Our Lady's Army: Our Lady of Joy, #5

By Valery Keith

Book 5 in the Our Lady of Joy series. 

Now back in the Western Marches and reunited with her family and beloved pets, Lira continues to recover from her time away, diligently safeguarded by her Wolf.  While the girl he loves continues to heal, Rease focuses on rebuilding her confidence even as he builds even greater public support for Our Lady of Joy, determined as he is to ensure her safety in the coming conflict. But even as his daughter recovers, Jonas finds his worries have not disappeared entirely as he discovers that Rease’s previous assassination of the Chancellor has only added to the toxic relationship between nations as the Western Marches begins to ready itself for war.

Suddenly burdened with the idea of using an innocent child as a weapon once he learns of Millie Weymine’s affinity, Thomas struggles once more to balance the man he wishes to be with the role he must play as Our Lady’s Warlord. Newly arrived to Our Lady’s service, Jebseg Bayajin finds himself challenged to become more than the weapon he was raised to be as he begins to experience a very different kind of life than he had expected.  As Hanna and Blake move their relationship to the next level, Iranti focuses only on her role as a Seer to learn all she can of the coming war, hopeful that it might make a difference.

Yet even as more people arrive to aid Our Lady and her family against the gathering dark, the prophesy continues to shape their fate as the clock continues ticking down to the final confrontation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Valery Keith
• Release date: Dec 8, 2015
• ISBN: 9781944535049

Book preview

Chapter One

She was actually jealous of a little kid, Lira realized in complete shock.

But no wonder.

Look at that.

As far as she was concerned, no one could really blame her for feeling like that, since the little kid in question, Millie Weymine, was riding her small brown pony inside the house at Weymine Manor. And Millie was not just riding inside the house, but down the main stairs from the second floor of the house to the main foyer in which they were currently standing. As Lira watched, the pony slowly and carefully navigated the stairs without so much as a halter by which Millie might be controlling him. Lira turned to look at Rease in amazement, grateful she had given a Blessing while at the inn last night so that no one could tell how she felt.

She’s an Animal Conduit.

That’s awesome.

I am so jealous.

I told you that being Our Lady of Joy sucked, she blurted out. I want to be Millie instead.

Rease grinned at her.

I can see that, he teased. You would never need to walk again. You could nap and still get something done at the same time. How efficient. When you woke up, you could already be at dinner. Think of how much time you would save.

Oh, hush, you, Lira replied affectionately. I think it would be amazing to do that.

By then, Millie had reached them to Night’s obvious joy as he pranced about, his tail waving madly.

Hello, Lira! she cried, sliding off her pony, who simply stood there placidly. Hello, Night, she said, patting Lira’s dog on the head so that he stilled momentarily. Then she glanced at Rease, her eyes narrowing slightly and her tone much cooler. Hello, Rease.

Clearly amused from his expression, Rease smiled at the little girl. Watching him, it was all Lira could do not to kiss him right here in front of everyone, he was so cute.

Oh, my God, listen to me.

Love has made me positively moronic.

Luckily, I have some experience with that.

Are you mad at me, Millie? Rease asked gently. You don’t seem very happy to see me. Did I do something to upset you when we last visited you at Rosehill?

Millie looked at him for a moment before answering, her eyes still narrowed.

You made Lira cry the last time I saw you, she said, sounding several decades older than she was. I didn’t like that. This is not Rosehill. I don’t want you to do that again here.

She’s adorable and slightly scary at the same time.

He doesn’t, Millie, Lira said quickly, trying not to smile. We only fought then because we didn’t know each other very well. We don’t fight now and Rease doesn’t make me cry.

Oh, Millie said, looking pleased. All right, then. Then she smiled brightly at Lira. So he’s a nice boy now?

He’s a very nice boy now, Lira assured her, doing her best to keep a straight face and not look at Rease. I like him so much that I titled him as my Wolf and made him my Consort.

I know, Millie said, waving her hand dismissively, once again looking and sounding disturbingly adult and less than impressed with Rease’s new credentials. I heard. She eyed Rease. But I also heard he rescued you from those Marcher pigs who took you, so that’s good.

Millie, her father Marcus exclaimed, his tone displeased. That’s not a very nice thing to say about people you don’t even know.

Surprised, Millie looked at her father.

Oh, so I can only call them that when I’m a grownup? she asked curiously. Because all the adults call them that, Poppa. Did you not know that? You don’t, but everyone else does.

From behind her, Lira’s brother Benjamin, also a Weymine, snorted into his hands as his uncle Marcus hastened to explain.

We don’t use that term in polite company, Millie, he said quickly.

Millie looked at him, clearly unimpressed.

I remember Lira’s last visit very well, she stated calmly. I don’t really think she’s polite company.

Lira burst into giggles, hearing Rease chuckling along right beside her. Marcus made a choked noise, then leaned over his daughter. As he whispered urgently in her ear, Millie turned sad eyes to Lira.

I’m sorry, Lira, she said mournfully. I misspoke. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.

You didn’t Millie, Lira assured her cheerfully, biting her the inside of her lip gently to stop laughing. I’m just completely jealous of your amazing pony. I want one like that.

Upon hearing her pony complimented, Millie’s expression of misery dropped away completely.

He’s beautiful, isn’t he? she said dreamily, stroking the neck of the plump, shaggy pony still calmly standing there. He’s been very good with me on the stairs. He likes to run up and down them, but I won’t let him do that with me. He slips too much. I get scared.

Lira looked at her wonderingly a moment.

