Reiki: One Student to Another

By Phillip Hawkins

It’s said there is a book in all of us and the lucky ones get to find the courage and motivation to look within themselves to find it, and then dare to share it with the world. If we work within our life experience and are true to ourselves, we have nothing to fear other than the shadow of fear itself. The most neglected relationship we have is the one we have with ourselves, and with the desire to know the truth, we become author and narrator of our life story in an effort to discover the real self, the stranger that lives our life. A stranger we wish to know, to like, and one day come to love.
A journey into the unknown in more ways than one; knowledge and understanding asks us to release our grip on reality and escape from a comfort zone that has held us captive for so long. Uncertainty is the constant companion to all things yet to be discovered, as we break new ground and old truths in equal measure.
As a story of my life this book is incomplete for my journey is far from over. What you are about to read is a journal, an aide memoir of a journey that brought me out of the darkness of depression and mental illness, and into the light that comes from seeking knowledge and understanding. A light that helps us see more clearly, enabling us to let go of the past, to choose forgiveness instead of blame, and to put down the emotional and mental baggage we have outgrown and no longer need to carry.

I have so much to learn and understand on this journey of self discovery, and as the universe guides my faltering steps, I hope you dear friend will walk with me for a while.

With thanks and gratitude

Phillip

• Language: English
• Publisher: BadgerDesign
• Release date: Mar 1, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370678709

Phillip Hawkins

A little of my background: A skilled tutor and trainer with significant experience gained developing, delivering and managing training programmes for a wide range of organizations, and groups with complex training/educational/social needs. An effective manager of personnel and resources, with strong negotiating and interpersonal skills, organised and flexible in approach to work ensuring action taken to respond to changing circumstances. Excellent analytical and presentation skills with the ability to define and support the aims and needs of the individual and the organization, experienced at working under own initiative or as part of a team. Support Worker: Secure Psychiatric Unit Support worker in a private 26 bed female only rehabilitation psychiatric hospital. Working alongside medical personnel providing patients with around the clock care that includes supported interventions, one to one and two to one line of sight/arms length observations. Assisting the NIC with the administration of medication and controlled drugs. General duties: maintaining security within the unit and supporting patients whilst out in the community. Specialist Tutor: Learning Curve To advise in the setting up the role of in-house specialist tutor. The role would involve working with on-line learners who have learning disabilities and complex needs. To provide information and guidance to trainers and assessors, in addition to the teaching resources to help the learners complete their on-line qualification in an agreed timescale. Support Worker/Compliance Auditor Dimensions Initially working in a residential setting with adults who have Autism/Learning difficulties who live independently but because of their educational, social and emotional needs can exhibit challenging behavior that requires a high level of support, guidance and mentoring. Seconded to auditors role as part of a national compliance audit team with responsibility for 28 services in the Tyne/Tees region, ensuring the level of service provided within those services meets CQC and Dimensions standards of care and support. Trainer/ Tutor: TEAM Wearside As an employability tutor delivering NCFE/City and Guilds employability programmes to students/clients with complex needs. Programme content included H&S, equality and diversity, personal development and Safeguarding for Entry level/Level 1 & 2. Seconded to Castlegreen Special Educational and Social Needs Community School as part of their existing centre of excellence, liaising with SFL and Apprenticeship teams within TEAM Wearside and external agencies working towards achievement for the learners including further qualifications, whilst assisting them to gain self confidence, work experience, access to FE or employment and independent living status. Tutor: Bishop Auckland College Developing training programmes for accreditation by the Open College Network (T.R.O.C.N.) delivering courses / programmes on Personal Safety, Aggression Management, and Assertiveness as part of the college curriculum and also to the private sector. Working with Foundation Learning E2E, and groups with learning and social difficulties, basic skills, numeracy and literacy based portfolio building and Skills for Life and NCFE employability programmes. Tutor: New College Durham Part of the Summer School team; delivering Reiki/personal development training to the high risk and vulnerable inmates with educational and social needs at Frankland Maximum Security Prison. Tutor: Education in the Community Developing Reiki training programmes to accreditation standards (T.R.O.C.N.). Developing and delivering Personal Development and Skills for Life courses as part of the A.C.L. Education in the Community Programme. Care Worker: Agency work Working in a wide range of care environments, care homes, nursing homes, EMI units, hospitals/hospice, and in the clients own homes. Duties included personal care, cooking and cleaning, supervising social days out, client health and safety, administering medication and liaising with nursing/medial personnel. Lecturer University of Sunderland Training Connexions personal advisers; responsible for delivering and presenting Connexion’s Programme, preparing training courses, assessing students.

