Discerning God's Purpose: A Father's Journey from Tragedy to Triumph

By Jim Kennedy

Every once in a while a book comes along that offers a different take on the topic of leadership. Every leader needs goals, objectives, people skills, and technical expertise to succeed. However, they also need a reason for leading in the first place. That reason is also the title of this book, Discerning God’s Purpose.

Leadership guru Jim Kennedy takes us on a journey of the tragic events in his life that led to him discovering his purpose in life and how that purpose led to a new and life-affirming calling. He shares how he uses his faith to lead him in the direction of his calling and how he came to rely on the words: “With God, all things are possible.”

Along the way, he shares ten leadership lessons that not only made him a better husband and father, but a better leader in all aspects of his life. He also includes a Bible-based leadership study guide that give readers the tools to apply these lessons to their own lives. Discerning God’s Purpose provides the tools necessary to become the leader that you were meant to be.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jim Kennedy
• Release date: Jan 14, 2017
• ISBN: 9780998447438

Jim Kennedy

Leadership guru Jim Kennedy used a set of tragic events to discover his purpose in life that ultimately led to a new and life-affirming calling as an author and speaker. In his first book "Discerning God's Purpose: A Father's Journey from Tragedy to Triumph", he shares how he used his faith to lead him in the direction of his calling and how he came to rely on the words: “With God, all things are possible.” Prior to answering the call to become a writer, Jim served in senior leadership and management positions for over twenty-eight years within the federal government and private sectors. He originally hails from Washington, DC but now calls Austin, Texas home. When he is not working, Jim is active as a husband, father, dog lover, professional football fan, and supporter of various causes in his community. Follow him on line at his website (http://jimkennedyleadershipcafe.com), on Twitter (@jklcafe), on Facebook (JimKennedyLeadershipCafe), and on LinkedIn (jim-kennedy).

Book preview

DISCERNING GOD’S PURPOSE

A Father’s Journey from Tragedy to Triumph

Jim Kennedy

DISCERNING GOD’S PURPOSE

A FATHER’S JOURNEY FROM TRAGEDY TO TRIUMPH

Copyright © 2016 by Jim Kennedy. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the author or publisher. All Bible quotations are from the English Standard Version.

Smashwords Editions

ISBN: 978-0-9984474-3-8

To My Family

Past, Present, and Future

Table of Contents

Introduction

Recognize Your purpose

1. Road Trip

2. 911

3. Joy to Sorrow

4. Hope

5. Establishing a Relationship with God

Understand My Purpose

6. Going Home

7. Seeking Wisdom

8. Understanding What Is Important

9. Having Courage

10. Don’t Settle

Living In My Purpose

11. The Move to Texas

12. Restoration

13. St. Vincent

14. Meeting Lezroy and Neilah

15. It’s Official

16. A New Purpose

A New Calling

17. Revenge

18. A Season of Change

19. Having Faith

20. A New Chapter

Conclusion: Coming Full Circle

Appendix

Acknowledgements

Small Group Study Guide

Introduction

I often read that experience is the best teacher. In the case of leadership development, I certainly find this to be the case. My career has spanned over twenty-eight years, with much of it being in leadership and management. At first, I will admit that I wasn’t that great of a leader (OK, I sucked). There, I said it. I had training on what to do and could give orders with the best of them, but a key component was missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it until I experienced adversity in a truly personal way. I often say that I’ve had leadership titles for most of my life but didn’t truly become a leader until I became a parent. At first, I tried to manage children as if they were my employees at work. I tried to impose my will on them and promised dire consequences if things didn’t go my way. Needless to say, that didn’t go over so well. When things went wrong, I couldn’t fire my children, nor could I fire teachers, caregivers, their friends, or others who were involved in their lives on a daily basis. Very quickly, I learned that things are managed, but people must be led. Instead of giving orders, I learned to teach and, through the art of influence, led my children down the path of life where they (and I) wanted to go.

Another key piece of my development was learning to be led. I don’t know everything. I needed a place to go where I could seek answers regarding the direction of my life. That came about when I developed my relationship with God. Like most people, I thought that I could weather the storms of life by myself until one day when I found myself in a very difficult position and needed to call on Him for help. Since that time, my development as a person and a leader has been hand in hand with that of my spiritual growth. I wouldn’t be the person that I am today without God. He has given me the confidence to be able to face any situation and come out victorious on the other side.

