Project "Me": 8 Strategies to Help You Figure Out What You Want & Live the Life You Were Uniquely Born to Live

By EK Grant

FOREWORD

Do you ever feel like the life you’re living is not the one you want? Do you feel that there must be more but you don’t know what or how to figure out what the “more” is?

Are you often frustrated and find yourself wishing that you were doing something different?

Do you ever wish you could hit the reset button on your life so that you can get it right and live exactly the way you want – the way you felt you were born to live?

If so, I hear ya. I feel your pain and guess what? You’re not alone.

I was a business owner living in a fabulous city running my own business. I had what many thought of as the American Dream.

But what was really happening is that I was being pushed deeper into a life I no longer wanted. I didn’t know exactly how to break free of it and even scarier -- I didn’t know exactly what I did want!

The Tragedy That Shook Me Awake

Then 9/11 happened … and it changed me forever.

A decade and a half after that tragedy, I have the life I want. It took a few years, but I eventually closed up my company. I now write full-time for a living.

I do some travelling – even living part time in the Caribbean (I’m American). Some months I earn a lot; other months, barely anything. But, I’ve never been more content. I know what my purpose is and am now living the life I was uniquely born to live.

It’s a humbling, gracious way to live; one that makes everything much simpler – decisions, emotions, habits – everything.

The Simple Truth That Changed Everything

A lot happened in the 15 years it took for me to get to where I am today, but when I reflect on what really changed it all, one simple truth stood out ... and it changed everything. 

It made me "earthquake proof." 

What is this?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shortcuts Media
• Release date: Jun 17, 2016
• ISBN: 9781533787644

Book preview

FOREWORD

Do you ever feel like the life you’re living is not the one you want? Do you feel that there must be more but you don’t know what or how to figure out what the more is?

Are you often frustrated and find yourself wishing that you were doing something different?

Do you ever wish you could hit the reset button on your life so that you can get it right and live exactly the way you want – the way you felt you were born to live?

If so, I hear ya. I feel your pain and guess what? You’re not alone.

I was a business owner living in a fabulous city running my own business. I had what many thought of as the American Dream. But what was really happening is that I was being pushed deeper into a life I no longer wanted.

The Tragedy That Shook Me Awake

Then 9/11 happened ... and it changed me forever.

A decade and a half after that tragedy, I have the life I want. It took a few years, but I eventually closed up my company. I now write full-time for a living.

I do some travelling – even living part time in the Caribbean (I’m American). Some months I earn a lot; other months, barely anything. But, I’ve never been more content. I know what my purpose is and am now living the life I was uniquely born to live.

It’s a humbling, gracious way to live; one that makes everything much simpler – decisions, emotions, habits – everything.

The Simple Truth That Changed Everything

A lot happened in the 15 years it took for me to get to where I am today, but when I reflect on what really changed it all, a simple truth stood out—I fell in love with myself. I’m talking wholly, completely, unequivocally in love with who I was created to be.

This may seem like it has nothing to do with creating the life you want, and it may even sound a little self-absorbed, but trust me when I say, I’ve discovered that it’s the most unselfish thing you can do.

If you don’t fall in love with yourself (not love yourself, but fall in love with yourself), you’ll forever struggle to figure out exactly what it is you want out of life.

Falling in love with myself was the string of existing that I needed to yank on to unravel why I’d spent over 20 years creating an life I was unhappy with. It allowed me to start the rebuilding process the right way, and create a life that makes me supremely content day in and day out. 

That contentment and love (and all the positives that stem from that) is carried over into my relationships with others – which is the biggest benefit. I’m able to form deeper bonds with those relationships I do cultivate, and to more easily walk away from those that may be harmful or toxic.

Falling in love with myself made making decisions easier. It made taking criticism easier. It made getting rid of people who didn’t support who I was easier. It made me more compassionate. It made me a better listener. It made me more patient. It made me more focused. It made me a better friend, a better lover, a better ... human.

It made me earthquake proof.

Are You Earthquake Proof?

What I discovered is that when you love yourself, there’s a solid foundation under you that supports your every decision, your every belief, your every desire. Having a solid foundation of self-love is like constructing a house to withstand an earthquake. 

While no structure can be entirely immune to damage from earthquakes, the goal of earthquake-resistant construction is to erect structures that fare better during seismic activity than their conventional counterparts.¹

Or, to translate ...

While no human being will ever be entirely immune from the trials and tribulations of life, falling in love with yourself gives you a solid foundation to help you weather the storms of life when shit happens.

Because trust, shit will always happen. How you handle it is where your mettle is tested. And let me tell ya, if you have a solid foundation of self-love under you, you will survive the storms of life with way fewer bruises than if you don’t.

The Beginning of Project Me

One day while doing some surfing online, I ran across the now infamous letter written by the survivor of the Stanford rape.²

After reading her letter, two thoughts popped into my head.

Wow, how brave.

AND ...

What an awesome example of self-love.

Not only was this survivor brave enough to share all of the gruesome details of her attack with the world, she turned the tables on her perpetrator. She forced him to see how what he’d done to her affected her life.

Many survivors (I prefer that word to victim) of rape or sexual assault (as the Stanford assailant was technically convicted of) internalize a lot of much blame, somehow making it their fault, asking themselves over and over what could they have done differently.

Their brains may consciously know that the attack wasn’t their fault, but it’s hard for them to absorb that message; to fully recognize that they didn’t do anything to bring this on themselves.

This survivor fought that perception from the beginning. Even though she didn’t remember what had happened to her, she refused to be blamed, writing:

I was not only told that I was assaulted, I was told that because I couldn’t remember, I technically could not prove it was unwanted. And that distorted me, damaged me, almost broke me. It is the saddest type of confusion to be told I was assaulted and nearly raped, blatantly out in the open, but we don’t know if it counts as