The Effect of Communication on Couples’ Relationship and Happiness

By Tamila Mostamandy

This study examined relationships between married couples and couples communication patterns and theories on interpersonal communication. One hundred seventy-eight students from Washington, DC, metropolitan campuses of Strayer University participated in the study. Couples Pre-Counseling Inventory, a validated instrument, was used to examine the participants communication patterns; results were analyzed using SPSS. Variables studied were demographic data, communication patterns, happiness, satisfaction in the couple relationship, and several indices of personal life. Significant differences were found linking communication patterns to general and specific happiness; to satisfaction with the marital relationship; and to management of personal life. In addition, the study revealed significant differences between men and women in the sample, with women less satisfied than men on several variables. The findings thus indicate that the variables studied are related, in a complex manner, to the nature and quality of communication as a factor in many aspects of marriage and family life. The study open the door for future research considering other variables, such as ethnic, cultural, and socioeconomic status.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 3, 2012
• ISBN: 9781477274996

Tamila Mostamandy

About my self Throughout my life, I have set high professional and educational goals. I have always had to work and study hard to meet these goals. The rewards have been well worth the effort. I have a profound interest and fascination in the fields of psychology and human services as well as an immense desire to continue my education. I applied to a doctorate program in psychology to prepare for a career as a psychologist “in Family/Marriage counseling” in Walden University and received my doctorate in human services. I have always been determined to further my education, never allowing problems to stand in the way. After graduating from high school in my country, Afghanistan, there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to attend college. My parents decided to move to Paris so I could enroll in Paris 7th University. We left France in 1986 to come to the United States. I attended Strayer Universty where I double majored in computer information system and business administration. I received my undergraduate degree and ultimately received my master’s degree in business administration from the University. For years I have worked closely with staff, children and parents on a daily basis, learning a great deal about human behavior and I continue to be intrigued by it. I often have to come up with ways to solve behavioral problems among the children and have been commended by many parents for my efforts. After successfully finished a project for organizational behavior classes during graduate school, I used my classroom at the learning center to demonstrate the techniques of behavioral modification. The system I used dramatically improved the behavior of the class. While earning my doctorate, I would like to find my niche and grow while using my facilities and abilities to observe and share personal behaviors. My goal is to use my educational experience and contribute my knowledge and deep understand to help others address behavioral problems. If communication is adequatele it can greatly impact the couples own happiness as well as their children’s lives. The correlation between miscommunication and behavioral issues is prevalent. Today one of the other causes of children’s behavioral issues is parental separation

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© 2012 by Tamila Mostamandy. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 09/29/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4772-7500-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-7499-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012918056

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION

Background

Problem Statement

Background of the Problem

Purpose and Nature of the Study

Research Hypotheses

Strengths and Limitations of the Study

Summary

CHAPTER 2: REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE

Theoretical Framework

Interpersonal Communications: A Definition

How Relationships Work

Different Theories/Models of Communication

The Stages of Communication

Communication Research

The Dream of Love

Couples’ Communications and Happiness in Marriage

Effective versus. Ineffective Communication

Skills to Improve Communication

Family Therapy and its Relationship to Marital Problems

Summary

CHAPTER 3: METHOD

Design

Instruments

Couples Pre-Counseling Inventory (CPCI)

Secondary Measurement: The DAS

Survey Implementation: The DAS

Population and Sample

Data Collection Procedure

Data Analysis

Summary

CHAPTER 4: RESULTS

Demographic and Background Characteristics of Sample

Descriptive Statistic Scale of Background Variables of

Couple’s Happiness with the Relationship

Analysis of Background Factors In Chi-Square Test For The Difference Between Husbands and Wives In terms of Couples’s Happiness with the Relationship

Descriptive Statistics Scale of Background Variable of Couple’s Communication

Analysis of Background Factors In Chi-Square Test For The Difference Between Husbands and Wives In Terms of Couples’s Communication

Descriptive Statistics Scale on the Background Variable for Couple’s Moods and Management of Personal Lives

Analysis of Background Factors In Chi-Square Test For The Difference Between Husbands and Wives In terms of Moods and Management of Personal Lives

Test of Research Hypotheses

SUMMARY

CHAPTER 5: Conclusions and Recommendations

Summery

Couples In Today’s Society

Conclusions

Recommendation

Definition of Terms

REFERENCE LIST

APPENDIX A : Survey Questions

ABSTRACT

Chapter 1

INTRODUCTION

The number one predictor of divorce is destructive styles of arguing. The divorce rate in the United States is currently at a staggering 50%, and second marriages are even higher at a 67% divorce rate. Although divorce is pervasive, it is an agonizing and expensive alternative to an unhappy marriage. The average divorce costs thousands of dollars, and the emotional and relational effects are devastating. (Burton, November 2001).

