The Curious Musings of Sally Columbous

By Tracey Hollings

Tracey lives in Ryde NSW. She has a 20 year
old son who is very fi t and a personal trainer (she
isnt) and a very opinionated cat Wally. She loves
to write, garden, cook and make greeting cards.
She adores music, especially folk and is a pacifi st.
She lives mostly in jeans and t-shirts and hope
you enjoy this collection of fact, fi ction, musings,
recollections and observations. Happy reading!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Dec 11, 2013
• ISBN: 9781493131341

Tracey Hollings

Tracey lives in Ryde NSW. She has a 20 year old son who is very fit and a personal trainer (she isn't) and a very opinionated cat Wally. She loves to write, garden, cook and make greeting cards. She adores music, especially folk and is a pacifist. She lives mostly in jeans and t-shirts and hope you enjoy this collection of fact, fiction, musings, recollections and observations. Happy reading!

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Tracey Hollings.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Rev. date: 12/03/2013

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris LLC

1-800-455-039

www.Xlibris.com.au

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Contents

A Viking Life

Accidents

Aeroplanes

Anders

Apples

Angels

Autumn

Beaches

Bed and Breakfast

Box of Treasures

Boxes

Brickies

Bricks

Bridges

Christmas

Claude Cardinelle

Clovis

Cosmology

Cracker Night

Dream Streets

Elephants

Fairies

Fashion

Fathers

Firemen

Fires

First Aid

Fish

Food

Garden Gnomes

Gwyneth and Owen

Heatwave

Hillary Hamilton

Humour

Insults

Isolation

Jacob Mclean and Bronco

John the Handyman

Just in the Nick of Time

Labels

Language

Leonard Cohen!!

Love

Marg

Marie

Mellissa

Monkey

Mother Nature

Music

My Angel’s Wings Fell Off

Needlework

Noise

Once Upon a Garage Sale

One Christmas

Oscar

Pedro Ponches

Penny

Pets

Porphory

Purity

Queenie & Willy

Quest of the golden Gumboot Part Four Aug 24th 2012

Rant Day

Rediculous

Shopping

Sorrow

Sport

Spring

Sri Lanka

Street of Dreams

Tammy and Her Sleep Deprivation

Taylor

The Birthday Hat

The Ink Well

The Most Beautiful Guitar

The Quest of the Golden Gumboot Part One 

The Quest of the Golden Gumboot Part Two

The Quest of the Golden Gumboot Part Three

The Reindeer dream

Time

Tri-Limba

Vikings

Voting

Witches

World Cup

A Viking Life

G reetings dear reader I hope all is well. Now, I currently have an absolute fascination with Vikings. What a wonderful industrious, creative, amazing race. They were of course inclined to a little pillage and plunder yet also did an extensive array of VERY clever things, so let’s go exploring and venture back to AD800. The Vikings built the most beautiful long-boats, complete with lovely shiny shields along the sides, and dragons heads or wonderful swirly curls on the prows. These were constructed from timber and held together with metal nails. These mighty vessels would sail forth crewed by an assortment of Vikings to discover and settle places such as Greenland, North America, Russia, Britain and of course Scandinavia. Once these settlements were established the Vikings then invented trade. Animal pelts from beavers and squirrels, ivory (made from walrus tusks) jade, gold, silver and bronze jewellery, beautiful brooches, combs and amulets, and money… yes money… the original coinage. How clever! They also were avid farmers and grew food crops, farmed animals and of course created smoked fish. They made their own ale from juniper berries, herbs and honey. They lived in houses with no windows which must have been quite stuffy, but with Ragnar (you will meet him shortly) on the loose, and dragons, one can never be too careful. The cooked their food in clay ovens and made their own bread (well they couldn’t pop down to the supermarket could they) which I should imagine was not very light and fluffy. Some had the most wonderful names, such as Eric Blood Axe (now he sounds like someone not to be reckoned with) Harald Blue-Tooth who it would seem had serious dental issues, Thorkal The Tall (well that’s self explanatory) Ivan The Boneless (too gruesome to even explore) and Harald Fine Hair. Interesting chap Harry Fine Hair. Apparently he had a serious crush on a beautiful princess named Gyoa, who when he made advances, declined his offer declaring he didn’t have a chance as he didn’t have his own kingdom! Now that’s a girl with serious attitude. Well, he refused to cut or groom his hair, hence the name, until she accepted his proposal. He eventually became the first King of Normandy. Must have been a very serious crush! Now this brings us to Ragnar Hairy Breeks, who also had attitude. His wife constructed him a very special pair of trousers boiled in pitch, rolled in sand and covered in fur. She had good intent as they apparently protected him from dragons and cold weather. He found them a little cumbersome, and uncomfortable which may explain his grumpiness. He especially found them a problem when attending to toilet issues, yet was very grateful as Mrs Ragnar had spent many Viking hours on her mission. Oh and Ragnar was paid 7000 pounds by Charles The Bold (of Paris fame) to just GO AWAY. Could this have been the first recorded case of protection money? Poor Rag’s met his demise in a pit of vipers. Dear me! Wonder if he was wearing his special duds at the time? I also wonder who captained the long boats on raids. I’m betting on a toss up between Ragnar and Eric. Now our dear Vikings loved their Gods, they sure did. The favourite was apparently Thor The Thunder God, who cruised the heavens in a chariot, and was a big chap with red hair, red beard and red eyes. He was the patron saint of fishermen and farmers and when annoyed would send down huge bolts of thunder and lightening. KABOOM. Goodness! The Vikings corresponded in runes, sixteen twig like inscriptions carved onto wood, bone or stone. Their own little alphabet! How clever. They also wrote Icelandic Sagas with goose-quill pens and drew beautiful illuminations. This hobby was later adopted by Monks. They also invented open air latrines (interesting) wonder if they read their runes, sketched or simply chatted whilst sitting on them. Another very useful invention was ice skates made from bones and strapped onto the feet with leather. I can’t really see Eric Blood Axe or Rags scooting around on those babies, still you never know. Speaking of footwear, there is a photograph of a pair of animal hide boots in a Scandinavian Museum with the leather on the outside and fur on the inside. Could this have been the first Ugg boot? I think so. Oh and looms, yes looms, they wove their own fabric for clothing (bet it was a bit scratchy) and ship sails etc. Too clever. I can see Mrs Ragnar darning away with her bone sewing needle, stoking the fire, whilst baking away and milking the goats and horses, yes… horses. So even though they were inclined to a little pillage and plunder, those dear Vikings sure did the most amazing things. Hats off to them I say. So dear reader, raise your ale filled, horn drinking vessel and join me in saying Cheers to the wonderous Vikings and thank them for their amazing inventions, spirit of adventure and creativity! Tracey Hollings Ja n 2012

