Selected English Jokes (ESL/EFL Version with Audio)

By Qiliang Feng and Various Sources

This is Book 11, Collection III, of the Million-Word Reading Project (MWRP) readers. It is suitable for learners with a basic vocabulary of 1,500 words.
Million-Word Reading Project (MWRP) is a reading project for ESL/EFL learners at the elementary level (with a basic vocabulary of 1,500 words). In two years, for about fifteen minutes each day, an ESL/EFL learner can read one million words, and reach the upper-intermediate level, gaining a vocabulary of about 3,500 words and a large number of expressions.

[Text Information]
Readability | 79.59
Total word count | 15162
Words beyond 1500 | 1145
Unknown word percentage (%) | 7.55
Unknown headword occurrence | 1.78
Unknown words that occur 5 times or more | 24
Unknown words that occur 2 times or more | 241

[Synopsis]
Apart from being fun, reading jokes is a good way for ESL/EFL learners to improve their understanding of English. Some jokes show different ways in which words are used, and such jokes make it easier for learners to remember the language points.
Here is an example:
“Is she making him a good wife?”
“Well, not exactly; but she’s making him a good husband.”
In this joke, the word “make” is used in two different patterns. In the first one, “make him a good wife” means “become a good wife for him”, while in the second, “make him a good husband” means “train him so that he will become a good husband.”
A good teacher always knows when to use a joke in his classroom. He may say, “That reminds of a joke/story” during his lesson and then a story follows. This will arouse the students’ interest in his class and students never fail to like such a teacher.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Qiliang Feng
• Release date: Dec 26, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310829130

Qiliang Feng

Qiliang Feng has been a teacher of English in senior high schools since 1983. He is a keen supporter of reading in TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) and is expert at rewriting graded/simplified ESL(English as a Second Language) and EFL (English as a Foreign Language) readers. He has published several series of English reading course books and is promoting a reading project called Million-Word Reading Project (MWRP), in which ESL/EFL learners at the elementary level (with a basic vocabulary of 1,500 words) are expected to read one million words within two or three years, and reach the upper-intermediate level easily.

Book preview

About This Book

This is Book 11, Collection III, of the Million-Word Reading Project (MWRP) readers. It is suitable for learners with a basic vocabulary of 1,500 words.

Million-Word Reading Project (MWRP) is a reading project for ESL/EFL learners at the elementary level (with a basic vocabulary of 1,500 words). In two years, for about fifteen minutes each day, an ESL/EFL learner can read one million words, and reach the upper-intermediate level, gaining a vocabulary of about 3,500 words and a large number of expressions.

Text Information

Readability | 79.6

Total word count | 15162

Words beyond 1500 | 1145

Unknown word percentage (%) | 7.55

Unknown headword occurrence | 1.78

Unknown words that occur 5 times or more | 24

Unknown words that occur 2 times or more | 241

Notes:

1. About readability: This is Flesch Reading Ease Readability calculated with MS WORD. The higher the score, the easier the text is to read.

Score | Level

0-29 | Very difficult

30-49 | Difficult

50-59 | Fairly difficult

60-69 | Standard

70-79 | Fairly easy

80-89 | Easy

90-100 | Very easy

2. This e-version does not give the meanings of unknown words. You can look them up with the dictionary on your e-reader. For words with different meanings and some expressions, we give their meanings at the end of the passages. We also provide some necessary background information.

3. To get the audio or video of this book, GO>>>

Synopsis

Apart from being fun, reading jokes is a good way for ESL/EFL learners to improve their understanding of English. Some jokes show different ways in which words are used, and such jokes make it easier for learners to remember the language points.

Here is an example:

Is she making him a good wife?

Well, not exactly; but she’s making him a good husband.

In this joke, the word make is used in two different patterns. In the first one, make him a good wife means become a good wife for him, while in the second, make him a good husband means train him so that he will become a good husband.

A good teacher always knows when to use a joke in his classroom. He may say, That reminds of a joke/story during his lesson and then a story follows. This will arouse the students’ interest in his class and students never fail to like such a teacher.

1. A Bad Night

A boy who had made good in town asked his old mother to come to London. He gave the old lady the best room in the hotel - one with a private bath. The next morning the boy asked:

Did you have a good night’s rest?

Well, no, I didn’t, she replied. The room was all right, and the bed was pretty. But I couldn’t sleep very much, for I was afraid someone would want to take a bath, and the only way to it was through my room!

2. A Dog’s Life

"Your husband says he leads a dog’s life[1]," said one woman.

Yes, it’s very similar, answered the other. He comes in with muddy feet, makes himself comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed.

3. A Fuss

Bricklayer (to a mate, who had just had a brick fall on his feet) - Dropped it on your toe! That’s nothing. Why, I have seen a fellow get killed, and he never made such a fuss as you’re doing.

4. A Future Financier

Ma, shouted young Teddie, bursting into the house, Mrs. Johnson said she would give me a penny if I told her what you said about her!

I never heard of such a thing! answered his mother angrily. You’re a very good boy not to have told! I wouldn’t have her think I even mentioned her. Here’s an apple, sonny, for being such a wise little lad!

I should think I am, ma! When she showed me the penny I told her that what you said was something awful, and worth sixpence at least!

5. A Good Cook

Gerald, said the young wife, noticing how heartily he was eating, do I cook as well as your mother did?

Gerald put on his glasses, and stared at her through them.

Certainly, Agatha, he said. I beg you will remember that although I may not seem as rich as before now, I come of an old and distinguished family. My mother was not a cook.

6. A Good Day

A man took all his broken umbrellas to the repairer’s. Next morning on his way to his office, when he got up to leave the bus, he absentmindedly took up the umbrella belonging to a woman beside him, for he was in the habit of carrying one. The woman cried Stop thief! rescued her umbrella and covered the man with shame and confusion.

That same day, he stopped at the repairer’s, and received all eight of his umbrellas which had been repaired. As he entered a bus, with the umbrellas under his arm, he was horrified to see the same lady glaring at him.

"Huh! Had a