Millie, how do you get him to do that? she asked.

Oh, I just ask him to, Millie said, as if surprised by Lira’s question.

Imagine that.

You can just make him do whatever you want? Lira asked in awe.

Millie frowned, her face mistrustful, then it smoothed out again.

No, I won’t do that, she said firmly. I just ask.

So you just ask him to walk slowly up and down the stairs while carrying you, Lira said, still amazed, inside the house and he does? How does that even work?

Like this, Millie said.

Then she turned to look at the little pony and smiled.

To Lira’s complete surprise, the pony wheeled away from them and scrambled madly up the stairs, legs flying as its hooves slipped and clattered on the smooth surface. In response, the pony went faster, leaping up the stairs as if defying gravity until it reached the top, where it pranced for a moment in obvious pride before tearing back down the stair, causing them all to back away as it careened down like it might fall. It tucked its hind end as it hit the foyer, sliding to a stop right by Millie.

It looked at Millie for a moment, then spun at a trot, moving for the door. As Lira watched, the foyer silent but for the sound of hooves on marble, the footman swung the door open and the pony trotted out. The door swung shut and Lira spoke into the sudden silence.

That’s amazing, Millie, she said breathlessly. Where’s he going?

Oh, he wants a drink and he has to poop, Millie said casually. Poppa said he’s not allowed to poop inside the house and if he does, he can’t come back in. So he goes outside for that.

Lira couldn’t help it. She burst into laughter, finding the practical aspects of Millie’s affinity really funny. Besides, she shouldn’t be envious of a child, no matter how fabulous the affinity. After all, she was Our Lady of Joy, the second of only two Emotion Conduits in this world and the only well-loved one even in that short list.

Conduits, women with a special paranormal skill called an affinity, were most commonly associated with manipulation of the elements in this reality, such as fire, air, earth and water or the precognitive skills displayed by Seers. The Element Conduits kept society calm and compliant by providing all the resources necessary in a variety of industries from trade, farming, mining and manufacture, while Seers helped their world’s leaders steer clear of bad decisions. So both those types of Conduits were familiar to people, even though Seers were relatively rare and largely kept sheltered from the public.

But being Our Lady of Joy, Lira was unique. In addition to people experiencing physical reactions to her emotions, she could collect, intensify and then share her feelings over a wide geographic area, a phenomenon known as a Blessing. Once she had given one, those feelings she had broadcast were consistently felt while her immediate feelings remained concealed until the effect finally faded days later. In the meantime, those positive feelings inspired and comforted the people, which resulted in increased production and cooperation.

So she was valuable. Highly valuable. And with that value and notoriety came risk.

Lots of it, as she had found out not so long ago. It had been more than a year ago now when she first had been kidnapped by mercenaries intent on making a profit with her sale to another nation. So they had sold her to the Chancellor of the Marches as if she were nothing more than an animal. For more than nine months, Lira had been a prisoner and while her prison had been rather more luxurious than the average one, it had still been a prison in which she was considered nothing more than a resource, a tool by which economic gain and social power could be increased. Like all Conduits, she would serve, her new master had believed, whether or not she wished to. After all, being a prisoner, her wishes were immaterial in his eyes.

But not in hers.

Reasoning that she had the right to self-defense just like everyone else, Lira had fought with everything in her power to preserve her independence and protect herself, just like anyone would, turning herself into a complete mess in the process and doing some pretty awful things. But still, keeping her prisoner had cost that rival nation dearly, a vindictive little fact that always brought her joy when she thought about it. She didn’t particularly care if such thoughts revealed her as a bad person.

Even now, she felt she was owed every last little malicious pleasure she could find at their expense, and her attitude about that had been even worse when she was there. She had forced the city into a state of martial readiness as the soldiers had attempted to control the populace while Lira’s rage and pain drove them to rioting, assault and murder. It wasn’t even that she had wanted to hurt anyone, as much as she had not been able to suppress the way she had felt, and being the victim in that scenario, she didn’t see why she should have to.

So she had shared it all with them.

And even though she had known that her fury and refusal to surrender gracefully were the very reasons that she had found herself without allies and at great risk later, she had not backed down. She could not, even if she had wanted to. By then, Lira had charted a course from which she could see no escape. So she had kept fighting, eventually killing her newly assigned Guardian Anton after a spectacular beating delivered at his hands with the promise of much worse and threatening to do the same to the Chancellor himself.

At that point, Lira had barely felt human anymore.

Instead, she had felt like the sole unicorn hunted by those intent only on its horn, completely unconcerned that it was the last of its kind and for their possession of that horn, the world would forever be lessened by the loss of the creature meant to carry it. The Chancellor hadn’t cared that he would eventually kill her, trading her from one prison to another while she stopped eating for fear of being drugged. He had been as indifferent to that as the hunters were about leaving the unicorn’s mutilated body for the crows.

She had thought at times that she would die there and in the end, all that had mattered to her was that she took down as many bad people with her as she could before that happened. By then, Lira had been a little unhinged and no longer the best judge of moral actions, so she had decided to just kill anyone who tried to hurt her again and burn down everything around right after she did. She hadn’t cared if she burned down an entire city with all its inhabitants by then.

Thinking of it now, she wondered if she hadn’t been a little bit crazy at that point because now, such an idea seemed insane. But still, had things not gone as they had, she had no doubt she would have done exactly that if pushed. But fortunately, right before she was to be auctioned off to one of the Chancellor’s allies to recover the cost of her abduction and disappointing residency, her Guardian and boyfriend Rease had rescued her.

Rease.

