A Manager's Guide to Coaching: Simple and Effective Ways to Get the Best From Your People

By Anne Loehr and Brian Emerson

To stay on top, companies need to do more than just tread water—they need to grow. And that means that their employees need to develop and improve their skills at the same pace. More than ever, managers are being encouraged to improve employee performance through effective coaching, but so few of them have the time—or the knowledge—it takes to do it successfully. Brian Emerson and Ann Loehr have spent years showing some of the country’s top companies how to develop their most promising employees. Now in this helpful manual they guide managers through every step of the coaching process, from problem solving to developing accountability. Readers will discover:the top 10 tips every manager should know before he starts to coach • how to handle difficult conversations, conflicting priorities, and problem team members • how to hold follow-up meetings after goals and priorities have been set • sample questions they can adapt to various situations • examples of common problems and how they can use coaching to address them.Clear, practical and straightforward, this is an invaluable tool that will help all leaders coach employees, colleagues, and themselves to excellence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Release date: Apr 2, 2008
• ISBN: 9780814410813

Anne Loehr

Anne Loehr (Washington, D.C.) are certified executive coaches and cofounders of Safaris for the Soul, leadership development retreats in Kenya, Patagonia, and Iceland.

Book preview

Acknowledgments

To be a coach requires one to have a desire to see another succeed. In that respect, we have had many coaches in our lives to whom we are greatly indebted. Some have been supportive, some have helped us learn, and some have helped us time and time again to overcome the hurdle that is ourselves. To all of them, we say thank you for the role you played in not only shaping this book, but in shaping us as well. To name them all would be an impossible feat, but there are some who deserve special mention in conjunction with this project.

Thank you to our clients (individuals and organizations) with whom we learn and in whom we believe.

Thank you to our colleagues and partners in learning—especially David Coleman, Amy Levine, Chuck Miller, Leah Rampy, Lisa Silverberg, and Jerren Pellicano for their input, review, and assistance in completing this work.

Thank you to Grace Freedson and Christina Parisi our agent and editor, respectively, who guided us through this new and exciting experience.

Thank you to our parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews who have coached and loved us unceasingly throughout the years.

Finally, thank you to Ariana, Neel, and Stephen for their unending support of this project and of us as people. We hope you know that we believe in you just as much as you believe in us.

1

Getting the Best from Employees

If you’re not growing, you’re dying.

It’s a basic rule of life here on earth and in the business world today. It’s what drives most of us to be better at what we do and who we are. It’s the desire to be more. Because of this desire, the term coaching has caught the attention of both the personal-growth and business worlds, creating a multibillion-dollar-a-year industry and a situation in which everyone wants a coach. More than ever, employees are asking for developmental opportunities and managers are being told they need to coach their employees on a regular basis. We’ve even worked with managers who say they’ve been told to stop managing and start coaching. This all sounds great in theory—managers coaching employees to grow and be more effective—but there’s one problem. Although many people agree that having a coach is a great way to move toward success, very few people know what a coach actually is or what a coach actually does. This leaves many managers scratching their heads as they try to fit one more ambiguous task into their already over-busy schedules.

So what is a coach, and what is coaching? This is our definition: A coach is someone who helps another person reach higher effectiveness by creating a dialogue that leads to awareness and action. By creating the space to step back, look in the mirror, and grapple with the tough questions, a coach helps a person examine and deal with their reactions to obstacles and, in a sense, get out of their own way as they achieve better results, in a more efficient manner.

But why is this important? Why is helping a person deal with their own personal obstacles so necessary? Why can’t people just focus on the task at hand and put all that other emotional stuff to the side? The answer, much to the chagrin of many people and managers, is that as humans, we don’t have a choice. If we are going to grow, be more, and reach higher levels of effectiveness, we have to spend time learning how to clear one of the biggest hurdles of success—our own emotional baggage.

THE SUCCESS EQUATION

When we are faced with a task (in business, or any aspect of life), there are three things that we need to be as successful as possible:

• Aptitude—the know-how, skills, and capacity to complete the task at hand

• Attitude—the drive, confidence, focus, and determination to complete the task at hand

• Available Resources—the tools, equipment, and time needed to complete the task at hand

Without these three components, we cannot be at the top of our game. The degree to which each of them does or does not exist directly contributes or detracts from our ultimate level of success. It can be thought of as an equation with variable components.

Start with Aptitude, the most obvious component of the equation. Without the proper skills and know-how (Aptitude) to complete a task, we are left scratching our head and frustrated. Think of a kid on her birthday receiving her first shiny, new bike. She has the determination and excitement (Attitude) to ride her new wheels (Available Resources), but she lacks the skill and ability (Aptitude) to go whizzing down the street as she envisions. After two or three wipeouts, you end up with a frustrated little birthday girl.

