Chaotic Beauty

By Tara Sosa

“I messed up so much in the past. At least I knew it, and owned it. Now it was time for me to fix it ...”
Connor Brennan knew from the moment he first met Riley Sullivan that he wanted her and that he would have her. It wasn’t the first moment he laid eyes on her that he knew. It was the first time she spoke and put him in his place. He didn’t believe in one woman, love always, or together forever until the moment he met her and she changed everything. He thought that she was the one. He thought he was falling for her and that they were happy. But then the unexpected happened and she left him. He tried to move on from her. He tried to forget her. He went back to his wicked ways and old habits. He fooled himself into believing she was almost out of his system, and his life. Then she came back and all bets were off. He knew he wanted her again right from the moment she walked through the door. He knew he would stop at nothing to have her back in his life, and in his bed. He knew it was only a matter of time before she was his for good. But he was wrong. Because she was different. Her warm summer blue eyes were now as cold as steel. Her attitude that once screamed confident, carefree, and loving, was now shutdown, evasive, and distant. Where there was once laughter, fun, love, and the future, now there’s nothing but hurt, pain, misunderstandings, and destruction. He wanted to fix them more than anything, but all she brought back with her was lies, another man, and chaos.
Riley Sullivan believed in the one, true love, and happily-ever-after, she just didn’t think she’d ever find it. She definitely didn’t think she’d find it in the cocky, overbearing, hotheaded, obnoxious, annoyingly handsome, driven, and intelligent thorn in her brother’s side. But she did. She thought Connor Brennan was the one. She thought she met her match. She thought she had found her equal. She thought that they had the promise of a future together. She thought they might be forever. Without a doubt she knew that she was falling hard and falling fast. Then the unexpected happened, and they both said and did things that she couldn’t get past and that sent her running. But that wasn’t the end of it. Because she is still paying for what she did. In the worst possible ways.
What sent her running is nothing compared to what brings her back...
And when she comes back through the door and into Connor’s life again, she’s not alone, and she’s not prepared.
Riley’s not the same girl she was when she left. Everyone can see it. Everyone wants to know what’s wrong with her ... but she can’t tell. The only person she wants to lean on is the very last person she wants to know her secrets. The person she wants more than anything is the person she pushes away the most. The one she realizes she loves more than anything is also the one she hurts over and over again.
What happens when she pushes him too far and hurts him too much?
Connor knows that he wants Riley more than anything. But she’s leaning on someone else. She trusts someone else. She wants someone else. What’s he supposed to do when she only tells him lies? When she hides and evades? When she runs to another? When she changes even more?
Cut his losses? Shatter his own heart? Lose his soul? Or jump into the chaos and accept everything that’s changed ... even if by doing so he shatters and loses himself and her once and for all?
Will she finally trust him enough to tell him everything, even though by doing so she may lose him forever? Will she continue to protect him from the threats, the violence, the pain and destruction? Or will she bring him into the chaos and danger with her? And if she does – will he fight with her, for her, for them? Will they realize in enough time that together they just might escape the chaos and survive?
Or will everything be realized too late, and everything they love and value the most – including their lives – be destroyed

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tara Sosa
• Release date: Sep 12, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370016358

Tara Sosa

Tara Sosa grew up in New Jersey, went to a few of its colleges and earned her degree with honors, as well as her teaching credentials, along the way. Though she is technically a High School English teacher, she finds it much more enjoyable to read and write all day without restrictions, which is why she is literally without a classroom and students.From a very early age she knew she was in love with books and always would be, and though she tries to get everyone to love them too, she is constantly disappointed to find out that not everyone does. She absolutely loves her family, including her husband and two babies – of the four-legged variety. One day soon she hopes to add a few of the two-legged kind to her total, where she hopes at least one of them has the good sense to love reading and writing as much as she does.Right now she is currently living her dream as a writer.

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

When I started this series I had a certain vision in my mind for my characters. They are all vastly different in what makes them who they are, but they all have one thing in common: they are all struggling with the same internal issues. Who am I? Who do I want to be? What do I want to be? Where am I going in life now, and where do I want to be – who do I want to be – as a person in the future? What is real love? Stability? Loyalty? Friendship? Trust? Family? What does everything mean? How far will I go to get everything that I want? Do I fight for it? Do I open myself up to the potential hurts and heartbreaks and accept what comes in order to get who and what I want? Do I deal with all the unexpected and the chaotic to get what I want – what I need? Do I sit silently and just accept? Do I change? And if I do change, am I changing for myself, or am I changing for something or someone else? Can I be better? Be stronger? Be less than if I have to? What do I do?

