Walking in a New Light: From Powerless to Purposeful … One Step at a Time

By Tessa Wright

Freedom is a choice. And its our right. Many of us live in free and democratic nations, yet hold ourselves captive within the limited perception created by our beliefs. Freedom is a divine gift from our creator, but it is one that many are unable to embrace because of the limitations weve placed on the human experience.

Walking in a New Light details a spiritual journey toward a less restricted life. Wisdom and insights revealed in the course of a genuine search provide the key to releasing mysteries previously hidden. Th rough changes in perception come the much-needed changes in reality. This story, which allows the reader to enter the unique and troubling circumstances of another through the mindful art of journaling, provides lessons and opportunities to promote growth and understanding. Here is proof that a willing heart that seeks healing and change for self first has the potential to heal many, and can therefore create the change we all wish to see.

We all experience life as a journey, but when we become aware of our own potential, power and purpose, we have an opportunity to create the circumstances that make for a kinder and more beautiful existence. Walking as one, we become one. This union unlocks the door that holds us captive, and reveals the true meaning of freedom and peace.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Feb 20, 2013
• ISBN: 9781452508610

Tessa Wright

  TESSA WRIGHT lives in Townsville Australia, with three of her nine children. She believes that the possibility to heal many souls begins with the healing of just one. By sharing her story she hopes to encourage people to release their captivity mindset and bask in the radiance that life has to offer.   Visit her online at www.thebaskapproach.com.

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Copyright © 2013 Tessa Wright

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Balboa Press rev. date: 2/6/2013

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Foundations

Journal Entries

Miracles

Bibliography

The Bask Approach

This book is for everyone held captive by limitation.

May these words open your heart to the possibility that

captivity is merely a state of mind.

"I may not have gone where I intended to go,

But I think I have ended up where I needed to be."

—Douglas Adams,

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

Preface

Every good fairytale has a beginning, and a happily ever after ending but I can’t necessarily guarantee the latter.

Because there are so many wonderful books available, written by teachers with advanced knowledge, and offering direction and advice, I choose to take a different approach and offer a story based on experience and then allow the reader to make of it what they choose. I am no more than the teller of this tale, and the events of my life form the fabric that is woven together, layer upon layer, in the hope of creating something outstanding. For some time now, the thoughts and beliefs I’ve carried forward from childhood, have directed the creating of my life. At some point along the way, the patchwork quilt of experiences became unstitched and the consequences of living life as ‘broken’ are contained in this story. God is in the process of stitching me back together for I am a woman who has become unraveled.

Each step of this journey is recorded as it is lived, and therefore it may appear somber and disjointed at first. The opening pages are painful introductions of experience. The role of time has no real purpose in the events of the story except to help us align with the reality we understand. The dates that appear on the pages are mainly references to relate the passing of each day. This is a story that grows. One day something beautiful becomes apparent when previously, there was nothing.

True storytelling is a form of art. Once a practiced method in the passing down of wisdom, knowledge, and history, from elders to children, it now resides in the hands of a creative few who use it freely to promote the message of their choice. Many stories are beneficial, but some are not. My intention is to use this opportunity to weave a tale from experience, create an adventure and unearth hidden treasure. As a parent of many, and having lived many years within this role, I’m familiar with the path any good tale must take, but at this stage of the story, I am as unaware as you are of how it will end. I believe that the story is already created. What I must do now is simply to remember it. Spirit leads me forth.

Journal writing, like storytelling, is an age-old tradition and has become quite popular in the past few decades, so I’ve chosen this deeply personal and insightful approach to be the blueprint of this story. It’s easier to read and easier to write and can fit tidily in the small frame of time we now allow ourselves for reflection.

When you read through the accounts related in this story, I’m asking you not to judge, but instead, to open your mind and heart to your own personal experiences and relate them to your own life. This book is about collective encouragement. It’s about creating change individually, so that together we can create a better world.

Acknowledgements

How do you thank someone through the simple use of words for saving your life and offering a second chance?

I live today because of the time and effort of others. These people don’t know me. They’ve never met me. I’m obscure because I blend into the majority of the human race, falling into the category of no-one in particular. I have no letters after my name, no great academic success, no particular talents, and no great wealth. But the little I do have I choose to share, believing that God created me for this purpose. Therefore, I take my lamp (my experiences) from beneath the bowl (obscurity), and allow it to create my story and spread light to whoever may need it. (Matthew 5:15)

Many of the ideas and theories that I’ve implemented into my circumstances are based on the insights of others, so I make no claims to originality. Wisdom is the currency I choose to trade, and as it has come to me freely so I choose to give of it freely. Gratitude to those who have led me to this place is imperative.

