Crystallized

By Dean Daniels

This book is a story that is being written worldwide: the epidemic of meth use. The author has attempted to put into words the feelings an addict has while being trapped in the darkness of drug abuse. It is a world of violence, hallucination, and fantasy, not being able to distinguish fact from fiction. His hope is to possibly touch the hearts of others in order to avoid the heartache he and his family have experienced, and to give courage to those still lost in the labyrinth of drug abuse. To tell them they can escape from the clutches of drugs and begin to live again.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 29, 2016
• ISBN: 9781483585833

Book preview

Eleven

CRYSTALLIZED

Chapter One

There are several different titles I could use for this writing of mine, but I’ve settled upon Crystallized.  The reason being I am no longer considered a youngster but am older, more mature, and the past 30 years, unbelievably over a quarter century, I have unfailingly dedicated to alcohol and drugs.  When people admit they just don’t know where the years have gone, in a sense they do.  For example, five years dedicated to a certain job, ten years, say, to a relationship, three here, another five spent in a certain location.

Having spent this time with a no-doubt addictive personality, I wonder just where all this time was spent.  I’m remembering events, girlfriends, even cars and where I’ve lived.  But in every location, although most of my life has been a blur, I have a recollection of having this dread, actually even a fear, of my addictions.  The reason for this is I’ve always known what goes up always comes back down, and even having more velocity coming back down.  My self-made, so-called depression got the ball rolling.  But was I depressed?  Not at all.  I had absolutely nothing to be depressed about.  I believe I actually liked the drama of thinking I had no friends, family, life and so on.  I had everything going for me.

My dad would have given me the car lot he owned if it hadn’t been for my indifference.  The disappearance of my friends, the loss of their lives, my family, some of their lives, replaced the pretending of the disintegration of my life and turned it into a reality.  The saying that one does not mature past the age of his first drink, per se, an alcoholic, or for an addict doing his first line, shot, or hit, this is true to a certain extent.  But due to changes, ever so gradual, add up to a lot over a period of years. 

You’ll return to see a place, possibly your home, neighborhood, people, and what you knew is totally, absolutely different.  You might run into friends that were so much a part of your life.  They technically knew you better, due to the fact they looked upon you from a different perspective, than what you viewed yourself.  But somehow, something’s changed about them.  The past is what you have in common.  But alas, your drugs and your drinking haven’t changed a bit.

Some words of advice:  If you have fond memories of that neighborhood and you don’t have any presence of people of the time frame you are fond of that you can take the walk down memory lane with, your fondness for the area can diminish quickly.  As my advice in the past unknowingly would have been - unsatisfied with your moment in time?  Drink, do drugs and forget your present thoughts.  Decades later you realize the vanity of your doings.

You try to bring back the good times of your using, forevermore.  Here’s your life - being a child, practically being careless, but only home and school in your life.  Then comes the day of discovering your first buzz.  Wow!! For the  norm, you’re with your friends, the time is awesome.  If you’re a person with sentimental feelings, you need to be careful.  The reason?  It amplifies your feelings of love, but deadens your feelings of caring.  Almost sounds contradictory, doesn’t it?  If there’s someone in your life you care about, the relationship automatically changes.  Even to the point of where history will be changed.  Yes, history.

Generations have depended upon certain events to occur - you’ve just taken your first step, if only a baby step, towards changing your life forever.  As the saying goes, What goes up must come down.  So, ironically, the better time you have at the first occurrences of your addictions, or addiction, whatever that may be, it increases your chances of being a life-long user. 

In my opinion, your subconscious will store those times away.  Therefore, your mind will think subliminally it can return, as if the times will remain the same.  It’s as if, say, you know the landmarks will stay permanently in which you and they, they being friends and family, were always before.  Therefore they’ll always be there.

To the contrary, just the opposite.  You’ve up the chances of them changing right before your very eyes. You’ve used a mind-altering substance.  To a higher, darker level, they’ve upped their chances, if it’s their first few times, of leading a life of ups and downs, of unprecedented levels, failed relationships, financial failure, and even more – depression, and a battle that possibly won’t be won.  If it is won, they’ll have scars for life, but if it’s not defeated – death. 

This is a fight for life, as in Roman days.  In this corner  John Doe.  In this corner, an eight-inch brown bottle.  Come to find out, this eight-inch brown bottle defeats John Doe in every round and in every aspect of his life.  Not only does he lose the battle in the end, he suffers tremendously along the way.  The bottle not only wins, but John Doe’s family suffers also enormously, but survives to tell the tale of their loved one’s torture.  But, back to the part of people changing.

