Dew Drops of Hope

By Kat Crawford

Did your husband or child die? Did your friend move away? Did the doctor diagnose your spouse with dementia? Did you lose something precious to you? 

How do you deal with such grief and loss? 

What do you say to those going through the heartbreak?

If you are suffering loss, what do you need from others?

Real people who walked through all types of loss and heartbreak share their journey and their recovery in Dew Drops of Hope: Help for Those Going Through Grief and Loss. The book wades through dark loneliness to a vibrant new life—hope of seeing light and life again. You think you're alone—you're not. Find yourself in stories in this book and apply the wisdom offered by those sharing their hurts and their hope. 

Kat Crawford, Shirl Hart, and their friends have compiled stories of heartbreak, moments of inspirations and laughter to help you through these trying times. You need two of these books, one for yourself and one to share. Or maybe you need three. You know more than one walking through a tough time. Don't miss the opportunity of sharing Dew Drops of Hope with your friends and loved ones.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kat Crawford
• Release date: Jul 29, 2019
• ISBN: 9781548003104

Book preview

Dew Drops of Hope

Help for Those Going Through Grief and Loss

by Kat Crawford

Copyright ©2017 by Katherine J. Crawford

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise without the prior written permission of the publisher, except the inclusion of brief quotations, being used in context with reference noted, for review.

All stories are shared from real families and real experiences. Some names (including one of the writers) have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals and families involved.

Published by

The Lionhearted Kat

Omaha, Nebraska

Contact address:

[e-mail]

Order online: www.lionheartedkat.info

also

order Capsules of Hope: Survival Guide for Caregivers

Author: Crawford, Katherine J.

Grief and Loss, Chronic Disease, Self-Help, Resources

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Dedicated to

Shirl Hart

Thank you, for your friendship and for believing in me. Because of you, this book is possible. Over the years, you taught me to persevere.

And also to all who have suffered grief and loss. May you find hope in the midst of pain, and above all, persevere.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:2-3)

Acknowledgments

A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will himself be refreshed. (Proverbs 11:25)

Thank you, my friends for sharing your stories, your healing experiences, and your reflections. Because of you, many will find hope while going through grief and loss.

Shirl Hart, Rockville, Indiana

Joan Worden, Papillion, Nebraska

Christine Lustgraaf, Council Bluffs, Iowa

Dana Dorrenbacher, Apex, North Carolina

Donna Royal, Yutan, Nebraska

Esther Hanson, Hanford, California

Gloria Penwell, Jenison, Michigan

Janice Groat, Council Bluffs, Iowa

Jeanie Jacobson, Bellevue, Nebraska

Melody Smith, Omaha, Nebraska

Sally Kleman, Eugene, Oregon

Yvonne Skidgel, Strathmore, California

Rita Rocker, Omaha, Nebraska (Portions of her book, Hope at the End of Your Rope! Steps to Rebuild Your Life is used by permission: pages 37-38 and 41-44.) Contact Rita Rocker and purchase the book on http://transformationacademy.com

/**/

A special thanks to my editor:

Lee Warren, Omaha, Nebraska.

From the year we met, you have taught me to believe

in myself and continually dig deeper in learning the writing craft. My deepest thanks for giving Dew Drops of Hope your special attention, encouraging me throughout this project, and for continually sharing your expertise with me and the Wordsowers Christian Writers in

Omaha, Nebraska.

Foreword

In a way, Kat Crawford saved my life. I was going through unbelievable stress when I started caregiving for the first time . . . and I struggled with incredible anger at family members who weren’t helping. I was frightened of this new territory, terrified that we wouldn’t be able to pay for my father’s health care needs, but afraid that I was foolish not to take a leave from my job and devote my time to him. In the middle of all the fears and questions and sleepless nights, I also lost sight of God’s presence.

Then I met Kat. She came to me for input on her book in progress, Capsules of Hope: Survival Guide for Caregivers, but she was the one who ended up changing my life.

Kat listened as I unburdened my soul. And she completely upended the way I’d been looking at the situation with the family members. Because of her, I was able to forgive and to focus on my father—both my sick earthly father and my caring heavenly Father. She gave me understanding and hope.

And that sums up Kat’s ministry in a nutshell. As you enter the pages of this book, you will find understanding and hope. You will glean practical help, and her words will soothe your soul, bringing you closer to our Lord.

So enter, relax, and refresh your spirit with our friend, the indomitable Kat, who gets her strength and wisdom from an indomitable Savior. She just might change your life, too.

Jeanette Gardner Littleton—Publication Services

Author and Editor

Founder and Co-director of Heart of America Christian Writers Network

http://www.hacwn.org/history

The Lionhearted Kat Says:

Celebrate God’s presence and His help. Face every challenge with courage.

Seven years ago, my husband, Gary, died of a heart attack. We were married almost fifty-one years. This week, while writing a book for others, I recalled my feelings of hopelessness. Today, I wonder, Where did I find hope? Of course, the usual answer is through family, friends, and my faith.

The best answer to the question: One day at a time and sometimes, only one moment at a time.

Since I’m a widow, I’ve been able to talk to other women and men who have joined me in the single life. They believe I know what I’m talking about.

