Bittersweet: Real Talk on Love Sex Family & Transformation, #1

By Nubi

Belinda was an up and coming A1 student that thrived on creativity and love. With a burning passion for the Culinary Arts & Music, she was definitely on the verge to living an exciting fulfilling life, until the tables begin to turn. Living in a home doesn’t make it “Home Sweet Home”, a lesson Belinda learned too early in life. She didn’t have to go to jail but she did for a charge wrongfully entered by one who should have protected her. Once free, her life became a whirlwind of events filled with deep sexual relationships and beautiful packages of well-deserved happiness. Can you remember the last time you were allowed to just be free?

• Language: English
• Publisher: GNectar Publishing, LLC
• Release date: May 22, 2012
• ISBN: 9781492781127

Nubi

Nubi is an author of short stories and novels  and much more who also performs music with her band at venues and private parties.

Book preview

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all of the wonderful women in my life. You have truly inspired me to do the unthinkable and soar to heights that I never thought imaginable. I love you all. You each have a special place in my heart.

Table of Contents

Title 1

Dedication 3

Preface 6

Chapter 1 7

Chapter 2 18

Chapter 3 24

Chapter 4 38

Chapter 5 46

Chapter 6 55

Chapter 7 67

Chapter 8 91

Chapter 9   97

Chapter 10  125

Chapter 11  133

Chapter 12  138

Chapter 13  150

Chapter 14  155

Chapter 15  160

Chapter 16  165

Chapter 17  177

Chapter 18  183

Chapter 19  188

Epilogue  204

Preface

This story was created from my personal journey of happiness.  Learning to let go and live is the best remedy for a life full of trials and tribulations. If you are not living your life to the fullest, then you are cheating yourself. This story was born out of necessity. It depicts a part of me that has never been explored, until now. Its purpose is to show the authenticity of life and personal experiences, as well as give the reader the encouragement and motivation to overcome any obstacles.

Chapter One

Reminiscing about my life gives me such clarity. Like most people, I’ve been through a lot and seen a lot. When you’re a little girl, you expect the world to be wonderful but what you soon realize is that it’s very cruel. You try your very best not to let it break you or eat you alive. But when I think about it all, I wonder why me.

********************

Kindergarten is the beginning of a young child's academic life. Albeit it’s anticipated, it’s also dreaded by both the child and the parents.

I remember my first day of school like it was yesterday. I was excited and petrified at the same time. As I walked to school with my mother, my head was filled with lots of wonderful and exciting expectations. I'm going to school like a big girl now. I'm going to be a smart big girl, I thought to myself. As we approached the school entrance, my excitement grew tremendously. It wasn't until we arrived at my classroom that I realized my mother had to leave me there alone. I began to cry for her, but was soon comforted by my cousin who I realized was also in my class.

It's okay Belinda, Freddie said. You will see her after school.

Okay, I sniffled, as I dried my face with my shirt sleeve.

From then on, I recognized the new routine and was no longer upset about my mother leaving me.

School was exciting and fulfilling. I was learning all sorts of things and I was great at coloring too. I always colored inside the lines, and all of my colors actually went together with my coloring sheets.

Another exciting event coming up was Halloween. I couldn't wait to dress up and come to school as my favorite character, the California Raisin. I got the idea from the California Raisin commercial I saw.  I felt I had chosen the best character of all. I loved those little dancing raisins. I knew almost every commercial, every dance move, and all of the songs they sang.

I happily told my mother, For Halloween, I want to be a California Raisin like in the commercial.

Oh that's a good idea baby. You would be really cute as a California Raisin. She said, smiling brightly at me. 

You think we can find one like that at the store? I asked in my teeny little kindergarten voice.

I tell you what, we can make it. my mother exclaimed proudly. How does that sound? she asked with excitement.

You could make my costume, mama? I asked, beaming with happiness.

I jumped up and down with excitement. I was going to be a California Raisin after all.

Wait, I stopped jumping and said with confusion. How do we make it? I asked curiously.

I'll figure something out baby. We can be as creative as we want, dear my mother said.