People change constantly.  Look at a child’s portrait at a certain age, then a few months later.  The change is huge.  Adults are the same way, just changing mentally.  But what’s odd, their addictions carry on throughout their whole life.  So obviously, that part of their brain being used for addiction is utilized their whole life.  Addictions change people, but people cannot change addictions.  Think about that.  There must be a part of the brain that’s used throughout life that supports addiction and bad memories. 

Now, for my addiction:  Crystal meth.  Meth is a whole world in and of itself.  Within minutes, the crystals tingle within as does Pop Rocks did when we were kids.  It opens up your mind as the crystals enter your brain, seemingly enough, but possibly dehydrating your brain, being the soft tissue that it is, relinquishes its moisture to the crystals that hungrily absorb water like a sponge.  One would think crystal meth would actually make the density of the mind smaller as a result of draining it of fluids.  Possibly the neurotransmitters are confined to smaller spaces, for the electrodes cannot combine, making a person tweek, or concentrate on just one thing.

Oddly enough, a lot of people tweek on electronics.  The human body technically is a machine that knows what it wants.  Therefore, needing more electricity, if this theory is true, it tinkers with computers, modems, VCR’s, toasters, items with electric power, as if hungering for more neurons, or electricity to the brain.  It’s drawn to something it longs for, it needs, possibly being the tweek effect.  It takes a useless thought and indefatigably pursues it, almost as in rhetoric thinking.  But possibly could that be effective in some fields?

What if a crystal meth user had an undying love for, say, the field of medicine?  An undying love for the disintegrating of hatred?  To discover a cure for cancer?  To find how to reverse the disintegration of the ozone layer, by finding a reversal of the damage of the rain forest, or on the same note, an interest in botany to make a hybrid plant assimilate the world’s pollution?  To solve the problem of the world’s resources, as in fossil fuel?  Surely your answer is:  Why, that’s insane!!!  No drug addict can do that!  But how do you know?  You don’t, really.

Obviously, the people that do things orthodoxically aren’t cutting it.  Think about this:  Adolf Hitler’s scientists invented crystal meth and almost conquered the world!  Now, that was insane!  But what about this?  Educated people, scholars of different branches of medicine, different parts of the world congregating and corroborating their knowledge and ideas of medical, environmental, say, the greenhouse effect, synthetic plastics poisoning, cancer research, and brainstorming after the use of meth.  Is the Devil himself worried about the use of meth because a lot of good could actually come of this?  Therefore, stemming the utmost prosecution for this drug.  Maybe they’re unknowingly banning the use of something that could save their very life!  What if? 

For the part of coming down, coming down is the reality of mankind.  The paranoia that stems from meth use is the belief it’s so bad.  I believe people feel so good from the crystal, a different type of knowledge sets in.  They realize that people actually hate somebody that feels too good!  They know they are hated for this feeling of euphoria.  Guilt for feeling so good manifests itself into paranoia, for people despise people who know how to make themselves feel good. 

Do you think people are happy when you are happy?  Hell, no.  Misery loves company, and how dare you for trying to make yourself feel good when I’m just a miserable fuckin-hater!!  If you think people like this don’t exist, think again, and you’ll come to the realization reasons like this is where the paranoia stems from.

Now for the psychic part, my personal favorite.  It opens up the part of your brain that I believe is coincidental in electromagnetic fields and the use of crystal, possibly in the neurons capturing the frequency of radios, walkie-talkies, and even telepathic tendencies.  It’s never been proved scientifically.  It never will, but crystal’s catch matter, if you can even refer to frequencies as matter, are more like invisible matter.  Thoughts are things and, yes, crystal captures matter such as thoughts.

People will deny that powers like this exist, but for some people under the influence of crystal, they do exist.  For some odd reason, you’ll notice that almost all crystals are symmetrical, perfectly shaped, as in snow crystals.  Look at how perfectly shaped they are.  Even children making snow crystals on construction paper fold the paper, draw a design to their liking, cut out the shapes when the paper’s twofold so the crystal will be, or snowflake, will be perfectly symmetrical.  Not sometimes … always.

If it’s not performed in this manner, the snowflake is … well, not a snowflake.  Almost inherently, children even know crystals, at least snow crystals, are symmetrical and have to be created in accordance.  Why doesn’t this theory exist for humans?  Maybe the crystals attempting to crystallize in the brain is what causes so-called tweekers to have things so clean, so operable, so immaculate.  The crystallization is causing symmetry in the mind. 