I have read more books on leadership and management than I care to count. Walk into any bookstore and there are countless books on the shelves that discuss the latest theories on this topic. There are many people who are much more qualified than I am to do that. I wanted to write this book simply to share my story on how I came to discover my purpose in life, which in turn led to a new calling that enabled me to become the leader that I was meant to be. I can’t say that I am the leader of a Fortune 500 company, but I can say that I am the leader of my family in our walk with Christ, and to me, that is worth more than silver and gold. I would love to be able to say that this book is entirely about me and my journey toward my purpose. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be true. I am blessed to go on this journey through life with an amazing wife, wonderful children, loving parents, and an extensive network of family and friends who have offered invaluable help along the way. That being said, I’m going to be honest and say that this journey is often messy and at times not a whole lot of fun; however, it was a necessary in understanding my particular assignment in life. I didn’t write this book for kudos or a pat on the back but to explain how God used a very difficult situation to reveal my purpose in life that ultimately lead to a new calling. I am not unique. What He did for me is something that He can also do for you. God uses everyday situations to speak to people and to move them toward the person that they were created to be. Eventually, God is going to use something in your life to reveal your purpose to you. All you have to do is open your heart and mind—and listen.

Most parents will agree that raising children can test people in every way possible. I have three children with very different personalities who approach life in completely different ways. My oldest daughter’s favorite thing is to ask the question why (about everything); my son likes to do things his way first and then ask questions later; and my youngest daughter is slow and methodical in her thinking because at times, she can be unsure of herself and doesn’t like to make mistakes. At times I may question their approach but not their motive. One of the things that I love about them is that they always want to do their best. As a parent, that’s all I can ask for. Dealing with these personalities and unique needs can at times drive us up a wall, but it is in these moments that we learned what true leadership is all about—encouraging and helping people to be their best. We learned to lead and guide through influence in order to help our children accomplish their goals. As I learned these lessons at home, I became much more tolerant and understanding toward colleagues and subordinates, which made me a better leader at work. All I can say is that it all started when I discovered my purpose.

It is often said that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and my story is a true testament to that fact. Leaders are not only responsible for developing themselves but also to help others who surround them. That is a key reason for me writing this book. I’ll say that my journey doesn’t start off in some nice, neat package but with the tragedy of losing two children. While watching a third fight for her life, I found the one true friend who eased my pain and was key in helping me to discover my purpose. Later, He fulfilled His promise of restoration by sending two new children into my life. He taught me the true meaning of leadership by blessing me with an opportunity to serve a cause that was greater than myself, and in doing so, gave my life a whole new meaning which in turn led me to my true calling. My prayer is that in reading about my journey, He will allow you to discover your purpose as well.

Recognizing My Purpose

We all have a purpose. If you didn’t, you would be dead. In the Bible, the Book of Proverbs was written by King Solomon, widely credited with being one of the wisest men who walked the face of this earth. As the son of King David, God appears to Solomon in a dream after his father’s death and asks what He can do for him. Without hesitation, Solomon asks for wisdom to rule over his people in a fair and just manner, and God grants his request. Solomon writes that God has a purpose for everyone; however, it is up to each of us to discover our purpose. In Proverbs 20:5, Solomon writes: The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out. When I was young, I thought that my purpose was to make money and to take care of my family. Unfortunately, it took a tragic event for God to get my attention so that He could ultimately reveal my purpose.

Chapter 1

Road Trip

This year for our family vacation, we took a two-week trip back east to visit family. We live in Austin, Texas, and since the majority of our family lives on the East Coast, we only get to see them once or twice a year. With a family of five, road trips are an economical way of traveling so that is what we planned to do. Most of the time when we travel back home, we usually are on a tight schedule because of work or school commitments, so we don’t have time to visit extended family. This year, since we were traveling in the summer and had more flexibility in our work schedules, we were not as rushed as in years past. Now that the kids are a little older, we planned this trip as a family in order to incorporate some of the places that they wanted to visit. We wanted to take the opportunity to see places that the kids may have only read about in history books as a way to expand their outlook and understanding of America. Also, since our oldest daughter will be a high school junior in the fall, it was time to start visiting colleges and universities that she wanted to consider attending after graduation.

One of the places that we were scheduled to visit is Cincinnati, Ohio. It has a special significance for us because that is where our oldest daughter was born. We left Cincinnati when she was three years old and hadn’t been back since. For years, she has been asking to visit Cincinnati, and for years we said, no. Part of the reason has been a busy schedule, and part of it has to do with opening up wounds from the past. Nevertheless, she asked to go, and since we had time and it wasn’t too far out of the way, we added it to the list. Two days after school ended for the year, we loaded up the van, closed up the house, and hit the road.