Below is a list of all of the blessed writers who have given, so that I may be healed. If like I was, you are dying to the desire to live, I encourage you to explore and attempt to implement (true success requires the two go hand in hand) the advice of the following greats.

Neale Donald Walsch—Conversations with God trilogy. Thank you for providing a spiritual alternative that fulfilled my soul’s yearning.

Louise Hay—You Can Heal Your Life. Thank you for teaching me self-worth and showing me how to love myself when I believed I was unlovable.

Rhonda Byrne—The Secret, The Power, and The Magic. Thank you for introducing me to the world of law and attraction and opening my eyes to new possibilities.

Dr. Wayne Dyer—Excuses Be Gone, and The Power of Intention. Thank you for helping me to see with clarity the reasons for where I was, and then showing me a route to where I wanted to go. I can’t wait to explore more of your written work.

Mike Dooley—Infinite Possibilities. Thank you for teaching me that it’s ok to desire a good life and that, in fact, this is what The Universe wants for us. Thank you for making me smile each day as I receive TUT inspirations!

Brandon Bays—The Journey, and Freedom Is. Thank you for inspiring me to delve deeper. Your courage paved a way for me to fearlessly explore what was hidden beneath.

Carmen Harra—The Eleven Eternal Principles. Thank you for opening my mind to new ways of thinking, and for introducing me to different spiritual philosophies.

Dr. John Demartini—The Gratitude Effect. Thank you for changing my perspective from one centered on complaint to one bathed in thanks.

Melody Beattie—Co-dependent No More, and Make Miracles in Forty Days. Thank you for helping me to understand my nature and where it hasn’t served me in the past. Thank you for showing me how to take what I have and create what I want.

Sarah Ban Breathnach—Simple Abundance. This book came to me by chance and in the very early days of separation. Thank you for helping me to know myself through your daily advice and inspirations.

Gary Gustav—Spiritual Partnerships. Thank you for showing me that who I am as a multi-sensory individual is OK, and encouraging me to seek a spiritual partner to complement me instead of seeking someone to complete me.

James Redfield—The Celestine Prophecy series. Thank you for taking my new perceptions on an adventure.

Elizabeth Gilbert—Eat, Pray, Love. Thank you for sharing your experiences with me, and for helping me to see that life is a journey that we all take. What we make of it creates our unique story.

There are many other authors whom I’ve read and whom I still wish to read who offer the opportunity to heal and to grow. There is still so much to learn and so much more that can be passed through wisdom. I thank you all.

Another person I wish to acknowledge is my friend and editor Yolande McLean. This woman came into my life when all doors appeared closed and this book was about to become another unfinished project like the many that had come before. For me, her true gift was the confidence she gave me. Through her tireless coaching and extreme patience she helped create a woman who could hold the worth of her words in her hands. Because of her I can now offer this beautiful gift to others.

I’ve left the greatest for last.

My dearest friend. My Lord, My God, The Universe, The Source. All that is and All That Was. To think that I used to label You and limit You. I’m sorry that I believed You were meant to fit into my miniscule perception. All those years spent searching when all along, You Were.

Thank you for keeping me alive long enough to remember my purpose and for allowing me to help heal the world. Thank you for creating me as who I Am: With You, in You, and as You.

Introduction

This book began as a seed. Just as a child, it was conceived through desire; deep desire. For some months it consumed my every thought, my every prayer, and my most passionate intentions. Then I let it go. I forgot all about it as life took on a new mode of survival.

God explains in Isaiah 49:15-16 that even if a mother forgets the child at her breast, the one she has conceived, He will never forget. We are engraved on the palm of His hand. This story is divinely inspired. Why? Because it is the story of a woman whose name is carved into the hand of God.

While I was sleeping, God was nurturing this story, lovingly (at)tending it until I awoke and recorded it once more. The human perspective, even a newly formed one, can be so very fickle. Because I saw no immediate benefits, my former creation was released from my busy agenda while I focused on establishing an alternate life. As a mother, I find this very difficult to admit. How many other times in my life have I forgotten a precious union because I was caught up in a reality which was more demanding? There is a beautiful children’s book by author Mem Fox, which describes the effect on a child when they believe they’ve been forgotten. It’s written more for the parent than the child, gently reminding one of the importance of connection. This book that you now hold in your hands, and the story it contains, is not a child, but it is definitely a precious creation of the heart, mind and soul. During my two-year intermission, I may have forgotten my connection to these words; but God didn’t.

Nine months is a long time to be pregnant. Ask any woman who’s carrying. The time between conception and birth is eternity. Until it’s not. In hindsight, it goes by in the blink of an eye. The two-year gestational period of this book feels the same way, but I know that in a very short time, it will not.