Ways that it can manifest itself is in something like counting cards.  Everything in the universe runs in such perfect symmetrical fashion, so does the fashion in playing cards.  You might be wondering, Is he for or against crystal meth?  I’m not going to lie to you.  It’s a little of both.  Like I’ve repeated; what goes up must come down.  So does my perspective and attitude upon the use of it.  But I will admit, 99% of my negative experiences with it were caused by outside influences, not the doings of mine.

Give me a book, preferably medical, and I’ll summarize the prognosis, the symptoms, the bodily system in which this disease can even possibly stem from, which a lot of the time does not necessarily derive from the known textbook explanations, for the part of my brain that is not functioning without this outside influence is perfectly operable at this point in time. 

I personally believe that more than one of the seven parts of the mind at this time are connecting, therefore, giving you better idea and thought patterns, also giving you a broader spectrum of analysis.  Here’s food for thought:  Your body has different systems, obviously, to sustain life.  But what if it takes different neurons, different neurotransmitters to understand the anatomy of the human body?  For example:  Say the hormonal system, better known as the endocrinatic system is linked to another part of the brain called the amagdala?

And say the lymphatic system is hooked up, so to speak, to the frontal lobe?  And the central nervous system is linked to the posterior?  This is just, obviously, a theoretical, but what if the wiring is wrong?  Pondering for a cure may not be possible without the understanding of tampering with the amplification of the amperage of the thought process.  The thought probably disgusts you, thinking of some person ingesting crystal meth to do research of, say, the cure for cancer.  If it does, you’re entitled to your opinion.  But not everyone that does this is a criminally insane human being. 

If you have an open mind, read on, for this is part of my love for the drug, to help people, or as the doctors said, addiction, or elation, and your mind is closed.  Close the book and go enjoy life drug-free, because if you can do that, I congratulate you, far beyond words.  I really do.  But cures for these ailments haven’t worked in the past.  Try a different approach.  They say that the mind is powerful enough to heal itself.  I believe that fully. 

To change the subject; I’m not in the slightest way saying that a person should go and experiment, or do crystal meth.  There can be major repercussions, legally, mentally and spiritually.  I’m simply explaining my opinion on the subject.  I’ve been ridiculed, but to the contrary, exalted on my views under the influence.  Believe me, I’m just stating to not discredit a human being for being himself.

At the present time, during the writing of this book, I’m imprisoned.  But back to before.  Personally, when I’m under the influence, I’m more attention divided, meaning as I’m reading about the endocrinatic system, it isn’t only this system, it understands the body as a whole, as in everything connects, with the functioning of the mind open, and not as in only going one system at a time meeting another, all in synchronisation.

But then there’s the times that you realize there’s a much darker world connected to the meth than most even realize, as in a portal to the spirit world where you’re very minutely linked.  Very minutely, but, oh, yes, linked.  How it worked for me personally was, and this is actually somewhat difficult for me to explain, I would chase the past.  I would chase history.  I’ve technically been born into psychicness, whether clairvoyance gets magnified in all is not a question I can answer, but it manifests itself in myself, definitely.

This is going to proceed to be a writing in which honesty and straightforwardness will be prevalent.  But to proceed onto the psychic, or the clairvoyance, obviously, when you’re doing methamphetamine, your system’s electricity magnifies, your pupils dilate.  Your hearing improves, you see things in a different mode.  In my own words, your frequency changes, like turning the volume up on a television. 

Since there is an invisible spirit world out there, you, in my opinion, tune in your extrasensory abilities to communicate, or at least take a step more towards their channel.  People that don’t believe in this, the most basic way I’ll explain to them is, Well, I can’t see the wind blowing, but nonetheless, it’s there.

Prairie dogs communicate by frequencies, in high-pitched tones, and I believe spirits might possibly cause tangible items to create noises at certain times to cause things to happen.  Have you ever actually tried to hear things that sound like others - certain octaves and certain tones, or half of them, or whatever the case may be?  They sound similar to others.  Would it be possible for spirits to, say, make a dog bark in order to get someone frightened, to leave a house, look, if only for a few seconds, to change the natural course of events?  You are probably asking yourself, Am I reading the writings of a madman?

