An Image of Imperfection: a Crucial Decision

By Genesis King-Marlin

Trechelle Young is a believer in love and at all cost she wanted the life that romance novels proposed as ideal. When she tackles the battle of (Ralph Young) husband, children, and happily ever after she finds that there are at least two different directions in which her marriage is traveling and the desires of her heart are not on the route. As multiple disappearing acts take premier and suspected marital flings arise Trechelle is faced with doubts of her marriage stronghold. She discovers Ralphs suspected infidelities might have reappeared after many years of believing they'd stop. The question Trechelle must ask is does the infidelity stop at just women and is there more? Trechelle has also harbored deep secrets that she's tried to hide but discovers it has impact on her future just like it did her past. When Frank Henry (Ralphs co-partner) notices a damsel in distress in Trechelle and hurries to aid and see to her every need, will she take the bait and enter into a life altering experience or will she stay in her troublesome marriage, troubling past secrets she wants sealed, and piece her family image together again?

A friend of Trechelle's enters into an abusive relationship with whips, turns, and twists and has a surprising destination. The confusion drives Trechelle into a dark place she believed disappeared long ago. The big question is "Who's the father?" The sequel: A Crucial decision which is included as a bonus, will exemplify in magnitude, naive is for only a short time while then once the blinders are pushed aside who'll fight to regain their lives or just give up? Trechelle and Ralph children are growing and family members are making their appearances in this sequel given a more imbalanced and juicy filled distraction to already rocky lives. Whose in the closet and whose not? What will this juicy novel reveal?

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 11, 2012
• ISBN: 9781468507270

Genesis King-Marlin

Genesis King-Marlin has written since the age of 8 little stories of child-like material, as she aged the stories became more real-life stories. At the age of 14 Genesis hid her stories in a time capsule to later be dug up in 50 years, in which have not happened as of yet, to see if time and stories had indeed changed. As Genesis continues to age, her writing experiences only elevated. At age 19, Genesis joined the United States Navy in which she saw many parts of the world. Genesis found her life during the time line of '93 to '06 a very interesting story line, of course in Ficitional, interesting to depict along with other individual lives, giving her own little twist, that makes all her writing more real life stories. Genesis attended Mississippi University for Women for three years and finished up her last year at American Intercontinental University obtaining a bachelor degree, summa cum laude in Forensic Science. Genesis currently resides in Covington, GA with her husband and children.

Book preview

An Image of Imperfection: 

 A crucial decision

Genesis King-Marlin

US%26UKLogoB%26Wnew.ai

AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2012 Genesis King-Marlin . All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 4/4/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4685-0727-0 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-0728-7 (sc)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Part II:

A crucial decision

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Acknowledgements

My praises will always belong to God almighty. He has blessed me with so many gifts, and I thank him with all my heart and soul. I thank God for all the storms and rain because without them I wouldn’t appreciate Him and the power He possess. As I lift God’s name on high I ask that He continue to shelter me with mercy and grace. Blessed be the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

To my beautiful daughters Mica, Bree, Mi-Mi, and Ki- I want you to always put God first in everything you do. He will direct your paths for sure. Thank you all for allowing me to follow my heart and my dreams. I want you all to press forward and you will be anything you inspire to be. I love you all truly with my entire being.

To My husband: Who wouldn’t let me give up for nothing in the world. You kept pushing me to go on and even though we were in the ups and then downs you kept telling me to keep pressing doing what I loved doing and that was my writing. Rock- Some of your unconscious efforts have helped me accept what I see for what it really is, express the way I feel and the need to do so, and I want to thank you for that. I want everyone to understand with challenges brings awards and you can not be a better person if you’ve never gone through anything. There are always and I do mean always two sides to every story and in some cases three or four, because everyone see things different and want to express their judgments. In our case we kept it mild and yet real with one another. I’ve loved you from the very start Rock; you’ve been here for me through the thick and thin and the sick and well. I want to say that all things happen for a reason and God has a perfect plan for our life. I’ve taken the many sides of you as I also see you take the many sides of me and we said for better or worse. We will stand up to what we proclaimed and love the love we have for one another. It’s a process darling just living each day to day element waiting to see the outcome.

My sister and very best friend Lisa- I love you sweetie words just couldn’t express how much love and gratitude I have in my heart for you and I thank you for being my side kick. You always give me encouragement telling me everything will be fine and I want you to know I appreciate your love. You are my sister and also my dearest friend. You keep on looking to the hills because your blessings are on the way.

To my dearest friend and sister Danika Foy – You are such a wonderful person and through all of my muck you’ve been right here without judgments asking how do I really feel? God has a perfect plan for you and although we try and run from the calling on our lives we can’t hide. He’s here for you girl, you are designed to teach the truth and continue to be real with it. You see the right and wrong just as many prophetesses and you are my lucky charm. I don’t want to leave out the fact you are ordained by God and I am so proud of you; I love you girl.

