Episode 322 – the hardest part is relaxing into this idea that you can have the most incredibly beautiful moment followed by an incredibly dark moment and that’s just the path of life.   Marcella took her last drink on September 6, 2018.  She lives in San Diego.  Marcella lives in the arena and she shares her journey with the world on sobriety, parenting, and authentic Mexican food.  She leads from the front in a transparent way that is very inspiring.  This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF).   Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.   Odette reflected on her recent comments about judgement.  When we feel judgement creeping up, we need to remind ourselves that person we are judging is a flawed human trying their best … just like me.  When we bring judgment into recovery space because someone is doing it differently than we are we invite shame. If we want to help others recover, we need to detach from our shame.  We need to manage our own path.  Odette referenced an Instagram post from Lara Fraser saying, “nobody gets to define your recovery but you.  You don’t get to have an opinion on someone else’s recovery – that’s control.  Control brings us closer to our ego and further from our soul’s expansion.   Odette referenced Demi Lovato who is being criticized for her actions in her path to recovery.  The reality is we are meant to stumble, to fall and to have a messy path.  When you are in the spotlight – everyone is watching your falls and judging them.   Let’s give ourselves and each other permission to have our own messy journey and don’t explain ourselves to others or worry about judgment.   Odette referenced a concept from Brene Brown’s book, Dare to Lead.  Brene says, the biggest barrier to a safe container is shame. Everybody needs a small, safe place to act and talk about doing hard work.  A place where you don’t have to be awesome or cool.  You need to be un-cool, awkward, and goofy.  We should strive to create safe containers where people can ask questions and be heard.    Leading by fear and perfectionist cultures does not allow us to create safe containers.  Perfection has no room in a safe container.      At Recovery Elevator, our goal is to provide a safe container for you.  You matter, and we are here for you.   [7:33]  Odette introduces Marcella   This episode was recorded in March which is Women’s Month and Odette is excited to have a fellow Mexicana share who is standing in her truth and unapologetically owning her power.   Marcella said she is flawed like others and recognizes age helps you realize you only get one shot at this life and you need to live it authentically because if you don’t and you continue pleasing others hiding your truth, you get sick and you die.  Everything is on the table.    Marcella made it clear she is sharing from her own path, perspective and journey.  She knows some of her views are unpopular.  She comes from a long line of alcoholics and her personal journey to healing is forgetting about labels and boxes while relaxing into the idea that she can forge her own path to what it means to be happy and addiction free.  She is living a happy and fulfilled life.  She reminds us we are always working on the path of life – often avoiding pain, causes more pain.   [12:41] Do you remember the last time you took a drink?   Marcella had to look up an event to remember when she took her last drink.  A family member she had never seen drunk was inebriated and Marcella had an incredibly negative reaction.  She recognized the only way she could control this for herself was to eliminate the external element.  Alcohol became an enemy.  She didn’t tell anyone for weeks or months, not even her husband.    Her last drink was on September 6, 2018.  She didn’t count days until she went back to look at the date which was a family party.  She doesn’t have any cravings.  She was a heavy drinker starting at age fourteen and once she stopped, that was it; the craving was gone.  It became ea