Just as crucial to the equation is having the Available Resources to complete the task. Think of the last time your team at work had a great idea or new approach to accomplishing success—but you lacked the budget, time, or people power to execute it. You had the capacity to figure out a new solution (Aptitude), the drive and confidence to make it a reality (Attitude), but lacked the money or people (Available Resources) to pull it off. Not a fun place to be in, by any stretch of the imagination.

As managers, and people, we are comfortable and see the need to focus on Aptitude and Available Resources. When things aren’t working in the office, managers are often very willing to train people in new skills or throw more money at the problem. However, it’s the middle part of the Success Equation—the keystone if you will—that most people tend to overlook, forget about, or outright ignore. Attitude refers to things like the drive, confidence, focus, chutzpah, enthusiasm, grit, determination, need, desire, fortitude, and inspiration to accomplish the task at hand. Although difficult to measure and manage, without the right Attitude, having only the Aptitude and Available Resources will get you nowhere. Unfortunately, managers often say things like, why can’t people just do their jobs and leave all that other stuff at home. Well, people don’t leave all that other stuff at home because as humans, we can’t. Understandably, many managers wish that this was not the case, because managing would be immensely easier if people could really check their emotions at the door. We get it, and, unfortunately, it’s not possible. Think of the times your work day has been affected because you were ill, or you had a fight with a family member. This doesn’t even include the events that happen at work. When rumors of a downsizing start in an organization, how many people are able to completely check their emotional reaction to the news and focus 100% on their work? Not many. So, for better or worse, managers have to accept that our Attitude affects our Level of Success, and focusing on it is more than a nice thing to do. Like it or not, Attitude is hardwired into the Success Equation for humans, and not just as a variable on the periphery. Attitude is perhaps the most vital component in the entire equation, and focusing on it is a manager’s business imperative.

Hardline business people are often most comfortable thinking of this in terms of sporting analogies. Anyone who has played sports has probably been told at one time or another to get your head in the game, focus, get psyched up, or don’t think that you can’t beat these guys! Sports coaches know that the confidence, drive, and determination (the Attitude) of their athletes can make all the difference between playing and winning.

Champions aren’t made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them—a desire, a dream, a vision.

—Muhammad Ali, American Boxer

http://www.famous-quotes-and-quotations.com/sports-quote.html

When a consistent athlete has a bad day, we say they were off their game or that they completely psyched themselves out. But what’s changed in the Success Equation? They have the same skills and ability that they had when they won the game last week. Assuming that they are healthy, rested, physically fit, and that their equipment is in working order, then the variable in the equation has to be the athlete’s Attitude—their focus, confidence, determination, or desire.

As Attitude shifts and drops, the result is a shift in the level of success—and this decrease can be the difference between winning and losing.

Good sports coaches know that the key to working with top athletes is focusing on the Attitude piece of the success equation—not because focusing on this stuff makes people feel good and is a nice thing to do, but because the Level of Success depends on it. Attitude is the keystone in the success equation that can affect the Level of Success in exponential ways. Let’s examine three of the reasons why this is true and how managers get in trouble by ignoring the Attitude component of the equation.

• Improved Attitude can compensate for deficiencies in Aptitude or Resources.

• A decrease in Aptitude or Resources often negatively affects Attitude, which can further hinder the Level of Success.

• The converse of the above is not true—A negative Attitude does not decrease the level of Aptitude or Resources.

Let’s take a look at each of these individually.

Improved Attitude can compensate for deficiencies in Aptitude or Resources.

The first point above is what leads some to say that Attitude is the make-or-break factor of the success equation. Think of the multiple stories of athletes who have suffered an injury but upped their determination and grit to produce highly successful results. Kerri Strug, the gymnast in the 1996 Olympic Games who completed (and nailed) her final vault with two torn ligaments in her ankle is a perfect example—and there are thousands of others. This rule holds true outside of the sports world as well—it’s evident in all aspects of our life and the business world. When faced with a lack of Aptitude or Resources, people will often dig deep to find the extra determination they need to win in a big way. Viewed in this manner, it is unarguable that Attitude is a central, and powerful, part of the success equation.

A decrease in Aptitude or Resources often negatively affects Attitude, which can further hinder the Level of Success.

Attitude is the only piece of the success equation that is directly affected by a shift in the other two components. Suppose John is leading a successful project at work.