Some of my characters have figured themselves out by now. Some of them have most of the things in their lives figured out. Some think they do. And some don’t. Some have absolutely no clue who they want to be, or what they want out of life. Some just break my heart because they want to have everything, and they deserve to have everything, but they don’t know how to get it, and some of them don’t feel like they deserve it. It’s just as difficult to write these characters as it is easy to have fun with them.

When I wrote the first book in this series, Unexpected Beauty, I introduced you to the character of Connor Brennan. Most of you that I have heard from have had issues with Connor. I loved him, and absolutely love him still, while some hated him, were frustrated by him, annoyed, disgusted. And that’s okay. It’s actually more than okay. Because I was like that at times too. But I knew what he would become. I knew his story. I told all of you to just give him a chance. I told all of you to trust me – he’s not as bad as he seems, he just needed to figure some things out. I told you that you would love Connor too … eventually. And I am really hoping that I am right and that you do by the end of this story!

Connor is definitely cocky, and someone who thinks he knows best. He is loyal to his family and friends, he’s used to always getting what he wants, he’s intelligent and outspoken, he has a mouth that will make some people cringe, others smirk, or roll their eyes, or fall hard (seriously, Connor’s mouth should come with a warning, so be prepared). He has an attitude about him and a bit of a jealous streak that gets him into trouble a lot of times – but he’s Connor. He is what he is. And he owns it.

In this book we see the Connor that I introduced you to before, but now we also see the smooth Connor, the caring Connor, the loving Connor – the Connor that I, as the author, knew was mixed in with all of the bad … even though I don’t for one second think anything about Connor is bad. Everything that mixes up to be Connor for me, is so, so, good! I hope you enjoy him. Actually, I hope you end up loving him!

Dedication

For the people who need someone to look a little deeper than the surface. And for the people who take the time to look and dig deeper.

And for my mom and husband … always.

Prologue

"Why are you doing this to me?" I whispered, looking down at the floor. After everything, I couldn’t believe that this was happening. I didn’t know how to make any of it stop.

"You? Why am I doing this to you? What about what you did to me?"

I looked up and across from me. What I saw in his eyes made my heart stop.

Connor … Please.

You ruined my fucking life. I wish I never met you.

Please. Don’t.

I continued to stare ahead, my heart beating faster and faster. I could tell by the look in his eyes what was coming next. I knew what was going to happen. I just didn’t know if either of us would survive it. I looked deep into his eyes and I knew he was pissed, enraged, and murderous.

He was deadly in this moment.

It was terrifying.

I knew our time was up.

He was deciding for the both of us.

This was the end.

Of everything.

I knew I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t stay silent. I had to fight for us. I couldn’t sit by and let us be destroyed. Again.

I saw everything in his eyes and I just knew …

Connor, please don’t! I yelled.

But it was too late.

I was too late.

He didn’t care that I screamed at him to stop. To not do it.

He didn’t listen.

He couldn’t have understood what he was doing to the both of us. He couldn’t have.

Right?

He couldn’t have known what he was doing.

. . .

. . .

He killed me.

The soul-shattering pain I felt in that moment destroyed me. The sound of the bang that changed my world reverberated off the walls and penetrated through my entire being. I saw the blood, I felt the destruction, I knew the agony that his one action was going to cause everyone.

How could he do this to me? To us? To our families?

I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t think.

I couldn’t move.

All I could do was feel.

And all I felt was broken.

I didn’t feel like I was whole. Like I was all together. Like I was human.

I felt like I was glass.

Fragile glass that had been dropped, that had splintered, that had cracked into a million tiny shards and could never be put back together again.

I was broken.

In pieces.

Shattered.

Destroyed.

Lifeless.

. . .

. . .

. . .

And then entered the chaos.

Connor

What the fuck is she doing here? And with him? She’s not even supposed to be in Baltimore. She’s supposed to be hours away finishing up her last year of college. She should definitely not be here with him. Her brother would fucking flip if he saw them two together.

