A Star to Steer By, Second Edition: My Journey into Insanity and Back

By Rebecca C. Jones

Through the power of God, Rebecca Jones has survived near-death experiences, mental health struggles, and a dysfunctional childhood. Her struggle with paranoid schizophrenia leads her to believe that family members are poisoning her food and sneaking into her house to damage things, which prompts her to leave her husband of 16 years and their two children. She moves in with her mother in Orem, Utah, and continues to believe that all the people around her are plotting her downfall. After overcoming struggles with her early diagnosis and actions, the author goes on to share how her faith in Jesus Christ is foundational to her health. She gives twelve ways that people can prepare to receive guidance from the Holy Ghost, four ways that Satan interacts with people, two ways that people can counteract the evil influences of Satan, and seven tips for dealing with a mental illness. This book is a revised second edition with a special bonus section called "Working with the Spirit."

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jan 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9781667865294

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© 2022 Rebecca C. Jones

ISBN: 978-1-66-786529-4

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Acknowledgments

I’d like to thank my son Trevor, my friend Joyce Mitchell, my sister Sylvia Allred, and my late sister, Linda Ditzler, for the invaluable help they’ve given me in reading and editing this book.  In addition, special thanks go to Dave Blume and Randy Huntington for reviewing my manuscript and offering additional valuable suggestions.  Also, my thanks go to Jay Ipsen, my former branch president, for reading the special bonus section and giving me his comments.

I’d like to thank the following friends of mine for their contributions to help fund the publication of this book: Joyce Mitchell, Ruth Ann Hay, Dana and Shamayne Cram, Scott and Jayne Duvall, Susan Andrews, Jeff and Julie Carlisle, Randy and JoAnna Hall, Kerry and Joyce Morton, Warren and Connie Nielson, Darrell and LuDean White, Kent and Laverne Wiseman, Layne and Peg Batty, and Rick and Lucinda Halter.

I’d like to thank Eric Eliason and my son Brendan for their invaluable help with graphics for the covers of this book.

And I’d like to thank my former roommate, Ashley, for her patience with me as I spent many hours sequestered in my room, working on the manuscript for this book.

I’d also like to thank Josh Scheuerman, Salt Lake City artist and graphic designer, for painting the cover for this book.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1:  Sliding Down the Mountain

Chapter 2:  My Letter to the White House

Chapter 3:  Another Letter

Chapter 4:  Ignored, or Not?

Chapter 5:  A Reply

Chapter 6:  Paranoid Schizophrenia

Chapter 7:  A Star to Steer By

Chapter 8:  Challenges

Chapter 9:  Good Traits

Chapter 10:  Cindy, and School

Chapter 11:  At Lagoon

Chapter 12:  At Wenda’s House

Chapter 13:  An Accident

Chapter 14:  At the Zoo

Chapter 15:  Way Over in the Meadow

Chapter 16:  Elisabeth

Chapter 17:  A Spiritual Experience

Chapter 18:  A Break-Up

Chapter 19:  Out of the Trenches

Chapter 20:  Stresses

Chapter 21:  Brendan’s Pain

Chapter 22:  A Secret Society

Chapter 23:  A Refuge

Chapter 24:  Persecutions

Chapter 25:  Pain

Chapter 26:  In the Hospital

Chapter 27:  Safe, Or Not

Chapter 28:  An Awakening

Chapter 29:  Marvin, Brendan, and Trevor

Chapter 30:  A Preschool

Chapter 31:  A Bend in the Road

Chapter 32:  Enamored

Chapter 33:  A Letter to Brent

Chapter 34:  Brent and Me

Chapter 35:  Naked Again

Chapter 36:  Calling Them to Repentance

Chapter 37:  Transitions

Chapter 38:  Fear

Chapter 39:  A New World Order

Chapter 40: I Love You!

Chapter 41:  Sarin

Chapter 42:  Busted!

