The Dungeoneers

By Pauli Kidd

Meet Snekki the goblin! A rather dodgy priestess of an extremely dodgy goddess.
Out on the frontier, a girl has to make do as best she can. Snekki makes do with some creative “tomb archaeology,” delving into old ruins for treasures. She gathers a group of friends who almost manage to keep her out of trouble.
In an ancient tomb, the group discovers clues to the location of the long-lost palace of the Wolf Lord—one of the immortal slavers who once held the world in thrall. The palace contains a font of wishes that can make any dream come true.
The group finds themselves drawn into murderous plots that haunt the frontier. Other groups are also searching for the lost palace of the Wolf Lord. If these groups can unlock the power of the font, then the free lands could once again fall beneath the heel of tyrants.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Perceptions Press
• Release date: Dec 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9781998924721

Book preview

Dungeoneers

Dungeoneers

by

Pauli Kidd

Published by

Perceptions Press

2023

Dungeoneers

Copyright © Pauli Kidd 2023

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reprinted, reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, now known or hereafter invented without the express prior written permission of the author, except for brief passages quoted by a reviewer in a newspaper or magazine. To perform any of the above is an infringement of copyright law.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Published in paperback in 2023 by Perceptions Press

Previously published as a Kindle e-book, ASIN B006BJGYI6, November 21, 2011, and in paperback by Lulu.com, ISBN 978-0-987087-87-4, May 9 2013

Cover Art and Design: Margot Wilson

ISBN: 978-1-998924-70-7 (paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-998924-71-4 (Kindle e-book)

ISBN: 978-1-998924-72-1 (Smashwords e-book)

Published in Canada by

Perceptions Press

www.perceptionspress.ca

Victoria BC Canada

Contents

Dedication

Preface

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

About the Author

Other Publications by Perceptions Press

Dedication

For the fine old gaming crew.

May we all roll dice together again.

And for RPG gamers everywhere.

Preface

Far, far back in the weird days of 1975, I started high school at a glorious hippie bush school in Australia. Over that year, I made three discoveries that changed my life forever.

I discovered wargaming with model soldiers.

I discovered the literary works of generations of fantasy and science fiction authors.

And then—unveiled, hot off the press—there came the game Dungeons & Dragons.

That D&D box filled with little brown books rocked my world.

Suddenly, I was inside an adventure story. I was an explorer, a trickster, a fighter. I wandered weird lands and experienced amazing adventures. It started a love affair with the role-playing genre and game design that has never left me.

As we played the game, we made places of joyous imagination. Those original games were full of wild fun and inclusion. Basic edition D&D exhorted us to enjoy playing whatever creatures we liked, not just elves, dwarves, halflings, and humans. We let our imaginations populate a richer world. Many of us also used role playing games (RPG) to explore gender roles, letting us step into other shoes. These games were a vital, liberating first step for many, many people in the LGBTQ+ community.

Other games came rapidly on the heels of Dungeons & Dragons. But the charm of those original D&D games—shuffling down a dungeon corridor in your battered armour, trying to guess what might be around the next corner—that magical feeling never left me.

These days, the RPG hobby is doing better than ever. Those of us, who became creators, built games and worlds that have brought in new generations of players.

Of that old, original crew of writers and players, some of us have made it this far. Some of us fell. But the joy lives. The torch that was lit has been passed on.

Well done, my friends. Well done.

For those folk in those wonderful games back in the ’70s, and all those hundreds of imaginative, crazy gamers I have met over my life—this one’s for you.

Keep the dice rolling!

Pauli Kidd

Chapter 1

To the far north of the City State, out past the Bellatrix wilds, there lay an eccentric region known as The Frogtown Reach. It was a place of stony hills, ancient ruins, and vast reaches of forest. The little settlement of Frogtown sat at the end of the long, long road that led back to civilisation and nestled between wetlands, woods, and plains. Here, various colourful tribes of orcs—pig-snouted, green-skinned, and well-adapted to their forest life—would emerge and trade with the townsfolk. Caravans of centaurs would arrive from the plains, seeking to swap their goods for metal tools. A small community of fossickers also ranged the old ruins hunting for trinkets and valuables. The fossickers did at least provide the town with a certain amount of colour—as witnessed by regular and spectacular barroom brawls at the Pickled Pixie tavern and a selection of weird antiques found in the marketplace.

Frogtown’s eccentric houses were made in and around old ruins and statues, with greenery flourishing around her many strange springs. Those down on their luck, keen for a new start, or who preferred to avoid the close attention of authorities would arrive in dribs and drabs via the long road from the city. Consequently, the area became lively with folk and customs from myriad far lands.

Most locals kept themselves close to the town. Colourful regions, such as the vast field of ancient barrows, Skellybone Lake, and the Blood Fells, were all avoided by anyone with the least smidgeon of caution. Other regions such as the eastern plains were the province of wandering tribes of centaurs and offered little comfort to settlers. Desert regions to the north were stark, waterless, and home to unreasonable tribes of kobolds—small dog-like creatures with a penchant for playing morbid tricks upon unwanted visitors.

Southeast of Frogtown lay a range of brooding, flinty hills covered with grim banks of brambles. The hills ran for miles, into haunted woods and forbidding henges made of dark red stone. Bone fragments were littered through the soil, while stark old skulls gleamed from deep within bramble thickets.

In the dark centuries after the mortal races had freed themselves from the elves, a barbaric people had made settlements here in the valleys. They had buried their dead in barrow mounds raised on the hills. Some burials were humble, mere pits where the dead had been laid to rest with a few offerings and possessions. Others were more elaborate, stone-lined cells where the dead lay in state with gold, gems, and magical weapons. But the old ones had been jealous guardians of their noble dead and only fools or heroes would ever dare disturb them.

At the very edges of the barrow hills, a slight semblance of peace still held.

The outer regions had been picked clean of finds long ago. In some places, however, weird herbs grew amongst the brambles and ancient skulls, strange things with leaves that shimmered with sickly colours, or scents that wrenched horribly at the mind.

