Burnt Gloveboxes

By Gina Ramsey

Have you ever experienced a crazy mishap?

 

How about a series of them?

 

If so, then you'll appreciate Gina Ramsey's life, where outrageous blunders and misadventures happen all the time. From renegade turkeys to an escape artist dog who enjoys an occasional poo-poo platter, the stories in this book will not only crack you up, they'll have you appreciating the "normal" moments in your own life and embracing the funny in life's quirky circumstances.

 

Burnt Gloveboxes: Embracing Life When It Goes Up in Flames is a cross between Murphy's Law and Chicken Soup for the Soul. If you love to laugh when things go sideways, this book is for you!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Highlander Press
• Release date: May 9, 2023
• ISBN: 9781956442168

Book preview

Introduction

You never run out of things that can go wrong.

Murphy’s Law

We are all born into this world with one thing in common: we all experience life differently. While some people seem to float through life effortlessly, others seem to be plagued with an endless array of inconceivable circumstances. The latter is my life. Just when I think I’ve seen it all, the universe sends another occurrence my way to remind me that my life will never be ordinary.

If you don’t know me personally, you would probably think my stories are either made-up or exaggerated. However, those who know me well would confidently tell you, If it’s going to happen – it’s going to happen to Gina. I am convinced they are right. If you type Murphy’s Law into any search engine bar, you will likely find a portrait of me and some family members and friends lurking in the background for the ultimate photobomb scenario. My adulthood has been filled with a plethora of random mishaps. When sharing these unique stories with others, I have been repeatedly told, Gina, you seriously need to write a book!

In 2006, inspiration set in when discovering the interior of our car engulfed in a cloud of smoke and a hole burned into our glovebox door. Our dashboard was etched and charred with a distinct branding that would hold great significance in our lives. This burnt glovebox embodied every bizarre circumstance we had previously encountered or would experience in the future. At that moment, I knew my societal duty was to let my stories be known to the world.

I sat at my desk and pressed the power button on my computer. My fingers found the correct placement on the smooth square keys of the center row, the blank Microsoft Word document awaiting patiently on the backlit screen. I was about to create what would become my rough draft, moving me one step closer to my goal. My fingertips tapped swiftly on the keys, click, click, click. My mind was digging deep, reflecting upon one story after another-writing, a short description of each on the page. Once finished, I selected File>Print. The ink cartridge glided back and forth on the paper, making a zipping sound as the paper was being fed through its path. Line after line, transferring the draft of my masterpiece onto two crisp white pieces of paper. Finally, I picked up my stapler and lined it up on the left corner, just so. With a firm squeeze, the shiny silver staple popped in, securing the pages together as one.

I opened my desk drawer and found a manilla file jacket, perfect protection for this newly created masterpiece. I pulled the cap off a black Sharpie, and its distinct smell permeated the air. I wrote Burnt Gloveboxes in large letters on the front of the folder and slid my outline into it.

Life in the sandwich generation boldly moved its way into the forefront, consuming every waking moment of my time. Burnt Gloveboxes remained idle in my file of future must-dos, despite my heart’s yearning desire to write my stories. From time to time, I would pull the draft out, filling the white spaces with handwritten reminders of recent stories to ensure they would not be forgotten. The draft continued to sit, patiently waiting for me to breathe life into it. I frequently thought, "Someday, I will write that book."

Through the years, I have spoken to many who have shared preposterous tales of their own. I was amazed and somewhat relieved that others perpetually reside in the comical realm of outlandish happenings as well. Finally, I had found my people, my tribe—a community tied by a familiar thread: Burnt Glovebox stories. The blank area on my draft continued to shrink as I expanded the list of possible stories others told me.

Fast forward to 2020, when people witnessed and experienced unbelievable events well beyond what one might consider normal. Life had been turned upside down. Shelves were empty where hand soap, toilet paper, and pizzas were once stocked; travel and events were at a stand-still, and borders were closed. Then, the evolution of the face mask began. This new fashion statement included gas masks, dinosaur and unicorn costume heads, and custom-cut milk cartons, just to name a few. Eventually, the medical and handmade cloth face masks had become the new wardrobe accessory, and the other comical masking trends quickly dissipated.

The multitude of overlapping events during the COVID-19 pandemic created one very unbelievable storyline. Oddly, the entire world was thrust into a dynamic Burnt Glovebox script. Finding the funny is the number one thing that has kept me grounded or, at best, has been the string of sanity I often find myself clinging to when life goes awry. The craziness of the pandemic ignited my inspiration and passion for bringing some happiness to the world.

I have learned so much from the events I have experienced, and the takeaways are numerous. However, I have found the most important of these is the power humor and laughter have on health and well-being. These are practical therapeutic tools when life presents challenging moments, both big and small. One individual smile, giggle, or deep belly laugh can cause a fantastic ripple effect, bringing powerful joy and healing to our world.

I feel blessed to have experienced the many crazy circumstances in life, as these have allowed me an amazing opportunity to bring joy to others. So, I sat with my laptop open in front of me, backlit screen, fingers aligned, and tapped swiftly on the keys—click, click, click—all while musing, "I am finally writing my book."

Part One

The Mishaps Trend Beginning

They say don’t try this at home so I’m coming over to your house to try it.

Anonymous

There’s no place like home

the phrase made famous by a young girl named Dorothy Gale in the classic movie The Wizard of Oz after her house was sucked up by a tornado and thrown into a land filled with munchkins, flying monkeys, witches, a talking scarecrow, tin man, and lion. Her journey seemed to be plagued with one crazy incident after another during what seemed to be an endless search to find a wizard who she hoped would be able to send her back home. When she finally returned to her beloved home and tried to explain the scenarios she faced to her family and friends, they all looked at her dumbfounded.

Like Dorothy, I have been thrust into a world where unbelievable things happen, minus the flying monkeys, and when I tell my tales, I sometimes receive a look of bewilderment. However, unlike Dorothy, I cannot seem to find my way out of my Land of Oz to return to my sanctuary, my place of safety where everything makes sense. Instead, I reside in Oz, where unbelievable scenarios are