As a woman nears her due date, pain and discomfort are ever-present reminders that life is soon to be birthed. Having given birth on nine separate occasions means that I’m familiar with the miracle that is creation. It is an honor to play this role and watch God’s intention unfold; I view the experience as necessary, despite the labor involved. Like a determined soul about to be brought forth in human form, this book has no intention of being halted.

At present, I am experiencing the symptoms of an imminent birth. The familiarity makes me want to retract my position, to run and to hide. I’m scared and lack the confidence that’s needed for such a task. Insecurity plagues me. But the experienced woman that I am calms my anxiety, wipes my brow, and assures me that all is well. God’s midwifery experience is absolute.

Today I am weary, as the process of birthing this book seems to be beyond what I’m capable of. I also know that when I believe I have nothing more to give, and then proceed to give anyway, an opening appears and the process goes on. The laboring woman reaches a similar stage; a time where she is exhausted and ready to surrender, it is called transition. Every step of the process is necessary and serves a greater purpose, allowing God’s will to take over.

There is a purpose to the words in the following text that defy human expression. God knows more thoroughly than I the potential imprint it can leave on any number of hearts; as the author, I can only hazard a guess at what His true purpose is, but it’s my deepest hope that it encourages the desire to look within.

This book, now published in its divine perfection, is broken into three distinct areas. The first is background material, allowing the reader to gain insight by walking in the shoes of another. This section creates the foundation that supports the journal entries, and then leads forth to the development and decoration of new life.

The second section is a three-month journey recorded for its example, and outlines the potential for growth. Beginning with the soulful discourse of a woman whose constant companion was the grim reaper of depression, and ending with the newly raised body, mind, and spirit, it is proof that even today God still does for us what he did for his son. Once we choose, He gives life where there was none. The tone also follows a distinct path, and creates a song to accompany each human emotion. This section of the book has the ability to open eyes, open hearts, and open doors to the greatness that is buried within each of us. It offers hope for the victim, courage for the fearful, strength for the weak, and love for the hard-hearted, and is an expression of God’s hand at work.

The third and final segment of this book is the miracle revealed.

Each section of this book serves its purpose and shows that we are all capable of taking the needed steps from being powerless to being purposeful. I was the willing student to become the example and Life has used me.

There’s a saying by Anita Roddick that gives me the needed courage to take my small-minded approach to great levels, If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room. I think God views my attributes as similar. I may be small in the whole scheme of life, but I have the potential to make an impact on the world.

It’s my prayerful hope that as you journey with me, the gift of wisdom takes hold in your heart.

Yours lovingly,

Tessa Wright

Part 1

Foundations

image003.jpg

Welcome to my life

WANTED:

Complete strangers to accompany a 45-year-old, Australian wife and mother of nine on the journey of a lifetime.

All expenses paid by me in blood, sweat and tears.

Guaranteed to make you laugh, cry and ponder life’s meaning.

Guaranteed to heal your heart, challenge your mind and rejuvenate your soul.

No experience is necessary, but

Compassion and understanding is a must.

Travel dates are completely flexible.

Interested parties please apply by reading the following pages.

Only after this will the journey truly begin.

For both of us.

For it will be through you that I will have the chance to live and create myself anew.

The life I lead now has happened according to my past thoughts and choices. Responsibility is a much harder pill to swallow than blame. In some ways, I wish I could return to my Christian beliefs where I could opt for the excuse of being in the hands of Almighty will, but this newfound belief has sown itself in the folds of my soul and given birth to new views. I probably wouldn’t have survived much longer. With the passing of each year, another without identifying my connection and my purpose, it felt like my soul was being drawn back to the only place of comfort and release I knew. Life was often more than I could bear, and although I didn’t understand the spiritual longing I felt, I subconsciously believed that suicide would take me home. Being exposed to a new perspective is amazingly exciting, but I also feel incredibly vulnerable. I’m seeing the world in a whole new way and I’m eager to explore its unlimited possibilities, but the what ifs haven’t been fully dispelled. I never imagined that I could leave the security of my self-limiting behavior, nor escape from the bars that held me captive. I never imagined that I could be more than I was. Quite honestly, the thought never crossed my mind.

I’m not an object of obscurity as one might imagine an average woman to be. I’ve lived an intense life with ample highs and too many lows. But here I am, standing on the threshold of self-discovery and experiencing the meaning of a ‘mid-life crisis.’ For me, it’s time to stand up and grow up; but I’m grieving at present. I’m angry, hurt and annoyed that it’s taken me near on half a century to learn the truth. I’m grieving for who I thought I was supposed to be, when all along I could’ve given up the fight and surrendered to who I was created to be. The distortion in my own belief began some time ago. So far, the journey hasn’t been much fun, and changing my self-perception is proving to be a continual challenge. But here I am, eager and willing to unearth the truth of my existence in the slim chance of discovering a new me in the folds of a different belief. To say that what I’m doing is unimportant would be to discredit what I am being. I’m writing a story in which I am both the storyteller and the main character; therefore, I must be the experience in order to relate the experience. In the words of a spiritual master, words help us to understand something, but experience allows us to know it (Walsch, 1997). May you be blessed by the story of my experiences.