Vanessa, my mother I love you with all my heart. I am so happy you are with me during this transition in my life. You never judge me or say what I shouldn’t do you always encourage me to keep on doing what I love and I thank you so much. You have been here for me and girls and we so greatly appreciate all the help you give me without even asking you are here on your white horse to take me to safety.

King Lyonel (my twin) I love you and thank you for supporting me. I pray the Lord continue to be with you on all your destinations and remember that he is always there when you need someone to talk too.

Freddie or hat daddy- which ever you prefer, thank you for spreading the word about my books. You know you’re messy but hey that’s you I love you brother-in –law keep on grinding and be good to my sister. I would hate to have to hurt you, just kidding, be blessed.

I want to give a special shout out to all my adopted friends and play family at Oceana Naval base- Momma Karen Cox, Scott, Wilson, Garcia, Mr. Whitehead, Mr. Moore, Hanna, Shauna, Capt. Branch, Keisha, James and all my military friends. Thank you all for the things you do. Without you all being in the trenches I wouldn’t feel safe but I want to say my gratitude for men and women like you taking the watch and declaring everything is secure.

This book is dedicated to the strong but somewhat naïve…..Stay Blessed!

Images

My image I hold so near to me

A perfect one I never claimed to be

The strong, black woman you ultimately see

Was hiding behind the image, the images everyone wanted her to be?

Breaking down all strongholds

The previous generation supplied me

I’m getting ready for a transition in my life

The dreams I have are starting to take flight

Understanding the very purpose I hold

Everything I touch is turning gold

Rely not to my own understanding

But knowing there’s a perfect will He’s planning.

I’m taking the words for better or worse

And applying them to my life daily

Praying and believing the words are true

Getting rid of the doubts and the maybe

I take the image and apply it to my heart

Designing the picture I see is a good start

My image I hold so near to me

A perfect one I never claimed to be

The strong, black woman you ultimately see

Was hiding behind the images, the images everyone wanted her to be?

Indivisible

Their bodies linked together as if they were twins being enclosed in one body for nine months, their bodies looked merged with one another. Thoughts of their loved ones escaped both their minds as they entered a dimension of multiple orgasms feeding their desire beyond imagination it was another night of passion embarked upon and shared for only their two eyes. As two bodies tangled into a multitude of knots exchanging positions sliding their sweaty bodies along each others while suckling on each others ears, lips, and necks while holding, kissing, and touching, the air filled with the aroma of intense sex, sweat, and lust.

This is wrong, Ralph said as he withdrew his rod. I can’t keep doing this to her. Tree is a good woman. She would be crushed if she found out, he insisted.

Here we go again. What do you want to do about it?

You don’t understand I love her. I don’t know what to do but I got to do something.

You say that every time we get together. I’ve been with you for the longest, I know she has your children and you feel that you love her but trust me it’s not love. You feel obligated to be with her, if you love her then why are you here with me again. This here you can’t change, face it you tried.

This is wrong; I pray every night that God forgives me.

Oh yeah, God has a lot to do with this don’t you think.

What the hell are you talking about, Ralph said angrily.

These feeling are here and they just didn’t pop out of nowhere. God is love right?

Yes, Ralph answered with caution.

Then why do you think you are wrong, you can’t get away from what feels good to you. We have love for each other.

But I’m married, Ralph explained.

It reoccurs to me…

T-lee wake up sweetie, Theresa said while shaken Trechelle. Kevin it’s happening again, she having a nightmare.

It’s probably something she ate my love, Trechelle father announced as he kissed Trechelle’s drenched forehead and his wife’s cheek. I’m going to bed. Say your prayers T-lee and everything will be alright.

It’s more isn’t it, Theresa asked Trechelle.

I don’t remember the dream mama, Trechelle said while wiping her eyes. Trechelle was seven years old and at least once a month would have a dream that rendered her into fits of screaming and sweating profusely.

Lord, lay me down to sleep, I pray my soul you’ll keep, if I should die before I wake I pray the lord my soul. Amen, both ladies said in unison.

She’s sleep, Kevin asked.

Yes, she’s finally sleep. I wish she’d just forget about it.

She’ll forget baby, Kevin stated as he reached out for his wife to enter his arms. "Don’t worry, he’ll never touch her again and as long as we watch her and take care of her and shower her with a lot of love she’ll forget all about Greg.

He’s dead but his torture lives on and it hurts her Kevin, Theresa said as she lay in her husband arms.

Believe me God is going to help her forget that pain and she’ll live a good life. I know she will baby, I know it, Kevin stated as he and his wife fell asleep in each other arms.

