A Letter To My Mother: A Daughter's Perspective

By Sharisa Robertson

A Letter To My Mother: A Daughter's Perspective takes you into the past, present, and future of 11 women who have been negatively impacted by their relationship with their mother. Each woman courageously writes a letter to her mother confronting these issues, reliving those painful memories, asking those questions, telling their pain, digging deep into those layers to finally have that voice that they were never given. As you read these emotion packed letters you feel the anger, the hurt, the cry for their mother's love but as they shed the layers that they once hid behind, you will also feel the hope, the strength, and the release from each author. Different stories, different ages, different stages in their life but with one thing in common, each women decided to begin the healing process by beginning their journey to forgiveness. You have been invited into their world, from their perspective by sharing with you their to their mother.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sharisa Robertson
• Release date: Sep 13, 2014
• ISBN: 9780985496104

Sharisa Robertson

Sharisa T. Robertson has been writing since she was 10. Her room was a fire hazard because she had over 100 episodes of her own TV show written and all on her paper. After constantly hearing about the starving artist, she made up her mind that it would be impossible to try and actually pursue a career in writing. Although she still wrote in her journal and calendar, love to take notes and collecting quotes, her passion for writing was pushed aside and she gave it up, only writing on occasion. So to be an author over 20 years later, is a dream come true.Sharisa, who is also a Publisher and Entrepreneur made her debut as an author by being a contributing writer sharing her testimony in Cheers To Your Success 2: Women on the Rise and Owning their Destiny. Her chapter is entitled Makeup of an Masterpiece. This opporunity led her to create her company, Lilies of the Field Media, LLC in which she has released her first book which is based off of her struggle of having a strained relationship with her mother.A Letter To My Mother: A Daughter's Perspective, is a collaboration of 11 women sharing their stories of being negatively impacted by the relationship with their mothers and their journey into forgiveness and healing. This collaboration has opened the door to Sharisa's newest venture, Daughters United, a support group and community for women who are struggling with this issue.She is currently working on several projects including 2 books, a documentary, and a play. Be on the lookout for so much more to come by visiting www.sharisarobertson.com or www.lotfmedia.com

Book preview

This project A Letter to My Mother is going to change the lives of the daughters who wrote it and the mothers who read it. Sharisa Robertson is to be commended for birthing such a healing project as this one and making a conscious effort in moving past her hurt to her healing by taking the lessons of life and not allowing history to repeat itself. If we cannot confront our past, we cannot conquer our fears and commit to our success.

The mother-daughter relationship is the foundation of success for every girl. The words of wisdom, the moments of motivation, seeds of success and lots of love from a mother will shape a girl's life. The same holds true in the reverse, words of destruction, constant criticism, seeds of failure and the display of hate and contempt can destroy a girl’s future. The old nursery rhyme, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt," is the biggest lie ever told to a child. Words form our world and what we hear over and over will eventually determine how one sees themselves and ultimately what they become. God spoke and everything that is, came to be.

My mother was my first life coach, first cheerleader, first mentor, first stylist, first personal assistant and my greatest source of inspiration and motivation. Growing up, I realized not every girl had what my two sisters and I had in our mother. My mother supported my dreams and goals even as a little girl.

At 17, my life changed when I found out that I was pregnant and knew immediately that this would be disappointing to my mother and my father. My mother spoke words over my life that would set me on a new course of destiny, "Angela this is not the end of your life but the beginning of a different life. My mother went on to tell me that I would finish high school, go to college and be successful. I can hear her now when she said, you were born for success and this won't stop you." This could have been different if my mother had chosen other words to speak over my life at this time.

My daughter Lakeshia was born, and I was determined that she and I would have the same kind of relationship, that I would be there to support her goals and dreams. When she made mistakes, I was going to support her as my mother had done for me. I would be the one that would speak words of wisdom over her life and tell her that she too could and would be successful.

I want the daughters who shared their stories to know that you reverse this situation by using your story to become a life lesson and not a life sentence. What you have been through doesn't have to be stumbling blocks, but stepping stones. We don't have to be what people call us or live like people said we would. Become better not bitter, expect prosperity, not poverty, be the head, not the tail and lender not the borrower. You don't have to be a victim you can be victorious!!!

If you remember that, you are your mother's daughter but you're not your mother!

Angela M. Williams,

Founder/President A Girl and Her Pearls

Preface

It was a January night, around 2 a.m. I woke up out of my sleep with an idea for a book collaboration. I was so excited. I wanted to call somebody, but I didn’t know who was up. My excitement quickly turned into me being antsy as I began to think could this really be a book, a good book. Would people really want to read about the trials and tribulations that go on between mothers and daughters? I am not talking about the occasional argument or yeah; my mom gets on my nerves. I am talking about the deep-rooted issues, the abuse, the neglect, the hurt, the pain, the anger, the betrayal, and the disappointments that no one talks about all the time. Then I began to worry, there was no way that I could get any woman to tell their stories. We all know the saying, "what goes in this house stays in this house." Not to mention, telling the whole world in a book about the horrible things that transpired in their lives between them and their mothers.

