Our Life Well-Lived: A Memoir

By Thomas Crochetiere

This is the true life story of Thomas Crochetiere and his wife Vicki as their life together spanned 27 wonderful years. They shared several memories by going on many adventures and having a lot of unique and fun times.

Thomas and Vicki lived life to its fullest while traveling the roads of the United States and most of Canada. Together, they visited all 50-states and most of the Canadian provinces and brought back many exciting and humorous stories.

Thomas and Vicki enjoyed sharing their life with friends and family as well as spending time alone. Their journey was like no other. It was a life well-lived and full of love. This is their story, a love story.

• Language: English
• Publisher: eBookIt.com
• Release date: Apr 26, 2016
• ISBN: 9781456606992

Book preview

Our Life Well-Lived

An Introduction to Us

This book contains the memoirs of Thomas Crochetiere and the amazing journey and adventures he took with his wife Vicki. Their lives spanned 27 wonderful years together. They have one son (Jason), two grandchildren (Delilah and Zane) and three step-grandchildren (Timmy, Aloni and Lincoln). This is their story, a story of love.

Vicki and Tom in one of their last photos together

Vicki’s and my life was not a typical story of a married couple as we shared a unique life together. Although we were very close and did nearly everything together, we did have separate and completely different interests from each other. My personality is comparable to a Type A and Vicki’s comparable to a Type B. Knowing that opposites usually attract to each other, I liked to say that together, Vicki and I had a Type AB+ personality. The A for me, the B for Vicki and the + for our positive outlook on life.

From the beginning of our marriage, we had the hobby of collecting states. We did not start out with this goal in mind but we eventually realized it as we collected more and more states through our travels. Together, we drove to 49 of the 50 states and visited Hawaii both by plane and by cruise ship. We enjoyed the outdoors and visited several of our National Parks and Monuments. We loved to camp, starting off in tents, moving up to a cab-over camper and then to a motorhome.

We owned ATV’s (all-terrain vehicles) and loved to explore the desert where we lived and the nearby forest. We took our ATV’s to the beach and to the sand dunes. We often went to off-road events, sometimes traveling long distances to participate. We owned a pleasure boat, explored rivers, vast lakes, and even took it out into the Pacific Ocean once.

We enjoyed camping and traveling with friends and family. We camped with various groups and always enjoyed ourselves. We enjoyed taking our motorhome out often and usually dry camped. We rarely went to existing campgrounds and loved to find a remote location out in the desert or up in the forest. Our motorhome was fully self-contained and we did not need hook-ups to survive. On average, we went camping 14-weekends each year and 21-times during our last year together. We were very active and usually had something to do.

During our many travels, we had some extraordinary experiences. Our adventures were far from boring and we often left with stories to share. We were fortunate to have taken so many photos of our trips to help us remember these wonderful times together.

As we were beginning the second phase of our life together, we started to take more cruises and stayed in more hotels in addition to our camping. However, this stopped short as our journey together came to an abrupt end. At the early age of 45, I lost my Miss Vicki to breast cancer.

Although Vicki’s life ended, she made sure I knew I still had a long life yet to live. It was important to her that I was happy. She encouraged me to continue living my life and she encouraged me to find someone special to share my life with.

Vicki was an amazing woman and I was fortunate to have shared so many wonderful memories with her. She had a unique way of looking at each of life’s experiences and she always found ways to enjoy everything she did.

The sharing of our history gives you an in-depth look of all we have done together. It also reminds you that Life is a journey full of great adventures. You can guide your journey in any path you so choose. It only takes a little imagination and luck to take you where you want to go. Just be yourself.

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Our journey together began when I first met Vicki on December 31, 1983. It was at a New Year’s Eve Party given by Ben, a mutual friend, where I first laid eyes on her. I was immediately attracted to Vicki and spent the entire evening talking to her. I quickly realized I loved this young woman and knew I would someday marry her. Prior to this, I had never believed in love at first sight, until it happened to me.

Vicki did not attempt to hide the fact that she was separated and had a young son named Jason. She told me she had been guilted into getting married at a young age because of her pregnancy and said she never would have married if it were not for all the pressure put upon her.