Chapter 1

Start of a …

As I wrapped up my visiting the past with pictures and thoughts of being happy and in love, I gave a big yawn and looked around my bedroom. I think I was doing really well because let’s face it, my husband was a sexy ass man and I loved him. The women drooled over him, but he was mine. I thought I had the perfect husband along with the perfect children; I didn’t have to work because Dot said he wanted me to be around the children. Did I give up my freedom; did I change backwards into caveman beliefs? As these thoughts flooded my mind, I ran my hand across the names on the album, Mr. & Mrs. Ralph and Trechelle Young. These letters meant so much too me even without being in gold.

Ralph, my Dot was a down south guy who believed in taking care of his wife while the wife took care of home. I wondered quietly, who ever came up with the bull shit of being the housewife and the man working, while loving it? Yeah, I know way before my time. I must admit at one time I felt comfortable with it. I look at it now as some cave man shit, or punishment. Was I repeating the cycle I endured during childhood, where I believed and lived off every word of a man and I needed them to make me feel like I wasn’t that weird girl all over again?

I wasn’t like other girls that didn’t have a father and therefore was their reason for searching for men love, being boy crazy or fast, or whatever the usual names elders gave us in those days. I had my daddy and I loved him and he was good to us all. I can only say I just wanted more, more of what I did not know. The guys in my middle school didn’t make me feel the way daddy made me feel. Daddy made me feel very pretty and his little angel, but the constant stares and note passing of the guys at school talking about how pretty I was felt different and I liked it. I liked their comments and stares more than I liked my dads. The only problem was they weren’t old enough to me. They seemed so stupid or like what I said they didn’t understand at all.

I thought quickly about my eighth grade prom and I quickly blushed, I didn’t have any pictures but the thoughts still resonated in my mind. I had sex upon sex upon sex all through middle school until I met my high school boyfriend Eric. He never knew and I never told him. I was a sneaky girl and loved being with older guys but something about Eric slowed me down with all of that. I told Shala about some but not all the sneaky things I did as we were growing up. There were many different guys that told me I was cute, sexy, had it going on and I loved hearing it. So in return I slept with many of them. This was a part of myself I tried hard to erase it and act like nothing ever happened. Yes, Shala knew about some of the guys and she didn’t like what she knew so it only stood to reason to me not to tell her about all the others. When I graduated I told myself I was erasing my past interludes and starting over. None of the guys ever really meant a lot to me I just loved the idea I meant something to them. Of course I didn’t understand I had dented my inner being with a blurry image.

Once Eric came into my life he changed me and to me he was my first love. He was the one that stood out, I never understood why but he was. That is until I met Dot, now Dot took my heart and sealed it inside his chest. No matter what he did or didn’t do I just melted like butter with him. I looked at the wedding photo on the wall and a few tears wetted my cheeks. Did I become a failure? Where was that happy go lucky girl? Where was that girl that loved to be the life of the party? Where was that girl that came home when the roosters began to crow? I guess I grew up, it sure didn’t feel good to me.

I had to take a quick seat on the bed. I was beginning to have a lot of dizzy phases as well as throwing up. I guess the revisiting the past made me feel sick, or I was a horrible person in my previous life. No, I’m making myself believe in that crap. I did some horrible things in my past. It seemed to me that I was reaping what I sowed except it was one thousand times greater than I thought I should. I don’t even want to go into the past on that. I don’t know what was going on but I did know I wasn’t pregnant, so my dizzy spells and constant crying was something else. I would just feel sick to the stomach just thinking about my past. Sometimes I’d think I deserved everything that happened to me. I don’t know but I would usually wonder where I have gone wrong. Humph, Ralph smiling in this photo a big beautiful grin as he’d never looked more handsome and of course I was looking pretty good myself. Our ‘I do’ meant forever to me.

As I emerged from my usual seclusion of the past to enter the real world as it were I began to look for the children. I always made it a point of talking with the children about their day at school; let’s face it that was my only proof of living. Looking at my children made me feel alive and maybe I did have a purpose. That feeling would come and go a lot, depending on the mood of Dot when he entered any room I was in. I’m not saying it is right but I’m only being honest with myself. Every time Dot was late from work or if I can’t reach him I felt he was with another.

The time had really escaped me; I noticed a few things left in the floor by my children. Happy or not they would hear my usual fussing. I felt so much of my energy escaping my body everyday when it came to having the whole family in the house at the same time. The late days were back and no matter how much I fussed at Dot they just kept happening. Although I tried to deny my depression I couldn’t hide anything from my sister. Dot could also see it but never did anything to help me. I just felt that sometimes he didn’t like me like he did when we were first married or better yet when we first met.