Book preview

Reiki -

One Student to Another

By Phillip Hawkins

Publishing info:

Published by Badger Design Studios

Copyright 2017

Smashwords Edition

www.badgerdesignstudios.wordpress.com

www.facebook.com/BadgerDesignStudios

Knowledge through Learning

Healing through Understanding

Phillip Hawkins

Phillip's Details

You can follow Phillips works live on facebook on www.facebook.com/PhillipHawkinsReiki

or the live blog on his website www.philliphawkinsreiki.wordpress.com

Contents Page

Cover

Title Page

Publishing Info

Introduction

Phillips Details

Foreword

In the Beginning

Chapter 1 - My Journey Begins With My First Faltering Steps

Chapter 2 - Not Every Change Is As Good As A Rest

Chapter 3 - Out Of The Frying Pan And Into The Fire

Chapter 4 - Stop Moaning Exercise Is Good For You

Chapter 5 - Neighbours From Hell

Chapter 6 - Just One More For The Road

Chapter 7 - It’s A Fine Line Between Love And Hate

Chapter 8 - A New House, A New Day But The Same Old Problems

Chapter 9 - Let’s Try These And See If They Help

Chapter 10 - If It Wasn’t For Bad Luck We Would Have No Luck At All

Chapter 11 - A School Of Hard Knocks

Chapter 12 - Mummy Dearest

Chapter 13 - Where It All Began

Chapter 14 - The Beginning Of The End

Chapter 15 - One Step From The Edge

Chapter 16 - The Wilderness Years

Letting Go Of The Past

Chapter 17 - The Way Of Reiki

Chapter 18 - The Day Reiki Came Calling

Chapter 19 - Why Reiki And More Importantly Why Me?

Chapter 20 - I Came To The Edge And Flew

Chapter 21 - Urban Myths Of Reiki

Chapter 22 - Reiki Before It Was Reiki

Chapter 23 - In Search Of Our Objective Truth

Chapter 24 - To Master Or Not To Master That Is The Question?

Chapter 25 - Development Begins Where The Accepted Ends

Chapter 26 - To Heal The Self We Must Become The Change We Desire

Chapter 27 - What Is Healing?

Chapter 28 - The Only Person We Can Heal Is Ourselves

Chapter 29 - The Mind Body Connection

Chapter 30 - The Healing Power Of Happiness

Chapter 31 - Be Silly; It Could Be The Most Spiritual Thing You Do

Chapter 32 - Looking Beyond What We Can See

Chapter 33 - Keeping It Simple

Chapter 34 - Reiki Stripped Back And Simplified

Chapter 35 - When The Principle Gets Lost In The Practice

Chapter 36 - Reiki Your Spiritual Sat-nav

Chapter 37 - In Search Of The Sacred

Chapter 38 - Sowing The Seeds Of Knowledge And Understanding

Chapter 39 - The Part We Play

Chapter 40 - Please Dial 1 For Your Wakeup Call

Chapter 41 - How Do We Get To ‘getting It Right’?

Chapter 42 - The Power Of Forgiveness

Chapter 43 - Reiki Begins In The Mind

Chapter 44 - Healing But Not As We Know It

Chapter 45 - Forever Present In The Past

Chapter 46 - What’s On The Other Side Of Fear?

Chapter 47 - Limitations Of Reiki

Chapter 48 - Living By The Use It Or Lose It Principle

Chapter 49 - Reiki And Psychic Development

Chapter 50 - Am I There Yet?