On a bright, sunny day, a female centaur came trotting carefully down a dell between two barrow hills, peering at the plants. She was a freckled, cheerful creature with a great sweep of long, rose-gold hair, tall, pointed ears, and leaf-green eyes. Her fetlocks were feathered with bright white hair and her equine body was a gorgeous dapple grey. Hung with bags, satchels, and bandoliers of empty bottles, she carried a pruning knife, secateurs, and a formidable pair of gardening gloves. A broad straw hat and a tunic merrily patterned in white and green completed her ensemble.

The young centaur moved warily forward, keeping away from the brambles and old stones. She searched through some wildflowers growing beside a fallen branch and found a few of interest. Carefully digging at the base of a clump, she removed some choice tubers, then covered the remainder to allow the plant to propagate. She brushed the tubers free of dirt, before carefully placing them into a bag.

A head popped up from behind a mound of dirt on the far side of the dell. It belonged to a young woman with long, dark green hair tied in a ponytail, with a rakish quiff at the front. She had attractive green skin, bright eyes, tall ears, and pointy lower canines. Pushing a pair of dark sun goggles up onto her forehead, the woman waved and called cheerfully to the centaur.

Hello? Excuse me!

She had an unexpectedly cultured, eager voice. The centaur cautiously peered over the bushes and waved in return.

Hallo? The centaur looked about herself. You mean me?

Yes! Hi. How do you do? The green girl waved at a chunk of an old branch that lay close by one of the centaur’s hooves. "Just a quick favour. Could you please just throw that over there."

The centaur looked at the chunk of wood. It was a considerable block of timber. This?

Yes! No, no, don’t move! Stay there. And throw it about a dozen yards down the dell. Try to hit that big stone!

Oh, um… Very well.

The centaur woman slipped her trowel into its sheath on her belt and heaved up the heavy old chunk of log. She launched it awkwardly into the air, sending it thudding to the ground a dozen paces away. There was an instant flash. A horrifying ball of purple crackling light burst up out of the ground around the white stone just beyond. The air wrenched and twisted. Grass withered and died. The centaur reared in shock, staggered backwards, and fell crashing to the ground. She rose with a spell at the ready, little wisps of mage light flickering on her hand.

Mother of Fire!

The blaze of hideous energy seethed and twisted out in the dell, sucking the life from everything around it, leaving a great patch of dead grass and bleached white soil.

The green-skinned girl popped her head back up from behind her mound of dirt and made a face.

Ooh, well that was horrid! I thought as much! She winced. Nasty!

The centaur dropped her spell, peeked up over a log, and goggled in fright.

What the hell was that?

A dire blast! Life draining. Beastly stuff! The green girl stood up as the sphere of energy finally flickered out and vanished. Good! Means we’re on the right track!

That would have killed me! The centaur was utterly aghast. Her heart was racing. If I’d kept going down there, that would have killed me!

But it’s fine! I was here! The green girl climbed up into view and dusted herself off. She was a spry creature, small breasted, and slender, wearing a black leather jerkin over a short, flounced dress. A battered sword hung at her hip, and she held a crossbow. She flung an eloquent gesture toward the rock in the middle of the dell.

There we go. Wicked stuff! Set for mass. So, a field mouse won’t trigger it, but an explorer will.

The centaur stared at the dead, lifeless weeds all around the rock. Thank you. Thank you! She swallowed. Are there more?

Oh, sure to be! The green girl moved carefully around the outside of the dead grass, shrugging her backpack into place. All right, are we? Not singed?

Uh no. I am unharmed. Thank you. The centaur’s accent had a slightly musical lilt with a hint of grass-elven to her speech. She put a hand to her chest and tried to breathe. Was that… from the Old People?

Oh, rather! The green girl waved at the rocks littered through the local soil. "You see, these are all flint. While that stone—that is basalt. The barrow folk had a bit of a predilection for it."

The centaur was feeling quite confused. Did they?

Oh yes! The green girl consulted a notebook with stout leather covers. Excellent! Well, I would say we’re on the right track. This is definitely barrow country. We are closing in!

The centaur emerged slowly from cover, now looking at the surrounding rocks and dirt in a high state of paranoia.

They said this area was safe! That the outer barrows were all empty!

Oh, definitely empty! Well…largely. But not as safe as one’s friends might wish. The green girl motioned for the centaur to join her. Yes, far safer over this side, I think. It’s all right! Calm, calm! Over you come! Just keep to the exposed rock over there.

The centaur picked her way over to the higher ground in a state of alarm, backing away from rocks and flints that now set her hackles rising. Her tail swished nervously as she finally reached supposed safety. The green girl was awaiting her and gave a merry wave.

Hello!

The centaur swallowed, trying to appear calm. She held her hands out palms up and bowed.

Um, yes! The centaur took a breath. Hello. I am Lael Swift-Water, of the MacLaney clan. I-I thank you for your assistance.

Oh, a pleasure! Don’t mention it. The green girl sketched a curtsey. Snekki! From just up the road in Frogtown. She looked over the centaur girl in unfeigned delight. Oh, I love that tunic! That’s beautiful! Did you make it? Oh, you did? Snekki was immensely pleased. I liked the sparkles you did earlier. Magic user, are we?

Um, yes.

Well, that’s jolly fun! Useful thing, that.

Snekki pulled a glazed clay bottle from her backpack, shook the bottle, and then poured out some of the contents into a cup. She took a sip, then handed it to Lael. Here! You look a little shocky! It’s good! Rice beer with peaches!

The centaur sniffed cautiously at the drink. It was sparkling and bubbly. She sipped hesitantly, blinked, then drank some more. The liquid was incredibly pleasant. Sweet, tart, effervescent, and creamy. She nodded in acknowledgement and handed back the cup.

Snekki drank the dregs, corked the bottle, and looked about the dell in satisfaction.

Right! Well, shall we go on?

"Ah, we? Lael brushed her long hair back from her face. Um, where are we going?"

Well, there must be a barrow here! There is a booby trap. Therefore, one must expect something that the booby trap guards! The girl clapped long hands together and pointed off down the little valley. That way, I think! Stay close, stay close!

Are we…? We can’t… Still feeling very confused, Lael made a helpless little motion with her hands. I do not think we are properly equipped for exploration.

Oh, never fear! I’ve got my kit. Sterling stuff! Snekki hefted her crossbow. Right. Onward and downward!

Snekki picked her way along the side of a long hill. Lael hastened to follow, keeping close. She stared at the strange hummocks hidden in the brambles.