He has a high level of Aptitude and Attitude and is utilizing the Available Resources that he needs to reach a high level of success. Then, as is often the case, something changes. Assume that John loses two people on his team and finds out that the project deadline has been moved up a month earlier because of client demands. Obviously, fewer people and less time affect the Available Resources part of the equation, which in turn lowers the Level of Success.

What is interesting about the Attitude component of the equation is the degree to which it is affected by a shift in the other components. As the project continues with increasing time pressure and fewer people power, it is understandable that John could become more frustrated and less confident in the success of the project. At the very least, he has more to do with less bandwidth which results in less focus. This shift in Attitude could further hinder the overall success of the project.

Shifting Available Resources can directly affect Attitude. The same holds true with Aptitude. Think back to the example of the birthday girl and her new bike. She lacks the skills and know-how to ride the bike, and as a result, she is frustrated and unconfident. Now, before she can really learn the skills she needs to ride the bike, she has to overcome her frustration and be confident enough to try again. The same holds true for adults in the workplace. When an employee lacks the skills and ability to complete a certain aspect of a task, chances are their confidence and level of frustration will also be affected in the process. Thus, the ultimate Level of Success is affected in an exponential manner.

The converse of the above is not true—A negative Attitude does not decrease the level of Aptitude or Resources.

The third point outlined above is as vital as the first two. Assume Ariana is a highly skilled and focused employee who experiences high levels of success in her job.

One day, rumors begin to swirl that a downsizing is going to take place in the next 9–12 months and Ariana hears through the grapevine that her position will be eliminated. These rumors obviously change the success equation—but in only one area—Attitude. Ariana’s drive, confidence, and focus may be negatively affected by the situation, which may decrease her level of success.

However, unlike the previous example of John, this impact or shift in the Attitude component of the equation does not, in any way, affect the other components of the equation. Ariana’s dip in Attitude does not lower or change her Aptitude or her Available Resources. Additionally, unlike the athlete who can compensate for a lower part of the equation by upping his Attitude, as long as Ariana’s Attitude is negatively affected, there is nothing that additional Aptitude or Available Resources can do to raise her Level of Success.

Again, Attitude is the keystone in the success equation.

All of these factors combined make learning how to improve someone’s Attitude an extremely important skill. Managers need to be aware of, work to manage, and learn to develop the Attitude (the determination, motivation, focus, drive, confidence) of their employees.

We work with many managers who respond at this point by saying something like, Yeah, but why do I need to take the time to worry about coaching my employees? I have enough on my plate already, and this coaching fad is a time-intensive process that doesn’t directly contribute to the bottom line.

If you think you don’t need to be coaching as a manager, think again. As a manager, one of the most important business imperatives you have is managing and developing the talent of your organization. If you don’t, chances are that talent will go elsewhere, which costs your organization a lot of money. The cost to replace an employee is higher than you might think—up to 1.5–2 times their annual salary. Think about it, the money adds up—the lost productivity as the person is leaving and while the position is vacant, the time and money associated with recruiting, interviewing, and other human resources functions, and finally, the cost of lost productivity as a new person is trained and gets up to speed. All of this plus there is quite a good chance that the new employee will not even work out!

Poor management results in huge costs to an organization. A disturbing truth for managers is that most of the time, when people quit their jobs, they are not leaving an organization; they are leaving their manager. Research has shown that the most common reason employees leave a company has to do with their relationship with their immediate supervisor.¹ As much as organizations don’t like to admit it, people leave as a direct result of something that their manager is, or is not, doing.

Another reason people leave their job is lack of developmental opportunities. People want to be developed. Gen X-ers (born after 1965) and Gen Y-ers (born between 1981 and 1995) consistently cite the opportunity to develop as one of the key indicators of job satisfaction, and they consistently turn to their managers for that opportunity. Charlotte Shelton and Laura Shelton, authors of The NeXt Revolution, asked 1,200 Gen-X employees to rank, in order of importance, their most important job characteristics. The top three characteristics were positive relationships with colleagues, interesting work, and continuous opportunities for learning.² They want to be exposed to new things that push their boundaries and make them more employable in the future. For this to happen, and for these employees to reach high Levels of Success, managers must be tuned in to not only increasing the Aptitude of these employees, but they must also be keenly aware of and help develop the Attitudes of these employees as well. If employees are really going to develop and excel, their managers must help enhance their confidence, motivation, determination, energy, and focus as they learn increasingly complex skills.

When broken down, it’s hard to refute the fact that taking the time to manage and develop the talent of one’s employees is a critical business imperative for managers of all levels. To do so, one must focus on the entire Success Equation—Aptitude, Attitude, and Available Resources. Because Attitude is the keystone of success, to effectively develop their employees, managers