Janis, I need you to take your clothes downstairs and wash them, I huffed as I appeared in my eldest child’s room. I asked about the time and noticed the room needed to be cleaned. I knew she’d ask about going out, with her room looking like this. I couldn’t understand why my children did that, hell if I wanted to go somewhere when I was a child I made sure I’d cleaned. Come to think about it whether I wanted to go anywhere or not we all had to clean the house. I guess I spoiled my kids. My daily routine encompassed cleaning, cooking, reminiscing, and watching television I didn’t see anything else I really wanted to do.

Ralph was the man I loved and wanted, the one I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. We use to play cards, dominos, shoot pool, and even watch the football and basketball games together. There were many things that changed over the years. Maybe I just wasn’t interesting any longer to my husband. Had we reached our expiration date? I wish I knew what would keep him interested besides off the chain sex which we have a lot of, but still I was not satisfied with just the sex. I knew it had to be more I needed. Ralph seemed so damn perfect; I gave up my life for him, and wanted to live forever after with him.

Every weekday I’d make sure the girls were safely off to school and my husband off to work only to feel empty, I realized I wanted and had to have something more in my life. I was drowning even with a family; I hid it so long acting like I was content and happy. I get so darn confused, at one point I wanted so much more out of life then I’d think I was better needed at home with the girls.

It’s about four o’ clock, the girls said in unison.

I let the time get away from me, and went around in the kitchen picking up the girls shoes they had thrown in the floor. Did your father call," I asked.

No, Tisha said.

Mommy, Janis called. I called daddy on his cell phone but I didn’t get an answer.

He’s probably on his way home, I suggested and hoped. I need you ladies to help me out around here.

I continued to fuss and clean while the girls watched me. They knew this was a usual for me that also became mundane, they’d watch me clean up their messes they made on a daily while I’d fuss and pick up things for them. I noticed this behavior and frankly I was tired of doing it. I went ahead and gave them my demands. They needed to help me if they wanted to hang out with friends or go places. This was too crazy, I’d clean and they come right in and make a mess for me to clean up all night or the next day.

Momma, can I go to the basketball game tonight, Janis asked.

It’s kind of late isn’t it, I paused before taking a deep breath. Janis I know you want to get out with your friends, but you’re going to have to clean up your room and put up your bags and shoes, so forth to get out of this house from now on, I stopped moving. "This shit gets to be too damn much; you and your sister think I am a damn maid or something. You’re both lucky I let you get away with it for so many years because if you were me you’d both get your asses kicked and wouldn’t get to go anywhere. If you want to go to that game you better get busy, or you want be going. You better had done that homework as well, do you understand me. I said as I pointed at her with a look of madness on my face.

You’re the oldest and you must begin leading so your little sister can follow and I mean that.

Yes I did my homework earlier, the girls already played but the boys are still playing, she began to pout and look at me like I’d fall for her look.

It just wasn’t working with me anymore because I’d had enough crap. I usually didn’t curse in front of my kids but this shit had become too much for me. Okay, you better get busy then if you want to go I smiled quickly at her with my look of I didn’t care what she wanted to do.

So is your room cleaned, I quizzed Tisha.

Yes ma’am, I did it when I got home from school, said Tisha.

"Once you’re done Janis you can go, but from this moment on I’m not your slave and you both will be doing dishes and chores every week whether you want to go somewhere or not. Janis quickly ran to her room and I could hear her moving like a tornado storm. It seemed as if my look told them I meant business because Tisha headed up behind her to her bathroom.

As I walked around the house my voice trailed before going into my bedroom to call Ralph. It really bothered me when he would answer his phone or return phone calls.

Hi, where are you? The girls have been trying to call you, I took a deep breath before continuing, and said they didn’t get an answer.

I didn’t get the call, he said coldly.

What time are you coming home, I asked trying to seem patient.

I’ll be home in a little while, Ralph said dryly.

I hung up the phone, feeling uneasy. I felt so uneasy and unwanted but my praying continued. Ralph seemed agitated with my question of his arrival but just the other day he seemed happy when I called and asked the very same question. I didn’t know what was bothering him and I couldn’t understand why the office would close at five thirty everyday yet Dot ass would always show up five or six hours later. Not a phone call of his whereabouts, or any excuses. His moods were worst than mine when my monthly would pay me a visit.

I know I wasn’t his mother, however, respect is respect. I wonder what he would do if it were he looking for me all the time.