Chapter 43:  Travis

Chapter 44:  Ghosts

Chapter 45:  Vlad

Chapter 46:  War

Chapter 47:  Still Another Letter

Chapter 48:  Cedar Hills

Chapter 49:  Medications

Chapter 50:  Juanita’s House

Chapter 52:  Settled

Chapter 51:  A Basement Apartment

Chapter 53:  Ashamed

Chapter 54:  Relationships

Chapter 55:  A New Job

Chapter 56:  Brendan and Trevor

Chapter 57:  Trauma

Chapter 58:  Kathy Jones

Chapter 59:  More on Relationships

Chapter 60:  Divine Protection for My Sons

Chapter 61:  Dream Job

Chapter 62:  President Uchtdorf

Chapter 63:  Can I Make a Difference?

Chapter 64:  Two Funerals and Some Visits

Chapter 65:  Richard

Chapter 66:  On the Loose Again

Chapter 67:  Surgery and Recovery

Chapter 68:  More Adventures

Chapter 69:  Queen Jazmin

Chapter 70:  Papa John’s

Chapter 71:  Yanked from the Stage

Chapter 72:  Taking on Too Much at Once?

Chapter 73:  The Mail Run

Chapter 74: I Don’t Have to Be a Manager

Chapter 75:  A Granddaughter, and Self-Reliance

Chapter 76:  Another Reunion

Chapter 77:  A House for Trevor and Sam

Chapter 78:  CaptionCall, and Another Hospitalization

Chapter 79:  Looking Back—And Looking Forward

Bonus Section:

Working with the Spirit: Receiving Guidance for Your Life

Introduction to Working with the Spirit

Part I: Preparation

Chapter 80: Sam’s Day, My Day

Chapter 81: What about You?

Chapter 82: Faith in Christ, the Foundation for All Other Actions

Chapter 83: Other Preparations

Part II: Letting the Spirit Guide You

Chapter 84: Training for Life

Chapter 85: Have You Ever … ?

Seeking for My Toothbrush

To Curl, or Not to Curl

Loud and Clear

Not So Clear

Chapter 86: More Examples

Technology Gone Awry

Reading Errors

Flossing My Teeth

No Watch for Me, Thanks

Writing Errors

Part III: Disappointing the Devil

Chapter 87: How Satan Works

Temptations

Burping

Things Out of Place

Things Glaringly Out of Place

Chapter 88: Counteracting the Evil Influences of Satan

Focus Your Attention on the Savior

Choose the Right

Chapter 89: Conclusion

Introduction

Why am I writing this book?  I can best answer this question with a scripture:

Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven (Matthew 5:15-16).

In my life I’ve had many obstacles to my happiness. As I’ve worked to overcome these obstacles, I’ve hoped that by seeing my good works, other people would draw closer to their Father in Heaven.  If I can help even one person draw closer to God by my example of right living, it’s worth the effort it has taken me to write this book.

Writing this book has helped to strengthen my testimony that God lives and loves us. Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer, and it is only through Him that we can be saved.

This book—especially the bonus section, Working with the Spirit—is my attempt to also share with you, the reader, what I have learned from my dealings with the Holy Ghost in my life and to suggest ways to counteract the evil influences of Satan in our lives.

A Star to Steer By is written for:

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Less active members

Non-members

If you would like to obtain a copy of the Book of Mormon or if you would like to know more about the Church and its doctrines, contact your local Latter-day Saint missionaries, or call (in the United States and Canada) 1-888-537-7700.  Or, visit churchofjesuschrist.org.

Chapter 1:  Sliding Down the Mountain

The summer I was seven (1963), my parents planned a trip to the mountains for my brothers and sisters and me.  But I was feeling discouraged, almost suicidal, because of events that had transpired earlier that summer.  I felt that I could never be a kind, loving, and protective future mother, and it upset me deeply. I thought to myself, Why should I even try? I felt that I didn’t care whether I lived or died, and I had convinced myself that no one else did, either. I was also angry with myself that I was feeling so discouraged and upset.

I went to the mountains with my family.  But, my anger with myself consumed me.  As I was walking alone along a mountain path that day, my foot somehow slipped off the trail, and I found myself sliding down a steep embankment, with level ground some twenty or thirty feet below.

