I grumbled. He does whatever he wants, goes wherever he wants and doesn't give a damn about consequences. Also, the only person he feels responsible for is Jacob. Doesn't he realise that I need to look after all three of my kids the same way? Why does he have to make it so hard for me?

Cole hugged me tight with one arm while still looking at the pictures. Come on, Skye. Don't be mad at him, he said softly. I mean, look at him, he's so happy. He was asking about you.

With an exhale, I disentangled myself from Cole's embrace. I envy you too. Your mantra is life is so simple. 'If Jasper's happy then I'm happy'. You'd let him get away with murder.

Cole was regarding me with a speculative expression. What's with the snarkiness? he asked me. And all this envy bullshit. We're perfect just the way we are. As soon as I'm done with my latest project, we can all go to Australia.

My husband and I exchanged a long look and slowly, I brought up my hand to caress his jaw. You still think I'm sexy right?

My question caught him off-guard. He raised his eyebrows in surprise and let out a laugh. Whoa. What's going on with you, Skye? You never talk like this. Don't tell me you're having some sort of mid-life crisis? he teased.

I narrowed my eyes at him because his words sort of stung. I'm forty-one. That's hardly old, I snapped at him.

Cole laughed some more and for some reason, I found it irritating. Like he was making fun of me.

Baby, I think you're very sexy and so, so beautiful, he finally said, his eyes twinkling at me. I love you. And honestly, forty is like the new twenty these days. Numbers hardly matter. It's how you feel inside that counts.

Well, I felt old. And I didn't feel very sexy these days either. But I didn't tell him that. He was a man. I didn't think he would understand a woman's insecurities about ageing.

Tell you what? Cole said smartly. I'm going to go for my shower and when I get back, I will spend the rest of the night showing you exactly how sexy I think you are. He shot me one of his wicked smiles.

I couldn't help but smile back at him a little because he was charming when he went into flirt mode.

Fine, I said quietly. Let me just check on the kids. I'll be right back.

When I went downstairs, I heard sounds coming from the game room so I walked into it without thinking twice about my attire. My two sons weren't there but my daughter was. She was giggling and letting out shrieks while playing some video game with Ziad.

The room was dark except for the light coming from the TV screen and it was just the two of them alone on the couch.

Isabelle, I snapped loudly and she twisted around to look at me, pausing in her laughter.

Hey, Mom, she said, her eyes shining with delight or excitement, I wasn't sure. What's up?

I folded my arms and looked at them both seriously. You should be in bed, I said to her. Ziad had paused the game and was now watching me as well.

Izzy let out a groan. It's only nine. Are you kidding me?

Go upstairs, I told her firmly and she let out a sigh, said goodnight to Zi and stalked off.

You shouldn't encourage her, I addressed Ziad after my daughter had left the room.

He gave me an apologetic smile. I'm really sorry, he said, getting up from the couch. We lost track of time.

My eyes narrowed as I looked him up and down. Looked at him the way a fourteen year old girl might. He was an attractive boy. I had heard my daughter telling her friends about her brother's hot best friend. But I hadn't thought much about it then. This was actually the first time I had come across them in such a situation.

Is something going on with you two? I asked in a no-nonsense tone.

Ziad was giving me a confused look. We stared at each other for a while and then his gaze shifted towards the couch and then behind me before coming back to rest on me.