Somebody, Free Me: The Food Addict’S Silent Cry

By Cheryl L. Guy

There is something very therapeutic about hearing someone else share the story of her own personal struggle. Somebody, Free Me is written from that point of view. Its as if you are sitting in the circle of a twelve-step recovery session and are listening to a fellow struggler share her journey toward healing. Cheryl has a way of sharing her pain through the lens of family and faith which provides both a sense of honesty and hope. I pray God blesses you as you read it. -Jeff Leake, author of God In Motion.

Cheryl Guy is a perfect example of how God can take someone who is in great bondage and propel her toward healing by the power of his love and leading. -Barb Priestap, Gannon University faculty member, mother of three, wife of one and sister in the Lord.

Cheryl provides very poignant word pictures that will help the reader understand the emotional pain of someone with food addiction issues and the recovery process. -Melodie Leake, Allison Park Church Marriage Matters Pastor

No one has a unique challenge in life. Maybe you dont have an eating disorder. But whatever you may be facing, youll find many intersecting points between your story and Cheryls. At those intersections, you will feel encouraged and a sense of healing just for you! -Al Detter, Pastor since 1975

My interest peaked immediately as I began to read Somebody, Free Me. As someone whos spent nearly a lifetime in personal battles with food, I was drawn in by Cheryls heartfelt words about her struggles with bulimia and her active choice of recovery. Readers will discover many positive coping strategies to help move them towards freedom from food addiction. -Jane Kanter, University Director of the Learning Disabilities Program

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 24, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490855820

Cheryl L. Guy

Cheryl lives in Erie, PA with her husband Kerry. They enjoy traveling and have visited exotic places including Hawaii, Europe and Israel. She has served as a university administrator, faculty member and therapist. Cheryl’s future plans include retiring from the field of education to pursue ministry and her writing career.

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Copyright © 2014 Cheryl L. Guy.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-5581-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-5580-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-5582-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014917891

WestBow Press rev. date: 11/24/2014

Contents

Preface

Part 1: The Anatomy of an Addictive Personality

Chapter 1 The Sinking Self-Concept

Chapter 2 Driven to Be the Best Little Girl

Chapter 3 The Rescuer in Need of Rescuing

Chapter 4 The Hopeless Perfectionist

Chapter 5 The Lost Child

Part 2: The Paradox

Chapter 6 Relationships in General

Chapter 7 Young Love

Chapter 8 College and Career Loves

Chapter 9 Ready for a Commitment

Chapter 10 Mother/Daughter Relationship

Chapter 11 Father/Daughter Relationship

Chapter 12 Extended Family Relationships

Chapter 13 Friends and Work

Chapter 14 Church Family

Chapter 15 My Relationship with My Husband

Chapter 16 My Relationship with God

Chapter 17 The Ambivalence of Change

Conclusion: Holistic Healing from the Heart

My Thanks

About the Author

In memory of my Mom,

Victoria Marie Campanella-Maruso

Preface

I cried silently for many years.

When I first started writing this book, I wanted to stay detached, to take the objective stance. I considered using a title The Eating Disorder Victim. Then I decided that most readers would think only of anorexia and bulimia nervosa. While these appear to be the two most extreme eating disorders, binge eating causing excessive weight gain or starvation diets often leading to the yo-yo weight gain/weight loss syndrome, are just as serious and confining. All, in my opinion and based on my personal experience, fall under a category similar to addiction, and those lost in the disorder often follow similar patterns, share personality traits, attitudes, and dysfunctional family histories. Because of this, each one of us has to make an active choice to abandon our obsessive behaviors.

As I stepped further into this endeavor, I considered emphasizing psychological theories along with methods of diagnosis and treatment. However, I stopped short knowing that I do not want this book to be only for the professional but rather for anyone who suffers from or simply holds an interest in eating disorders or addictive patterns.

Sitting here now composing the preface, I question the need to list my credentials. I hold a Bachelor of Arts in Education and English as well as a Master of Science in Counseling Psychology and a Master of Divinity equivalency. All have prepared and allow me to work closely with others and to communicate effectively thus enabling me to write this book.

Yet I know that my most important credential is not a degree. Rather it is the fact that I am a recovering food user. For eighteen years, half of my life at the time I sought treatment, I fought the self-destructive eating disorder bulimia. During that time, I saw how easily food addiction can begin and how difficult it is to end. During treatment, I realized that the disorder is not only a problem; it is a symptom.

With this in mind, I offer this book first as a preventive measure for those who recognize food addiction tendencies in themselves or others they love, and second as a word of encouragement to those who are already lost in the vicious cycle of an eating disorder. Throughout this book, I will take you on a journey where you will see that others like you have felt your despair and have taken the necessary steps towards a lifelong process of healing.

You no longer have to cry those secret tears.

Section 1

The Anatomy of an Addictive Personality

Chapter 1

The Sinking Self-Concept

When dealing with a circumstance, be it positive or negative, we often cannot stop from glancing back at the past, studying the present, or envisioning the future. Such reflection is natural, for our past has helped shape our present. And what we do with our present will determine our future.

Through many years of trying to understand my disorder on my own and through the brief time I allowed myself in therapy, I was forced to focus on my past. I learned that throughout many years of my adult life, I interpreted things through the eyes of an innocent, fearful, and sensitive child who always wanted to please others.

As far back as my memory can carry me, I distinctly remember what I interpreted as demanding words from my father: Stop pouting. Smile! Instead of understanding that in my dad’s reality, he just wanted his little girl to be happy, I heard his words as an order. Never wanting to disappoint or anger him, I tried to obey. I suppressed my hurts, put on a happy face and strove on the outside to attain success and satisfaction.

I believed that as the only child as well as first grandchild and niece in a home of six adults, I had to play the role of perfect youngest, middle, and eldest child to keep my parents’ marriage intact and to make everyone happy. But inside, I continued to struggle with fear, pain, and self-hatred. When the fight became too difficult to win, the masks too heavy to wear, and the pain too hard to bear, I turned to food for false relief.

My close-knit Italian family was not unlike others. The table was a place of comfort because it was where we came to gather with family and friends. I, like many children, was rewarded with a cookie when I behaved appropriately or when adults wanted to silence me, and I watched as others rewarded themselves with their favorite treat after a hard day’s work. From my child’s eyes, people appeared to enjoy eating; yet I listened as my two aunts, my mother, and my grandmother mourned over how fat they were getting though no one in my family was obese.

What I did not realize at that time was that in our society, unlike alcohol or other drugs, food is a substance we can legally abuse. What I was learning is that the result of compulsive overeating, obesity is scorned just as harshly in our society today as the inappropriate behavior of drug addicts.

My father and