Life of a Fool

By CM Hutton

Jason

I was a fool...
- for letting Lori Ann convince me that we were wrong for each other.
- for watching her walk away from me fifteen years ago and not stopping her.
- for not realizing she was in trouble.
- for thinking her nightmare, our nightmare was over.
I was a fool for letting my guard down.
And now, I’d do just about anything to keep her safe, including the most reckless, foolish thing a man — a cop, in fact — could do.
___________________________________
Lori Ann

Jason saved me, only to nearly lose me forever.
We’d been fools to think Antonio wouldn't come after me. I was still his wife, after all. He’d hurt me, broken my arm and left me in pieces, but he wasn’t finished. He’d fooled me for years, made me believe he was a great man. Now that I knew the truth, I was going to fight like hell to save myself and Jason, to save the love we’d finally confessed.

I prayed that what I was about to do would be enough.

I was done being someone’s fool.

• Language: English
• Publisher: CM Hutton
• Release date: Nov 4, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311215727

CM Hutton

I’m a wife, a mom of three, a friend, an aunt, a sister, a daughter and teacher. Now, I can add writer to my list! I’ve always wanted to write and finally found inspiration and support to do it.I live near Austin, Texas with my family and love to read and travel. Put me on a beach with a good book and the world just disappears around me!I will continue to keep working hard to improve my writing and create characters that you love and cheer for.Thanks for reading!

Book preview

My life had been a nightmare.

My younger brother, the former NFL player turned firefighter, had been severely injured and on death’s door, as a matter of fact. We’d been held hostage at the hospital for weeks. His bride-to-be, Claire, was one of the strongest women I’d ever known…aside from my mom and Lori Ann. Actually, they were probably all about equal in their feminine strength.

Damn…Lori Ann. I needed to return her call.

Thankfully, Derek pulled through, married the love of his life, and they were expecting a baby. I was really happy for him. My little brother had seen more hard times than I cared to mention, and he’d finally found happiness with a woman that was pretty incredible. Claire had been through her own share of shit and had risen above it. I was in awe of the woman and loved her as fiercely as I did one of my blood family members.

Truthfully, seeing Derek find his soul mate, at the age of thirty-five, made me jealous. I was his older brother. And although thirty-seven wasn’t that old, I felt ancient. Perhaps, it was due to the stress of holding us all together these last few weeks while we watched Derek struggle for his life. Maybe it was the ache I felt seeing him so happy.

I’d dated plenty of girls. They were nice, kind…some a little kinky, but not one of them held my heart…held my soul in their hands.

Only one had that privilege, and she was already taken.

Chapter 1

Jason

Why hadn’t I answered her call?

Oh, yeah. My younger brother Kyle had walked into the waiting room with news about Derek’s second life-saving surgery. He was a physician and part of the team of doctors taking care of Derek.

I hadn’t heard from Lori Ann in more than a year. She and I had always been pretty tight. We tried dating in college, but it felt awkward. We discovered that we were much better at being best friends. Admittedly, that best friend thing got under my skin from time to time. I didn’t like most of the guys she dated, although there were a few that were pretty decent.

The last semester of our senior year at San Diego State, things changed—at least for me they did. My feelings for my best friend were growing wildly out of control, and I felt panicked. I was certain it had to do with our impending graduation and new jobs. I knew it would separate us and, I hated it but couldn’t do anything about it. I was leaving for the Army the next month, and Lori Ann had taken a job overseas. The happiness on her face when she found out she’d gotten her dream job as a junior accountant with Ernst & Young, and finding out the job was in Italy…well, I couldn’t do anything but smile and celebrate her success. She deserved it.

My plan? To go into the Army. I owed them two years of service for a scholarship I’d received. Then I was looking at going into police work, maybe make detective. Like my firefighter brother, we desired to serve. It sounded completely overwhelming and like I was some macho do-gooder, but it wasn’t like that. I had goals, I wanted to accomplish things. At one point, in a moment of weakness, I’d thought wherever I went or whatever I did, Lori Ann would be with me. Of course, I never admitted anything to her. I came close, though. That was the day she got her job offer and it all changed.

So, I pressed forward with my plans and left Lori Ann to hers.