Lira sighed as she thought about it. Without Rease, she had no idea what would have become of her in this world, unfamiliar and terrifying as it was. She had been seventeen when she was first brought here to this alternate dimension, knowing nothing about who she was and not even believing it when she was told. It was an absurd and fantastic idea to a girl who had been raised in the United States where people still lived at the mercy of the elements, that somewhere there were women who could control nature itself. And the idea that manipulating emotions was an even more powerful affinity than the ability to control fire had struck Lira as misguided at best. Or it had until she had learned a little bit more about what being an Emotion Conduit meant.

By and large, it was not encouraging.

There had been only one other Emotion Conduit in their world’s history, but her affinity had been tied to the negative emotions, such as pain, fear and grief, earning her the title Our Lady of Sorrow and a crossbow bolt through the forehead at fourteen. Being that she herself was called Our Lady of Joy and her affinity was tied to the best emotions like love and compassion, Lira was hopeful that she could avoid being assassinated. And even if she couldn’t, she was already nineteen, so at least she had outlasted the competition. Granted, she had been kidnapped and held in Europe, or the Marches as it was known here, so that sucked. But still, compared to being nailed in the head with an arrow like it was the world’s largest hat-pin, she felt pretty successful so far, even if she was still a tiny bit envious of a little girl, she thought with a smile now.

Besides, I got Rease and Night and my whole family in exchange.

So if I have to be a Conduit, Our Lady of Joy is the one to be.

When she thought about it like that, Lira couldn’t stop smiling.

perspective change glyph

Rease looked over at Lira as they walked through the garden at Weymine Manor.

She looked delighted, he thought, her face glowing as she looked around happily, Night at her hip. Occasionally her hand reached out and patted the dog gently, even as she continued to observe the landscape with a nostalgic smile, as if seeing an old friend. While she was still not entirely settled from her abduction, she was doing much better, he felt.

From the time he had rescued her, they had worked at it on her insistence. Since that meant he got to spend a lot of time lying around with her and cuddling her as if she were his newest kitten, he didn’t mind at all. Having been without her for so long, all he wanted to do was watch over her. If that meant holding her in his lap and stroking her face or arms as he did so that she could relearn what it felt like to be touched lovingly, that just made it better as far as he was concerned. And as time had worn on, she had improved as they both had hoped, her flinching and twitching slowing and finally receding to some degree until she was simply sensitive to things around her, not automatically frightened of them.

But there certainly were changes in her from her confinement, some of which he suspected might be permanent. Like many people who had survived being the victims of violence, she no longer trusted so easily and she now viewed strangers with a great deal of apprehension, far more than she used to. When Rease first had met her, crowds had made her uncomfortable in the way more introverted people often felt when confronted with the noise and agitation of large groups of people, which had made it a personality quirk, not an issue. But now, crowds actively frightened her unless she was cheerfully inebriated, a coping mechanism that held its own dangers, so Rease knew they still had some work to do on that in the coming months.

But overall, she looked distinctly happy, he noted as he glanced at her again, though the pleased expression she wore now was nothing compared to the look on her face when they had been shown to the chamber she had originally been given upon her arrival in this world. As she had looked around the room, taking in the vibrant jewel tones of the decor and the stained glass oil lamps hanging from the walls, she had looked like she might cry. When she had seen him looking at her in confusion and worry, she had given him a brilliant smile.

My dad and I have moved all over, she had said softly, her expression radiant, but we’ve never gone back to any place we’ve ever lived. I felt like this when we came back to Eastlake, like I can remember all these wonderful things about living here. She had smiled at him again, her eyes shining. We met here, Rease. We kissed for the first time here.

Actually, my licentious darling, I do believe the first time you assaulted me was up against the wall in the hallway, Rease had teased her, gently pulling her close. Not that I’m complaining.

Lira had giggled, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him firmly.

It’s so nice to be here again, she had said quietly, pulling back to look at him. Are you happy to be here? Does it feel like coming home?

Rease had smiled at her, thinking of how sweet she was.

This was never home, he had said softly. I was just waiting until I found my real home. He had dropped his voice to a whisper. With you.

Her expression had softened even more, then she had nestled closer.

You say the nicest things, she had murmured. I love you, My Wolf.

I love you, too, Princess, he had whispered in her ear as he had hugged her.

They had cuddled on the couch for a time, as they tended to do now. Both of them were still uneasy being separated or without physical contact for too long, even though it had been almost six months now since Rease had finally been able to successfully rescue her from the Marches, where she had been brought by mercenaries after being kidnapped from their residence in Isura Okun. Once abducted, Lira had been sold to the Chancellor, who had an outstanding and rather indiscreet open contract for her safe delivery. She had been taken from Rease and it had been more than nine months before he had been able to get her back, assassinating the Chancellor in the same visit to show the world what would happen to the next petty tyrant who attempted to steal Our Lady from her Wolf.

But until he had rescued her, Rease had found himself adrift without the constant affectionate contact that they had always enjoyed from the time they had first met. Now that she was back, he still had not had enough, he felt, reasoning that it was simply something necessary for his happiness. From the first night she had met him, Lira seemed to have known that, touching him with more kindness and affection than anyone had shown him in years. Inebriated from too much wine at dinner her very first night in this world, she had tangled her little fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and kissed him.

