The Hurt Behind the Smile

By Melonie D. Forest

When Marissa met Ben she thought he was her knight in shining armor. But as time went by she learned that he was a wolf in sheeps clothing. After finding out about another woman name Kim she finds comfort in the arms of other men trying to fill the hole in her heart while still riding an emotional yet sexual roller coaster with him. Wanting to be loved and understood she sets out to tell her side of their relationship to his mother trying to make her understand why she made the choices she did.

Author Melonie D. Forest takes you into a world of sex, lies, betrayal and how easy you can be blinded by love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 19, 2012
• ISBN: 9781468581416

Melonie D. Forest

Melonie D. Forest lives in Providence North Carolina. Growing up in a city called Danville Virginia, she always dreamed of becoming a writer. She enjoys writing, singing and spending time with her children. She graduated from George Washington High School and is currently enrolled in Liberty University to obtain an Associates Degree in Early Child Care. She is a risk taker and she lives by the motto: Always be True To Yourself Or No One Will Be True To You.

Book preview

Chapter 1

The Truth Shall Set You Free

I never thought that I would end up in so much drama dealing with Ben. Everything in the beginning was so good between us. I just knew that we would be together forever, but eventually I learned that my life with him was not a fairytale anymore it became a nightmare. Now he has his parents thinking that I am a trouble maker and everybody else thinks that I am crazy. Well today is the day that I tell my side of the story. I’m going to sit down and write his mother a letter about our relationship and how it went from sugar to shit and how it has turned me into an angry black woman.

Dear Mrs. Henderson

I feel that from the beginning of me and your son’s relationship I never really got the chance to know who you were and you never got to know the real me. When I began dating Ben my son was about two months old. He really helped me to get through some difficult times in my life back then. I was a teenager with no experience as far as taking care of a baby, but when he came around he would make me laugh and things would seem better. This went on for a while and as I stated before we ended up in a relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. About a month into our relationship he started to change on me. He began hanging out with some guys name Kevin, Aaron and Michael. Well I told him he needed to stop hanging with them but Ben being head strong he didn’t listen to me. One particular night he went out with them they ended up wrecking his car and led the police in a high speed chase. Before that incident happen, I had become pregnant with his first child which I aborted in March of 97, I told no one this being that my son was only four months old.

Getting back to the car incident, as you know it landed Ben in jail and when he was released he was put on house arrest. The whole time of his house arrest I stuck by him trying to make him feel better and let him know that he wasn’t alone. After his house arrest was over I moved out of my grandmothers and into my own place in Uptown Village. The problems between us weren’t to bad but not all that good either. I got a job at Boca Bank on June the 14th. I really liked the job because I love dealing with money and I like to wear casual clothing. One morning I woke up and I was bleeding real heavy, I thought that it was my period but I found out that I was pregnant again. On July 13th I lost my second child by him. He was mad at first but then we both knew that it just wasn’t meant to be. On occasional weekends I started going out with some of my friends just to get out the house and of course Ben would be upset. I figured he forgot how he use to stay out and didn’t come in until the wee hours of the morning. One day while I was sitting outside with my girls, this guy came over to us and told me that Ben was around the corner at his ex-girls house name Sharon. I could not believe that he had creeped his ass around the corner from where I lived to be with that bitch. Of course me being who I am went around the corner to see for myself, but that nigga must have felt me coming because he was already gone. By the time I got back up the street he was sitting on my front porch. Before I knew it I had smacked the shit out his ass. What the fuck Marissa? He yelled. Don’t what the fuck me, why were you at Sharon’s house motherfucker? Look I don’t know what you are talking about and besides that you don’t put your got damn hands on me. I will put my hands on you if I want to mother fucker, who the fuck you think you trying to play, cause it show as hell not going be me! Im outta here, I don’t have time for your shit Marissa. Get the fuck on then, and don’t come back. I got something for that ass, he then he slick but I am slicker. We ended up breaking up for about a week or so after that. During the time of our split I started seeing an old friend of mine name Maurice. This was the first time I had been with another guy since I had started dating Ben. Even though I knew we were broken up in some way I felt like I was cheating on him because I knew we would get back together eventually and we did.

Before we got back together I felt like I needed to be honest with him. I told him what I had done during the week of our break up and you know he went the hell off. I told him because I felt like he deserved the chance to make the choice on his own if he wanted to get back with me or not. After we talked and after he finishing cursing me out about sleeping with another guy, he chose to stay and work things out. Things between us seem to have been getting better. We didn’t argue and fight as much and he would always write me what he would call Feel Good Letters that he would give to me every morning before I left for work. They were so sweet; all I could do was smile all day at work. It went on like that for a while until the night he had borrowed your car and it was carjacked.