Why the hell was she here … and with him?

Maybe I should text her brother and let him know. Or better yet, maybe I should take a picture of them two together and send it. He’d fucking love that.

Seriously though? What the fuck!

I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text. I wasn’t trying to be a girl and gossip, or be a goddamn narc, but really?

Really?

Me: Dude your sister just showed up at the shop, and Aiden’s with her. What the hell am I seeing right now? Isn’t she supposed to be at school, and nowhere near here? Or him? Why the hell is she here with him?

I stared at my phone expecting it to ring right back, like I’m some fucking teenage girl who texted her best friend a juicy story about their goddamn crush.

Jesus. What the hell is wrong with me?

Something pretty fucking big because I started rapidly typing on my phone again when he didn’t answer me right back. Did this guy not care that his sister is with Aiden? I know Aiden helped Liam out of a jam when Liam walked in on my sister being attacked and he practically killed the guy who was hurting her a few months ago – as he fucking should have – but still. What the hell was he doing that he didn’t jump all over this shit?

Me: What the hell are you doing?

I heard the beeps. Finally.

Liam: Your sister.

Holy Motherfuck! He better have been joking. They didn’t have sex. Ever.

Didn’t he know that there are just some things you never talk about? Like having sex with someone’s sister, when the person you are talking to is their brother?

Holy Christ.

I felt my phone vibrate in my hand, and all I could think was the asshole better be telling me that he was kidding.

As I looked at my phone I realized it was my sister and not her boyfriend.

Samantha: Liam told me what happened, and what he just said. What he said … that was NOT happening.

That better not be happening!

I took a deep breath and rubbed the back of my neck.

Shit, who am I kidding?

I’d like to say that Liam’s seriously corrupted my sweet, innocent, baby sister, and that he’s not a good guy, and that he’s definitely not good for her … but I know it’s not like that. They love each other, they’re happy together – and holy shit this is not a Hallmark moment. They are probably at their home laughing at this whole situation. And it’s really not that fucking funny.

I probably would’ve thought it was funny if I said it about his sister, but this? Too fucking far.

Shit.

I should’ve expected that shit from him. A lot has changed in the past few months for all of us, especially with me and Liam.

Six months ago my sister and I didn’t even know who Liam was. Now my sister was in love with him, he was in love with her, they were living together, and all that other shit. When I saw him come into The Brew that first day and saw Sam’s reaction to him, and his to her – not only that day, but the few times after – I knew that something was going to happen between them. I just wasn’t sure that whatever it was would be something good.

I may have acted like a total prick when it came to the two of them in the beginning – maybe just a little – but everything worked out for them in the end. I knew that not everything for them was rainbows and roses. One thing in particular had turned their world upside down.

It turned my fucking world upside down too.

I thought I was starting to fall for someone.

I actually thought there might be a one after all, like my sister claims.

What a fucking joke.

A few careless words.

A few heated statements.

That’s all it took for her to hit the road, and leave everything we had built behind.

I’m happy that she never knew how I felt. The only person who really knew how I felt was my sister. And there was no way she told her boyfriend, because if she did, I would never hear the end of it. He would be all over my back the same way I was with him. It was his sister after all.

Talk about a fucking nightmare.

Hello Connor, her voice whipped out coolly. I looked up from my cell phone to see that she and Aiden had made their way over to the counter. Fucking perfect. Instead of being a gossiping bitch and texting Liam, I should’ve gone into the back and did some inventory and let someone else handle this shit.

Wait. What?

Did I seriously just say that I should’ve ducked and covered? That I should’ve run away like some scared little girl?

What is this fucking woman doing to me?

The tone of her voice still rang in my head. Her voice didn’t match her appearance. For a voice so cold, she sure did look all warm and soft, and absolutely mouthwatering. I had firsthand knowledge that she was all warm and soft, and I knew she was absolutely breathtaking both inside and out. Her long dark hair was silky and soft, and she used to love when I’d run my fingers through it. Her body was a fucking eleven, and the confidence that rolled off of her in waves is enough to bring any man to his goddamn knees.

It’s what brought me to mine.

Her baby blues were the killer though. Those pale eyes of hers that make me think of hazy, hot, summer days are unbelievably expressive and captivating, but looking at them now they are like shards of ice. They are dull, spectacularly hard, and something else I can’t quite figure out. They aren’t the eyes I remember. They aren’t Riley’s perfect sea-inspired eyes.