We’d kept in touch over the years. I knew everything about my Lori Ann. She was tall, about five feet, nine inches, had long, dark hair, giant blue eyes, and the longest legs I’d ever seen. She’d been a swimmer in college, so those damn legs were killer. She was smart and sarcastic, which was just perfect for me. She loved old movies and red wine. Her favorite band was Bon Jovi, which I constantly gave her shit about, and she was a great dancer. I knew lots more too…like where she was ticklish, what her favorite color was, and where she’d had her first kiss. I was pretty pathetic. But she’d been my best friend for years, and I had no doubt she knew just as much about me as I did about her.

*****

I walked into my house after a long day at work. Lori Ann had been on my mind for a few weeks. I’d ignored the need to return her call while we all waited to make sure my brother Derek was out of the woods and home. And as his healing progressed, I started to feel desperate to call her back, but the rock in the pit of my stomach delayed me from doing it. Her voice, that incredible voice, was full of concern and something else…something different, a sadness I’d never heard before.

Lori Ann and I had kept in close contact over the fifteen years since college, even taken some trips together and spent a few holidays with each of our families. We were really close. But I hadn’t heard a peep out of her for almost a year, and I tried not to push since she was a married woman.

"Hey, Jace. How are you? How is Derek? You know I keep up with you guys, even from Italy. Please tell me he’s okay. Will you call me back? I know it’s been a long time…and I’m sorry. I should have called you. Things are just a little…well, I just should have called. She paused. But I really need to hear your voice…please, Jason. Call me back."

I’d listened to it at least ten times, and every time the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Not only because I missed her, but because something was wrong. I just couldn’t figure it out. So, tonight was the night to put my feelings and pride aside, pick up the damn phone, and call her back.

I dialed her international number. Ringing. Ringing.

Ciao?

I knew her sweet voice immediately. So, want to tell me what’s going on and why you’ve been avoiding me for the last year?

Jason! She gasped and whispered my name.

Hi, Legs.

You know I hate that name, Jason London. I couldn’t help but to laugh. Derek? I should’ve called her before now to say he was okay. I was a bastard.

He’s doing really well. He’s out of the hospital and healing just fine.

Oh, thank God. When you didn’t return my call, I was so afraid. I almost called again, but was terrified something had…

Hey… I interrupted …stop. I should have called you. It’s my fault. I could hear her sobs. Talk to me. Why are you so upset? What’s going on, Lori? You’re a mess and your voicemail sounded…off. Are you okay?

I heard her breath hitch. I’d gotten pretty good at hearing the subtle things over the years. Something was…wrong with her. No. I’m okay. Just relieved that Derek is okay.

You’re lying. Don’t forget how well I know you.

Jace…I’m fine. Just emotional about your brother.

That’s bullshit and you know it. By now, you would’ve seen it on the news or internet that he was okay. So, what gives? Why do you sound so desperate to hear my voice? I know you…

Jace, please stop. I can’t. Not now.

I scrubbed my hand down my face. Why not now? Talk to me.

I need to go. Can I call you tomorrow? I wished she didn’t live so far from me. I needed to lay eyes on her to make sure she was okay.

You know you can. You can always call me, Lori Ann. You’re my… Shit, what was she? …my best friend.

Thank you. Her voice was no more than a whisper. Something was very wrong, and I couldn’t shake the horrible feeling deep in my soul that I needed to get to her. Please, tomorrow.

Okay. But tell me you’re safe.

For now.

What? My mind was going crazy. What the hell is going on? TELL. ME.

I have to go. And with that, Lori Ann hung up.

My mind was a jumbled mess. What the fuck was going on?!?!

It was late, but I didn’t care. I had to call someone. Derek had too much to deal with, and my younger brother Kyle wouldn’t see the urgency in any of it. I swore that dude had a serious screw loose. I guessed not being an emotional person helped him be a great doctor. Who knew?

I waited a bit, then called my longtime friend Craig. He’d gone to college with Lori Ann and me, served time in the Army with me, and was a cop—another detective, but in Denver. He knew all about my relationship and feelings for Lori Ann. He’d seen it all, heard it all, and would definitely understand my concern.

I punched in his number. Ringing. Ringing.

This better be good, dude. I’m out with my woman right now.

I might need your help.

What’s up? He obviously heard the concern in my voice.

Lori Ann.

WHAT? Jace, man…you’ve got to move on past that shit. She’s married.

Hey, just listen! I was pissed. I told you she called while my brother Derek was in the hospital, right?

Yes.

Well, I finally called her back tonight. Something was really off. She had been radio silent for a year before she left me that voicemail. Then, when I heard her voice tonight…I don’t know, man. She sounded scared, and when I pushed, she suddenly told me she couldn’t talk—whispered it even—and said she’d call tomorrow. You know her, Craig. Lori Ann doesn’t get scared. She’s tough and can take care of herself.