Reclaiming Our Personal Power

Chapter 51 - The Promise Of Potential But No Money Back Guarantees

Chapter 52 - Misconceptions Of The Attunement Process

Chapter 53 - A New Direction Requires A New Belief

Chapter 54 - The Radicalisation Of Reiki

Chapter 55 - Letting Our Mind Catch Up With The Development Taking Place

Chapter 56 - The Future Is The Child In Time, Conceived But Not Yet Born

Chapter 57 - Guilt Is The Superglue Of Our Emotions

Chapter 58 - Make Peace With Your Past So You Can Part On Good Terms

Chapter 59 - Abundance Doesn’t Come With A Designer Label Or Spiritual Value

Chapter 60 - The True Cost Of Spirituality

Chapter 61 - Our Place In The 21st Century

Chapter 62 - It’s Your Life And You Alone Can Live It

Chapter 63 - What Price Your Self-worth?

Chapter 64 - When Seeking Approval Takes The Place Of Our Self-worth

Chapter 65 - Now Is The Time To Reclaim Our Personal Power

Chapter 66 - Less We Forget

Phillips Sign Off

Foreword

We come into this world with nothing more than our first and last breath and an indeterminate time between to make our journey through life. Lacking even the most rudimentary guide to help us find our way, the yellow brick road we search for is often no more than crazy paving made up as we go along struggling as we do, to find our personal wizard of Oz with the answer to our questions, and solutions to all of our problems.

The path to understanding is very rarely if ever paved with gold. More often than not, it’s a journey of hardship and compromise, a path forged out of necessity and made possible by the steps we are willing, and sometimes forced to take. It’s a journey of discovery and not a particular destination that provides us with the answers we seek. Those who stumble blindly in search of the one true way face disappointment on discovering there is no definitive way to self knowledge and understanding. Each of us must find our own way breaking new ground and old beliefs in the process. Lessons we draw to ourselves like footprints in the sand will in time disappear with our passing.

We are all blind to those things we don’t wish to see, and we look no further than that which we hold to be true. Yet what we believe about ourselves is no more than a feeling of certainty based on life’s experiences and the truths created by others which we have accepted as our own. As we struggle to escape from this confusion more often than not our vision is obscured by fears and uncertainties that are reflected back to us by our expectations of life. True knowledge and understanding asks that we be willing to let go of those beliefs once we have outgrown them.

Our point of view is no more than fleeting snapshots on a continuing journey to discover who we really are, what we see and hold to be true is determined only by how far we have travelled and the progress we have made. Looking back I can see how far I have travelled on my journey of self discovery; from a childhood of abuse neglect and poverty to the realisation of my dreams to be a teacher and writer. My past should be no more than a point of reference for my destiny lies before me; any regrets I may have will only anchor me to my past and stop me moving on. One of the biggest challenges I face is the acceptance that I am spirit in the process of a physical experience, accepting how far I have come, and finding the courage to continue my journey and follow where those dreams and aspirations may lead.

Regardless of ability there are three things that define our experiences in life; what we focus on, what it means to us and what we choose to do about it. All of our experiences are created by the choices we make either consciously or by default, and a lack of understanding or an unwillingness to accept these influences will not release us from their control. Few of us are blessed with the clarity of sight that allows us to see beyond our own fears and uncertainties or the illusion of our immediate surroundings. Even those with 20/20 vision are still capable of tripping over their own doubts and fears, for every experience we create and live through reflects back to us our beliefs and expectations of life. Yet every challenge and new experience presents us with the opportunity to go beyond what we already know about ourselves, break new ground and old beliefs to discover what we are capable of. A new skill waiting to be developed, strength to be tested or a new relationship forged out of fear and uncertainty. Change is uncomfortable but personal development always lies beyond the barriers and limitation that we have set ourselves.

Although this book chronicles certain aspects of my life, the experiences that shaped the person I have become, it looks at crucial points that contributed to that development which is constant and ongoing but it’s not autobiographical, nor does it offer instruction to the reader on what to do or think. If anything this book is merely the first chapter that charts my personal journey of discovery and the rights of passage that had to be endured and overcome before I could begin to understand who I was and where I was going.  I didn’t realise it at the time but this journey gave me both direction and a sense of purpose. In the process I stopped looking for someone to blame and started searching for the truth and with it knowledge and understanding that can sometimes be found in the ashes of old beliefs and fears.