It’s not right.

What’s also not right is the way she’s speaking and acting.

Why the hell is she the one who gets to act cold and distant?

Fuck that. Time to turn this shit around. I got this.

Hey, Riley, I said to her, all polite and shit. Then I turned my head a bit to her left and said, Aiden. I nodded my head up and down as a way of greeting.

No need to let her know that her being here with him was pissing me the fuck off. No need at all.

My simple un-dickish greeting made me proud of myself. It was simple and clear enough that if you read between the lines, it meant ‘hurry up and order your shit and get the hell out of my store,’ without me actually saying it and being a complete prick.

I was definitely proud of myself.

Not working at the Firehouse today? Riley asked with her unique voice that I hadn’t heard in months. A voice that I had fantasized about since the first moment I heard her speak. A voice that was currently still cold and icy, and not at all like her.

Apparently she didn’t care to read between the lines.

There was only so much I could take. I tried to rein it in, I tried to play it cool – but fuck that.

No why? Did you plan on avoiding me some more? Sorry to disappoint you, babe. I’m here today.

Since I was looking at her closely I saw her eyes switch from cold steel to a wicked blue flame, all in the span of seconds. She definitely didn’t like that I suggested she was avoiding me, and she really didn’t like that I called her ‘babe.’ She used to like it.

She used to fucking love it.

She didn’t say anything though. She just stared at me. I actually tried my best, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I smirked at her. I knew I was right. She was avoiding me, and had been for months. We both knew it. This awkward shit was all her fault, not mine.

After a few seconds I saw the blush creep into her cheeks. I knew it. She was affected.

Probably just as much as I was.

Her eyes gave her away, as did her blush, and the tightening of her mouth.

She might have avoided me, tried to pretend just now with me, but she definitely wasn’t done with me.

You should know better than to play this game with me sweetheart. I made up the rules for this one.

But if you want to play, we’ll play.

Hey man, can I get a large black coffee? Aiden interrupted my thoughts.

I took my eyes off Riley to look at him.

He and I had a past. A past I thought we had buried. But looking at him now, and knowing he was with Riley … It stirred up some old shit for me.

He looked different than the punk teenager I beat the shit out of years ago after a misunderstanding that was mostly my fault, or the swaggering jerkoff who sauntered into Molly’s and nearly wrecked Sam’s relationship with Liam a few months ago after being gone for years. He no longer had his piercings in his ears, his eyebrow, or his stupid fucking lip. He no longer had his tattoos showing for the whole world to see. Apparently Aiden was all business today, and that made me even more pissed off to see him with Riley, because this Aiden looked perfect for her. He looked exactly her type. He looked like someone who belonged with her.

A large black coffee, Aiden said again louder this time, as if I didn’t hear him when I made no attempt to move and get him his drink.

Screw him.

Did he seriously just speak again? Did he not see that there was something going on here between me and Riley? Did he not hear what I just said to her? He needed to disappear.

Now.

Yeah, me too. I’d like a small coffee though, Riley practically whispered, causing me to look back over to her.

I would have taken some satisfaction in the way her voice sounded now, all small and not as confident as it normally is, and definitely not cold like before, but how could I feel satisfied when Aiden’s here with her? Just when I thought him and me patched things up for that one night all those years ago, he had to do something that planted him firmly back on my shit list. I didn’t even care why he was here anymore. He just was.

And that royally pissed me off.

I wish that my sister didn’t have school and that she was here today. She should be here dealing with this shit. She could ask them why the fuck they were together. I didn’t even know that they knew each other. I saw them together in the same room once, and they never said a word to one another.

So when the fuck did all of this happen?

Goddamn it.

This shit going on with me needed to stop. This shit wasn’t me.

I continued to stare at them, not saying a word.

What the hell was I doing? I must look like a complete idiot.

Well you know what? I feel like one right about now.

And that pissed me off more than anything else so far.

But then it hit me.

I don’t know where the thought came from, but I couldn’t help smirking again.

It was just too perfect.

I needed the ball back in my goddamn court, and now I knew just how to do it.

Hey Aiden … I said, making sure I added a good amount of questioning in just those two little words.