It had been such a small thing, he thought now as he strolled hand in hand with her, but it had been the single most providential moment in his adult life. She had shown him kindness and compassion and it had changed his life unimaginably. From that moment on, Rease’s fate was decided. He’d fought it at first, thinking he would simply manipulate her into the basest of relationships for his own gain, but before he knew it, he was wildly in love with her. Even better, he liked the man he was with her and the one he saw reflected in her eyes far more than he had ever liked himself since he had lost both his parents and come to the garrison as a child.

Before Lira had changed his life, Rease had been largely unhappy most of the time.

In response, he had thrown himself into training as a Guardian, finishing with the highest marks in his region. Having been firmly established as the garrison Challenge Night Champion for several years running before even finishing his Guardian training, Rease had thought that such a thing would finally allow him to escape the reputation for instability and violence that had characterized much of his childhood in the garrison, keeping him friendless and isolated. And it had, in a way.

To some small degree, at least.

While Rease had never been gleefully accepted by the garrison as a whole, the whispers which had dogged him had been just that and had not been loud enough to prevent him from succeeding in that single goal he had planned for since he had come to the garrison an orphan: becoming a Guardian. Those ugly whispers had kept him alone, but they had not destroyed his professional opportunities at least, so Rease had contented himself with the idea that he could still eventually escape to find a place where he belonged. When it had been all he could do not to howl and thrash in his bed at night from the pain of feeling so lost, he had told himself that he still had time to change his life and find his place in the world, that he was still on the right path, even if it was a longer, much more arduous trail than he had realized it would be. But he was still on it, so he had not failed yet, he had told himself every night before Lira had come into his life.

From the time he had arrived in the garrison as a ten-year-old orphan, his mother’s murder fresh in his memory, he had been drawn to the idea of being a Guardian. Not only was such a thing prestigious, as Guardians were chosen only from the best and brightest, but it would give him a new family, one he would be encouraged to protect with deadly force, as that was his entire purpose in many ways. The idea had struck him as the most obvious of solutions to his orphaned misery.

He would become a Guardian and select one who could act as his mother, he had decided. Unlike when his real mother had been attacked and he had been locked into the wardrobe to hear her being beaten to death, being a Guardian would allow him the weapons and skills to kill anyone who even bothered the woman he chose to be his new mother, let alone tried to harm her, he had thought with the logic of a child. He would never again lose what mattered to him, as everything he was would always be free to defend it with all the savage intensity of his wounded heart.

It was perfect.

So he had set his sights on becoming a Guardian and he had done just that. Only he had not received the older, maternal Conduit he had always hoped for and as was usually assigned to young Guardians to provide them with a steadying influence. Instead, he had been assigned to Lira long before she had even been in his world and when she had arrived, it had been clear that she was not interested in being his relative. No, the minute he had been kind to her, she had blushed and flirted as though she had no idea of his reputation.

Instead, she had looked at him as if he were wonderful, causing him to hatch the most nefarious of plots in an effort to manipulate her. Then she had kissed him again and he no longer had cared so much for manipulating her as he did about getting her to do it again and only with him. So instead of just trying to manipulate her, Rease also had set about trying to seduce her, which had been a complete disaster because he knew next to nothing about women and nothing at all about seduction.

And Lira wasn’t exactly a normal girl, he had to admit even now.

She had been raised in another reality, where people did things very differently it appeared, since Rease had finally puzzled out that while Lira would act all starry-eyed when he said outrageous things to her and even say equally racy things back, that was simply how she talked. It wasn’t a reflection of her experience with men and intimacy as he had assumed at first. When he had discovered that, he had remembered that he was five years older than she was and readjusted his expectations of how this might work between them. So when she had asked that he not push or pressure her in such a way when they first had become involved, he had happily agreed. Neither one of them had ever been involved with anyone else in any degree of seriousness, so it had made perfect sense to him that she might wish to be courted slowly and properly.

Never having courted anyone, he had found that he liked it as well.

So since then, he had done his best to be the man she needed across three continents. Looking at her now, he judged that he had done a good job so far. And as her recently named official Consort, he would have time and her exclusive attention so that he could continue doing so, as she now was romantically unavailable to anyone but him until she publicly announced otherwise through another decree. It was not marriage, having no legal obligations and being solely designed to socially elevate and protect the less advantaged partner, but it was still a very serious declaration, ensuring that everyone knew they were together and treated their relationship with respect.

Once Lira had realized that he was the one who would benefit with increased respect and that it placed no legal restrictions on her, she had been wildly enthusiastic about titling him her Consort. Completely in love with her and determined to safeguard her better than he had his mother, Rease had accepted with the dual pleasure of knowing both that Lira loved him just as much as he loved her and that everyone would now know the extent of his feelings for her and the potential fatality of attempting to step between them. Seeing how this all tied together so beautifully with his dramatic assassination of the Chancellor, Rease had been delighted with the timing and genuinely thrilled to tie himself more tightly to her.

He loved her so completely that he wanted to be with her forever and being named her Consort was a promise that she felt the same. When he thought about it now, he had never been happier. As if she knew what he had been thinking, Lira smiled at him.

You look happy, she said softly. I never get tired of seeing that. You must at least like being here. She frowned suddenly, looking contrite. I never asked you if you wanted to come. That was rude. I just announced we should do this and I never asked you for your opinion. That was badly done of me. Next time I won’t announce travel plans before I ask you what you think about it. I’m sorry.

Charmed by her concern for him, he smiled at her.

Don’t be sorry. I go where you go, he said amiably. That’s my job. Then he gave her a much darker smile. And my pleasure.

Delighted with his flirting as she always was, Lira giggled.

Mine, too, she teased back.

He smiled at her and swung their conjoined hands.