These are graves! Graves are dangerous!

Well, I’m a priest. Priestess! A cleric! So, we have divine cover! Anyway, I asked for a sign, and there you were. Can’t ask for better than that. Snekki peered down into the hollows below. Ah! Here we go. There should be a big tomb somewhere off and over here.

Lael pricked up her ears in interest. How do you know that?

Snekki pointed at some stunted bushes that grew in a straight line below. Parch marks! The old folk dug into the dirt, made stone chambers, and then covered them again. Water flows away from the subsurface rock.

Lael brightened, immediately understanding.

So smaller bushes mean there’s stone close beneath. Lusher bushes mean deep soil.

Exactly!

Ah! Lael finally felt her heart starting to calm. Um, I suppose they teach clerics a lot of archaeology?

Snekki coughed. Aaaah, ooh! Certainly! Why not!

They walked along together, moving carefully. Lael kept an eye out for dangers. The barrow lands now seemed far more sinister entirely. Her hooves made a muffled sound against the dirt as she hastened along on Snekki’s trail. The centaur’s interest was piqued.

So, Priestess Snekki! You’re a, ah, a warden? A guardian of this place?

No, no! Sort of tourist, really. I’m looking at some of the ransacked barrows. Snekki pointed a warning finger at another out-of-place rock down in the dell. I secured a diary from an old tomb robber that had a fairly accurate map of the barrows he’d raided. So, here we are.

Lael frowned.

You’re looking for ransacked barrows? But have they not already been robbed out?

Robbed? Snekki put a hand against her breast in protest. Recycled! Think of it. All those perfectly good treasures lying around in the dirt. No use to the dead! No use to the living! Oh, absolute waste. The shame of it! But once it’s recovered, it all goes back into circulation. Gold being spent, goods bought, services provided. Economic stimulus for local communities! A right good end! Snekki moved warily, keeping an eye on the lines of stunted bushes in the dell below. Aha! See the foliage there? Tombflower! It grows only in areas of magical emanations.

The centaur peered up over a bush and frowned.

Ah. I believe that’s wild oregano. Tombflower is more… Striated.

Is it? Oh well! Snekki sighed. Anyway, we must be close. The entry tunnels were never all that long. Snekki moved carefully onward. So, Lael! Are you one of our nomad sisters? Or have you come up the city road?

Oh, I’m from Silver Moon town. It is about… twenty days trot out into the plains. The woman tied her long hair back with a length of beaded cord. I studied under the clan mages and with a wizard from the grass elves. But I don’t have any sponsorship. My parents wished me to be a song maiden, but I can’t really sing. In fact, most people just ask me to stop! But they refused to support my studies any further. So, I thought, why not head to the two-leggers and see if there were any possibilities for schooling!

Snekki turned around and looked up at the centaur, ears pricking and impressed.

You came twenty days over the plains all alone?

Well, no. I trailed along with a trade caravan that was headed to a place called Frogtown. But I thought I shouldn’t enter town empty-handed. So, some magical herbs. Surely, they could be traded. And perhaps a local wizard might be kind enough to allow me to peruse their manuals in return for some choice spell components?

Oooh, it’s a jolly good plan! I might be able to find you some folk to talk to.

So, you are from Frogtown?

Yes! Well, I am now. Snekki weaved a vague hand towards the south. Came up the city road about a fortnight ago.

I see. Lael politely coughed. So, if you do not mind my asking, are you a tunnel goblin?

No, no. I’m sort of a half-and-half! Half royal goblin, half tree goblin. Snekki waved a hand, a sparkle in her violet eyes. There was peach brandy and some sort of kite festival involved. The orphanage ladies were never too clear about that.

Oh, I am sorry!

No, no. It’s good. Snekki shrugged, keeping her eye on the huge banks of brambles. There’s nothing like being stuck in a confined space with religious people to motivate you to launch out into life!

Ah! Lael nodded sagely. And so, you chose a religious life to honour the orphanage!

Oh, this! Snekki touched a silver symbol of a curvaceous female humanoid fox that hung about her neck. No, I just thought it might piss them off more than anything else I could choose to do really. Dreadful bloody people!

Hmm. Lael quirked up one brow in genteel concern. Actually, I always thought clerics would be more sort of…wearing armour and carrying a mace or something.

It sort of varies according to the god. And there are certain curricular adjustments.

Yes. Lael frowned, still trying to clear her thoughts. What god are you a priestess of, exactly?

Oh, they have many aspects! Why fixate on a name? It’s all just confusion. Snekki moved to the edge of a rise. But exploring is definitely up their alley!

This all seemed vaguely reasonable. Lael skittered along in Snekki’s wake, keeping close. She caught up with the goblin girl and waved to get her full attention.

"Um. Now, I am grateful that you found that trap. But this does seem a bit rash. I mean, traps, pitfalls, curses, monsters. Should we be walking toward these barrows?"

Well, of course! I mean, you’re after knowledge and depth of understanding, aren’t you? A noble cause! Snekki put one hand on her heart. "And ancient tombs are the resting places of lost secrets of the ages. Liberating that knowledge from darkness and obscurity is… well, that’s a calling! The act of a true scholar! A selfless, motivated soul!"

Is it? Lael somehow found herself swept along by Snekki’s logic. Well, I-I suppose so.

Good! Then, come! Let us be noble souls together!

They moved onward through the gloomy, dappled light. Tall thorn trees tangled overhead. Flint nodules and stark pieces of bone were dotted all through the soil. The choking weight of brambles pressed in around the two explorers. There were no sounds, no wind or cry of birds. The silence became utterly unnerving.

Lael’s hooves clipped against an old, dry skull. She pulled her leg up and away in alarm, but all was well. The centaur crept forward, stepping awkwardly over a snagging tangle of thorns and came up to squat uncomfortably next to Snekki as the woman peered into a clearing just beyond.

A rough passage had been hacked into the side of a dirt mound many decades ago. Several large slabs of rock lay on the ground, covered with soil and weeds. The entrance into the old barrow mound was weathered but still seemed solid. Snekki searched the area carefully, stroking a hand over her chin.

And s.o here we are.

Is this the one you were seeking? Lael kept her voice hushed. You said it was still cursed, or trapped?