Bear with me a few moments while I introduce you to the elements of my existence. As we are partners on this journey, it’s worth knowing just who you’re traveling with. The choice is yours whether to travel the distance beside me, and at this stage there’s no guarantee it’s going to be fun.

As a child my life was boring. I had one older brother, created in a different decade. Sibling rivalry was never an issue. My parents were wealthy and happily married when I came along: the product of many years of trying to have a child with no success. Little was known, or discussed, in regard to such an intensely private problem, and as devout Catholics my mother and father had faith in God’s timing or divine punishment, depending on which way you chose to see something. When I was growing up there was no such thing as denial. It was believed that money could produce a happy child, and instead of remembering fairytales and fables, I have memories of discussions relating to trust funds and tax deductions. According to what I’ve been told, it wasn’t always like that. I just happened to come along when life was good By fifteen I’d traveled the world more times than I could remember. I’d visited churches of every denomination and era, and eaten in restaurants with names I could not pronounce. Despite the fact that I was often told just how lucky I was, how truly privileged I was, I never felt that way. These were my experiences, but they didn’t define me, so I was left feeling as though I’d missed something important. I just couldn’t put my youthful finger on it; not that at fifteen you understand what it is. It was only when I was among the poor and the suffering, the downtrodden and the pitiful that I felt truly stirred. It was within these experiences that I felt alive, worthwhile, understood. I could relate in some unspoken way that I never could within the family that formed my own reality.

At sixteen I had a very blasé attitude of ‘been there, done that,’ and felt as though I’d seen far too much too soon, so when I met a boy who opened up new and exciting opportunities, I fell head over heels in love. We were married just after my eighteenth birthday with our first child well developed within the womb. Our engagement gift was an overseas trip, and our wedding gift, a hefty deposit on our first home. Could it get any easier? Well, I guess it depends on how you view the experience.

The high was rapidly becoming a low sometime during the second pregnancy. Neither of us looked too hard at why, because at that age who really wants to see? By baby number three, coming just three years after baby number one, the signs were evident, yet the ditch we’d dug for ourselves was becoming increasingly deeper with each child. What do you do when you’re young and unsure of all you’re sensing? You move away from the reality and choose instead to live in a world of denial. I chose not to see my husband’s interest in others and misguidedly believed that if I could just try harder it would be OK. It makes me incredibly sad to realize that as I sit here and write these words more than two decades on, I still struggle with the belief that I’m just not good enough. This still remains my greatest challenge.

Don’t fear dear reader; I won’t reinvent each and every event of my past before I begin, but I must advise you of some important facts before you tick the ‘I agree’ box and move into our shared space.

As a child I was sexually abused by both genders, and this may account for my disassociation with reality. I have been identified as bipolar, a mental illness that attributes to manic highs and suicidal lows. Some time ago, I was imprisoned for a crime I cannot remember committing, and this fostered an even greater sense of separation from self, family and society. To this day, I’m troubled by the possibility of the how and why it happened, and still have no recollection of the actual events. Since then, I’ve undergone treatment and counseling and these opportunities have shed great insight on possible reasons why this happened, but the how remains a mystery. I once began a book titled when good people do bad things in a bid to find the answers to my own questions. Like many other failed attempts, it remains as a half-completed project; therefore I am no wiser than before. The effect of my past actions, a split second’s worth in the entirety of my life, punctuates my days with a before-prison and after-prison approach. Many people believe that prison is punishment, but really the true punishment is further separation. I was separated from my children for eight long and painful months. True rehabilitation comes with believing we are connected. But this belief is only newly acquired; therefore shame and guilt have accompanied me since that time. But like everything, the experience served a purpose. To this day, I still can’t fathom all that led me to such a state of despair, but over the years I’ve come to understand the elements involved and this has been beneficial. This time of such intense bewilderment and pain was not in alignment with who I truly am, and if I view it within my new truth then I can most assuredly say that I am blessed in such an experience of knowing this. Now I can travel with confidence to who I am, and who I wish to be. I can’t change my past, but I can choose to change my future.

My mothering years have been abundantly beautiful. I was created for this purpose. Until recently, I was totally dedicated to this career of choice. We must never believe for a moment that being a mother requires