You the reader are given the opportunity to travel with me for a short while and in doing so are able to reflect on some of the hardships and challenges I had to overcome and the effect this had on me physically, mentally and emotionally.  The back story provides the canvas against which the narrative guides you on this journey of self discovery, along the way the journey is sign posted by the use of various pieces of work in the form of an ‘aid memoire’ and through their use you are able to see how a change in my beliefs, my thought processes and ability changed the course of my life forever.

The title of this book; Reiki; one student to another reflects my belief that no matter how educated, intelligent qualified or experienced we may be, we can all be blind to the things we do not wish to see or accept about ourselves. As such we are all students on a journey of personal discovery. Whether we like it or not we have enrolled into this school of life, a journey of discovery carrying the debilitating baggage of self doubt, fear and uncertainty, struggling with the weight of this burden we stumble from one experience to another trying to find our way.

The book you are reading began life as an idea; it was sustained by the belief that it’s both relevant and worthwhile, and driven by the fact that the essence of this work has already changed and improved the quality of life for so many people over the last seventeen years and continues to do so.  As a journal it’s incomplete because our personal journey is a never ending story in which we play many roles; hero and villain, visionary and the fool. All travelling together sometimes lost in a wilderness of uncertainty, and at other times certain of our direction and purpose.  Each chapter provides us with new experiences, and a blank page upon which we can leave our mark as testimony to our passing.

This book charts the beginning of my Reiki journey; I’m a blind man trying to make my way through life, sometimes sure of where I’m going but more often than not jumping from one experience to another and hoping for the best. My blindness is not that of a physical disability, rather it’s the blindness of ignorance and fear, and as the old adage says ‘In the absence of light darkness prevails’. Put another way ‘In the absence of knowledge and understanding illness and ignorance will take charge’ and I’m ignorant of those things that exert the greatest control over my life. Those deep seated fears and negative beliefs; enemies that lie in wait ready to ambush me and sabotage my efforts the moment I dare to deviate from the path set for me by others so many years ago. This is the story of how I began my Reiki journey, a journey that began at the moment of my birth and this story recounts some of the important experiences that helped me discover who I was, who I am and the person I hope I will one day become.

A chapter in my life charting my early faltering steps from a childhood of deprivation and abuse up to a point in time where thanks to a growing dependency on drink and prescribed drugs my life imploded and nearly came to a premature end. 

Although I didn’t realise it at the time, this catastrophic event brought me to a major crossroads in my young life and found me standing outside of a psychiatric hospital. Afraid of what the future may hold, but knowing that if I walked away I would fall into the dark abyss that eventually claimed my mother’s life and would take mine. Unbeknown to me all of my childhood and life experiences would play a major part in my own development as a Reiki Teacher and writer, and help me find inner peace, purpose and meaning. At that moment all I could see before me was a deep abyss created by drink, medication frustration and guilt, an abyss that was ready to swallow me up. My beliefs and experiences may not be shared every reader nor would I expect them to be and it has to be said from the outset that personal hardship is not a prerequisite to becoming a Reiki practitioner or teacher, our journey of development is a personal one and we can do no other than play the cards we draw. Even if you choose to disregard Reiki and challenge its role as a catalyst for change, you will not be able to ignore the transition taking place before your eyes as each page and chapter acts as a door opening onto an ever changing vista. 

I believe that we all possess a reservoir of innate wisdom that is both genetic to the individual and collective as a species which helped me with the challenge or writing this book. To write it in such a way that’s different but easy to understand. A way that helps you remember your own life’s lessons and rediscover the knowledge and understanding that lies in your genetic and collective memory, and discover the skills and abilities that lay hidden by your beliefs and fears. 

