Circle of Grief

By Rochelle Pittman

This book relates eight people’s experiences of life after the death of a spouse. It was written by a group of men and women that first met in 2007 and, bonded by grief, still meet to this day. Each person’s account is unique and personal. The purpose of this book is to share knowledge with, and lend encouragement to, anyone who has lost a spouse. Readers may find support and healing in these stories from people who understand.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, nor is there a time limit on grief. The writers’ heartfelt words illustrate how grief can be an emotional and life-altering process. It is common to feel uncomfortable with exploring grief, but in this book the writers are able to talk about grief without reservations or judgment.

This book recounts stories filled with laughter, tears, advice and sharing. The group members share their journeys through grief in the hope that readers will be able to identify with similar experiences, feel supported, and have their thoughts and feelings validated. If you are grieving, the writers want to remind you that you are not alone and there are better days ahead.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rochelle Pittman
• Release date: Jul 25, 2016
• ISBN: 9781773020358

Book preview

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Circle of Grief

healing to hope

Steve Creemer

Norma Sydenham

Rob Goss

Linda King

Bill Atchison

Debbie Duchesne

Kate Anderson

Rochelle Pittman

Contents

Dedication

Quan Yin

Foreword

Chapter 1

Steve

Chapter 2

William Cunningham Arnold

Chapter 3

Seasons

Chapter 4

Linda

Chapter 5

Bill’s Chapter

Chapter 6

Blessings Gained Through Grief

Chapter 7

Kates Story

Chapter 8

Rochelle

Copyright

Dedication

This book is dedicated in loving memory to our dear friend, Grampa Bill. A gentle and kind soul, he will be remembered fondly by all of us who contributed to this book. As Grampa Bill enriched our lives individually as well as collectively it is only fitting for this dedication to encompass all the great reasons why he was loved so much and the impact he had on each of our lives.

Grampa Bill, you will be forever remembered for the following reasons:

For the unconditional love, compassion, and kindness you gave so freely and without compromise

For being the leader of our group, our mentor, and for organizing our group get-togethers

For showing us the art of turning things around and always staying positive

For your gentle guidance, wise words, and infectious sense of humour

For being such an inspiration and taking the time to share your life experiences

For embodying all the qualities of a true gentleman and trusted friend

For sharing your entertaining stories that provided us with laughter and wisdom

For your friendship and for always being there when we needed you

For being a teacher, friend, and a great guy to be around

For your fun-loving, quick-witted personality

Grampa Bill, while it was our journey of grief and healing that brought you into our lives, it is the fond memories of the fun times that we all shared with you that we will cherish. We are truly blessed for our time together. You left your fingerprints of grace on all of our lives. We will miss you dear friend and until me meet again, just remember to have a little laugh.

Quan Yin

Goddess of Compassion

She hears the cries of all beings.

I draw strength from her qualities and strive to offer these back to those I counsell.

Foreword

Circle of Grief, Healing to Hope

During my many years as a Grief Counsellor, I have facilitated a variety of grief groups that represent the different types of loss that one can experience. No group has been as long lasting and remarkable as the authors who have penned this unique and honestly written book. This group represents a segment of a Young Spousal Loss Group that has remained friends for almost ten years. If you have picked up this book, you are going to read the profoundly personal stories of loss and healing written by Rochelle, Debbie, Steve, Kate, Norma, Linda, Rob, and Bill. They have supported one another and had fun together. These brave individuals are not professional writers. The stories have been written from their hearts. Learn about their journey from grief to healing, hope and new life. They want to offer a message to those who are grieving as well as to the professionals who counsel individuals who have experienced a loss. Through their relatable stories they want to reach out with a message that you are not alone. The words used to describe their group experience were safety, friendship, bonds, fun, and the comfort of meeting with friends who get it. Their positive experience with a Grief Group is a source of encouragement for others who may be considering this source of support.

When the stories were completed I was given eight sealed envelopes containing the authors’ work. No one knew what the other had written. I would be the first person to lay eyes upon these deeply personal stories. It was a humbling experience to be entrusted with such a privilege.

The authors have written thoughtful, heartfelt, spirited, and provocative narratives. Revealing personal details of loss and the depth of one’s emotional pain is a difficult task. Having read all the chapters, I learned more about these individuals and their courage and resiliency. Parts of their stories of loss were revealed that had never been shared with me before. I didn’t know that I often found myself thinking. This comment is a reminder for me and other counselling professionals that our grieving clients are part of a larger experience that requires us to always be mindful of the complexity of our client’s lives.

The ultimate purpose of the authors is to help those who are grieving deeply and feeling alone. They hold forth their own supportive group and personal experience and hope grievers will overcome discomfort and hesitation to consider joining a grief group. In that spirit, the following quotes have been lifted from the pages of Circle of Grief, Healing to Hope in support of those who grieve.

Surround yourself with people you know and trust.

Little steps make a big difference.

Remember not to make any major decisions for at least a year.

You and you alone have to put in the hard work.

Ever-changing emotions caused me to act out of character.

I see I have been dealt a new hand, a winning hand.

I have become redefined, more spiritual.

The future looks bright.

Life will not be the same, but it can be good again.

Maureen Pysklywec MA, Reg. Clinical Counsellor

Grief, Trauma, EMDR, Life Transitions

Calgary, AB

Chapter 1

Steve

I have decided to choose the dog as my symbol. Over the years the dog has become a great friend and companion to the human race. The dog has filled many roles in our lives, from protector to helper. I believe that they can sense how we feel, if we are happy or very sad.

I can recall,