I was mesmerized by every word Vicki spoke that evening. I have often heard that time flies when you are having fun but during this night, I had one of the best times of my life and yet, it did not fly as time seemed irrelevant.

Vicki had been drinking a mixed drink and I had been drinking a mixed drink of my own but it was not what it appeared. Vicki caught me putting 7-Up in a glass with a little Coke. I told her it was my fake Seven and Seven. She was very curious about this and asked why.

I told Vicki that during my high school years, I attended several parties where everyone drank, everyone but me. I learned early on if you wanted to be part of the group, you had to drink like the group.

To keep people off of my back, I told them I was drinking Seven and Seven and when they looked at my drink, it did resemble a Seven and Seven. I always felt I had more fun watching people get silly without getting silly myself.

My sister Tina and my cousin Cindy accompanied me to the party. Tina was not feeling well and requested I take her back to our grandparent’s (Jermaine and Gertrude Todd) house where we were staying. Vicki came along for the ride and asked that I stop by her new apartment to check on her dog before we returned to the party. I gave Tina a bag to hold onto just in case she got sick.

On our way to our grandparent’s house, Tina did get sick but kept it contained inside the bag. As she was getting out of my newer car, she said, Aren’t you proud of me Tom, I did not get sick on your Camaro. Just as she got out, she dropped her bag, which spilled on the passenger door and part of the dash of my Camaro! Tina felt terrible but was in no condition to help clean up. Vicki was gracious enough to help with this detail as I got Tina into the house.

As the party ended, everyone went on their way. I said my goodbyes to Vicki and told her I hoped to see her again very soon. On the way back to my grandparent’s house, I could not stop thinking about Vicki.

After I returned to my grandparent’s house, I had trouble sleeping. I remember just lying in bed thinking about this amazing woman I had met. I also remembered that prior to leaving for the party I told my mother (Barbara) I would be meeting the woman of my dreams that night. I was just joking when I told her this but now I wondered if it was a premonition I would be meeting Vicki.

Vicki and Jason right before we met

Chapter one

1984, Our First Year Together

On January 1st, I returned to Vicki’s apartment and asked her out on a date. She accepted and we went on our first date together the next day. I remember driving her down restaurant row looking for one of the finer places to eat. When I gave her the choice of any restaurant she wanted, she told me she just wanted a hamburger and chose Carrow’s. I was hoping for something a little more romantic than Carrow’s but if that is what Vicki wanted, that is what she will have.

We were at the restaurant for a few hours, just talking. I planned to take Vicki to the movies but time just got away from us. When I dropped her off after our date, I asked her when we could go out again. Vicki asked me what I was doing the next day. I told her tomorrow it was and on January 3rd, we went out on our second date.

Vicki and I again went out and had a wonderful time. I was sad because my time off from work came to an end and I had to be back to work the next day. I told Vicki I would not be able to return for a few weeks but wanted to know if we could continue dating. Vicki told me she liked that idea and we made another date for when I returned.

For our third date on January 25th, I took Vicki for a tram ride high on the mountain above Palm Springs, CA. While there, we took a mule ride and went on a long walk. It was then that I decided to confess my love for Vicki.

I began by saying, How do I tell a married woman I think I am in love with her. Vicki looked at me and quietly said, You think. I then rephrased by saying, I know. She then quickly said, You just tell her! at which time I said to Vicki, I love you for the first time.

Our first photo together as a couple

Vicki told me immediately after she got married; she became a frequent victim of abuse by her new husband during his drug-induced tirades. She told me that she was eight months pregnant when she married and after Jason was just two months old, she left the brutality and never looked back. She shared with me that the only reason she was still married, was because she could not afford to file for the divorce.

Although she had been separated for over a year and planning to get a divorce, she was married nonetheless. Before meeting Vicki, I could never have imagined myself telling a married woman I was in love with her; let alone date her. However, with Vicki everything was different. I knew the night I met her I would someday marry her and I wanted her to know I was serious, as I did not want her to get away.

Vicki later told me she did not know how serious I was about her until the day I confessed my love for her. She told me it was at that moment she realized she loved me too. She confessed that being separated might complicate matters and she tried to find ways to pay for the divorce to clear the way for our future together.