Damn. Okay, what do you want me to do?

Not sure. I just needed to voice my concerns to someone who knows her. I mean, I’m pacing my fucking house like a caged animal, dying to fly over there and get her.

"Jason, you can’t. You don’t know what you’d be walking into, and this could be some huge misunderstanding. Maybe she’s having marriage issues and feeling homesick. Maybe she was just busy. Who the hell knows? But flying to Italy and ringing her doorbell is the last thing you need to do right now. You hearing me, friend?"

I let out a loud groan. You know I hate you, right?

Craig laughed. "Yep! But you know who to call when you really need someone to tell you the truth. Look, I know how you feel—have always felt—about Lori Ann, but maybe you need to let this sit for a few more days, call her again, and see if she sounds better. If you’re still getting the ‘red flags,’ call me. I’ll hop on the flight with you. I know you have good instincts, Jason. Just make sure you are really using those and not other parts of your body."

I took a deep breath. He was right. I hear you, but I just know something is wrong. In all the years I’ve known her, she’s never sounded like she did tonight. But I’ll give it until tomorrow. If she hasn’t called me back, I’ll call her. I just pray I’m not too late if she really does need me.

I get it. Think about it like this…if there is something big going down with her and the hubs, what’s gonna happen if you show up? What if he takes it out on her?

Shit. I didn’t really think about that. Surely that prick she married isn’t doing anything. They’ve been married for six years. You don’t think he’d all of a sudden change—do something to hurt her, do you?

Jason, I don’t want to plant things in your head, but we’ve seen it all in our line of work.

"You’re right. I’ll just have to wait and talk to her tomorrow. But if I hear anything in her voice, I’m going."

Do me a favor and call me first? Talk to me before you make the decision.

Sure. I paused. Thanks, Craig.

Always. And Jason? She’s going to be fine—even if we have to go drag her home, okay?

Thanks. I hung up feeling a little better. Craig and I were pretty good at talking each other into or out of situations. We’d know each other a long time and both had pretty good instincts. I felt better having him on board with possibly going to get my girl.

Shit!

Lori Ann wasn’t my girl. I didn’t have a claim to her, right?

Like hell, I didn’t! She would always be my girl, even if all she could ever be was my best friend. It pissed me off to have to wait until morning to talk to her again, but I’d have to get over it.

Chapter 2

Jason

I slept like crap.

Three hours to be exact. That was all my mind allowed me to have. I watched the clock, took two showers, researched flights, and even looked up information on The Italian. I couldn’t find anything other than a few minor traffic violations and stories about his company. I knew the guy was wealthy, since I’d thoroughly looked into his background years ago when Lori Ann told me she was getting married, but damn…now the man was loaded. He’d taken a small cobbler shop his grandfather and father had owned in a little village outside of Milan and turned it into a multi-million dollar shoe company that had gone international. And all in the span of ten years. It was a real rags to riches story and had me wondering if the success had gone to his head…changed him somehow.

By 5:00 am, I’d had enough. I knew there was a nine-hour time difference, so I dialed Lori Ann’s number hoping my timing was good and her husband was long gone at work.

Ciao?

Time’s up. Talk to me, Lori Ann. Now.

Jason, I’m fine. Really. Antonio and I were just fighting. I’m sorry if you worried.

Her voice still sounded wrong. She was lying and a damned fool if she thought I couldn’t hear it in her voice. But she just kept talking, trying to convince me and probably herself too.

We tend to get really passionate and animated when we argue. I was upset last night and missing home, that’s all.

We both know you’re lying, but I’m gonna drop it for a few minutes and ask…why haven’t you tried to call me for the last several months? That’s not like you…like us. What’s really going on? Are you in trouble? Has something happened that you need to tell me?

She was quiet for several very long seconds. I could hear noises in the background, so I knew she was still there on the other end of the phone. Then, I heard a faint sniffle. That was all I needed to confirm my suspensions and get my feet moving. My Lori Ann was in trouble. I was online and booking an expensive-ass flight within minutes. I shoved some clothes into a back-pack, not wanting to mess with any kind of heavy cumbersome luggage, and threw on a pair of jeans and a gray graphic tee shirt.

I’m on my way, Legs. Hang on, okay?