That day we had gone to this spot where everybody go on Sundays just to chill and checkout peoples cars and motorcycles. Everybody was feeling good, the sun was shining and it was just enough wind for you to feel relaxed. Before we left some girls had pulled up on the side of the car where me and Ben was standing talking and just stared at us. When I asked them what the fuck they looking at they laughed and sped off. I turned and asked him who the fuck were they but of course he said he didn’t know. I was like yea whatever. So we left and we stopped by the house so I can change clothes because I knew we were going to ride to River view and I wanted to be prepared just in case I saw those bitches again and they wanted to pop off I would be dressed to whip ass. While getting changed Ben comes up the stairs saying that my neighbor Bryan wanted a ride to the store. No Ben wait I will only be a second I said. Come on Marissa I will be right back Marshall can even ride with me. No he staying here with me just hurry up. I’m still getting ready when my phone ring. Hello. Marissa this Bryan we just got robbed and they took the car. Stop playing so damn much and tell Ben I said come the fuck on. I’m serious we gave some dude yo boy said he met before a ride and when we turned the corner he pulled out a gun told us to give him our jewelry and get the fuck out. All I know we did what he said and when we got out the motherfucker started shooting. I went one way and Ben went another. Oh My God! Is Ben ok? Where is he? What the fuck? Next thing I heard was gun shots I dropped the phone and me and one of my home girls went running in the direction where we heard the shots. When we got to the end of the street I saw a cop car in front of the store where Ben was suppose to take Bryan. When we get to the store I see my baby standing right in front of me talking to the officer. I ran up and hugged him so tight. The officer had asked what was in the car and I let him know my baby bag and my purse with my keys to my house, my grandmothers house, keys to my car and keys to the bank I worked at was in it. The cop instructed me to call my boss and let him know what happen so they could do what they needed to do when shit like this occur. I called the manager of the bank and he said that he would get someone on it immediately. I was scared to stay at the apartment not knowing if the guy knew where we lived or what and could get into my place at anytime because he had my keys. I called my sons grandpa to come pick him up so that he could stay with them until I figured out if I wanted to get the locks changed on my doors at the apartment or just move all together. You and Mr. Henderson opened up your doors to me for two weeks. In that time I got a loan for five grand, which I had to ask my mother to co-sign for being that my credit alone, would not work. She was hesitant at first but I guess she got tired of me begging her to do it, that she gave in. Ben and I found a Town House on the out skirts of the city and they wanted 1100 in all for the down payment which was fine because it was so beautiful. Then I went and paid off Ben’s car that had been wrecked so he wouldn’t have a judgment on his credit and then replaced the jewelry that was taken in the carjacking. The day that we moved I felt a sense of peace, I was feeling that this new move would be a fresh start for us and maybe our relationship would be better now that we were not around a lot of our friends.

Chapter 2

Betrayal Of A Best Friend

Thinking that I still had my job at the bank, I knew I could handle the loan payments without any problem. Ben said that we could split everything fifty/fifty since we were both working. He had let my mom know when she co-signed for the loan that she would not have to worry about it not being paid he was going to help me with that because she had already let us know that she was not financially able to help with any of the payment at all and that she only co-signed because she knew I wanted to move and I didn’t have any money for a deposit. Well needless to say I lost my job at the bank within two months of us moving into the townhouse. I was taking my last customer before my lunch break when my boss came to my desk and stated that I had a meeting at the main office of the bank during my break. So of course I am thinking that I was ready to get a raise since my name plate for my teller station had just come in. When I entered the bank it felt like all eyes were on me. The president of the bank waved me into his office. The look on his face told me I wasn’t down there for a raise. He looked at me and said I am sorry but we have to let you go. What do you mean sir that you are letting me go? You are firing me? On what grounds? Miss O’Ney please calm down don’t make a scene. Look just tell me what have I done. The night you called me and told me that your purse was inside a car that was stolen, I had to call a locksmith to change not just the bank you were working at but to all our banks the locks. That cost us a lot of money that we should not have had to spend. Further more you have not been working here that long and how do we know that you wasn’t trying to have us robbed, not saying that you had anything to do with it but that’s just not a risk that we are willing to take with you. Please give me your keys and leave. What the fuck! This cannot be happening right now. I got the loan to pay, we have rent, and light bill and groceries have to be bought. I threw the keys and left before they would have had to call the police on me for beaten his ass. From that day on I knew that things were not going to get any better. All the stress that Ben was put under because of all the bills he now had to pay on his own led him to take his frustrations out on me. With the help of some of his friends he was able to pay the rent from December to March of the following year. Since we had let the landlord know that we would be moving after our six month lease was up he said that we wouldn’t have to pay for the last month he would just take it out of our deposit.

While living at the townhouse I did not find a job. When I did go job hunting every place I went to would always say that they were not hiring at the time and that they would keep my application on file for 60days and call me if they had any openings. I never received a phone call and when I called them or went in person to check on my application they would say the position has already been filled. Even though I wasn’t working a job that got paid I was keeping the house clean, washing clothes and cooking. Whenever we ran low on food I would call Ben’s parents or my mom and they would help us out as much as they could. I had a best friend name Kasey that would come over and stay with us on the weekends sometimes because she just wanted to get away from home occasionally. I met Ben through her and a guy name James that she was going out with at the time. I didn’t mind her coming over we had been friends since elementary school and my son’s room had an extra bed in there that she could sleep in. No harm done right, because we were all friends and I trusted her around my man and in our home. It ended up being a terrible mistake in the long run.

One night Ben, Kasey, my sister Cassandra and I went over to Donna and Lewis’s house for a get together and we all had something to drink. Well when we got home I