Well, it should be the one I want. And apparently, the first explorers left accursed items and traps untouched.

Lael winced. So, why do you wish to enter this particular one?

Well, one man’s curse is another man’s treasure. In this case, quite literally. At least, one hopes so. Snekki rose slowly. Um, can I prevail upon you to carry the lantern? I will need both hands for the crossbow.

Oh! Certainly. Lael reluctantly emerged from cover. Are you quite sure we should be going in?

Absolutely! Snekki lifted back a coil of brambles for the centaur. There’s sure to be a few valuables still in there. An antique or two, a few forgotten coins. We can get you properly kitted out with some spell books in no time!

The plan had merit. Lael found herself becoming more enthused. She settled her bags and bandoleers in place, then followed Snekki out into the open ground.

On closer inspection, the clearing near the barrow mouth was littered with grizzly refuse. There were very old bones, a skull, and something that might have been the jaw of a horse. Weeds jutted from the dirt. The entrance down into the barrow was rough cut, sloping down into the deeps and crudely shored up with bits of old timber. The two explorers crept closer, keeping a sharp eye upon the tunnel.

Loose soil had been scattered out around the tunnel mouth. It almost looked as if some creature had excavated the entrance to make it wider. Snekki knelt to examine some footprints in the dirt.

They were strange prints. Some kind of paws with a pair of pads and a central pair of claws. They were almost the size of Snekki’s palm. Rows of tracks were dotted about the place. Something had meandered around the area, possibly going into the barrow and out again. Snekki prodded at a print in the dirt and tried to decide just how old it might be.

Lael stooped to look closer.

Are these new?

I was hoping you might have an idea. Snekki looked up at the centaur. You know – being a child of the great plains and all.

I mostly dealt with herbs and plants. Lael shrugged expressively. But I can definitely tell you this is not made by a plant.

Which is a comfort. A comfort indeed! Snekki hunkered down again to consider the prints in puzzlement. Is it a wolf?

There are only two toes. More like a camel.

Have to be a very small camel. Snekki waved at the gloomy wilderness of brambles all around. There was a crawl space beneath the thorns, but only a foot or two of clearance at best. Not much of a place for a wolf.

Lael frowned. Pomeranians?

Pomeranians?

Lael brightened. Little lap dogs. Very fluffy! I saw one once. Bred by the blood elves before the Freedom Wars.

Snekki looked up at the centaur. Why would lap dogs be living in a barrow?

Ah, I see your point. Lael risked a peek down into the very dark and uninviting tunnel. There’s no sign of prints in the tunnel.

It might just be passing wildlife. Snekki looked at the tunnel, face bright with excitement. So! We get to be dungeoneers!

Yes indeed. Lael was not normally enthused about dark, enclosed spaces, but the thought of exploring ruins had a great deal of charm. And such places were renowned as storehouses of long-lost knowledge. Right. So, we just…walk down?

Snekki struck a light and lit the lantern. Yes! I’ll go first. Aah, what sort of spells have you got available?

The centaur tied back her hair. A sleeping spell.

Snekki scratched her chin. That might not be wildly useful if we find ourselves facing some sort of undead.

Well, I was more concerned about being attacked by a swarm of crows when I was preparing. I wasn’t actually planning to go anywhere near barrows.

Fair enough. The green girl pondered. Do you have some other means of self-defence?

Lael eagerly brandished a very small, curved knife. I have a pruning knife! And secateurs!

Yes. It might be better if you just kick things. Jolly good hooves you have there.

Snekki tapped at the fox amulet about her neck, touched her forehead, and then blew on her fingers. A faint orange and green-speckled glow shimmered in the aether around her for a moment. She reached out with the palm of one hand, feeling out into the world around them.

I can’t sense any evil. Nothing with evil intent. She scanned the darkness. This spell should last about an hour. That should be more than enough time.

Are undead evil?

Snekki paused and blinked. Um, surely they must be! She took up her crossbow, braced herself, and then edged into the tunnel. Right! Off we go! Onward and downward!

Crossing the threshold into the ancient tomb sent a shiver down Snekki’s spine and her tall ears pricked high. The air was cool and scented with earth and dust. A faint whisper of ancient magic curled past her skin.

They made their way down the narrow tunnel, step by step. The floor was hard old dirt that showed no tracks. Lael stooped and held out the lantern, casting a small, wavering pool of light. Snekki’s large eyes were well-attuned to the gloom. She kept low, crossbow covering the darkness ahead as she felt her way downward.

The rough-cut passageway ended in a hole that had been smashed through a stone wall into a chamber beyond. Snekki kept well back, covering the door with her crossbow. Lael adjusted a lens on the lantern to focus a beam of light. She shone it through the ragged hole and into a dark chamber beyond.

The place looked like the inside of a huge stone beehive, with walls that curved upward to form a pointed dome high above. Broken pots lay scattered on the floor around the walls and an archway seemed to lead deeper into spaces beyond.

All seemed quiet. Snekki reached into a side pocket of her backpack and removed a set of tubes that expanded and locked together to form a sturdy pole. From another pouch, she took a silver mirror and attached it to a fitting at the end of the pole. Carefully extending the mirror on a stick into the room, she examined the areas above and to the sides of the jagged entrance, seeing nothing but a stone wall. Snekki reversed the pole and gently prodded the floor in front of the entry hole. Made from slate laid in irregular slabs, it seemed solid enough.

Snekki withdrew her stick and passed it back to Lael, talking in a whisper. Could you just take care of this for me please?

Certainly. Lael looked at the pole. This is an excellent idea!

Thank you! My own design. One does what one can. It has a few useful attachments. Snekki edged forward to peer into the chamber. Right! Off we trot! Try to follow my path. I shall check for traps.

The goblin girl slipped through and into the stone chamber, keeping the far door covered with her crossbow. She moved forward cautiously, rapping knuckles against the stone flags ahead and finding the floor to be solid. Lael hunched down awkwardly on her forelegs and slithered through the hole. She clambered back up onto all four feet, long tail giving a swish behind her, and looked about the room.

The tall chamber had once been painted with scenes of battle; faded images showed warriors in archaic-looking armour mounted on chariots. Lael’s ears pricked up and she lifted the lantern to make a better examination of the artwork. The warriors seemed human, or perhaps half-elven, probably from the first successor kingdoms after the great Freedom Wars. It seemed the barrow was indeed an old one—nine hundred years at least—from an age where strange elven magics had lain dangerously about. The place might once have been a very valuable find.

