Bogus Business Unlimited

By Yvonne Toner

YIKES! Ever heard of a green fashion and beauty monster, Wicked Witch of All things East, who lives at the end of The Great Rainbow? Who flies a turbo broomstick with a sidecar and who hasn’t passed her broomstick test? Well, believe it or not, unfortunately there is one of those that exists. By the name of Verruca. And that isn’t the same thing as on your foot, though she has a similar ouchy affect on anyone who goes near her, sort of contagious. She has even managed to worm herself into dizzy heights of Director of Bogus Business, a Division of Maggoty Grub Apples Incorporated. Rotten at it’s core, and run by a virus, yup, that’s what I said, Virus, who is CEO, shall we say a few slices short of a full apple pie, runs the rickety corporation.

Open for business, and when I say open, I mean open to anything on the crookometer scale, Sir Virus Twonk sends the Witch and her crew off on a mission on the Blue Line of The Great Rainbow to look at dealing in some stolen wares in the hands of a robbing cabbage. Things are going reasonably well, by Bogus team standards, until they are captured by winkle pirates who want gold, who want “tweasure”. As she tries to claw out of this mess, they soon discover their business purchase isn't all it seems. GURGLE. RUMBLE. GUSH! Looks like they're in another stinky mess.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd
• Release date: Nov 2, 2020
• ISBN: 9781800467163

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Bogus Business Unlimited

Yvonne Toner

Copyright © 2020 Yvonne Toner

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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ISBN 9781800467163

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Thank you to all starseed travellers, sorcerers, sorceresses, witches, wizards, and mystical entities for enlightening me to rainbow worlds that bridge interuniversal space.

For Josie

Contents

1.The Introductory Bit

2.The Tale of The Raining Winkles Story

3.The Bogus Lot

4.Down the Shoot

5.Broom-Surfing Over the Rainbow

6.Cabbagey Business

7.Winkleys and Wrinkleys

8.Mucky Money

9.Toilet Piddle Potions

10.Bogus Bungling Baffoons

1

The Introductory Bit

Toad, Ms Verruca Dumper, Ballbag and Sir Fungal Virus Twonk, lived in The Golden Valley of Jingly Pots, a faraway land somewhere at the end of The Great Rainbow. That’s the same one we call the rainbow in the sky.

An Old Wives’ Tale from many moons ago (which is a very long time) still tells the story of a few brave souls who ventured to the end of the sea, to find out if life existed there. The story has been told time and time again under twinkling starry night skies. It became known as ‘The Raining Winkles Story’.

Only one brave soul lived to tell the tale of their findings due to such a treacherous voyage. Brave Soul wrote down everything he had learned and posted the message in a bottle, though Brave Soul himself never returned. The message in the bottle washed up on the shores on the South Coast of England, Planet Earth, and the tale has been told ever since, although the bottle and note vanished forever.

2

The Tale of The Raining Winkles Story

One day this old man was out in his little fishing boat in The Sea of Halibut, when he was captured by sea pirates