Are you still horribly jealous of Millie? he asked, smiling to show he meant no offense.

A little bit, she admitted with a wry grin. I just can’t help but think how much better it would be to control animals over having people react physically to how you feel. Plus, I could have the most amazing pets without fear of being eaten or mauled. I think it would be really fun.

And being Our Lady of Joy isn’t fun? he said, giving her a sympathetic pout.

He must have overdone it, because she smacked him gently on the arm.

Well, right up until that comment, you were the only really good thing about it, except maybe for Night, she grumbled, clearly trying not to laugh. But now, forget you. It’s obvious that the dog’s the only real benefit of this job.

That sounds like a challenge, Princess.

Rease looked at her for a moment, then he smiled, thinking about how he’d never slept with her in her bed here in the Manor. Then once he realized that, he was off on a different line of thought entirely, one in which they did all kinds of things in her bed that they’d never done previously while living at the Manor, either. While they were taking the redevelopment of that side of their relationship very slowly as she continued to heal from her time away and resulting issues, that didn’t mean they couldn’t still enjoy this visit, he thought, eyeing her. Suddenly, he was quite glad to be back here again as he gave her his most promising smile, delighted to see her eyes widen as she blushed in response.

Oh, I have faith that I can redeem myself at some point, he murmured. I’m quite certain of that.

To his delight, her eyes grew even wider.

perspective change glyph

Blake Weymine sat down across from his uncle Marcus, glad to see him.

You look good, Blake, Marcus said quietly. Happy. It’s nice to see you like this.

A welcome change from the last time you saw me, I suspect, Blake offered with a grin.

The last time the two of them had spoken in person had been when he had fled to Marcus after his initial attempt to seduce Hanna had backfired, leaving him completely disgusted with himself for his perceived weakness in trusting her. Having been raised by a mother so lacking in empathy that she had killed almost thirty Conduits to reach Lira where she had been hidden in another reality, Blake had been something of a mess when he had last spoken to Marcus. He had been reeling from how he had felt looking down at Hanna in his bed, the way something sweet and warm and completely foreign had been smothering him at the sight, so he had panicked and fled to his Uncle.

That had turned out to be the best decision he had ever made, despite how it had hurt Hanna.

He hadn’t even known what he had expected to accomplish when he had raced away from Eastlake, Hanna’s family home, but what he had done was change his life. When he had finally spoken honestly with his uncle about how he felt about his life and all that his mother had taught him, he had been shocked to find that his uncle disagreed entirely with his mother. Instead of being disappointed in him, his uncle Marcus had supported and approved of Blake’s desire to live a life of honor and integrity, not one filled with power and the endless manipulation to acquire more. Even more, he had told Blake that he believed his nephew to be a decent, moral man who need only follow his heart to live a good life.

It had been a revelation that had changed Blake on an elemental level.

Finally believing that he was a good man and there was only honor and pride to be found in acting as such regardless of the outcome, Blake had raced back to Eastlake, intent on being this new man with Hanna. Hanna, however, had other ideas. Furious at his flight the morning after he finally had seduced her, she had stopped speaking to him for months, acting like he did not exist. But that hadn’t stopped Blake, who had been chasing her ever since then. He still hadn’t caught her again, but to date, hunting his little fox had been the most interesting thing he had ever done, so he just kept trying.

And along the way, he had discovered that he was in love with her.

But Hanna was a cynical young woman when it came to love, so he had never told her. Instead, he tried to show her, reasoning that she would never believe it anyway if he said it. He had lied to her in the past and she knew it. And while he had not lied to her since spending the night with her and vowing to become this new man of honor and integrity, he had been deceptive enough prior that it seemed only sensible for her to consider his declarations false. So he tried to prove it by being her friend while still making it clear that he wanted to be far more to her. While such a strategy was not the fastest one, it did appear to be working, even if she had spent much of the time since eyeing him warily and running.

But despite her reluctance and caution, he had done well enough that he and Hanna were currently at a stalemate, in which neither one of them would discuss the last conversation they had about their relationship, during which Hanna had propositioned him for a six month stint as her lover while drunk. She’d started out asking for three months and he’d tried to get her to agree to two years. He had been pretty sure she would never agree to such a lengthy promise, but he had reasoned that even if she refused, there was the added bonus of infuriating her.

And so he had, Blake thought fondly now, smiling at the memory. They had settled on six months, but then Hanna had gotten even drunker and more belligerent, as if she deeply regretted what she had agreed to. Not liking the way she had been viewing their relationship, as it had appeared to be solely though the dual lenses of fury and despondency, Blake had reneged on the agreement that same night, telling her that he would not agree to anything until they could discuss it while she was sober, much to her dismay.

Since then, she had said nothing and Blake knew better than to raise the topic.

A horseman by both birth and training, Blake considered Hanna the human equivalent of a boss mare, and he knew better than to push one of those ladies. In his experience, boss mares responded best to being treated respectfully or they would retaliate, sometimes unexpectedly. Once agitated, they did not back down easily as befits the strong personality required by the dominant role they played in the herd. Having risen to the position by having a strong enough will to socially and physically control all the other horses in the herd, some of whom might be significantly bigger, boss mares controlled their worlds and understood even their interactions with humans in a similar light. So years in the stable had taught him that strong-willed mares should be asked for their compliance and guided into the desired actions, not bullied, harassed or pushed.

After all, in the end, they were well worth the time and effort.