In that moment, the possibility of death or serious injury suddenly became very real to me, and I found myself faced with a decision: life, or death?  I didn’t see a light or hear a voice, but I felt that God was telling me that I shouldn’t treat my life so cheaply.  Life suddenly took on new meaning for me.  I had been given a great gift—my life—and I needed to be humble and grateful for it.  Instead, I had given up on life.

I chose life.  My feet stopped sliding, and I was able to very carefully reach out and grab a nearby bush.  I used it to pull myself back up onto the trail.  From that time on, I decided to keep trying to find happiness, despite the difficulties; and I decided not to give up on life.

This experience illustrates an important thing that I want to tell you, the reader, in this book: If you stay on the right path and do what God asks you to do, He will bless you richly.  As a seven-year-old, I tried to do God’s will.  I said my nightly prayers, and I tried to always be obedient to what my parents asked of me.  In return, that day in the mountains, God blessed me with protection from serious injury. 

Chapter 2:  My Letter to the White House

Algona, Washington

January 7, 2003

President George W. Bush

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, D.C.  20500

Personal and Confidential

Dear President Bush:

This letter has been waiting for over 24 hours for me to copy it and mail it to you.  I feel an urgency to get it to you. …

I want to tell you some things that are important to our nation’s security and our nation’s future.  Millions of lives are at stake, as well as the freedoms we hold so dear in our land known as America.

In November, 1998, I left my two children and my husband of 16 years, in Seattle, Washington, and moved to Orem, Utah, to live with my mother.  I eventually divorced my husband.

One of the factors in our divorce was a difference in religious views.  Even though my then-husband and I were both members of the same church, there seemed to be an ever-widening gap between us as to how important religion should be in our lives.  When I finally identified to myself that it was important to me to develop a personal relationship with the Savior, and when I asked my husband if he would make a commitment to try to develop a personal relationship with the Savior, he flatly refused.  Maybe I was wrong to ask this of him. …

Some odd things had been happening for the last two years before I left my husband and children.  My sister Elisabeth, who had been living with us for a time, kept showing up in odd places and at odd times, even after she had moved out of our home.

Elisabeth and I had some unprecedentedly bad arguments while she lived with us, and I believed that she was angry with me.  When I had the thought that she had been coming into our home at night, and at other times, and damaging my belongings, I had believed that this must be true.  I believed that this thought came from the Lord.  Now, however, as I write you this letter, I no longer believe that this thought came from the Lord.

Later, I noticed that I developed stomachaches after eating and drinking certain foods, and I noticed that my stomachaches seemed to occur most frequently after I had consumed food that had been opened and then stored overnight in the refrigerator or the cupboard, or stored there for a period of time while we were all away from the home.  As far as I was able to ascertain, my stomachaches did not occur from spoiled food.

As for my husband and children, if they had any stomachaches, they were not willing to acknowledge them as anything out of the ordinary.

When I had the thought that my sister Elisabeth must be poisoning our food, I believed that this thought came from the Lord.  Now, however, as I write you this letter, I no longer believe that this thought came from the Lord.

You may be wondering why I am writing you all this.  I have been very much wondering, myself, how much I should write.  When you are finished reading this letter, you may think I’m crazy.  Even if this is the case, please do not make the contents of this letter public.

I have suffered enough, having gone through these things; I have suffered again, as I have contemplated writing these things; I do not wish to suffer still further by being the object of ridicule.  Please be kind.

As difficult as it has been for me to write these things, I want to write to you everything that’s relevant, partly because I know these topics will probably come up later, and I want there to be no surprises for you.

In Utah, as had been my wish, I worked on developing a personal relationship with the Savior.  Two things that helped with this were: (1) scheduling my time more consistently, and (2) redeveloping a program of regular exercise (for me, this has been running).  I also started setting aside a regular time to plan the following day’s activities, and I started scheduling more, and more regular, time for prayer and scripture study. These things helped give me the courage and confidence to do what I knew—or believed I knew—to be right.

Then came a day when a seemingly small thing happened, but something that, if I believed my senses, I could reach only one conclusion concerning—and that conclusion was witchcraft, or the using of the powers of Satan to bring to pass things on this earth contrary to the laws of nature.  It seemed to me that my mother and those around me were using witchcraft against me.