Accidents

A ccidents happen to some more than others. My friend Tammy is shall we say, a tad accident prone. Oh let’s be honest, she is a disaster waiting to happen. I think I have mentioned before how she tripped on a sports car seatbelt whilst trying to make an elegant exit and kerbang, down she went, resulting in a rather nasty knee injury and ripping he ‘Merivale’ box pleat pin stripe trousers! Goodness me! I believe I have also mentioned the platform shoe incident (red patent leather with a very fetching cork sole) which of course resulted in a broken ankle and totally interferred with her carpentry course, oh and she recently dropped a hammer on her big toe (right foot) trying to hang Christmas lights. Ouch! This is when you are allowed to say rude words. The hammer I have been told was of panel beating strength. Double ouch!! Once when living in Oxford, she pottered down the sleet covered, cobbled street in her black platform boots and yep, down again like a nine pin. She consequently now only wears sneakers or flat shoes. Around the same time, she exited from her shower, slipped on the lino floor, grabbed a door handle and sliced her hand, right through her life line which required several stitches. Dear oh dear! She is still with us which makes you wonder about palmistry. Hmm. Recently she tripped on a doorstep and landed on her forehead which resulted in a nasty gash, major blood loss and mild concussion. This was followed by a fall (of course on a dark and stormy night) on a gutter, resulting in a broken left arm and she wasn’t even wearing platform shoes! As she is left handed and lives alone this proved to be a little bit of a challenge. Whilst the arm was in plaster she then accidently, slammed her cat’s tail in the fly screen door. Wilbur (the cat) was shall we say very, and I mean VERY cross. As she was trying to reach the door handle to free him he latched onto her right leg, ripping it to ribbons whilst biting her right hand in a kind of vampirish fashion. Well, talk about flying fur! This consequently resulted in a course of anti-biotics and a tetanus injection. As a younster she plugged a TV aerial into a short wave radio (don’t ask) which resulted in her flying across the living room like a rocket. Oh, and yes in her bikini wearing days she was stung on her bottom by a blue bottle. An injury which took considerable time to heal so I’m told. I didn’t know her as a toddler but I’ll bet that was interesting! Well, what next!? I am presently trying to persuade her to purchase a padded space suit (complete with helmet) and a wheelchair, just in case. I do of course have a little stock pile of get well cards, band aids and wish her well. She is, at present fine, so I am keeping my fingers crossed! Tracey Hollings De c 2011

Aeroplanes

C arly and Marly were twins. They resided with their father, Bert in an apartment in central Sydney. Their mother had met with a grizzly demise, which quite frankly I prefer not to discuss. The three had a mutual passion, Aeroplanes! Yes… they ADORED planes… The trio spent many hours at the airport, plane watching and generally admiring the ‘big silver birds’ of the sky. I myself am not a huge fan after an incident involving a dinner of chocolate chilli chicken and a late night which resulted in me actually using the sick bag on a trip from Hobart to Sydney. The poor man next to me requested a new seat as he seemed very agitated at the thought of me depositing the a-fore mentioned meal all over his lap top. Some people can be so fussy! I eventually returned home via Melbourne by train. Anyway back to the point, after much thought, Bert stumbled upon the ideal birthday gift for his twins, a mystery flight! Oh yeah! Carly and Marly were so excited they could barely sleep. They arrived at the airport (yet again) and could barely keep their little legs still. They were toe tapping like no tomarrow. Eventually they boarded Mr Qantas and after refreshments and a complimentary cap, they cruised over Tasmania, admired the landscape and after much ‘oohing and aahing’ cruised over Antarctica. They marvelled at the penguins, seals, whales and what was left of the ice. They were shall we say, gobsmacked. Next port of call was Melbourne where they purchased some very stylish coats and scarves and of course fancy pancy coffees. Upon returning home, they thanked Bert, had a massive group hug and all collapsed in a delerious heap. The twins of course wore their caps to bed. Ah yes, here’s to aeroplanes and all those who fly in them.

Anders

D ear Anders… I am typing this not to