In January 2016, my friend Shirl and I talked about her husband’s death a few months earlier—her spouse of fifty-eight years. On one of those long-distance chats, Shirl said, Kat, you have helped me. Why don’t you write a book on grief?

Sure, why not? But you need to contribute your years of expertise on loss.

For the twenty-some years I’ve known Shirl, she had emailed me dozens of stories about working with Alzheimer’s patients, an elderly neighbor needing her help, and how she handled what I thought were the most difficult caregiving situations.

Think about it, all of those people are walking through their own level of grief, I said. The loss of eyesight, watching a loved one fade away daily, and now Tom’s death. You have a gift of words.

The two of us entered the awesome challenge of writing this book. The most exciting part of our plan happened in April when Shirl said, You know, writing is getting me up in the morning.

Don’t you love that phrase? God used Shirl’s painful journey to move her to a place where she is once again caring for others. Instead of buying groceries or changing diapers for someone, she’s sharing her experiences—both the good and the challenging, in a book to help others.

This book isn’t a magical fix. It is the wisdom of two widows and a few friends who are sharing what they’ve learned over many years. Shirl and I aren’t spring chickens. She’s nine years older than me, and I’ve lived three-quarters of a century. Our goal is to bring you stories similar to yours, along with a few ideas that might bring you some comfort. Above all, we share the solution to all of life’s problems: Jesus.

One last thought: While considering book titles, I said to my oldest daughter, "We are thinking Two Joyful Widows—"

Mother, think about it. It sounds like you are glad Dad died.

Did her comment make you smile? It did me. Keep reading. You will find help, hope, and smiles to give you courage in Dew Drops of Hope: Help for Those Going Through Grief and Loss.

Shirl Says:

. . . weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

(Psalm 30:5)

What Is Grief Anyway?

Grief is a country I’m passing through. I am not enjoying the trip. I do not recommend it to anyone, nor will I linger in this confusing land. My travel plan is to adjust, get in, get out, and share any survival technique of value that I have learned along the way.

My journey has spurred me to explore areas I would never go had the worst not happened. My husband and best friend for fifty-eight years died. He handled everything except cooking and food shopping.

Overnight, I had an array of new choices. Which insurance should I buy? Do I really need earthquake coverage? Should I stay put or move near family? Do I need to replace my gas-guzzling vehicle? Would I profit from grief counseling? When will I stop crying?

How will I survive without Tom in a couple’s world?

Will this spirit of heaviness ever lift?

Yes, it will be replaced by joy. After my dark journey, the path will be brighter. I see light ahead. Joy is on the way. It’s coming in the morning.

Find a corner, curl up in a snuggle blanket, and make sure you have a box of tissue nearby. Prepare to find joy and healing. The tissue is to dry tears from laughter, joy, and true healing.

Part I

Stories by Kat Crawford

Broken to Serve

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: because of the 

Lord

’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

(Lamentations 3:21-22)

A pastor from two hours away called me. Gary told us he is still depressed. He’s on his way home. We encouraged him to get help, but I’m afraid he’ll do something . . .

I had lived with the same concern for months.

When I hung up, I bawled. God, what do I do? My husband knows Hebrew and Greek—he knows Scripture better than me. How can he be depressed? Our home is beautiful. Our congregation is growing, and they appreciate his ministry.

Two hours later, Gary walked in the house like nothing happened. He kissed me, loved up the dog, and talked about the weather.

The year before, Gary had asked our congregation to gather around him in prayer. Pray that God will be the total God of my life.

Only a few weeks later, Gary woke me in the night. Do you ever think God has left you and your prayers are hitting the ceiling?

I didn’t understand his questioning God. Often, after his middle-of-the-night questions, Gary asked me to read him the scripture he felt the Holy Spirit gave him on the day of his ordination.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign 

Lord

 is on me, because the 

Lord

 has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners" (Isaiah 61:1).

A few months later, Gary stood before our annual District Assembly with glowing reports about all the budgets being paid and our growing church numbers. After he finished, he began to weep.

I’m so tired that I want to die, he said.

The district superintendent (DS) asked Gary to come forward. Many pastors prayed with him. Later, the DS offered Gary free weekly counseling sessions in a city five hours from our home. He also gave him a free counseling number to call.

At home, life seemed almost normal—for a few days—but then everything changed again. Gary functioned on auto-pilot from Friday through Sunday night. Monday, he started the downhill slide.

Many times, in the middle of the night, he put his head in my lap and wept. He often asked me to read the words of Jesus.

Why did I think I could help him? I prayed for wisdom and often begged him to call the free counseling hotline.

I’ve memorized the number. His laughter sounded demonic. I’ve dialed the number dozens of times, but I can’t talk to those people.

He always said we didn’t have the money to drive the five hours for counseling. And, of course, he never told the church board about his problems or asked for financial help.

Did I ever tell anyone? No. Who could I tell?

All my life, I had believed the preacher’s wife shouldn’t share with church friends—even best friends—especially about their husbands.

Who could I talk to? My parents became believers under Gary’s ministry, so I couldn’t talk with them. My siblings weren’t believers. I could never tell them. If Gary wouldn’t call the DS, should I?

Gary kissed me goodbye before I drove away to attend the yearly retreat for pastors’ wives. His demeanor said, I might run away or attempt suicide. I could do nothing but leave him in God’s