Given a steady, compassionate and confident handler, such mares would be among the finest horses, those resolute hearts making them the boldest and bravest under saddle. But pushed, threatened and forced into compliance, those same greathearted horses would fight as long as they could, vainly trying to be what their nature demanded even against insurmountable odds, damaging themselves and sometimes their handlers past redemption. Then, broken past the fight, they would be sad, scarred shadows of the horses they should have been, assuming they even survived that long.

Like any creature forced into a life for which its essential nature is not suited, those mares in the wrong hands would be punished for having been born with a temperament incompatible with the demands of those in power. Incapable of being anything but what they were even as they wished to please their abusers, they could not submit. So they were punished, roughly handled or even beaten for no reason they would ever understand.

Since they did not understand, the violence appeared random, unprovoked and unpredictable to them, so that they knew only a constant lurking fear and anger each time they saw a person again. Once they were treated like that, they were never the same again. They could no longer trust or believe in anything but fear and pain without years of rehabilitation.

Knowing that, Blake never pushed Hanna.

He chased her diligently, but never in such a way as to scare her. As he might take hours to catch a reluctant horse by simply walking behind it all through a large pasture while it exhausted itself in evading him at high speeds, so he trailed along, chasing Hanna in the most benign ways. Just as he knew the horse would eventually tire and seeing no threat from the calm presence always around, finally stand to be approached, so he hoped that Hanna would eventually accept that he loved her.

And while it had been a very long-term plan as such things go, since he had spent well over a year now still trying to win her over, Blake didn’t really mind. To date, this was the most fascinating thing that had ever happened to him, so he didn’t care how long it took. He had never been in love before, only to fall for Hanna, who thought love always resulted in pain and wanted nothing to do with it. Considering it like that from a practical angle, Blake was rather astonished that he had accomplished as much progress as he had, he thought now with a grin as he looked back at Marcus.

I saw that your Hanna came along, Marcus said, smiling back. Is that the reason for your happiness?

Part of it, Blake admitted. But mostly, I have you to thank.

Me? Marcus asked, honestly surprised. What did I do?

You told me what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it, Blake replied, still smiling. It meant the world to me at the time and it still does.

Marcus looked delighted, a wide smile breaking across his face.

I am so glad, he said sincerely. Your time away has been good for you. He paused for a moment. I have not had a chance to speak with Benjamin yet, but he looks happier as well. It seems that Jonas has taken his promise to look out for both of you seriously.

He has, Blake said warmly. He’s been really good to both of us. He smiled before raising his brows in inquiry. But we’re here for Millie. How is she doing? She looked happy enough.

You know our Millie, Marcus said with a grin. She’s happy until she’s not and then she’s going to tell you all about it. He sobered. She loves this. I’m the one who’s a mess. She’s only seven, Blake. She’s a little girl and suddenly, she has this ability that honestly scares me. He shook his head wryly. I never thought about what it must be like for the parents of Conduits, to suddenly have a child who might do truly horrible things through no fault of her own.

Has something happened? Blake asked tentatively.

No, Marcus replied softly, which makes me feel even worse for considering it.

Have you talked to Millie about it? Blake asked gently.

A little, Marcus said, shrugging. She seems to understand that setting the dogs on someone is wrong, but she’s a child. I don’t know what could happen if she loses her temper. Children aren’t the best judges of the long-term consequences of their actions if upset enough. But at the same time, I’m not going to allow my daughter to turn into a spoiled little monster just to avoid upsetting her.

He looked at Blake, his worry painfully evident.

That’s why I asked Lira to come visit, he admitted. I thought maybe she could talk to Millie as well. I refuse to send her to the Academy. They wouldn’t know what to do with her anyway. She’s the first of her kind, to my knowledge.

Does the Academy know about her? Blake asked. Do they want her there?

Yes, Marcus answered, his tone clipped. As does the Order. The Academy Seer alerted them to Millie’s unique affinity, apparently.

Sensing that this was not a pleasant topic his uncle wished to discuss, Blake decided to steer the conversation a little more consciously.

I think Lira will be good for Millie, he said encouragingly. She’s a really nice person and maybe it will help Millie adjust.

Millie doesn’t need help adjusting, Marcus muttered. But I certainly do.

Before he could stop himself, Blake started to laugh.

perspective change glyph

Jonas was sitting on the couch when Dove bustled back into their new chamber.

He couldn’t complain about their rooms, he thought as he smiled at her. She had just come back from settling Ibukun, an orphan they had found in the marketplace in Isura Okun and subsequently adopted, into his own chamber. While Jonas had no idea what their adopted son’s assigned room looked like, theirs was lovely.

They’d been shown a large, airy set of rooms, beautifully decorated in vibrant blues and greens accented with touches of gold like sunlight filtered through water. He had unpacked their things, hanging clothes and folding them neatly into drawers. As he had, it had been strange to see Dove’s possessions nestled next to his own after living alone but for his daughter Lira for so long. Still, it had given him an odd sense of peace to unpack the books they had been reading, laying the correct one on each bedside table, knowing instinctively which side of the bed each of them would occupy. That he did not even have to consciously consider such things pleased him even more.

He was almost embarrassed by how much enjoyment he found in laying out the smallest details of their life together. It wasn’t that he lacked perspective or experience to find such things so very appealing, nor did he consider himself a sentimental man. Prior to meeting Lira’s mother Gwen, he had been the head of a criminal gang known as the Harvester, living a rather wild life when it came to women.

At least until he had met Gwen and fallen in love with her.