Back down memory lane…

* * * 

Since the first day I laid eyes on Ralph Young I believed I’d found the one. The one I hoped to spend the rest of my life with didn’t care what I had to do to get him. He stood about 6’3" tall and weighed about 210 pounds. His complexion was a delicious dark fudge color and he held the brightest brown eyes one could ever imagine. His muscles stood out and were very noticeable even fully dressed. He had this sexy walk that went without words accompanied with obvious bow legs. I met Ralph at a house party Shala, Nadine, and Serenity attended. Parties were my thing, I loved to play cards. I’d been playing cards I looked up and caught an eye full of his sexy, as he walked in the front door. Damn, who is that sexy man? I looked over at one of guys sponsoring the party and asked if he knew who the stranger was. He looked up and smiled, I smiled back then I looked at everyone at the table and they were laughing.

What’s wrong with ya’ll, I asked the group.

Nothing, they said in unison.

Well it’s something, I stressed.

"It just so happen he’s the guy we wanted to introduce you to a few weeks back but after all that mess went down between you, Brandon, and Eric we decided against it.

Um, he’s fine, I said with approval.

I don’t know about all that, Dennis answered.

The other guys confirmed Dennis last statement. They were all cool friends of mine, who also listened to my constant whining about Eric not doing this and Eric not doing that.

I do, he’s fine, I said again taking another quick glance.

He’s just really cool and seems to be your type. So you and Eric are officially done, Jacob asked.

So done, it’s time to move on. I messed up with Eric but I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt anyone else. As a matter of fact from this moment on I don’t even want to talk about him. He’s a good guy and I know he’ll find the right one for him but it is not me.

Ralph is our frat brother; he’s a doctor. We felt like you two would be a perfect couple and should meet, the guys finally stated.

Ya’ll, I said in a heightened tone. I was a little scared; shit next time just spit it out.

You know we love you, the guys around the card table explained.

I had a lot of guy friends, they looked out for me. I did get myself in a lot of trouble with Brandon. I really wasn’t trying to hear what anyone was telling me at the time. It was all about me, so you can say all the trouble I had was brought on by me.

I kept playing cards but I tried to capture eye contact. I kept looking at his eyes with a come here look and he smiled each time. He kept lifting one eyebrow as if someone had asked him a question. I had to get to know this man, he was so damn sexy. I looked around for my usual crew. I noticed Shala first and nodded my head towards the stranger and with head gesture I suggested I wanted to meet him. She and I always had the chemistry. If she wanted to say something to me she didn’t have to open her mouth I could tell right away in her walk, mood, and appearance.

Once the card game was over, I made my way quickly from the card table to the area in which the handsome stranger stood so I could make my presence known to this sexy as man before someone else grabbed him up. Usually I would never go up to a guy for anything because they usually walked up but I was going to go for it with this man. I pranced in front of the stranger first so he could get a good full body look, taking all my sexy I knew I had. I knew when a man was looking at me so I didn’t have to do too much. I sashayed past him acting like I was working the room with people I knew. On my way back in the direction of Ralph I noticed a handsome guy standing beside him and they looked to be in a deep conversation. As I passed the two, Ralph initiated contact.

Excuse me can I speak with you, he asked with a sharp and deep voice.

Of course, I said. with a little smile. Damn even his voice was sexy. Once I locked eye contact with him I knew I’d have him sooner or later. My sexy shape was standing out and yet left a lot to the imagination. I knew he was looking me up and down. I wanted to say so badly did he like what he saw, but why bother when I already knew he did.

So what’s your name sexy, he asked.

My name is Trechelle, what’s your name, I gave a sexy lick of my lips while asking.

Ms. Trechelle, he said with emphasis, "I’m Ralph. But my friends call me Dot."

Dot, um that’s different, I gave a puzzled look.

"I’ll admit I’m from the country and a country boy to the heart. They’ve always called me Dot. It began with my cousins, uncles, and aunts. They said they could see me playing out side in the dark and began calling me that but never stopped. I kind of grew cool with it."

I’m pleased to meet you Ralph, I gave him my hand to shake ignoring the nick name. I would have to come up with another one, but then again if he liked it then why couldn’t like it either. It’s just any kind of degradation of any kind of dark or light black people didn’t set well with me. I hated hearing people call others ugly, black, shine, or anything likes that.

Ralph shook my hand, smiled at me, and said, "You have a beautiful smile," he said putting emphasis on the B in the word.

Thank you, I blushed.

Excuse us, I heard behind me. I turned around and noticed my girls standing waiting for an introduction.

Oh, excuse me, I covered my mouth before quickly pointing to my friends. I forgot they were even at the party with me. These are my best friends Serenity, we call her Re, Nadine, we call her Dana and Shala, and we call her Shy.

Wat’s up ladies, Ralph asked trying to sound hip.

Hello, they said in unison and walked off to let the two of us talk.