Well, you decide for yourself, but I’m somewhat analyzing myself on the outcome of my drug use.  This book can help you realize that you’re not alone in your thoughts, for I’ve shared many a story on how crystal meth affects a person.  Your attitude may be for me, or against me, but I’m openly writing about a subject that is in no other terms, Voo-doo.  The power of meth is unmistakably unprecedented, and never underestimate the enormous power of this drug.

If it took me down, it can absolutely take you down.  I don’t mean to sound like an arrogant, pompous man, but I have ambition oozing from my pores.  Owning two companies by the time of my early 20’s proved that.  It only took a very short time afterward for me to be chasing meth full-time.  All of my earnings were spent on use of it, but, oh, the different, un-naive perspective, and in-your-face attitude in six months, I acquired was more so than in my 20-some odd years of life.  It was, I’m sure, being tended to by a couple, if not more, demons standing by and watching and laughing, pulling the strings of a puppet, which was me.

I’ve definitely come to the realization my relationship with the drug is one of love, and one of hate.  I do realize that I sound like a meth advocate at times, and at others like a spokesperson for NA, or the like.  This is simply my experiences, good and bad alike, about the subject of crystal meth.  Take it or leave it.

But if I could open the eyes of someone to not do it, all my usage would be worth it, and over the years,  my times of feeling helpless and worthless would actually have been worth it.  One thing that hangs over my head with people since I have used crystal for years, is the stigma that is associated with it, and I bear the burden somewhat for what others have committed.

Personally, I’ve never committed any crime while doing it, other than I’m ingesting it, which is a crime.  Take that as you will, but I like to expand my mind in a way to help others, expanding my thought process  to understand the field of medicine better, or to get a day’s work accomplished, not a day of violence, thievery, or anything pertaining to that.  But you will reach your decision-making by simply saying doing meth is wrong and usually rhetoric thinking.

I think somebody that refuses to open their mind by something that somebody who would probably go the extra mile more so than 99% of the people they are acquainted with, should get the same treatment for themselves from that person they’re criticizing, and even compared with offspring of vipers.  This is a total theoretical.  Doctors, a lot of the times, will go the extra mile for people. 

Most of the general population are a group of self-righteous human beings.  Then there was the infamous doctor who has studied cancer all his life, and is a world-famous spokesperson on the detection, the fighting of, the whole overall picture of the disease, and has innumerable years of study about it, but for some unknown reason, possibly got addicted to meth, maybe at a college party, tried it, loved it, went home at 3:00 in the morning, definitely didn’t want to sleep, felt like hitting the books. 

There was this certain plateau he felt like he had hit in his studies, lack of interest, just fatigue, too little time for himself, the whole burnout picture.  There was a test the coming week that had him worried, certain anatomical parts he didn’t understand, amongst other things.  He understood everything he had not earlier in the day, and, oh, so clearly!  He was so clear, he went into the field of cancer, and cured it!!  But these long years of studies were complemented by long lines of methamphetamine, for in order to be a world-renown doctor on the subject, it took many a night of oil burning, and lengthy, to say the least, studies to fine the cancer cure. 

For the other character in this story is a self-righteous, goody two shoes, who probably at one time experimented with drugs, but mind you, as every hypocrite will remark, That’s beside the point.  There is a beloved family member of theirs with an incurable disease.  Cancer.  They take their loved one to this cancer curer, who is also has this hypocritical, I’m just the best, do as I say, not as I do, attitude.  For some odd reason, this doctor knows these twin attitudes.

This person pleads for the doctor to save their loved one, over and over, for their very happiness rests upon his expertise that has had a little boost, and you all know what I’m hinting at.  He begs and he pleads to this medicine man, as the doctor replies, I’m sorry.  I am a crystal meth addict.  This would be an answer that would totally change the life of this person.  But, really, it’d be the exact same treatment this person would display to him, and not only would he display it to him, he would not think twice.

Maybe meth users should have hypocritical views, too.  Possibly some users have ingested it to magnify their love for life, and absolutely nothing else.  Since the non-user has made life much rougher for the user, the user might ought to possibly make life much rougher for the non-user, give them a bonafide reason to complain.  The effort would fervently be pursued, for the crystal meth user’s energy level is incomparable.  And we would pursue it more adamantly.

I was watching the news once.  This fellow had murdered someone, and the authorities were searching for him.  He’d committed this crime wearing a red shirt, therefore, everyone wearing a red shirt must be an accomplice, or know something.  That’s absurd.  Let the punishment, or in this case, accusations, fit the crime.  It’s your body.  You can go out and catch AIDS having sex without a condom, but, oh, no, you can’t ingest drugs with a bad stigma.  What scares the hell out of me is an irrational person.  You know who you are.