The strip of floor that ran from one entrance to the other was suspiciously clear of dust and pottery sherds, while the rest of the room was unkempt, scattered with dust, broken bowls, and what looked like remnants of ancient grave offerings of grain or fruits. As she moved forward to the far doorway, Snekki pointed to a faint mark in the dust by one wall. It was one of the strange two-toed footprints, partly covered by dust and dirt.

The archway into the next room showed a weird flicker of light against stone. Firelight was glimmering somewhere beyond. Snekki signalled Lael to close the shutters on the lantern. They both crept up to the archway and peeked through.

A short stone-lined tunnel led into a space that flickered with a hint of orange-yellow light. They heard no sound, no voices, or echoes. A heavy stone block sat in the centre of the tunnel, apparently, a deadfall trap sprung long ago. A rather flattened skeleton still lay pinned beneath the block. The first expedition here had not been entirely beer and skittles.

There was no sign of movement up ahead. Snekki took charge of the mirror-on-a-stick, pointed forward and signalled for absolute silence. Lael nodded. She flexed her fingers, ready to cast her spell if needed. Snekki signalled her to hang back a moment, then moved carefully into the tunnel.

The goblin moved smoothly, warily skirting the smashed skeleton. She paused at the tunnel exit and peered cautiously out into a great, wide room.

The chamber sent a weird thrill shivering across Snekki’s skin. Lael came clopping up behind, her hoof-falls too loud in the weird silence of the tomb, and they moved quietly out into the room.

This place was grimmer than the outer chamber. The stonework was rough but sharply cut. Torn old hangings showed here and there on the walls, mere stubs long rotted away. Pieces of shattered skeletons lay scattered off to one side of the chamber. Skulls gleamed eerily in the flickering gloom.

Snekki drew out her notebook, opened it, and showed it to Lael. A rough map had been drawn on one page. Snekki tapped at a position on the map.

"I copied this from the archives. So, we must be here. Snekki tilted the page into the light. The old map was pretty rough. But it looks like the stairs over there lead into this big chamber down below, which has two side rooms. One of those was marked as a ‘chariot tomb’. And the other was marked as ‘guardians.’"

Ah. Lael scratched her ear. But the guardians will be gone, I suppose. The old explorers would have handled them?

Apparently yes. They had some fights on their hands. And no luck at all in spotting traps. Snekki ran a finger down her notes on the facing page. Here is a list of what they found. A chest of old elven gold, gems, necklaces, a magical sword. All very obvious loot. And a couple of items of interest that tested positive for curses and so were left behind.

But we want to look at these cursed things?

I need to see them. Snekki was decidedly determined. "In any case, there might be some other interesting leftovers. These people were powerful, but not very bright.’

Mmm. Lael took a closer look at the map. A shaded section covered the floor of the area marked ‘chariot burial.’ What’s this dark part here?

I’m not quite sure. It was shaded on the original map. Snekki frowned. It can’t be too dire. It doesn’t seem to have stopped them from looting the place.

I see. Lael caught a bright glimmer from Snekki’s fingernails. They had all been painted and glossed. I love your nails, by the way. What colour is that? I can’t quite see.

Aah, magenta. It’s from a little store in town, where all the dance gear is sold.

Do you dance?

Yes! At the taverns when I can. Gets some free room and board, at least.

What an excellent idea! Lael had never actually seen a tavern. So, you are a professional dancer!

Snekki wavered a hand. Well, partly. I have sort of an alternative source of income at the moment. Until one of the town guards messed it all up and complained.

That’s unfriendly of them.

Snekki was righteously outraged. I know! Who interferes with someone when they’re on the job? Rude! The goblin girl peered down the steps and drew in a breath. Right. Down we go!

They moved down a broad set of stone steps that descended towards distant, flickering firelight. A few bones littered the steps here and there, always well off to one side. Snekki moved cautiously, looking for slight cracks in the stonework or tell-tale lines that might be pitfalls or triggers to traps, but there was nothing of immediate concern. The centre of the steps was clear – all except for a single little speck halfway down. She raised a hand and had Lael bring up the lantern. The little speck turned out to be a blackberry, dried, but not dried to dust. Snekki cautiously picked the berry up and frowned. She sniffed at it. The berry still had scent.

Lael was trying to tread carefully. The upper reaches of the descending stair shaft were decorated with a rough-cut frieze of skulls, possibly meant to be high elven, given their narrow shape. It was not an uncommon motif for the early kingdoms. Dead high elves were a symbol of freedom. But, clearly, the tomb’s owners had been of a savage inclination. Creatures of a violent age. Lael cleared her throat and followed closely on Snekki’s trail. It definitely felt best to stay close together.

The stair led down, down, a good hundred feet or deeper into the earth. Snekki hunched as the steps levelled out into an antechamber.

Huge gates had once barred the way into the next great hall but had been smashed inwards long ago. Some of the heavy timbers were still intact and had been dragged aside. Red and orange firelight ebbed and flickered through the gaping archway, sending grotesque shadows chasing up the walls.

A band of strange letters had been chiselled into the rock above the arch. Lael, a little nearsighted, peered up at the script and squinted in the flickering light.

Oh, dear. Do we know what this says? My learning only extends to a bit of high elven.

It’s Blood Script. Snekki leaned back and slowly read the inscription.

Behold the tomb of the warlord of the North, founder of cities. He whose throne was built upon the skulls of elves. Kedath, drinker of blood, mighty in battle, claimer of women.

He sounds unpleasant.

The goblin girl made a face. Yes. Well, post-Freedom Wars, vicious times. Lots of people wreaking havoc and building kingdoms, using old, looted magic.

Those were the days. May they never come again. Lael traced a circle about her heart with one thumb. They were a brutal lot. I do hope one of the women got him eventually.

Here’s hoping.

The room beyond the arch was a long, vaulted chamber. A high ceiling towered overhead. Tall columns divided the hall into three long bays. The walls had been painted with dark images of war and slaughter, clashing chariots, battling champions, and blazing magic.