Sometime during the last part of 1998 or the early part of 1999, I believe the Lord told me that those whom I had always thought of as parents … were not my real parents, and that my real parents had been killed.  Now, as I write you this letter, I believe this is correct.  I hope to give you some idea, in this letter or in other letters, as to why this was done to my real parents.  [See the first two paragraphs of Chapter 24 for more on this subject.]

Sometime in the first half of 1999 (I believe it was in the month of May), I began crying repentance to people in public places—chiefly in and around grocery stores and restaurants.  I thought that the Lord wanted me to do this, but I have since changed my mind.  I believe that the Lord wants many people to repent, but I have since realized that crying repentance in public is not likely to accomplish what one would hope for it to accomplish.  I am still puzzled as to why crying repentance in this way has so little impact on people… .

Then, in June, 1999, [I had an experience in my bedroom where I disregarded what the Lord told me.  I will not share it here, but this is what I wanted President Bush to notice:]

I learned something important from this experience, and it is this: When you go against what you know is right, or when you choose to disregard what the Lord tells you, He stops talking.  As we read in the Bible (Genesis 6:3, KJV): And the Lord said, My spirit shall not always strive with man …

And again (1 Samuel 28:15-18):

… And Saul answered, I am sore distressed; for the Philistines make war against me, and God is departed from me, and answereth me no more, neither by prophets, nor by dreams: therefore I have called thee, that thou mayest make known unto me what I shall do… .

Then said Samuel, wherefore then dost thou ask of me, seeing the Lord is departed from thee, and is become thine enemy? …

Because thou obeyedst not the voice of the Lord, nor executedst his fierce wrath upon Amalek, therefore hath the Lord done this thing unto thee this day.

I don’t want to write the rest, but I suppose I need to.  As I wrote before, these topics will probably come up later; and it is better that you should hear (or read) what happened, from me.

Within days of this experience in my bedroom [when I disregarded what the Lord had told me], I received what I now consider to be false revelation, that I should go naked in public.  I thought that the Lord wanted me to do this. [ I didn’t hear a voice or see an angel.  I simply had the thought come into my mind that I should walk around the block naked and that the Lord wanted me to do this to prove my love and obedience to Him.]

I felt that I didn’t dare displease the Lord, so I took off all my clothes except my socks and shoes and decided to walk around the block, in this naked condition, in Orem, Utah.

Let me back up a bit.  First, I decided to leave my bedroom in my mother’s house, in this naked condition, walk down a short hallway to the living room, walk around the living room, and return to my bedroom.  I did this.

My [then-] 18-year-old nephew, John, who was sitting in the living room with my mother, jumped up and said, Holy moly, when he saw me.  He did what I can best describe as running from me; but in his apparent attempt to avoid me, he got into my path as I headed back down the hall to my bedroom (at the end of the hall).  At the last possible moment, he went into my mother’s bedroom (next to mine) and avoided a collision with me.

The next thing I decided to do was walk around the perimeter of our unfenced front yard in this naked condition.  I left my bedroom and headed for the front door.

But my mother, Ruth Christensen, who was 78 years old at the time, was standing by the front door.  As I grasped the doorknob to open the door, she put her hands on the door to hold the door shut.  She said something like, Rebecca, you don’t want to go outside, do you?

I remember becoming very angry.  I thought to myself, Nothing’s going to stop me from doing this. I guess I was filled with adrenaline.  With all the strength of my body I gave a mighty pull, and I felt her resistance stop as I continued my action of opening the door.

She didn’t pursue me.  I went outside and walked all around the front yard.  Then I returned to the house and returned to my bedroom.

I then gathered my courage and prepared myself to walk around the block in this naked condition.  As I recollect, my mother was still in the living room, and as I recollect, she tried to talk me out of going outside.  But I knew what I felt I had to do.

I opened the front door, went outside, and walked toward the sidewalk that is alongside the street.  At about the time I reached the sidewalk, our neighbor across the street called out, Hey, (his wife’s name, I suppose), come look at this.  A naked lady.  I tried not to look at myself.  I kept my eyes trained straight ahead, intent on my goal of walking on the sidewalk around the block.

As I recollect, I encountered some children.  I tried not to look at them or pay attention to them.