I just had this feeling in my spirit that this book was going to change lives, heal women from their past, release them, deliver them, bring awareness to this issue, to be evaluated and discussed, break generational curses, help many begin their journey to forgiveness, and restore the mother-daughter relationship. I just knew, I mean why else would I be awakened with such a concept at the wee hours of the night. I knew a book like this is needed.

I know firsthand about having a strained mother-daughter relationship. I know firsthand about being mistreated, crying myself to sleep, seeing things I should not have seen, hearing things I should not have heard, being told things and being called things that crushed my identity, my self-esteem, and self-worth. I know what it feels like to have a mother who you felt didn’t act like a mother, your mother because she treated you like a chick out on the street. To have a mother not show you how to be a lady, teach you about sex instead of wrongfully accusing you of having sex. I know what it’s like being kicked out of the house numerous times, being lied to and lied on, and just flat out have your feelings hurt by the person who created you and in my case that I have been told I looked like.

I always felt like I was alone, and not too many people understood me. I knew a lot of girls and women who had great relationships with their mothers. They would give me the side eye when they found out my mother and I wouldn’t talk for months. They didn’t understand or even see how it could be possible to have a nonexistent, dysfunctional, and a hateful relationship between a mother and her daughter.

The night, I was gifted by God the vision for this book, I was up thinking before going to bed. I was actually surprised at how many women I was meeting and talking to that was suffering from the same thing as me. Some were even as old as I was and was still carrying this heavy burden from their past. For many, it was still a part of their present because they were still having conflicts with their mother. I began to notice I wasn’t the only one. I knew something had to be done, not just address the problem but also to fix it. It was affecting these women in so

many areas personally, in their relationships, in their businesses/jobs, their parenting, their friendships, etc. and it was

hindering them. They complained and cried about some of the same things I did.

God provided the answer, in fact, He already had all of this planned. He has been waiting for me to look finally beyond my own problems and start asking the right questions to the problems that concern something, someone beyond just me. I then began to realize how I started my road to forgiveness towards my mother after harboring 16 years of bitterness. I wrote about it in my debut as an author Cheers to Your Success: Women on the Rise and Owning Their Destiny created by visionary, Carol Sankar. Telling my story helped me to heal, but in this collaboration, I felt it would be more effective to talk directly to the source, to the mothers.

In most of our cases, that would be nearly impossible face to face. The next best thing would be to write it out. There is healing in the power of the pen, and that is what I envisioned for this book project. Whether or not the mothers read, the book isn’t the issue. Providing a platform where the women can finally release to their mom what they have been feeling, what they experienced, and the questions they wanted to ask without being interrupted, without being told to shut up, without being told to get over it, without being told so what or brushed off and ignored.

Please note, this book is not to bash moms because this is not what the book is about. Most of the women in this project are moms or have some sort of the mother role whether as an aunt, godparent, spiritual mom, mentor, etc. You will read the letters of 12 courageous women who stepped up to the plate, to tell their story, to begin their journey to forgiveness, to be the warrior in

their family and take a stand, to be voiceless no more and speak their truth.

After reading these letters, one of three things will be accomplished. You, the reader will gain an understanding of their story, even if you have never had a bad relationship with your mom. You will relate to their story because you have been or still are in their shoes. Lastly, you will aspire to be where they are now in their success, in their mindset, and in their process of forgiveness.

So after months of searching for writers, losing writers along the way, wanting to give up, being on an emotional roller coaster, experiencing hardships, even being fearful, a sisterhood was formed, a collaboration was created, and a book was birthed.

I invite you to A Letter To My Mother: A Daughter’s Perspective.

Sharisa T. Robertson

Introduction

Mothers. Daughters. When you combine the two words mothers and daughters, what is likely to come to mind? Is it a beautiful relationship? One where the mom loves her daughter tells her she’s beautiful, teaches her how to be a lady, encourages her in her studies, and does her hair, paint her nails, go to the park with her, talk to her about the changes occurring in her body, etc.

Picture a daughter who looks up to her mom and wants to be just like, she goes into her mom’s closet and puts on her clothes and high heels. She even tries to mimic the way her mom walks, switching a little. She wants to wear the same perfumes, and she wants to work at the same place her mom works. She goes out of her way to make the best mother’s day cards and may even make her breakfast in bed. If anyone says that, she looks like her mom, the daughter blushes and secretly beams on the inside because to her; her mother is the most beautiful woman in the world, and if she looks like her mother then she must be beautiful, too.

They go on mommy and daughter dates to the movies, have spa days, to dinner, shopping and maybe even the teahouse. Mom is her daughter’s number one cheerleader and supporter in her academics and activities. According to Song of Solomon 6:9 …………the favorite of her mother, dearly loved by the one who bore her. That is how all mothers should feel about her daughter, right?

Unfortunately, for every mother and daughter this is not their reality. Maybe at some point it was but things changed. For some, this was never a depiction of their relationship with their

mom at all. Many daughters have suffered abuse of all kinds from their very own mother, the one who bore her.

I can admittedly say that my first heartbreak, my first dysfunctional relationship, my first disappointment, came from my very own mother.