After she had died, he had been with other women once the worst of his grief had passed. He had dated and had affairs when the rare opportunities had occurred in the transient and emotionally remote life he had lived, but he had never lived with any other woman, nor had he loved another in all the years since Gwen’s death. Compared to keeping his daughter happy, healthy and safe, women had ranked rather low on his list of priorities, especially as Lira had gotten older and wiser to the things her father said and did.

So for years, he had been alone and while he could not say that he had enjoyed it, it had just been a fact of his life as much as having a child was. Like he had always needed to consider Lira in any decision he had made, so he had not needed to consider anyone but the two of them. He had told himself that so often when she had been growing up that it had been a simple fact, as much as the sun rising each day.

In Jonas’ world, there had been only two people for the longest time: him and his daughter.

He had chased Lira here after the Lord High Commissioner had stolen her, thinking only of rescuing his child. Then he had met Dove and soon enough, there was another person who mattered deeply to him. And while Dove had her share of issues related to being the victim of sexual violence as a teenager that made courting her a challenge, Jonas didn’t care.

He sincerely liked Dove as a person and as he had gotten to know her, he had liked what he had discovered more and more until he was head over heels in love with her. Understanding that her history would complicate things, he had simply abandoned any attempts to seduce her and just gently flirted with her instead, figuring that she would eventually feel comfortable enough to act, so he need not push her. His instincts had proven him right, as Dove had finally thrown all caution to the winds while they were waiting to rescue Lira, declaring that she was tired of waiting as she had literally leaped on him.

Since then, finally fully trusted and greatly loved by the woman he loved and trusted in return, Jonas had been happier than he could remember being since he had lived in this world the first time. His back might never be the same thanks to Dove, he often thought with a wicked smile, but it would be well worth it. Now, he watched her come into the room and gracefully settle next to him on the couch with a smile, thinking of how greatly he loved her and how deeply satisfied it made him to see her so relaxed and happy.

Did Ibukun like his new room? he asked as she nestled into him, pushing gently at his arm until he put it around her.

He did, Dove said softly. Marcus filled it with so many toys it’s a wonder he can find the bed under them all. Ibukun was delighted. She laughed quietly. I’m not even sure he noticed when I left, he was so busy.

Jonas chuckled, glad to hear their mutually adopted son was fine with this trip away from Eastlake, where they had been living since they had come back from the Marches with Lira.

I unpacked our things, he said softly. Is there anything you would like to do between now and evening meal? We could take a walk in the garden, if you’d like.

Dove arched a brow at him, her expression shifting into flirtation. When she spoke, her tone of voice made it clear that she wasn’t thinking about taking a walk at the moment.

We’re only a room away from a completely untested bed, you know, she murmured. Are you really sure the garden has the best view now that you’ve realized that?

Jonas smiled delightedly, once again liking his new life very much.

perspective change glyph

Hanna was skulking through the Manor garden like a complete coward.

Now that they were here, she was trying to avoid Blake, a skill she had honed after well more than a year of this odd back and forth between them. She didn’t even know what to call this thing happening with him, she thought in depression, except to know that it was going nowhere good. She knew Blake would eventually break her heart, so she had finally decided to just embrace her role with him as the stupidest woman alive. That meant something had to happen, even if it hastened her eventual heartbreak, because the waiting was almost as painful, but without any of the fun stuff that came first.

Not sure what else to do, Hanna had settled on drink as her method of false courage, a dubious option at best. Like many people who choose a similar path, she had discovered that, just as Blake had claimed, decision-making and alcohol never mix well. She had gotten completely legless and propositioned him while at a local festival, haggling like a shrewish merchant over how long she’d consider being his lover in an attempt to limit her potential pain. Once they had settled on the details, he had agreed and her misgivings had set in immediately, only strengthened by the great shame she had felt at having consented to her own future heartbreak so willingly. So she had gotten drunker and crankier as the day wore on, hoping that he would tell her that he had changed his mind.

And he had, but not because she had been so horrible to him.

Instead, his face positively morose with drunken regret, he had told her that he would not agree to their new arrangement because it obviously made her unhappy and risked their friendship. Seeing how worried and sad he had looked as he had explained that, Hanna had felt awful for putting that look on his face. So she had tried to explain that it wasn’t personal, but just how her life went. After that, they had passed out in mutual depression on a bench near the drink vendors and when she had woken up, Hanna had decided she was going to pretend that conversation had never happened.

So she had kept drinking.

By the time Blake had found her again, Hanna had been smashed enough that her determination to be cheerful had wiped that conversation from her mind, almost as if it had never occurred. So they had staggered home, passing out in her bed together like two friendly drunks. And as she had closed her unfocused eyes, she had not worried about a thing.

Then she had woken up.

Since that morning, when she had taken one look at Blake still sleeping in her bed and had been able to recall every word of that conversation perfectly, she had taken off like a wild thing being hunted. Blake had left her alone for weeks. But each time he saw her in passing or at meals, he had given her a polite smile and a look of absolute confidence as he had met her eyes that told her that he remembered every word of that discussion, as well.

That had been too much for Hanna.

So she had tried to avoid him even harder, taking the majority of meals in her room and allowing the gardening staff to weed her garden for her so that she could not be caught out in it. And it had worked so that she hadn’t even seen him in what felt like forever, right up until the day before they were scheduled to leave for Weymine Manor. Reasoning that everyone would be busy packing and taking care of any last minute concerns, she had slunk outside. Too cowardly even to brave the garden where she might be seen, she had scuttled to one of the potting sheds, assuming he would never think to look for her in there on such a beautiful day. She had contentedly rearranged some tools and had just stepped up to the potting bench to inspect a big stack of clay pots for cracks when she had felt someone step into her so that she had been pinned to the bench.