At the far end of the hall sat a great, squat statue. A bloated, muscular figure with a horned head and bared fangs, it squatted cross-legged with its back against the wall. Its hands held a huge, broad, shallow bowl that blazed with flames that lit the entire hallway with a lurid glare.

Several smashed skeletons littered the room, some still holding rusted swords. A few boxes, caskets, and pieces of furniture were gathered near the monstrous statue as if brought there as offerings.

Snekki set down her crossbow and checked the ceiling above the door with her mirror. All seemed well. She turned back to peering wide-eyed out into the eerie space beyond.

No heat from the fire. No smoke. Probably a visual illusion.

Her voice was hushed. Lael stood beside her, feeling awed.

Is this…normal? For a tomb? A dungeon?

Snekki could only shake her head and shrug.

Ah, maybe?

The centaur blinked. So, you haven’t actually been inside one before?

Well, not as such. But I’ve read a few memoirs from people who have. Snekki stood tall. Reading is experience!

Oh, quite so, quite so. Lael made a nervous little sigh. Thank goodness you’re a cleric, though! A warrior for good! An outstanding example of purity.

Snekki coughed. Yes, definitely a cleric when needs must, though I should keep that quiet around town.

Lael frowned.

Why?

People can get some funny ideas, get a little edgy, a little suspicious.

Lael cast a thoughtful eye over her new friend.

What god are we speaking of here?

Snekki was alight with innocence. Oh, a bright star! A font of ideas, the great freer of slaves, destroyers of tyrants, defender of the weak, avenger of injustice! She coughed slightly. Patron of jokes. Protector of gamblers.

Lael’s jaw dropped. A trickster god? You’re a cleric of a trickster god?

Hey! You say, trickster, I say lateral thinker! Sithra the cunning! Fox of the twilight, a dancer at the gates of the dawn. When the great bell is rung, she will have ringside seats and beer! And she’s also incidentally the patron goddess of dungeoneers! Snekki waved a hand to encompass herself and her friend. And we’re now officially dungeoneers! What could be more perfect!

The centaur felt righteously miffed.

I thought it was a legitimate god! We are in a tomb! We might need actual protection!

Hey, she gives protection! Sithra, inventor of the sucker punch! She who loaded the Dice of Fate. Guardian of tomb robbers. That’s not to be sneezed at! Snekki ticked points off on her fingers. There’s direct channelling of divine might—so, that’s your ability to turn undead! You’ve got your divine magic—so, that’s all your healing magic, protection from evil, detection spells, command spells, elemental protection, create food, create water. And hey! I’m filled with scouty goodness! What’s not to love?

The centaur was starting to concede the point. "Well, okay. Yes. I can see there was a plan here."

Snekki was delighted. Of course! Now, let’s take a peek at some ancient secret. Shall we?

Very well. But just do be careful!

Oh! Always! Always! Come along. The goblin girl stepped into the room, keeping an eye on the shadows. Onward and downward!

Ah, yes, onward and downward, Lael followed carefully after. You are a very unusual person.

Why thank you!

Chapter 2

The huge chamber echoed to the sound of Lael’s hooves as the explorers edged forward. Deeper into the hall, they could see more details. The lurid murals on the walls were capped by a ledge that glittered here and there with old bones. Skulls and leg bones, pelvises, and jaws. Some were human, some goblin, and some were orcish. They were scattered rather than lying as whole skeletons. Snekki scanned her spell across the bones, then down into the chamber. She could sense no evil intent, although the place had a prickle about it. There was an unnerving sense of watchfulness as if something was somehow aware of the intruders.

Lael turned about, lantern held high again, checking behind them and keeping an eye on the shelves of old bones.

So, what did the diary thing have to say about the place?

Snekki kept away from the centre of the room, trailing along one wall, and using the mirror pole to prod at flagstones. She scanned repeatedly for telltale cracks in the painted walls that might have been secret doors, pivots, deadfalls, or spell matrixes.

It was supposedly a successful expedition. A team led by someone charmingly named ‘Zarnock the Destroyer’ and a priest of the Trinity. Snekki knelt at the edge of a stone slab that had a faint crack clear of mortar all around it, possibly another deadfall trigger. She gently made a chalk cross on the stone, then ushered Lael away from it. It was all written up in the priest’s memoirs. They came out of here as wealthy men! But they seemed interested only in obvious treasures—gold, gems, weapons.

Lael tilted her head. So, they missed things?

They wanted gold and power. But I think they missed the potential of other things. Snekki led down two more steps, skirting past an ancient burn mark on the floor. At the very least, we might be able to get you started on your collection of magical texts. Plus, there might be some knick-knacks we could sell as antiques. Possibly jugs, jars, carvings.

Oh yes, excellent. Well, thank you for bringing me along.

Girls should help each other! Snekki skirted a column. I love your hair, by the way! And the fluff around your hooves is adorable!

Why thank you. Lael looked at the items clustered close to the horrible statue ahead. It is just me, or is it odd that all that bric-a-brac is in one place?

With its brimming bowl of illusory flames, the statue loomed over the chamber. Closer now, they saw it had huge crystals for eyes, light from the fire bowl glittering in their facets.

It was a strange collection of objects gathered in the well-lit space before the statue. Several large potsherds covered in fragments of ancient script. Some small bowls, an ancient jug, and a plain bronze helmet lay upside down. Snekki moved to check the space behind the huge statue, keeping it covered with her crossbow. Finding nothing, she approached the items set before the idol, sidling obliquely in from behind. Lael followed carefully in her footsteps.

Is it difficult, learning to locate ancient traps?

I just think about what I would do if I was trying to ruin someone’s day. The goblin pointed to the giant crystals in the eyes of the statue. A case in point. Absolute sucker-bait! I see from the scorch marks up there that someone was not as careful as you and I.

Lael looked up and saw what Snekki meant. A shape outlined in black scorch marks high on the wall looked like the outline of a person.

Oh, dear. I see what you mean.

A slight sound came from somewhere in the room. A soft patter. Lael’s ears pricked high. She whipped about, hand held up, ready to cast her spell.

What was that? Are the bones moving? Did they move? Lael swung the lantern beam up to sweep the shelf of bones. That one! Is that in the same place?