Relatively little research has documented the relationship between marital happiness and factors of communication, the focus of this document. The underlying question of this research is to what extent can communication processes that affect the marriage provide insight into the overall successfulness of a marriage. The analysis of couples’ views of what makes the dynamics of marriage change may assist counselors and others who work in the field of marriage relations to better serve their clients’ needs.

Background

The family is an institution has been a part of society from its earliest incarnation. Societies by the time humans being had spread around the globe, the family was well-grounded within societies everywhere. The relationship between members of a household was seen as a source of order and stability for both the family and for the community at large. The community itself also influenced the family in many ways. Protecting the stability of the family within the community was a way of protecting the community itself. Wall (1990), examining family history, stated that Community influence tended to give greater weight to social obligations than to emotional needs, to the reinforcement of expected roles within marriage, and to maintaining the appearance of a happy marriage while sacrificing hopes for its achievement (p. 49).

In more recent times as well, little privacy was accorded this unit, as everyone always seemed to know a great deal about what occurred within the four walls of his or her neighbor’s homes (Wall, 1990). In fact, according to Wall, the court system in early America relied heavily on the testimony of a person’s neighbors when he or she stood accused of some wrongdoing. And it was the neighbors, as well as the court, that most often kept a family together—again for the sake of the community at large. As Wall stated:

Rachel Davenport of New Amsterdam wished to separate from her husband alleadging that for many years together she hath undergone a bitter and wearisome life by Reason of her husbands Inhumane usage Blowes, and Cruel Carriages towards her. Although she was able to prove several of her charges, the court could see no legal reason for a divorce and urged both parties to seek a friendly Composure, and that all former differences should Remaine in Oblivion. (p. 57).

It was more important to maintain the institution of marriage itself and its concentration on regulation, and validation of certain community values, than to allow for development of the emotional relationship between two people.

Eshleman (1997) mentioned that Sociologically, the family is a social group, a social institution, and a social system. As a social institution, the family meets broad societal goals that center around intimate relationships (p. 4). Thus it was much more important to maintain the institution of marriage itself and its concentration on regulation, promotion, and validation of certain community values, than to allow for development of the emotional relationship between two people.

While the family is still an important part of the cultural norms, social scientists have documented many changes in customs and expectations for marriage and the family. The norms and mores of particular cultures remain important aspects of the social fabric, but they have changed, and continue to do so, making some observers question whether there will even be a place for the family in the future.

But beyond this macro stage look at the family as an institution, many sociologists and other scholars of social forces are today studying the individual levels of how marital happiness is affected by the forces of social change. Included in these categories are economic well-being, changing sex role expectations, educational level, and communication capabilities.

Blumstein and Schwartz (as cited in Henslin, 1985) stressed that in the past few decades, people have married for reasons such as a desire for children, economic security, social position, love, parents’ wishes, escape, pregnancy, companionship, sexual attraction, common interests, and adventure (pp. 34-35). In other words, marriage, in large part, is contracted to provide emotional support. In recent years, many research studies have examined the theory that marriage, now, is more of an internal relationship between individuals and less of a social system than it was in years past. If internal relationships between individuals are what holds marriages together, then an important question to determine the reason(s) that we are seeing an increasing rate of divorce on an annual basis.

A national survey conducted by Blumstein and Schwartz (as cited in Henslin, 1985) looked at money, work, and sex among American couples in order to answer the question, What makes today’s marriages last? The authors found that when couples argued about money and its management, there was a stronger tendency for the couple to be unhappy and for the relationship to fall apart. Disagreements about whether the wife should work, the kind of work, and the hours of work also were linked to higher levels of dissatisfaction and divorce (pp. 298-303). Dym and Glenn (1993) found that the withholding of feelings oftentimes created an unhappy relationship. They found that tension between the couple is one of the most important sources of disequilibrium. In order to avoid these tensions, people will try to change their own (or their partner’s) behaviors and attitudes so that stability may be maintained and their own self-image will be acceptable. The maintenance of that stability is not always easy, however, since individuals are being given constant feedback about their character by the other party in the relationship. Each person tries (through verbal and nonverbal communication) to manipulate the partner’s behavior toward ensuring that his or her own emotional well-being is satisfactory.

This technique of maintaining individual self-esteem has a way of putting tension