Blake.

The stack of pots had started to teeter from the force as she had leaped forward that smallest distance into the table and he had followed her. His hand had come around her to steady the pots and suddenly, she had been able to hear her heart thumping in her ears like a warning. But fully committed to actually earning that title as the stupidest woman alive, Hanna had done nothing but stand there as if paralyzed, her pulse jumping from his proximity. He had leaned into her with more pressure, until it was all she could do not to groan at how good it had felt. His arms had slowly come around her waist, as if he were offering her the chance to stop him. When she had done nothing but breathe more rapidly, he had tightened his arms and dropped his mouth to her ear, nudging her hair aside to whisper.

We don’t have to have that conversation now, love, he had said, his voice low and kind. But unless you tell me that you’re done with me, I’m not letting you continue to hide. You had your time to make it clear that you don’t want to have that discussion, so we won’t. He had paused briefly. Not now, at least. But I won’t allow you to disappear on me unless you mean it for real. Is that what this means, Hanna? Do you want me to stop chasing you for good, love?

Hanna, who wanted something so far from that for it to be almost unimaginable, had said nothing. She hadn’t even been sure what she could say. Blake had done this before, offering her moments in which she could simply stop everything, and she had no doubt that if she chose one of them, he would leave her alone as he promised.

So each time he had offered her the option to call it off, Hanna had not said a word.

That specific time, she had simply stood there while Blake had nuzzled her neck as if he were waiting for her to answer, her jaw clenched tight. She had wanted to say all kinds of things, some of them even actual words, but that would only make things escalate that much faster. Hanna still had not been able to stomach the idea of being the agent of her own ruin, so she had remained silent.

As though she had not hidden from him for weeks and ignored him when she could not, Blake had rubbed his face against hers as he had murmured that he missed her when she hid from him. Hanna, who was nobody’s fool, had almost cut off her first lover’s ear with a shovel when she had found him gossiping about her and had many ideas for pruning shears when angered, none of which involved plants. But at that moment, she had found herself unable to do more than lean back against him in silent agreement.

Like so many times before with him, Hanna had been able to do nothing but feel.

She had pressed back into him firmly, resting her head against his shoulder and closing her eyes. In another bizarre episode like many of the times they had been together recently, they had spent more than an hour like that. Though Blake had spoken to her occasionally, whispering that he missed her and was so glad to have found her finally, she had not said a thing, even as her hands had settled on his arms around her waist, her thumbs gently stroking his skin.

Like every time Blake had actually put his hands on her, Hanna had found that she was powerless to leave, so she hadn’t even tried. This was harmless, she had told herself as she had stroked the warm skin of his forearms, even as the most cautious part of her had wept in genuine fear, knowing this to be anything but. That small, scared part of her had known that this man was a mistake, that he would never care for her the way she wanted and that all he would do in the end was wound her. She had known that all along. But the larger part of Hanna, the part that was truly her and not a reflection of her past hurts, had wanted anything she could have of him for as long as she could have it.

Torn between desire and caution, Hanna had settled into her stupid woman persona and simply did nothing. She hadn’t started out being so passive and foolish about it. She had even tried to be the one in charge of it all, in some futile effort to regain control and stop what was happening to her, but it hadn’t worked. She had been brave enough to seek out Blake and order him to come to bed before that disastrous conversation, but once he had been in her bed, she had lost all her nerve to take things any further. And as he had promised her, Blake had made no assumptions, behaving as a perfect gentleman and sharing the bed so politely that she couldn’t even use it as an excuse to throw him out.

It had made Hanna nearly insane.

From that insanity had been born the greater one, in which she had drank herself into a slurring stupor and asked him to be her lover for a time, a tragedy that could only be remedied through suicide or willful ignorance. Hanna wasn’t depressed enough to kill herself no matter how embarrassed she was, so she had decided to pretend it had never happened. But such a plan certainly required avoiding him, so that had been her saving grace, right up until the moment when he had caught her and pinned her to the potting shed bench.

At that point, Hanna had just settled into her role, which was starting to feel fated and comfortable in a way that she had recognized distantly as a problem for her future efforts to avoid Blake, and she had stopped worrying. She had let Blake cuddle her in the potting shed, doing nothing to stop it as befits a truly stupid woman and despite her fears, the outcome had not been so bad. After more than an hour of making her weak-kneed with the most innocent of gestures, a true blow to the self-esteem of a woman as experienced with men as she was, Blake had kissed her cheek, holding his lips there for a moment as he had murmured again that he had missed her and was not going to let her hide from him anymore. He would respect that she did not want to discuss certain things, he had repeated in a whisper, but he would not allow her to ruin their friendship over it.

Then he had unwound his arms from her and just left.

Hanna had been mortified to find that she had continued to stand there, her hands locked onto the bench as if she might fall, for many long minutes after he had left. They had left the next day and last night, they had stayed at an inn. It had been easy enough to avoid him while they had traveled, so Hanna had taken complete advantage of that, not even looking him in the eye if she could avoid it.

But now, here at the Manor, she didn’t even know where she could hide, she thought in a mild panic as she moved through the garden at a good clip, barely able to focus on the plants for her anxiety that she might run into Blake. As if her thoughts had summoned him, she turned a corner to see him standing there. When he saw her, his face lit up with a genuinely pleased smile.

Why can’t that mean what I want it to mean?

When Hanna simply looked back at him, he stopped smiling, but continued to approach her slowly and calmly with his hands low and open,