Snekki looked up. She listened cautiously, then sniffed at the air. There was a slight, strange scent beyond mere dust and stone. She peered into the helmet in front of the statue and saw it was full of small, dark objects. On closer examination, they proved to be fresh blackberries.

The other items nearby were a varied collection. Alongside the potsherds with their old writing and images were several flat pieces of wood covered with scratch marks, apparently letters and pictures copied from the sherds. One bowl was filled with water. There was also a wizened corpse, a huge rat with a body two feet long. Intact and seemingly almost mummified, its skin was drawn tight over its bones.

Lael kept an eye upon the bone shelf.

Are these offerings? Or has someone been camping here?

Could be offerings. The rat seems an odd choice. Snekki pondered the collection. Unhooking a gourd of rice beer from her belt, she placed it with the other items. Let’s leave something here just in case.

Won’t your god be annoyed? If it’s an offering, I mean.

What? Snekki waved a hand. No, no. She’d never object to precautions! For that matter, she’s rather fond of outright bribery.

The goblin girl carefully peered all around the statue, checking it to make sure it was not hollow. She climbed the idol’s leg, peered down into the flaming bowl in its lap, and waved a hand toward the light.

See, this is what I mean. They wanted gold and weapons and so missed some truly interesting things! She used her mirror to show Lael the inside of the bowl. It held half a dozen egg-sized stones, each of which glowed and flickered like firelight. The light comes from these stones. That’s actually a worthwhile treasure!

Are they protected?

I can’t see anything. Snekki tried to examine the insides of the bowl but was somewhat blinded by the light. The statue isn’t hinged to move. We might be right. We can look into it on the way out. She dusted off her hands, then pointed to two dark archways, one on either side of the statue. Very well. Chariot chamber or guardian chamber? Left or right?

Left, please. The chariot chamber.

A topping choice! Snekki checked that her crossbow bolt was firmly in place. Let’s crack on!

Approaching the left-hand arch, Snekki peered through with her mirror, checking the ceiling and sides of the room, but all seemed well. She next felt gently at the floor just inside the archway, then drew a cross upon it in chalk before stepping cautiously over and around the suspect section of stone.

I should mind the step. Better safe than sorry.

Another beehive chamber with a towering, pointed ceiling. This room was dominated by a great circular sarcophagus, perhaps five yards across. An immense stone lid had been shattered and the pieces dragged aside by the vandals of the previous expedition. Snekki peered into the space within. Inside were the crumbled remains of a war chariot, complete with the bones of a pair of horses. The entire burial was in disarray: apparently, golden fittings had been torn from the magnificent old chariot and its horses. Two chests stood open, and marks showed where other heavy goods had been dragged out.

Ancient burn marks scored the wall. At the centre of the blast marks was a scorched and blasted skeleton clad in melted armour. Snekki’s spell raised no sudden alarms. She added an extra section to her mirror pole and gave the bones a poke, but the skeleton was old and crumbling. The goblin then scanned the room thoughtfully, looking at the walls.

So, here lies Kedath. Looks like he had a few surprises left in him. Snekki moved slowly. We’re looking for a niche, some sort of compartment in the walls. They apparently left items in there that were cursed, or of no use.

Ah. Lael was not wildly enthused about the idea of a curse but looked carefully about the room. I’m not sure the wall structure leaves much space for secret compartments. It is a mutually supporting dome.

Mmm. Snekki tapped warily at the walls with a little crowbar, ear against the rock and listening for echoes. "Apparently, it was in this chamber…’

Oh, found it! Lael was quite pleased. Yes, one niche!

Snekki was delighted. Did you detect it with a magic spell?

No, look. It’s in the burial pit. Round on this side, one of the stones lining the pit is a different colour.

It was indeed. The pit was eight feet deep, floored and lined with stone. In the centre of the inner lining, a single stone had a clear rim around it. Apparently, it could be removed from its place in the wall. Her whole being alive with interest, Snekki flitted over to the edge of the pit. She craned forward, looking at the out-of-place stone.

Right. Keep a watch up here. She frowned. We should get you a staff or some darts or something.

Oh, I was never really much for weapons and things.

They have their uses. Wandering monsters are not to be sneezed at! Snekki slithered down into the chariot pit, landing beside a horse’s crumbling skull. Hi-de-ho! This might be it!

Snekki’s excitement was catching. Lael craned over to watch as the goblin girl checked over the stone, reached into a little sleeve of tools attached at her back, and brought out two flat strips of metal with slight hooks at the end. She slipped them carefully into the cracks around the stone, then pulled them back until she felt them catch. Passing a cord through loops in the metal, she retreated from the wall.

Right. This has already been messed with, so we should be fine. But head down and hold your breath!

Snekki slowly pulled at the cord, sliding the stone out one inch, then a second. Finally, the stone was dragged out of its hole, thudding to the floor with a sound that echoed through the tomb. Lael jumped and pranced a little, shocked by the sudden noise in the silence. It faded only slowly, with a hint of a pattering sound lingering behind.

Down in the pit, Snekki peeked up from where she had ducked into cover behind a pile of old horse bones. She was holding a horse skull as extra shielding. The goblin dusted herself off and clambered forward on all fours, peeking into the little chamber revealed by the stone.

It’s here!

Lael hung her head over the edge of the pit, looking into the chamber upside down. It is?

Yes! It has to be. It has to be. It has to be!

Snekki carefully removed items from the little cubby hole. She found a platter painted in a strange pattern of blotches. Six large gold coins sat atop the platter. Snekki put a cloth over her hand, gently removed the coloured plate, and set it aside. She gasped and reached in with one of her hooks and then drew out a belt studded with seven silver plates.

The belt was somehow still in perfect condition, a tad dusty, but easily cleaned. There was an unusual look to its metal, not normal silver but somehow tainted with a green tinge. The styling was oddly alien. Snekki picked it up and held it in a cloth draped over her hands, utterly enraptured by it. The girl blew on it and held it out. She turned it over, seeing a pattern of flowing elven script on the inside of the plates.

I need this. Snekki could not take her eyes off the belt. We’ll find something good for you. We’ll get you those magic books in town. But I need this.

Snekki was steeling herself, looking as if she was about to wear the belt. Lael twisted herself about, waving a hand to get the goblin’s attention.

Wait, wait, wait, wait! Your diary said that this was cursed?