One of the greatest barriers to communication is the words we use and our understanding of their meaning, the simplest point can be lost in the multitude of words we use to explain it. Knowing you already have the knowledge you are searching for; what you lack is not knowledge, but the understanding and the wisdom to apply that knowledge in your life. In our effort to be something we believe we are not, we overlook the opportunity to express our true worth, we are the light we seek and the mentor we have spent so long looking for. In helping you to recognise this fact, I will be one step closer to understanding my own truth. We must hold within ourselves that which we are able to recognise and find in others. If I can’t recognise and accept love and kindness within myself, I will never be able to see that quality in others.  

If we accept that all understanding lies within ourselves then we must also accept that searching for it in books and earth while teachers may be based on the limiting belief that the answers we are looking for are out there somewhere, that we are incomplete until we find the holy grail of wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Yes we require teachers, trainers and mentors but only to awaken the student to their own innate ability and sooner or later the student must take responsibility for their own learning.

Knowledge is information and data; understanding is when that information becomes meaningful, and wisdom is when we apply that knowledge and understanding in our lives. If we believe that our journey of self discovery must take a certain direction accompanied by the obligatory baggage of ‘must do’s’ to weigh us down, then this belief merely delays our arrival at our true destination. Our final destination of enlightenment and self mastery are innate; we are born with our reservation already booked, but our ticket is open ended allowing us through the power of our free will to decide how and when we want to arrive. We all make it back to our spiritual home one day, but we have the final say as to how long the journey will take and the number of stops we make along the way.

Education brings with it a voice and a desire to be heard.  You shall know the truth, (discover your true self) and that truth will set you free.

A Journey Of A Single Step

There is nothing new under the sun; the more things change the more they stay the same, and new inventions are merely forgotten wisdom waiting to be rediscovered by those with minds open enough to receive knowledge and understanding. Development is a process that builds upon what has gone before and our progress is defined by our willingness to learn and accept how little we know. In doing so we create the opportunity for knowledge and understanding to unfold.

No matter how far we travel our journey is that of a single step that takes us ever forward along the path of our choosing. A journey of both departure and destination; one gives meaning and the other gives a direction and a sense of purpose, but it’s each single step on that journey which provides us with the experiences that contain the seeds for personal growth and development.

In a hurry to reach our destination we can overlook the value of the journey that provides us with the opportunity to learn so much, and our destination can appear empty by comparison. Our destination is always in the present moment, the here and now and the lessons contained which when learnt will define our ultimate destination.

Knowledge, understanding and wisdom are born out of the stillness of creation, the wellspring from which all things are formed, an expression of unconditional love which gifts us the double edged sword of free will and with it our ability to choose. It neither condones nor judges but simply reflects back to us the value we place upon ourselves. 

It never punishes for there is no need, we are our own judge, jury and in some situations our own executioner when life choices create illnesses and dis-ease. We are never punished for our actions but as a result of our actions for we must accept the consequences of the choices we have made be they good or bad. When unconditional love becomes our destination each step draws us ever closer to the point where free will is no longer an issue and we have only the desire to reflect the unconditional love that gives us life everlasting.

In The Beginning...

Chapter 1 - My Journey Begins With My First Faltering Steps...

My own personal journey began in the early hours of May 11th 1951 when as a 11 pound baby boy I was brought much to my mother’s relief kicking and screaming into this world. Apparently I come from a long line of big babies with one of my aunties weighing in at a colossal 14 pounds at birth. I have no evidence to prove this but I was told it often enough and considering the size of some of my relatives I can believe it. Even if you were six feet tall you were still literally looked down on by some of my relatives. While my birth may have come as a relief to my mother unbeknown to me I had just been born into a relatively poor, broken and a very dysfunctional family in an old mining town of Crook on the edge of the Dales in the north east of England. This was a time of great austerity when the country was still struggling to recover from the socially and economically effects of the Second World War.

A small rural town, Crook first appeared on the map as a tiny agricultural village around 1795 and by 1835 agriculture had given way to a thriving mining industry; this was due to the vast coal seams which lay very close to the surface. Sometimes so close to the surface it would break free to bruise and scar the surrounding landscape as the grass died back to reveal the precious coal beneath. 