I usually like to get an early start when driving, but with three kids and a wife who absolutely hates long drives, we didn’t leave the house until two in the afternoon. As I get older, I tend to get tired if I drive late at night, but since I was trying to make it to Memphis, Tennessee before stopping to rest, I did what I had to do. We spent a short night at the Embassy Suites in Memphis, and by late morning we were back on the road and headed toward Cincinnati. Everyone was still tired from the previous day so they took the opportunity to get in some sleep time. Pretty soon, I was the only one awake in the car and was alone with my thoughts. We were passing through Nashville when I heard Dave Ramsey on the radio. He is a popular author and radio host who dispenses advice on various financial topics. This day, he was advising a caller on the wisdom of having a rainy day fund not only for emergencies but also for peace of mind. After the call ended, he told his listeners the story of how his grandmother created her own emergency fund: a jar that sat in the kitchen with the letters GOK or God Only Knows written on the label. Ramsey likes to say that in life, a little rain will always fall, and a rainy day fund is a good way to deal with the storms of life. He says that people often come up to him and say that he needs to be more positive in advising people how to get out of debt. He likes to joke that he is positive that it is going to rain, and people need to have a rainy day fund in order to stay out of debt. It is a joke that I had heard him say many times before, and it always brings a smile to my face. This particular day, however, the joke takes on a different meaning. I was headed to a place where I encountered one of the greatest storms of my life. I didn’t have a rainy day fund when I started, but I had that and more by the time I finished, one which gave my life new meaning. It happened almost seventeen years ago, but I remember it as if it were yesterday.

Chapter 2

911

I discovered God’s purpose for my life in 1999 at Good Samaritan Hospital in Cincinnati, Ohio. My wife, Renita, was pregnant with triplets and was in her twenty-fourth week of pregnancy. This was our first pregnancy, so we were very focused on doing everything that her doctor recommended to ensure a safe pregnancy. She had her regular checkups and everything up to this point was proceeding normally (as normal as things can be for a triplet pregnancy). During the first few months, her doctor allowed her to continue to work her normal schedule but as the pregnancy progressed, she gradually had to cut back on her hours and then finally the doctor put her on bed rest as a precaution.

When she started to dilate early, her doctor performed a procedure called a cerclage that is designed to help prevent preterm deliveries. Shortly after this procedure, she was admitted to the hospital so that she could be monitored more closely. Again, this is something that is not unusual for a triplet pregnancy, so we had no reason to be concerned. Most triplet pregnancies are considered high risk, and since this was our first pregnancy, her doctor wasn’t taking any chances. We anticipated her staying in the hospital for a few months so I usually tried to spend a few nights a week at the hospital and then spend the rest of the time at home. On one particular day (a Saturday), I woke up early and, since Renita seemed to be doing fine, I went home a few hours earlier to take a nap and a shower, grab some clothes and to complete a few tasks on the honey-do list that Renita left for me to do to prepare for three children coming home. I planned to go back to the hospital that night but really wasn’t in any particular hurry. She seemed to be doing fine, and besides, we still had three months to go until her due date.

Later that afternoon, I finished clearing out what was to become the nursery room and was on my way back to the hospital. At the time, smart phones hadn’t yet been invented, so I carried a pager and an ordinary cell phone in order to be reachable in an emergency. When I was about five minutes away, my pager went off. I looked down and saw 911 followed by Renita’s number at the hospital. I raced to the hospital as quickly as I could. I didn’t know it at the time, but my wife’s placenta had ruptured, and she was now fighting for her life. She was whisked into emergency surgery so that the doctors could perform an emergency C-section to try to save her life and the lives of our unborn children. I arrived on her floor to complete chaos. The nurses quickly told me what happened and pointed me to where I should go. I arrived in the labor and delivery surgical suite just in time to see her doctor go in and to get a glimpse of my Renita lying unconscious and being prepped for surgery. Over the next few minutes, I saw three isolettes with my very tiny brand new babies being wheeled out of the operating room headed down the hall to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Richard James (RJ), Jamie, and Julia were now in a fight for their lives.

Chapter 3

Joy to Sorrow

For the next few minutes, I ran between the NICU and the surgical area trying to find out what was going on. I must have looked like a train wreck because one of the NICU nurses talked to me in a nice calm voice and told me to calm down and go back to the surgical waiting area for news about my wife. She said they knew who I was and where I would be and would come get me if there was a need. I went back to the waiting room and called both sets of our parents and a few close friends to share the news. Our parents were now grandparents, but Renita and the kids were still very much in danger. I promised that I would pass