So Dot right, I tilted my head to the side getting a full view of his tall frame, I hope my next question isn’t too much or noisy but can I ask what you do for a living, I asked but never took my eyes away from his. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a gold digger, I just had qualifications or standards for any man to date me. This was an addition for me after Eric. I felt like I was a woman that deserved to have a man that has something going on in his life, respectful, a man with a sense of humor, no abusive tendencies. I didn’t want any crap and I didn’t want another Brandon episode either. Now I know sometimes you can’t tell whether a guy had abusive tendencies but I did inquire anyway. My thing was as long as I was in school to one day be an accountant and start a business, do the very best I can do, then why couldn’t I expect the same.

Ok, so you get right to it, no where I’m from, are you married, do you have a lady, you just jump right in and ask about my occupation, he asked making sure he’d give me his brightest smile. I’m a Sports Medicine doctor; I specialize in athletic training and sports medicine, he paused and pulled out my chair. I’m assuming that’s what you wanted to know, he gave me the okay to sit and gave me a big smile.

Oh, I gave a deep inhaling stance to give a full view of my cleavage, I don’t mean any harm but I have to know what I’m getting myself into and know if a guy is even worth my time. I wasn’t trying to be mean, but when I see someone I might be interested in I make sure to ask the right questions so I won’t waste my time or yours. I would have asked if you had any children as well as any crazy baby momma drama. Then again it would be a deal breaker if you already had children, and I mean no harm, I said holding my hand to my chest. I know it might sound selfish but it’s what I make clear in the beginning, it doesn’t matter if you’re not the guy for me. I would want to know and I’m sure you have a few deal breakers whether we are just meeting or not. I know you wouldn’t want to waste your time, right, I asked.

You have a point and of course men look at the behavior of a woman and their quickness to get in bed with a man they’ve just met. You got the looks that I like, and if you don’t mind me saying this, you are sexy as hell.

No I’m not offended by that at all, I laughed holding my hand to my chest. As I gave a quick glance around the room I noticed that I wasn’t the only one that met a sexy man. Serenity was talking to this sexy, tall man. She seemed to be in a deep conversation. I also noticed Nadine talking to a guy, but he wasn’t all that good looking, a little plump with some outfit that looked crazy. I guess she didn’t care because she kept talking to him. I didn’t see Shala anywhere around the room.

I think it tells a lot about you when you ask questions, Ralph said as I turned my attention back to him.

"So do you like sports, well I guess that’s self explanatory. Do you like working with athletes. Are they really self absorbed like I heard? I mean it seems interesting to be working with athletes and being a doctor too. I don’t think I could ever handle being in any medical field.

Um, he said touching the side of my face. "You are very beautiful and I’m a good judge of character; I think you are a really cool person and that smile will suck me into your web.

Thank you, I blushed. I’m attending Georgia State, my major is accounting. Shy, my best friend, and I intend to start our own accounting firm, when we finish school, I stated now feeling more at ease. I thought to myself I should go looking for Shy but I felt like staying and listening to Ralph talk with a very sexy voice. I felt my panties getting wet as we were talking to one another. I thought to myself that I wanted him right then but I surely didn’t want him thinking I was a whore. I took a quick glance at his package down below and it looked as if the package was ready to be unwrapped. "I like the way you do that, I said as I pointed at his mouth.

Do what, he asked looking a little confused at my statement.

You pronounce your ‘B words in a style differently than I’ve ever heard. It’s sexy, you say ‘B’ like you are almost pronouncing baby without the ‘by’ on the end."

I get that all the time. It was worse than this when I first began college up here. I use to visit my folks down in South Georgia, before they moved up North.

"Oh, really, I’m from south Georgia,’ I announced.

"I am too, but we moved at a very young age. My cousin and I moved back down here but I decided to be a doctor and he didn’t. My cousin and I were and still are to this day are thick as thieves and say we’re brothers because we were raised together.

Yeah I’m sure; it’s good to have someone you can be close to no matter what. Shy and I have been friends for a very long time. I am also close to my sister Zoe as well. All three of us would always be together, so many people begun to think we were sisters. I laughed and looked Dot up and down. I loved to see a brother with direction and focus, giving individuals who decided or stated statistics concluding that all black men are worthless a better image.

Ralph and I both continued with small talk until I realized the party was over and everyone left the party except us. I really like talking to him and he kept my attention with that voice, and sexy way he licked his lips. We decided to exchange phone numbers and this was the start of our relationship. I quickly went to talk to Shy to inform her about the interesting man I’d just met. I know she would probably be mad at me for spending the rest of my time with Dot. I wanted to tell her all about Ralph and ask what she thought about him. I really wanted her to like him but sometimes Shala really didn’t like the guys I liked and she would either say she didn’t like them or her expression on her face gave me disapproval. My thoughts about Eric were I loved him and always will but we could never be together again. Not only did I hurt him, I hurt myself as well. The ordeal we went through had to completely leave my mind in order to move forward.