Okay! I beamed happily again, and with that, I set my mind to making sure I was the best California Raisin ever.

As the days flew by, my mother had finally figured out how to make my raisin costume. One day as I lounged around the house, my mother told me to come here so I could do a fitting for my costume. Excitedly, I obeyed.

You got my costume ready mama? I asked happily.

Well, we're going to make it. she said as she pulled out two small boxes of black trash bags.

What's that? I asked, perplexed. Are you throwing something away?

No, mama replied. We're going to make your costume out of this.

A trash bag? I responded with a bit of disappointment. I don't want a trash bag. I want my costume! I began to pout.

Look, mama said as she pointed to a picture of a raisin. The raisins have wrinkles on them and when you look at the trash bag it has wrinkles too. I can cut your face and arms out. Then you will look just like the California Raisins on the commercial, she explained.

I looked at the picture then at the bag. I guess it made sense.  Okay mama. I just want to be the best raisin ever, I said as I agreed.

After that, I was on board with my costume design. I watched excitedly and dumbfounded as my mother used scissors to cut out eye holes, a nose hole, a mouth hole, and arm holes. "I'm going to have the best costume out of everyone," I told myself.

Okay. my mother said. Let's try it on.

She opened the bag up and placed it over my head. I was suddenly engulfed in darkness. I tried hard to find the eye holes.

I can't see! I exclaimed, irritated but still excited.

Okay wait, wait baby, my mother said. We will have to try it again. The eye holes don't match up and the arm holes aren't level. I think it's a bit too long for you as well. she added.

A bit worried, I asked, Do we have enough trash bags to cut up?

Yeah and if we don't, I'll take two and stick them together or something, but we will figure it out. I promise. she said.

Okay! I jumped up and down happily. In my eyes, my mother was God, the Queen, and my everything. There wasn't anything she couldn't do, other than make my pancakes too thick, but even so, she was always trying to make them just the way I liked. She was still the best mama I ever knew. She never gave up on anything. I loved her for trying so hard to make me happy.

After a few hours of trying, we ended up with maybe three to four messed up trash bags. Not bad, considering how long she struggled. My mother finally decided to just make one hole for my face to fit through. She placed it over my head and body so that she could properly cut out the arm holes.

There we go! my mother exclaimed, proud that she had finally gotten it anatomically correct.

Finally, I said, exasperated. So what else? I asked, still excited with the fact that we had just created my California Raisin Halloween costume.

Okay, I have to get you a black shirt and black bottoms to wear underneath. Then, that's it! my mother exclaimed.

I was so happy to know that my costume was completed. I began to dance the California Raisin dance form the commercial.

My mother chuckled.

Okay. Take it off before you tear it up. she said.

Okay mom. I agreed cheerfully.

*************

A few weeks later, the day had finally come for me to dress up for Halloween. I couldn't wait to get to school and show off my homemade California Raisin costume that my mother had proudly made.

My cousins and I arrived at school with our costumes. We were glad to see that other students had participated as well. There were some really good costumes that we saw, but of course, none like mine. I was very happy about being one of the California Raisins from the commercial. I was sure everybody would know who, and what, I was, or at least that's what my 5-year-old mind told me.

As we walked into our classroom, our teacher stood at the door as usual, awaiting all of her student's arrivals.

Is that a trash bag? Hmmm.. what are you Belinda? Ms. Cassandra asked, looking confused.

I'm a California Raisin! I radiated with excitement.

A what, dear? she asked a bit puzzled.

You know. The California Raisin from the television commercial! I said again.

I finally had the chance to show her my moves that I had been practicing.

See, I said as I dropped my book bag and began showing off.

"Oooo, I heard it through the grapevine (side step, shuffle, step then turn),

not much longer would you be mine (shuffle, shuffle, step, and turn), "

I heard it through the grapevine." (step, turn, step, and step).

Taa daaa! I said after I finished with my performance.

Ohh child! My teacher exclaimed, too tickled to contain herself.

Okay class. Let’s all sit down quietly and I'll be right back. she said.