It had been suggested to Vicki and I that Ben was a sort of match maker for us. As romantic as this may sound, it is not entirely true. Although we did meet at his party, Ben had originally intended for Vicki to meet one of his other friends, as he thought they would make a good couple.

During the New Year’s Eve Party, Ben told me I needed to back away from Vicki because she was supposed to be getting to know his other friend. I told him Not, gave him a new drink and sent him on his way. I knew Vicki was the one and I was not about to step aside for any other!

Vicki was just 18 and I was 22 when we met. I turned 23 a month later and Vicki would turn 19 the following month. We had been dating for about a month and a half when her mother asked me why an older guy (me) was interested in her daughter. She asked me if I realized Vicki had a child. I remember telling her I did not consider myself an older guy and I loved her daughter.

I assured Vicki’s mother that my intentions were honorable and I was fully aware Jason was part of the package. She said no more about it but I began to question myself, was a four-year difference in age too much? I did not think long and decided that this age difference was not an issue. All I needed to know was that I was in love with Vicki.

Tom and Vicki in one of our first photos together

In early March while Vicki and I were shopping, I was carrying Jason around the store. Then all of the sudden, out of the mouth of a 15-month old, Jason said to me, Are you my daddy? I cannot tell you how proud this made me feel as I looked at the surprised expression on Vicki’s face and seeing the serious look on Jason’s face. I then simply told him, I someday hope to be. I later told Vicki she did not need to have Jason ask me that as she already had me the night we met. She laughed and said she had no idea where his question came from but liked the idea I someday may be his daddy.

It was a few weeks later when Vicki confessed she could not afford the divorce at that time. I made a deal with her and said I would pay for this divorce as long as she would pay for her next one. Knowing this would clear the way for our probable marriage, we both laughed and she then agreed.

During the summer, Vicki and I along with several other people went up in the nearby forest to explore old, abandoned mines. Some of the mines had a rather small entry where Vicki and I did not feel comfortable going inside. There were others where we were able to walk in to explore.

I remember being several hundred feet inside one abandoned mine when we heard the sound of a shotgun shell being chambered. I had heard that sound before and knew exactly what it was. We then heard a man’s voice telling us this mine was still active and we needed to leave immediately. A few of us had guns but they were loaded with snake shot to protect ourselves from rattlesnakes and the like, not from other people with guns! We did just as he asked and quickly exited the mine.

Vicki’s brother Kevin stayed with her and Jason during the summer and shared this memory of that visit. One of my many memories is shortly after Vicki moved to Morongo Valley, I spent a week with her and she took me fishing at the Whitewater Fish Hatchery. We then drove down off of Highway 111 to play in the water where I soon learned that water moved faster than me! What a great day!!! Kevin.

After dating now for several months, I learned Vicki was the most finicky eater I had ever met. She liked her meat cooked well done; I mean if she saw any pink in the meat, she would send it back!

I also learned if I wanted to make her happy, I would only take her to where she could order a burger or Mexican food. I could only imagine by this point what her mother had to deal with trying for cook to Vicki’s limited tastes.

Vicki introduced me to camping when we went to visit Yosemite National Park for our first trip together. We bought a tent and sleeping bags and borrowed everything else from her parents (Les and Barbara Wilford). I found that I really loved to camp and explore the great outdoors. Having only been to one National Park before (Joshua Tree National Park, close to where I lived in the desert), I quickly discovered my love for the National Park service.

While camping, Jason cut his fingertip and we bandaged it up. Several ducks stopped by to pay us a visit while looking for handouts. Vicki and I started to give them pieces of bread and Jason asked if he could feed them too. We handed him a slice of bread and he began to tear apart pieces to toss to the ducks.

When he ran out of bread, the ducks noticed the bandage on his finger and thought he was holding back a final piece of bread. One of the ducks decided to help himself, clamped onto Jason’s finger, and would not let go. Thankfully, Jason survived the attack and the duck was sent on his way.

For the most part, the trip went well. Jason had a good time, as did Vicki and I. It was on the long drive home when Jason decided he was not having fun any longer and cried the rest of the drive home. This really got on my nerves and I was glad to drop Vicki and Jason off at her parent’s house and leave.

Vicki gave me a