When I meet Ralph I was on rocky ground but something about him intrigued me. This new man had more conversation for me and seemed to have more time for me and we had just met. Only time would tell his character. When I found Shala she was back in our room sleep. She didn’t even get mad at me. She said she liked him, now that really shocked me. I was glad she wasn’t mad at me.

As we began to date our encounters were laid back and easy; Ralph didn’t force any desire to have sex on me in any way I really wanted to have sex with him, every time we were together that urge would get so intense with me. We both talked to no end until we’d fell asleep or until Ralph would take me home. He took me to different places like the museum, different plays, the zoo, dancing, and he would also take me on picnics. I liked the way he treated me but I was beginning to get impatient. I wanted to make love to this man, and I really wanted to show him I could do some really sexy things. I wanted to rock his world. I loved cooking for him though; I wanted him to know I was a prize catch. I cooked meals for him at his condo.

We became inseparable; however, one thing that still bothered me no matter how hard Dot tried to take my attention away from sex, was the sex we weren’t having at all. I was growing really tired of this waiting shit but I tried not pushing the issue of sex. This was a side of a man I wasn’t really used to; men always wanted to be intimate with me. The attraction was intense and I knew he felt the same way I did but how was he fighting it.

After a few weeks I tried to drop hints but Ralph deferred the option saying I respect you and want you to know that when we get together it will be real.

I began to wonder about Ralph attraction to me. I thought it was me; maybe I wasn’t as attractive to him as he was to me. Did he want me like I wanted him? I thought I sensed it in the beginning and even on our outings. He held me a lot and it felt so good to be cuddled and kissed. He was very good at kissing me. I loved the way he made me feel but unfortunately he never went further than just making out. I wanted to feel the huge bulge inside of me and what made things worse was I could feel it through his pants. He would be on hard but wouldn’t go any further.

My Ex

So Eric is out of the picture now, Shala asked me.

He made himself clear when we last spoke. He said he could forgive me but it will always be hard to forget. I think he’s still made about the whole situation. Who could blame him?

Right, but Ya’ll been through so much but I can’t understand why it’s over between the two of you. To be fair to him, it was messed up. I don’t know what I would have done in that same situation.

You don’t want us to be apart, that’s why you saying that, I said before laughing. I messed up Shala; I did wrong and hurt him all the way around. I did something I never thought I would. It’s time Shy; he’s so into finishing school which is good but he’s always doing other things. I don’t know why but I feel as if I need more attention. I’ve become second or third even and I won’t put up with that. He just lost my attention, maybe I was growing tired of him, I don’t know.

It’s good that he wants to finish school and focus. That means he’s determined to have a wonderful life and by the way make yours pleasant too. He’s never been the one to make you choose to hang out with him or do work. So why do you do the same?

Huh, I grunted.

I can say he love you.

I did something he said he could never forgive. I can never take it back, so I just want to move forward and forget all the past mistakes I made. I tell you one thing though, I started.

What’s that, Shala asked.

I’ll never do that again. I promised.

I hope not, because when you hurt I hurt and that sorry ass Brandon hurt us both.

Girl, I don’t know what that was, I explained.

No matter what excuse you come up with you were wrong and if it is truly over between you two let it be so.

I am that’s why I’ve stayed away from him and stopped calling as well. I know I hurt him and I feel bad when I’m around him.

Forgive yourself, you’ve already moved on but try and forgive yourself for everything.

I am, it is hard but I am. That’s why I said let’s not talk about Eric anymore. Let’s not talk about Brandon anymore.

You’re right, and remember I am behind you hundred percent behind you.

Thank you, I said. I began to think about my past with my past years and the pain I caused myself and others involved. My first real boyfriend Eric Finch was such a sweet person. He was a star basketball player that had all the girls hollering at the games. Eric and I was a couple through high school years and had gone to the same college. We decided we wanted to go to the same college and would finish college together. I loved Eric but I began to get bored with him. It wasn’t that he didn’t satisfy me because he did but for some reason I just wanted more. I want to say college changed me, but it was all me. I know I messed up and couldn’t change the hurt I caused him.

My family as well as Shala thought Eric and I would have a big wedding and live happily ever after but things began to change between the two of us. No, I’ll say it right; I began to change on Eric.

The whole Brandon and I thing destroyed Eric and I relationship. I’d been seeing Brandon without telling my friends at first because I didn’t want any looks or comments. I didn’t want them to judge me for the wrong I knew I was doing. Brandon was a football player at Georgia Tech; I began messing with him while I was still with Eric. I’d been seeing him for a month but was too ashamed to tell my friends about it at first. I knew it was wrong but I didn’t care about Eric feelings. I wanted to find out if all the bragging about this Brandon was true. I’d seen him at parties and heard he was wanted by a lot of girls on not just my campus but other campuses around Atlanta. He was a fine ass man and every time he looked at me his eyes told me he wanted me. This was a secret I refused to be judged about, and I knew my girls would be disappointed in me. Everyone on the campus knew Brandon was a ladies man and he loved being with many women. When I first saw him I heard he liked to keep panties from the women he slept with and some of their pubic hair as well. Don’t ask me why but I was very intrigued by this man and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, which I can admit at this moment I was in my own little world.