He looked at me wearily.

Yeah. You should be worried.

Yeah? he finally asked.

You have a sister right?

God, I was such an asshole.

This was the same road I traveled with Liam all those months ago when I forced him, Sam, Riley, and me into a group date. I knew he wanted to date my sister, but that wasn’t fucking happening until I figured him out.

Or so I thought.

Whatever.

I can’t get into that shit now.

I had bigger issues to deal with.

Like Aiden and Riley.

Together.

Aiden just stared at me, and then glanced at Riley. I glanced at Riley too. From the way her eyes were shooting blue flames my way, and from the way her face seemed unnaturally pale all of a sudden, I knew that she knew what I was doing.

Yes, I do. Lizzy.

Aiden told me what I already knew. I’ve talked to her a few times actually. Samantha introduced us when Elizabeth came in by herself without him. She was a sweet girl and an absolute knockout, but to me, she was nothing more than a sweet, gorgeous, girl. He didn’t have to know any of that though. Neither did Riley. She sure as shit didn’t need to know anything.

Lizzy, huh? How old is she? I asked, faking complete ignorance.

Stop it Connor, Riley said quietly. Just stop it.

Aiden looked towards her, finally clueing into the friction between us. I’m surprised he couldn’t feel the tension and figure all this out before now.

He was supposed to be a detective?

Seriously man, what’s the deal? Aiden asked me, looking between me and Riley again.

Riley spoke up and saved me from having to answer Aiden, which should’ve been a good thing because I really didn’t have an answer for him – I had no clue what the fuck I was doing – but it wasn’t a good thing. It was definitely not a good thing.

You know what? Just forget it. We’ll go somewhere else, Riley said, before she grabbed Aiden’s hand and started walking with him towards the door.

I stood there frozen staring at them.

She grabbed ahold of his hand.

They were fucking holding hands.

He was fucking touching her.

And they were leaving.

Together.

What just happened? What did I just see?

What the fuck just happened!

I didn’t give a shit what it made me look like, I grabbed up my phone and started dialing Liam’s number.

Hell with that whole texting shit.

I needed to fucking talk to him.

Now.

Riley

I hate him. I absolutely hate him. I hate every goddamn thing about him. I hate his smug smirk, and his cocky smile. I hate his annoyingly handsome face and the liquid heat that I always see in his eyes when he looks at me. I hate his goddamn knowingness, his arrogance, his carefree attitude, all his stupid unbelievable questions and dumbass ideas, and most especially I absolutely hate his rock-hard body that is covered in beautiful tattoos. I definitely hate that. I hate him. All of him. Every little piece that makes up Connor Brennan I completely and utterly hate.

No you don’t.

You’re a liar.

You want him.

You love everything about him, even when everything you love pisses you off.

You. Love. Him.

That last part was definitely not true, but I was almost there once. How the hell did everything go sideways?

His sister got attacked by some psycho and he blamed your brother that’s how. He said awful, hurtful things, and you couldn’t forgive him even though you should have. You should have forgiven him, especially since Liam did, and you shouldn’t have ruined everything.

Stop it!

The voice inside of my head was pissing me off.

Probably because it was right.

It seemed to always be right when it came to Connor. I knew I messed up by not forgiving Connor and walking away and leaving him after everything he had said. I knew he was just blowing off steam, and that he was angry, hurt, and worried. His sister was in the hospital for Christ’s sake. She was beaten and nearly raped, and she had also lost a good chunk of her memories. It was reasonable that Connor was upset and angry, but it wasn’t my brother’s fault even if Liam had been late picking Samantha up. It was the sick bastard’s fault who hurt her.

We all knew it. We all moved past it for the most part.

Well some of us had.

I was still paying for my reactions to that night.

I couldn’t think about that right now though. Or him. I actually had more important things going on in my life than going over whether or not I was currently avoiding Connor, or rehashing what happened on that one night that changed everything.

I couldn’t deal with all of that right now, or try and make it right.

With the way Connor acted today, I’m not sure I even wanted to.

Liar.

Riley, Aiden said my name while tugging on my hand.

Oh, crap.

I let go of his hand quickly, and snatched my own hand back.

This was the more important part.

I needed to take care of this first.