If crystal meth is as heinous, terrible and world-changing as critics say, the Bible, which is an authority on all things, never once mentions the use of crystal meth.  But it does mention alcohol which, mind you, is legal.  Drink until you pass away from cirrhosis of the liver, but don’t drive.  Very understandable.  But drink?  Yes.  What was Jesus’ first miracle?  Turning water into wine!!  If these people would cease fire, even a little, meth use would more than likely decrease.  I’ll always do what my enemy detests.  In this case, crustal meth.  If meth use were so devastatingly important or crucial to the existence of man, God would have surely at least mentioned it.  It has no effects on the outcome of this society, or your small-minded world.  So relax and have a drink.  For me, I’ll take a line.

I’ll begin my contradictory section at this time.  I’ve heard of all the friction regarding that when you’re a user, your family suffers terribly from your lack of being present.  But has this problem stemmed from earlier absences before your drug use was an alleged problem?  I do admit there is a time table that gets eaten away when a person is addicted to a substance. 

Like earlier in the book, I may appear as an advocate, and then suddenly turn around, practically in the same sentence, and whole-heartedly bash drug use in the nose.  I need to remind you, crystal meth was some of the best, and some of the most nightmarishly bad times of my life.  But on a different token, the people who are your friends and family may overreact to the drug use, actually to the point when they figure this individual has taken crystal meth, it is an unforgivable mistake.

So I think they believe this drug usage actually will forevermore exalt their position in life high above that of the addict.  They eternally will automatically use this mistake against them for the rest of their life, and even further than that if they happen to outlive this, oh, so terrible person.  You could straighten your life out completely, but this hypocritical, self-righteous person’s outlook will still be the same.  They’re the type of miserable human being that I believe technically thrives on the errors of a human being, and their heart leaps with gladness when they find fault in the acts of others.

The first thing you need to do is get this person removed from your life, even more so than your addiction, for this type of behavior is more damaging to your soul and well-being than any use of meth.  Is your lack of self-esteem being eaten at, your self-worth disintegrating like a wood fountain infested with termites?  Remove them from your life.  You’ll find that your addiction is lessened, your wanting, your craving, your very appetite for the drug will more than likely diminish, simply disappear. 

Sounds quite easy, doesn’t it?  It is.  But the problem is getting this dark cloud, namely, this critical person out of your life may be harder than it sounds.  I guarantee, yes, guarantee your happiness will quickly return shortly afterward.  You’ll also notice that I didn’t mention in this short segment regarding ridding the use of crystal meth. 

If that can occur, you’ll even more than usual, more often than not, find even after you have discontinued the drug, they’re blaming the riddance of their relationship upon the use of crystal meth.  You’ll find even after your quitting that they think they have one up on you, so to speak, and they’re the one actually, someday, with their doings and hypocrisies, will fall downward, have a lovelier outcome of their existence than you.

People like this are to be shied away from at all times.  If they speak harmful things to you in your presence, even in anger, take your leave immediately, for think of the damage they cause in and out of your presence.  A lot of addictions can be totally eradicated with the disappearance of relationships like this.  Meditate upon your life.  Meditate upon the goings-on between you and this person or those people.

If there’s any question it’s detrimental to your well-being, that your life be stress-free as much as possible, you’re more than likely thinking:  Easier said than done.  Think about this:  They may have initially caused your addictions, but you’re not as bad as everybody says.  Believe that, because I can guarantee the people surrounding you have accused you of everything under the sun. 

Here’s a theoretical:  If you’ve killed two people, your accusing, self-righteous, hateful humans have accused you of killing ten.  They will forevermore believe they’re better and stronger than you are.  This is quite to the extreme using killing people in a metaphorical fashion, but I was a hard-working, probably the most honest drug addict you’ve ever come across, or ever will.  Crystal meth made me love life, and gave me even more regard for it, and for people. 

Sometimes I used so I would be able to handle the outlook, or pessimism of certain individuals.  The first thing I desperately needed was to oust these personalities out of my life.  Just because I was an addict did not to any extent signify I was not capable of utilizing the recesses of my mind to the fullest.  In fact, when I felt incapable of understanding emotions, more often than not, I’d analyze these feelings and come to the realization that when under the influence, I could come to conclusions much more rapidly than before.