Our official meeting happened at the school cafeteria, after all the eye contact I guess he decided to move in on me. Yes, I was with Eric at the time and I didn’t want to disrespect him in anyway, but I didn’t think there was anything wrong with looking and talking. He pursued me and it felt really good, since he was such a star already. It made me feel like I was special when I was getting his attention. I fell for the obvious net he’d laid out for me. I thought he wanted to know things about me because we talked plenty of times, so we can know about each other. I can’t believe how I conned myself into believing we would only be friends at first. That was a lie as soon as it entered my mind. The lesson I learned was a fisherman knows what to put in the water to catch a fish, and men put their net out to capture their prey as well. I was so starved for attention not just any attention but attention from a sexy man.

It didn’t take long for us to become involved intimately. We talked for hours on the telephone and I thought it was neat how he made me laugh all the time. We started going places together and I always told him I had a boyfriend but he’d insist we were only friends hanging out. We met up a few time just to talk but our chemistry was too strong to just talk. One day he decided we could just sit in his room and talk and watch movies. We laughed and laughed at the movie ‘House Party’ then he slipped the movie ‘Love Jones’ in on me. That did it for me, I loved this movie and it put me right in the mood. Brandon began kissing me, and it felt so good all over. I didn’t try and stop him. We embraced while kissing and he lay me down on his bed. As Brandon began to undress me and push me against the bed picking up my leg and kissing me intensely. I grew more and more impatient. I wanted to rip my clothes off and get down to him tasting me and making me have multiple orgasms. He started from the bottom with kissing my legs while sliding his hand up and down them. I loved the way he eased up to my belly placing his kisses all over my stomach with small bites that really drove me crazy for his loving. I lay across his bed and I was really enjoying his kisses up and down my body. My mind kept saying come on and go back down there. When was he going to eat his dessert? As I grew tinglier he eased down to my vagina, tasting and kissing the lips like he was analyzing what exactly he would do to me that would throw me over the top.

Looking good, Chelle, he said as he looked at my vagina lips.

I never corrected him on that name. I didn’t like when Brandon called me that, every sense I started with him he’d call me Chelle instead of Tree or Trechelle. I didn’t need him giving me another name. He looked at my vagina as if he admired it. I did like that, no other guy ever did that.

Is that right, I questioned.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop once I get started.

Then don’t stop, I quickly said.

He began sucking on my clit with intensity; I gasped and held my breath. He was really good. He suck it so hard it began to swell and I knew my climax would be coming really soon. It really blew my mind with his eating of vagina. As he sucked he eased his fingers inside of my awaiting juicy wet vagina. I threw my head back and moaned loudly. I was tired of holding my breath, I had to let him know I loved with he was doing to me.

That feels so good, Brandon, I said between moans.

Good I want to do my job correct with no complaints.

I thought to myself he’s pretty cocky but he was really good at what he was doing so I continued to enjoy his special attention. Once he stopped and eased up to my face with kisses, I felt him going inside of me. I didn’t get to see what he had to offer but I sure did feel it. The thought of condoms were not on my mind. I enjoyed his love as he turned me into different positions I’d only seen in Karma Sutra. I was very impressed with his skills. He left me satisfied.

Brandon was a like a drug to me that I had to have almost every day. I think I picked a fight with Eric just to have an excuse to get out and be with Brandon. Of course our little fling didn’t last especially since he was only trying to add me to his already full list of conquest. I rationalized my cheating was due to Eric not doing what I needed. I grew tired of Eric and even though I knew it was wrong I didn’t care. Our little friend tryst lasted a month or so.

Hi, I said quickly as I went to Eric dorm room. He didn’t look too happy at the time. I could sense it so I asked him did he want me to leave. I wasn’t trying to hear no bullshit from Eric even though I hadn’t heard from Brandon in weeks.

Um, I was sitting here and I couldn’t get my mind around what I was told today. I loved you with all my heart I and this is what you do to me.

What the hell are you talking about, I questioned already knowing the answer.

You cheated on me that’s what I’m talking about, he said as his bottom lip quivered.

No I really don’t know what you are talking about but you already know you better not talk to me crazy because we’ll have problems.

We already have a problem, because your fucking Brandon is everywhere. Do you know how the news mad me feel? I thought it would be you and I.

"You were never one for gossip so why do you