We all obeyed and started talking amongst ourselves.

Belinda, please come with me. Ms. Cassandra ordered.

I followed her down the hall to one of her fellow teacher's classrooms. She walked into the classroom and started talking to the other teacher.

Guess what she is for Halloween, Ms. Cassandra said to the lady.

Is that a trash bag? the other teacher asked, looking a bit horrified.

Girl, wait until you see this. Now go on, show her Belinda, my teacher requested.

Proudly, I took my stance and began the routine of singing and dancing that I had thoroughly learned from the television commercial. When I finished my mini-performance, the teachers began to chuckle.

Wow, that was good Belinda, the other teacher said.

Thank you, I glimmered happily.

What in the world? the other teacher asked softly. How did she come up with this? I heard her whisper to Ms. Cassandra.

I don't know, Ms. Cassandra whispered back, but isn't it just too funny? she asked in between laughs. Well girl, I'll talk to you later.

After she said her goodbye, we returned to our classroom at the end of the hallway.

I was so happy with my little performance but unbeknownst to me, I was apparently making a fool out of myself.

As the day wore on, I hadn't realized how hot my costume would get, and apparently my mother hadn't either. Underneath my costume, I wore a black shirt, and black leggings. I also wore the infamous black and white Buster Brown shoes. All of the black had me roasting but I was determined to keep my costume on just like all the other children, no matter how much I sweated. Eventually I had to tell my teacher that I was hot, and she realized I had to be telling the truth with how profusely I was sweating.

Do you want to take your costume off, honey? she asked sweetly.

Not really. I want to keep my costume on and take pictures with my friends, I said in my teeny little voice.

Okay, okay. How about this? Ms. Cassandra began. Let's take it off when we aren't taking pictures and then when it's time to take pictures, we can put it back on so you can be just like everyone else. No one will even notice, she said.

I rolled the thought around in my head, and said, Okay, in my teeny little voice.

As soon as the costume was off, I immediately began to feel cooler.

Isn't that better? my teacher asked.

Uh huh. I said relieved. I was beginning to feel so much better. Although the other kids could breathe in their costume, I still felt like I had the superior costume. That was until all the picture taking began.

Each time there was a picture being taken, I scrambled to place my costume over my head without tearing it, and each time I did, the person taking the picture would ignorantly ask Is that a trash bag?

No! my teacher would always say. She's a California Raisin from the television commercial.

A what? was always their response.

And my teacher would always follow up with a Show them Belinda.

And like a pet monkey in a zoo, I obeyed. I must have repeated my song and dance routine five times that day before I realized it was just too much work. Finally, towards the end of the day, I was fed up with that hot costume. I didn't want to put it on anymore because I was hot. I remember being hotter than a jalapeño pepper in the Sahara Desert with a temperature of 105 degrees.

By the time school was over with, that trash bag had been torn up and placed into the trash. Not to mention, I was a bit bothered that my mother had me hot as hell in that costume. Meanwhile, all the other children still had on their REAL costumes, happy and COOL as a jaybird.

Needless to say, I thought being a California Raisin was a great idea, but my mother’s execution of the costume spoiled it for me, literally.

When school was out, we made our way straight home. I walked into the door feeling glad to be away from all the laughter and excitement of the day. My mother asked about school and about my costume.

Hi honey. How was school? And where’s your costume? she asked.

It was okay, I replied. And I put that trash bag in the trash. I added in, sounding a bit irritated as if I was 90 years old.

What happened? Did it rip? my mother asked with concern.

No, I said. You just made that costume too hot and I didn't like it anymore.

Oh, dear. my mother said, Well I'm very sorry. I thought it was a very cute costume and a creative idea, she said, as my older sister walked in on the conversation.

What was cute? Pauline asked.

Oh I made your sister's Halloween costume as a California Raisin, my mother responded.

How? my sister asked with a smirk on her face, intrigued.

Oh, I just took a black trash bag and cut a hole in it for her face and arms. It was so cute. You should have seen it.

With that, my sister burst into a horse-like laughter.

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