Not just rhetoric thinking, but like I said before, Come to conclusions, meaning I reached a satisfying answer, whereas at times before, not even be able to face the unnerving question.  I was more clear-headed, able to reason and communicate than ever before.  You might possibly be thinking:  Well, you were under the influence.  Do you really think your mental capacities were greater?  To answer that question, just in case it has arisen, yes, I really do function quite properly, and, yes, this is not solely my own opinion.  I have been told that it appears I function very properly under the influence!  To throw a little humor in, my eyes are quite dilated, but I’m very functional. 

Now, there is a unique happening when a person does crystal meth.  At times, the user will appear agitated at everyone and everything.  But quite possibly it is because everyone and everything is in no uncertain terms condescending towards this person.  In my own personal point of view, I accredit this manifestation of unagreeable events to an influx of an unseen spirit world, or possibly the intake of an element to increase the voltage output of our brains, or our overall central nervous system, or both of them combined, with a result similar to two magnets pushing each other away. 

Let’s ponder upon the possibility of the spirit world.  I’ve never been an overly-religious person, but I do somewhat have a knowledge of the Bible, and its very basics.  Now, what better way for a wicked angel to play games?  The electromagnetic field of crystal meth has just invited some uninvited guests into you, and around you.  Everybody has an electromagnetic field surrounding their body.  Some are a little more prevalent than others.  I’m sure you have personally seen that when a certain individual enters a room, the electricity, or static, surrounding them at times, or some all the time, will affect a stereo or television.  Your body can be used for an antenna, because the field surrounding you is full of energy.

I’ve heard it referred to as your life-force.  In elementary terms, your aura.  I’ve believed for a long period of time in the power of the supernatural.  I’ve never really tried to capture the essence or experiences down on paper, but a diary so to speak, regarding these experiences, technically has been long overdue, in my opinion.  Possibly the captivation of my personal happenings will cause you to remember experiences you’ve had, possibly quite untasteful experiences. 

And the recesses of your mind, being as powerful as they are, will recall the time, a time when you swore, even on your life, swore to the Heavens and by God, or to anything that held value to you, possibly a loved one, and you really meant it, that your drug use would diminish, if not disappear entirely.  But the lure of that crystal meth would consume your very soul, consume your determination, your will, resulting in you having no control over your decision-making, your choices, or self-control. 

Let’s just compare it to having a heart-to-heart between two people that are interested in the same hobby, if you will.  My personal experiences with the drug just might possibly cause you to back away from the drug.  But on the other hand, you might still feel the urge to feel this first-handedly.  You are using too far to the extreme,  believe me, when you’ve achieved this level, the level where the invisible realm manifests itself, when they blatantly cry out  I’m here, yes.  Now what’s the next step?"  Your intake is up way too much.

When they say that meth is connected to what’s called The Shadow People, it actually is true.  I think that spirits can move so quickly, so rapidly, when your neurotransmitters are sped up to breakneck speed, you can almost catch a glimpse of them, or view them in your peripheral vision.  You have to remember, these advanced creatures have been around a lot longer than us earthly subjects. 

They, if they want to, will permit you to see them.  How many thousands of accounts have been documented on sightings?  The list goes on and on.  And even though there are millions of humans that don’t believe they exist, everybody is entitled to their own opinion.  I am not writing this to convince people of invisible creatures.  The non-believers can simply skip this section of the book, or they can just read on and convince themselves that there must be a logical explanation.

Believe you me, I’ve already convinced myself that those individuals are closed-minded, so simply why extend my views further than needed, to just hit a metaphorical brick wall?  In my opinion, it’s much easier to go to the left, or right, than continue in a straightforward fashion through an unlocked passage and trying to conquer this blockage by jumping over.  For usually, if this is the case, headway more than likely will be impeded immediately afterward by another, if not higher, cinder block hindrance.

I’m also entitled to my point of view regardless of the thinkings and actions of simple-minded folks.  Simply put, the world is large enough for our contrasting opinions, no matter how different.  I cannot get to the actual point, or technically be conclusive on exactly what I’m making an effort to say, without perfect honesty between author and reader, or as in psychotherapist and patient.  The only real difference here is that the entire world can look inside and critique my personality, or point of view. 

As for my point of view upon the, what I referred to as The Shadow People earlier, the slang term utilized for the seemingly real beings that exist when a person is under the influence of crystal meth, I use the term seemingly real, for times when truthfully they, more often than not, actually are just a figment of the paranoia accompanied by heavy meth usage. 