Aah… Snekki held up the belt, looking at the script behind the plates. It said that cursed objects were left here in the tomb. A belt, some coins…

But cursed?

Only from one point of view. Snekki bowed her head and breathed deeply. She flexed the belt in her hands.

All right. Good. We can do this. It’s what we always wanted. She hefted the belt. Here goes.

The girl wrapped the belt about her waist and clipped it shut. Snekki tensed, expecting something to happen. But there was no detectable flash of magic. Snekki cautiously opened one eye. Lael peered over the edge of the pit, full of concern.

Are you all right? Did something just happen?

Snekki put her hand to her chest, then to her groin. She felt about beneath her skirt for a moment, then bowed her shoulders. She closed her eyes, utterly dejected.

Lael knelt on all fours, feeling anxious.

What just happened?

Nothing. Nothing at all. The goblin girl sighed and took off the belt. I, ah, yes." Struggling to regain her composure, Snekki drew in a breath, straightened her shoulders, and opened her eyes.

Well. Let us make this expedition work for you, my friend. Ah, treasures.

Um. A sensitive creature, Lael was aware that her companion was hurting. Yes. Well, there must be a few things. What about the coins?

Hmm? Oh no, those are definitely bait. They would never have left those behind unless they were bloody dreadful. Probably gives you the head of a stag beetle, or an insatiable need to tell knock-knock jokes. She tossed away the gold coins but looked at the plate with a troubled scowl. Well, this is indecently hideous. But let us bring it along. She awkwardly took off her pack to slip the plate inside. Regarding the belt sadly, she dropped it in with the plate. Ah, well, the belt’s silver, so we can get you a book or so. I’m not sure why they decided to leave the wretched thing behind.

Lael could only shrug.

Is that high elven written on the back? That might be the supposed curse.

I suppose so. Snekki was deeply dejected but clasped her hands together and tried to appear bright. Right! Can you give me a hand? Let’s go find some goodies!

Lael reached down and caught Snekki by the hand. She hauled the girl up and out of the pit without much difficulty. Snekki was a spry creature, and Lael was no fainting heart. The centaur dusted off her companion and looked her over in concern.

You’re certain all is well?

Yes. Everything’s just as always. Spiffy. Snekki shouldered her backpack and picked up the crossbow. Right. Perhaps, we should try the remaining chamber.

Agreed. Come along then.

They made their way back across the chariot chamber then Snekki peered into the main chamber beyond, crossbow ever at the ready. All was well. The two companions emerged into the temple and stood looking over the huge, bestial statue with its flickering bowl of flames.

Snekki thoughtfully walked over and climbed up once more onto one of the statue’s crossed legs, peering down into the bowl of glowing stones. She attached a plumb bob to her mirror stick and used it like a fishing line, keeping it covered below the lip of the bowl and using the weight to bump and prod at the glowing stones. Nothing blasted, exploded, set off sheets of lightning or rains of fire. Peering over the edge of the bowl again, Snekki then poked the glow stones carefully with her stick.

"Well, it looks all right. No glyphs, traps, or triggers. I think they might be jolly useful!"

The centaur stood before the strange collection of offerings in front of the statue. Fists planted thoughtfully upon her hips, she frowned down at the collection of bowls and gourds.

Snekki? The rice beer has changed position.

Snekki cocked one brow. What?

The container you left here has moved. The centaur girl bent down, hair swishing as she looked more closely. It’s empty. Someone’s drunk the stuff!

The goblin flicked a glance at the statue’s mouth. It seemed dry. A creature of that scale would have needed a beer mug bigger than a bathtub in any case. Snekki glanced over the rest of the room, trying to see if any darker shadows were lurking behind the columns, but saw nothing suspicious. The floor seemed undisturbed, but hairs prickled on the back of her green neck.

Snekki slid quietly back down to the floor, then knelt beside the gourd that had held the rice beer. The beer was gone – all save a few small drops. Snekki frowned, and then, Lael gave a polite little cough from above.

Snekki, don’t move. The centaur kept her voice soft, trying to sound entirely cheerful. There is a foot.

A what?

A foot! A sort of furry foot. Lael was trying not to look and wore an utterly false smile. Her whisper became strained. Up on the ledge to the left of the chariot tomb door.

A furred foot about the size of Snekki’s palm was just peeking over the edge of the rock shelf that ran high about the room. The foot was divided into two elegant toes, each with a little claw. The foot stealthily slid back out of view, sensing that it had been seen, in a move that fooled absolutely no one.

The two women stared at the rock shelf, then edged quietly away. Snekki cleared her throat and whispered to her friend.

Let’s just carefully get into some cover. No reason to panic.

Something peeked over the edge of the ledge. A big pair of dark eyes glimmered in the dark. There was a pattering noise, little footsteps made with fine, soft feet, and then the creature peeked more cautiously into view.

It was a spider. The creature had a body easily five feet long, with great long agile legs covered in silky fur. Its feet all had claws and a pair of furry toes—clearly, the source of the tracks outside the barrow. The hair all over Lael’s pelt immediately stood on end.

Oh, dear!

Lael and Snekki nervously crept backwards. The goblin leaned over to whisper in Lael’s ear.

Sleep spells work on spiders, yes?

Aaah, I’m not sure. Do spiders sleep?

Is that required?

I don’t know! I never fired a sleep spell at anybody who didn’t normally sleep! Lael tried to think about the footnotes she had read. Actually, I haven’t fired a sleep spell at anybody.

What? Snekki was appalled. You’ve never even tested it to see if it works?

Well, that would be irresponsible!

Oh, bloody hell! Snekki put herself in front of Lael and hefted her crossbow. Right. Back away. Just sloooowly move back.

The spider kept itself in cover, bobbing up to peer at them with large, bright eyes, then came out more fully into view. It was a spry beast, grey with black markings and long, powerful legs. Lael’s hind hooves shied a little, and her tail swished nervously.

Oooooh! Oh, my gods! It’s enormous!

Never fear! It’s just a spider. Snekki kept edging away. You should never mind an honest spider! It, ah, probably just decided to move in here to avoid predators.

Lael goggled. What? Out there in the brambles? What in the name of the gods would predate upon that?

Deadly swarms of giant wasps?

You are not helping! Lael kept edging