I’m sorry Aiden, I said, uttering my first words to him since leaving The Brew. I didn’t mean to drag you out of there like that, but I knew where that conversation was going, and where it was going was nowhere good. And it also wasn’t about you or your sister. It was about me. You, and most especially your sister, shouldn’t be dragged into the pissing match between me and Connor.

He started to smile. Pissing match? he asked in such a way, like I completely caught him off guard with what I had said. Christ. I probably had.

I could feel my cheeks start to warm up because of my embarrassment over what I had just said. Normally the language I used wouldn’t have bothered me in the least, but I was bothered by it with Aiden.

Not Aiden, Samantha’s best-friend once upon a time.

Not Aiden, the man who helped my brother Liam out when Liam nearly killed Samantha’s attacker a few months ago.

Not Aiden, who had a history with almost everyone in my life who is important to me.

Not that Aiden.

I’m with Aiden, the detective.

Aiden, the man I don’t really know, but who I needed to trust.

Aiden … the man who I needed help from.

So, because of this, I am completely embarrassed about what I’ve said, and how I’ve been acting, about what he witnessed between me and Connor.

About what he must think of me.

I felt myself warm up even more, heard my ears start to ring, felt my fingers start to tingle, but I was snapped out of my inner meltdown when I heard and saw Aiden start to laugh. His deep, throaty laugh – while at my expense – started to put me at ease.

At least he was laughing and not shaking his head and turning around, leaving me because of his annoyance and disgust over everything that’s happened in the last ten minutes.

Jesus Christ.

Okay then, was what he managed to wheeze out in response.

Just great.

Wonderful first impression so far.

I’m sure he’s just eager to help me out now.

Look, do you want to go somewhere else so we can talk? I asked him with a strong voice that I had no idea how I was able to pull off.

Please, please, still help me.

Sure, he said, nodding his head once. I could tell from the tone of his voice we were both trying to be professional now. He must have sensed my own change in attitude from the tone of my voice, and my now stiff posture.

As we continued walking down the street, I started to think about this whole situation for the hundredth time. Was I making the right decision? Did I know what I was doing? Can I trust him? Will everything be okay?

I know Aiden must be curious as to why I called him. He didn’t even know me before today, though he did see me once. I learned about Aiden a few months ago from Connor and Sam after Aiden showed back up in town completely blindsiding everyone. Then I learned even more about Aiden from Liam after Sam’s attack. I knew that Aiden was a detective with the Baltimore Police Department, and when I knew without a doubt I had a problem, I knew he was the only solution for me.

I hope he is the solution for me.

I knew I couldn’t tell Liam about my problem, because after what happened to Samantha I knew he would freak the hell out. I couldn’t tell Sam, because I am almost positive she would tell my brother. I couldn’t tell my dad because even though things are better between all of us now, I don’t know how he would handle it, and there was also the possibility that he would tell my brother too. I also couldn’t tell any of my friends because I didn’t really have any friends anymore besides Samantha, and through her, Allie. My high-school friends have moved on with their lives like I have, and my college friends deserted and betrayed me before I moved back home.

The only person left in my life who I might’ve considered telling was Connor, and I couldn’t tell him because we aren’t exactly on speaking terms, and telling him would be complicated and more than messy. I didn’t know who else to turn to … so here we are now.

I still can’t believe how I got us here though.

What a complete disaster.

I got the phone number for the Police Department online, and I called and asked around until I finally found Aiden. I was transferred a few times, and hung up on even more, but it was understandable when I started off the conversation with Hi, are you Aiden, a detective who knows Samantha and Connor Brennan, and Liam Sullivan?

It wasn’t exactly the smoothest or smartest path getting to where we are now, and it was definitely cringe-worthy, but like I said … here we are.

A few streets away we walked up to Luna’s Café. It wasn’t as good as The Brew – I would know seeing as how I’ve been coming to this place the past few weeks instead of risking the chance of running into Connor over at The Brew – but it would have to do. On the days I knew he had off from the Firehouse and would most likely be working over at his parent’s café, I made sure I stayed away at all costs.

Okay … so I was avoiding him.

I had a good reason for avoiding him though.

I thought I would still be able to avoid him at least a little while longer, but apparently I was wrong. Over the last few months I learned that he was working less and less at the café and filling in more and more at the Firehouse, and I got confirmation rather sneakily from Sam that she nor Connor would be at The Brew today, but such is my luck. Months of going into The Brew and not getting caught by him … but today, with Aiden … of course.