At its height there were over 20 drift mines around the Crook area which led to a rapid growth in the population as people migrated into the area from far and wide to find work and hopefully improve their quality of life and standard of living. However the prosperity was relatively short lived as by the early 1900’s the coal seams began to peter out and the mines and dependant local industries started to close resulting in extreme hardship and poverty, with one in three of the remaining population being out of work. As time went on all that would be left of this once thriving industry was the rusting industrial skeletal remains that dotted the landscape. These would eventually be removed for salvage or abandoned and overgrown to such an extent it appeared as if the land had waited patiently to remove all evidence of its passing and reclaim that which had been torn from it.

It was a hard and uncompromising life that claimed many lives and the prosperity it provided came at a very high price. The hours were long,  the work hard and dangerous with the ‘ewers’ having to dig out the coal with pick and shovel in claustrophobic eighteen inch high coal seams. They worked in virtual darkness able to see no further than the glow emitted by the sickly insipid light of their miners lamps. Hard thirsty work which could explain why the churches were outnumbered five to one by the pubs and clubs in the town. 

As far as I know my parents and siblings weren’t intentionally dysfunctional or poor, it was merely the result of social circumstances and their own personal experiences that made them the way they were. At the time of my birth no one could know how that would impact on my life or the extent of the damage that would be done. Had I known what was about to happen and the years of abuse I was about to suffer, had I been able I would have definitely had something to say about the matter.

I have no real memories of my earliest years other than a few scant mental images that may be genuine memories or the result of an over active imagination created by what was to become an increasing troubled, neglected and abusive childhood. Self development work later in life would show that many of my early memories were simply suppressed or blocked out as a coping mechanism and self preservation. If you can visualise those memories as a reel of cellulose film with each frame representing an individual memory or experience, some contain bright and clearly defined images, some are split in half as those images merge into the encroaching darkness and others are completely blacked out as if over exposed to some physical or emotional trauma that I couldn’t deal with. I was advised during these sessions that I should avoid any kind of hypnotherapy as this may inadvertently cause these buried memories to resurface and I may or may not be able to deal with them. As someone once said ‘If it isn’t broken don’t try to fix it’, so that’s one part of my life I’m happy to leave well alone.

What I do have is a little knowledge and understanding of what made my family the way they were. I say a little knowledge and understanding because some things I will never understand, as those with the answers to many of my questions died long ago and took with them any hope of understanding the chain of events that began with my grandfather in 1886 and the effect it had on lives 130 years later.

Although my birth certificate shows I was born in Crook apparently I spent a lot of time being dragged from pillar to post on a regular basis in all weather between Crook and Cippenham near Slough in Buckinghamshire where my father lived. Cippenham is a suburb of Slough in the county of Berkshire and its name has its origins in Saxon England literally meaning Cippa's homestead. In the thirteenth century King Henry III made occasional visits to his fortified house or palace, which is unfortunately no longer in existence. 

However it was his brother Richard, Earl of Cornwall and King of the Romans, who was more closely associated with Cippenham: he founded Burnham Abbey there in April 1266. This was a place of history in the making, a region of kings and castles with the great Castle of Windsor silhouetted on the skyline. Places of education and learning with the playing fields of Eton close by on which the character of future Princes would be formed. Farmlands and green pastures, a place of gentle streams and gentle people who’s sedate lifestyle was totally alien to my mother who saw it and its people as soft and characterless. This constant tooing and frowing was due to my parent’s volatile and stormy relationship which I was told was caused to a large extent to my mother’s violent nature and a mental illness which I would later come to understand as a personality disorder and manic depression, or bi-polar as it’s known today. 

Apparently my parents met one another when my mother was working as a general domestic in an isolation hospital not far from where my father lived, and it was here that he was given a shocking insight as to what his future held due to the fragile state of my mother’s mental health. Her true nature showed itself one day when a simple misunderstanding quickly escalated into a bloody and violent attack on an unsuspecting work colleague. People were sat around in a small staff room relaxing and chatting amongst themselves when my mother walked into the room. As she entered one of the group began to laugh at