But what about the times more than likely they aren’t?  A high percentage of these mystical Shadow People, logically, are a creation of a powerful imagination.  Look, in comparison with UFO sightings, alleged abductions and the like.  Does Area 51 hold the key, or something quite similar to extraterrestrial life?  It would sure appear so.

I do have to admit, though, my aim is not to prove that aliens roam around freely as humans, or that UFO’s even do exist.  But there undoubtedly is corroborative evidence of the like.  I guess I’m trying to create a parable to try to understand what seemingly is very difficult to understand and that would fall into the existence of demons, angels, or whatever terminology you care to use. 

As I’ve mentioned before, every human being has an electromagnetic field surrounding their body that is called positive ions or negative ions.  You can ingest crystal meth, and it changes the ions around your being, the very chemistry surrounding you.  I strongly believe that you can be in the presence of a person you strongly love, or have affection for and your body’s chemistry or power field is altered due to the amperage.  It’s almost as if you’ve ingested a substance that fluctuates, or completely alters your drawing capacity, your ability to draw other people closer, or nearer to you.

It possibly changes the pheromones, better known as the sex hormone, which is what a human being needs to draw, or attract the opposite sex.  In simpler terms, your attraction power.  But what I’m referring to is not necessarily to attract members of the opposite sex, but actually the coinciding of your magnetism, so to speak, as in a magnetic personality, the turning off of your repulsive qualities.  It won’t necessarily manifest itself immediately, but quite possibly relate to the potency of the drug, your mind-set at the time, your metabolizing ability after you’ve taken it, how much you’ve taken, and your tolerance.  You’ll sometimes find that a person might realize you’ve taken the drug, which could very possibly be the case.

But in a case where a person has absolutely no idea of what you’ve done, say, that this person is pessimistic in the first place, the ions surrounding his body would most definitely be a negative quality.  On the other hand, if you’re an optimist, and your entire outlook is the glass is half full temperament, in theory, a negative ion will most definitely chip away and deaden a positive ion because it works on what’s called your alkaline level the same way a battery is drained from a deadened cell.

This so-called negative influence will absolutely drain your energy resources, for I believe that he that has a self-defeatist outlook thrives upon the misery loves company theory.  I use the word theory, but I much more inherently feel in my heart it’s much more profound than that.  Just watch the facial expressions of a person speaking negatively about a certain subject.  They’re attempting to bring the outlook of the optimist, or happier person, to their level so the pessimistic person can get sympathy from the optimistic person.  They thrive on,  Oh, woe is me.

And regarding the facial expression part, if you  keep an eye on the individual with the positive ions, nine out of ten of their facial expressions is a smile. Subtly or not, the pessimist believes they’re draining, ever so slowly, the happier outlook of this other person, and therefore creating this misery loves company theory, or occurrence. 

In psychics, you have a negative ion, a positive ion.  The outcome of that is always, not sometimes, but always a negative reaction.  Possibly you are at the negative ion level, which is why you feel the urge to use in the first place.  But the use changes your chemistry, and all of a sudden, you notice that your opinions vary greatly.  No  matter how hard you try, you’ll realize your efforts are in vain, and this will occur even without the person exhibiting the negatively charged ions having any knowledge of the partaking of any drug whatsoever.

If you proceed with your conversation, as the crystals enter your brain, your bloodstream, and your body as a whole changes chemically.  It takes the neurons, which are the brain’s cells, to levels it could never achieve on its own without an outside influence, therefore taking on the appearance, or displaying actions of positive ions.  Think about this.  If there’s one that is unmistakably negative, if your characteristics are negative, or better said, cognitive thinking is leaning toward negative, the outcome will be negative.  Also, displaying positive ions, encircling you with his negative influence - again, the outcome?  Negative. 

A positive cell in a battery will be drained of its power if there is only one dead cell.  It’s the story of the one bad apple in a basket of good apples, but in totally different terminology.  As in the bad apple spreading the bacterium to dispose of the whole basket, so is the negative exhibitions of this person.  His so-call alkalines are to the utmost, out of symmetrical fashion, or the calibration is misaligned. 