I should have just known better than to meet Aiden there. Or to go in there at all.

So, why did you go to The Brew today then? Today of all days? You knew there would always be a chance that he could be there regardless of what Sam said. You know how things change.

Shit.

Damnit.

Maybe because ironically I feel safe and protected there? Who knows?

Why the hell am I still talking to myself?

Jesus Christ. I needed to stop this shit.

It didn’t matter why I went there or what happened, it’s over and done with.

Thankfully Aiden and I ordered our drinks and then sat down.

As Aiden started to speak, I thought maybe I was a little hasty in thinking that I was thankful that we were finally sitting and getting the chance to talk, because he jumped right in and I still wasn’t ready yet.

So Riley, why did you call me out of the blue like that? You said on the phone that you have a problem, and that even though I don’t know you, you think I’m the only one who can help you. I’ll admit, you knowing Sam and Liam, and even Connor, is the biggest reason I said I’d meet you outside of the station as you requested, and I am interested in finding out what the problem is especially seeing as how you used some pretty unorthodox methods to get in touch with me … but I have to be upfront with you before you say anything and let you know that I’m not sure I can help you, Aiden said, sounding interested like he mentioned, but also sincere, and somewhat confused. I definitely didn’t blame him for being confused. This was definitely a screwed up situation.

He did need to know one thing for sure though …

I’m pretty sure you can help me, I told him.

Why do you think that? he asked holding my gaze.

I blew out a deep breath and said, Because you’re a detective, and I need your specific kind of help.

He seemed to straighten up a little at my response; probably because he knew I was finally about to tell him what he wanted to know. He had to have already known I called him for his specific skills, but before I was vague.

I told him during our first conversation that I needed help when I introduced myself on the phone, but I told him I didn’t want to get into the specifics until I met with him in person. He reluctantly agreed to meet me outside of work, and like he said, it was only because I name-dropped. I didn’t blame him for his hesitation in regards to meeting me, seeing as how he has no clue who I really am, or what is going on. Or what I may be getting him into. I know I should be thankful that he agreed to meet me at all, but right now I was second-guessing everything.

Okay. So, Riley. Why do you think you need a detective?

He asked me the question in a voice that sounded an awful lot like he was trying to put me at ease.

It didn’t really help though.

Once I said it out loud to someone, it would all be real.

Too real.

Someone else besides me would know what’s been going on.

Would Aiden keep it to himself? Didn’t he have to? Wasn’t this confidential or something? Or was it not?

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Would he tell Sam? And then would she tell Liam? And then would it trickle down to Connor? That’s what I didn’t want to happen.

I didn’t need them to worry. Or get involved. Or know … why.

Why am I only thinking about this now?

Maybe I should have gone to another detective.

Someone who didn’t know me, or have connections to me.

But you didn’t want to go to someone else, because you were worried that nobody else would believe what you’re thinking is happening to you, or that they wouldn’t understand why. That’s why you contacted Aiden. Because people you know and love know him, and trust him, for the most part.

Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything at all then. Maybe I should have kept this all to myself and tried to deal with it on my own.

I knew better than that though. I couldn’t deal with this on my own. I tried. The situation didn’t get any better – it wouldn’t get any better. It wouldn’t go away. It’s only become worse and more worrisome and frightening.

I did need help.

Riley – Aiden cut into my thoughts with a much sterner voice.

I took a deep breath.

All or nothing.

I needed help.

I think I have a stalker.

Connor

What do you mean she moved back here? I asked with barely contained anger. I don’t know how I was able to keep what I was feeling out of my voice, but for the most part I kept all of my emotions in check. For now at least. What do you mean she goes to college with Sam now? That she lives in your building? When did all of this shit happen? And why the fuck didn’t anybody tell me? I didn’t voice that last question out loud, but I wanted to scream it into the phone. Apparently my sister really could keep things to herself. These past few months of her not telling me about Riley has been proof of that shit. I just didn’t think she would keep something like this to herself. She knows what Riley means to me.

What she meant to me.

Shit.

I knew Riley was avoiding me, but I had no idea what lengths she obviously had gone to to make that shit happen. It wasn’t just the texts, and phone calls, or random meetings here and