The saying that meth makes a human being be somewhat, if not totally reclusive, is true.  In most cases, I believe the person longs to just be left alone.  The part where the user is allegedly violent, and impossible to deal with might possibly stem from their utterances and negative remarks.  Possibly it’s true from the very beginning that nature itself does not intend for two opposite individuals to have a normal, healthy relationship, and to stack the amplifying of the neurons in the positive subject makes the tolerance of the positive one less, because they’ve just ingested a product that I believe boosts your epinephrine, better known as adrenaline, and your leva-dopa, called L-dopa, which is known widely in medicine, even the psychotherapy field, as a mood enhancer. 

In the utterances, or sayings, of this negatively-charged person, permission is granted to the invading spirit realm to occupy, or surround this individual.  It sounds quite contradictory for me to utilize the term negatively-charged, for you can’t create power, or a force, from something negative.  Surprisingly enough, even though it is negative, it’s definitely void of non-living qualities, but the charge is there, no matter how small, like operating a car with a dead battery, which is made possible by running on the alternator.

The alternator will be drained in a very quick fashion without a charged battery.  You will never be able to get the same charge out of that same battery, but if you replace the battery with a new one, your alternator will be fine.  So in the metaphorical fashion, your vehicle will not even function correctly on a negative/positive mode.  Therefore, your life should proceed in the same fashion by removing all negatively-charged persons from your life.  You can liken the temple of your body to the automobile.  If any of the electrical system is failing, the ability to operate is affected in a very big way, if not totally. 

To change the subject somewhat, the Bible mentions the life force, and the presence of invisible beings.  I’ve also heard mentioned of Jehovah being a shield.  With negativity, there was space allowed for ungodly angels to find what I’ll refer to as a playhouse.  These demons thrive upon the negative force, which is very weak.  A person’s so-called shield cannot destroy, or fight off the ward of these invaders, and this individual might very possibly be weak physically, too.

If that is the case, the demon invasion will be great, even to the extent of possibly the drawing power, or magnet force, of your crystal meth taking place in your body being a double-jeopardy happening.  As in mosquitoes attracted to the carbon dioxide in one’s breath, be prepared for a war with demonic influence, with their ability to thrive in this type of environment, and their attraction, because of some unknown gravitational pull relating to the crystal meth.

Even in the positive one, they do wait to be employed, if needed, gnashing their teeth, hoping this positive shield will be let down upon the decline of the enzymatic design of the brain, or in simpler terms, come down, so they can relentlessly camp out, so to speak.  They don’t have to fight quite so hard to disturb this negative individual, but the friction is horrendous between the two. 

In my opinion, ingesting crystal meth in, let’s use a hypothetical situation, say in the bathroom of an elderly person that is only somewhat religious, and I’ll go out on a limb for this one, and suffers from Alzheimer’s.  The demon was invited in from the drawing power, the conjuration of the meth.  You exit the restroom, you realize immediately that the individual’s different, he’s had a visitor, and you know what I mean by that. 

They’re more than likely, for no apparent reason, ready for an argument, depending upon the deployment of how many wicked spirits, and depending upon the irritability between the two, possibly traveling, searching for the negative ions which to them is probably equal to an enormous breath of fresh air, or a tall glass of lemonade on a summer day, discover this weaker subject, and decide to change their demeanor.

If you have seen this occur more than once in a certain individual, it’s probably due to the fact that they’re following this pull that is inviting to them.  Realize your shield, or your positive ions are too many in strength to penetrate, but there’s another person, too, and not only is their surrounding life force penetrable, their mental capacities are weakened also, due to, say, Alzheimer’s, or the like.  This person might quite possibly be an individual you care very deeply for. 

The wise decision would be to discontinue the conjuring effects of crystal meth forever, for this relationship is far too precious than any drug use.  What I’m trying to say is, yes, the use of the drug is an invitation for the spirit realm, but with the other person’s disposition being weakened in every aspect, I believe the spirits are powerful enough to penetrate the very thoughts of this weakened person.  You, as before,  might very well be thinking:  This is just psycho-babble, just astonishingly absurd! 

Well, folks, you can ask nearly 100% of crystal meth users, and they will tell you the same sad story - that their use, even if very practically and expertly incognito, and other human beings knew nothing of their addiction - what I’m attempting to say is, there’s more than meets the eye to the effects of crystal meth chewing away at a relationship.  I’ve experienced this in vast amounts first-handedly.  It’s happened amongst my friends. 

To sum it up in a nutshell, the main question undoubtedly was, What the hell happened between us and them?  And the odd thing is, neither party knows.  It was as if some unseen influence had guided the two, or whatever the number may be, to create, unknowingly, unspeakable friction between them.  This is where my calculations of the