She gasped. NO, Jason. You can’t. That’s not a good idea. Please. I’ll leave, but I need time. Anton…

What the fuck did he do, Lori Ann? Tell me now, I barked into the phone and heard her sobs gets louder.

Stop, please. I’d never heard her voice sound so broken, and I felt fear creep up my spine and panic start to set in with how far away I was from my girl. No more. I can’t deal with anyone else being angry, Jace. Please.

I took a calming breath and said, I’m coming to get you and bring you home, and you can’t stop me. I need to protect you from whatever is going on. I’m booking my flight now, so I’ll be there as soon as I can. Okay?

I wasn’t sure what she might say. Lori Ann was strong-willed and independent, but with a quiet, sad voice I heard her say, Yes, Jason. Come get me. Hurry, please. And I was shattered.

Those two words stopped me in my tracks, stole my breath, and caused heavy grief to settle in my chest. This was bad.

Listen to me. You need to go somewhere safe until I can get there. Leave now.

I can’t. There’s nowhere to go that he won’t find me. Everyone here protects their own. I’m not one of them.

Fuck. I took a breath, trying to think quickly. Okay. Do what you have to do to protect yourself. I’m coming to get you.

Thank you, Jason. I’m sorry.

Why the hell are you sorry, babe? She was breaking my heart. This wasn’t my strong, independent girl.

I wasn’t strong enough to protect myself. I didn’t pay attention…refused to see the signs, and let you and myself down.

Oh, Legs. You could never disappoint me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was trying to say goodbye, and it scared the holy hell out of me. It’s easy to miss signs. We all do it. What’s important is that you are doing something about it now. Okay? Everything is gonna be fine. I’ll make sure of it. You trust me, don’t you?

Yes, Jason. Always. Her voice sounded stronger. Thank you.

Lori Ann, you’re my girl, always have been. You don’t need to thank me. Ever. I’ll text you with the flight info as soon as I know. Please, just… I didn’t know what to tell her to do. My chest felt like it had a boulder pressing against it and my legs were made of rubber bands. It was excruciating.

I’ll do all I can, Jace. I’ll wait for you to come for me.

I sighed. Already out the door, Legs.

Okay. I hung up with Lori Ann and immediately started calling Craig as I was climbing into my truck. I needed him to come with me. I sure as hell hoped he would, at least.

Jace, what the hell is it now? He was always so pleasant in the morning.

I’m going to get her, Craig. She practically begged…told me to come get her and to hurry. If you’re in, get your ass on a plane, man.

I heard him suck in a deep breath. Shit, really?

Yes.

I’m up and moving. Fuck, Jace! For Legs to ask for help, it must be bad.

Don’t call her that. You know better. Legs was my nickname for Lori Ann. Craig damn well knew that and did it just to piss me off…usually. I’m sure it was a slip of the tongue this time, but still.

Right. Whatever. He paused. What time is your flight?

It’s at 8:10 am and will take me like fifteen hours to get there. I have a two-hour layover at JFK in New York…flying into MXP, Malpensa International and with the time change, I won’t be there until tomorrow morning. Sucks, man. But it’s all I can do.

Okay. I’m booking now. I’ll try to catch up with you somewhere. I could already hear Craig’s fingers typing in the background.

I appreciate you going with me. You know you don’t have to. I can handle it just fine.

Yep, I know. But I want to help. Besides, I’m the only one that can keep you out of trouble.

I let out a tight laugh. You know it, man. I paused. Hey, I’m checking a bag. Have to since I’m packing my gun. Be sure you declare yours, or we’ll be in deep shit.

Okay. Got it. See you there. Keep me in the loop for where you are.

Done. I hung up and waited until I was at a red light to text Lori Ann.

Jason: On the first flight I could get. Leaving here about 8am. Will be in Milan by 8 in the morning. You okay?

Several minutes passed before I got her reply. It made me nervous as hell.

Lori Ann: Yes. I’m fine. Just do what you can. I’ll be here waiting for you.

I couldn’t get over the heavy feeling deep in my chest that my Lori Ann was actually asking me for help. That just wasn’t her. She was too strong, so this had to be really bad.

Jason: I’m coming, babe.

I pulled into the airport, quickly found the Long-Term parking, and jumped on a shuttle to get to the terminal. I was flying American Airlines from San Diego to New York’s JFK then on to Milan. Security was fairly light, and I was seated at my gate by 7:30 am. I tried like hell not to think of every awful scenario I could be facing when I stepped off the plane in Italy. My mind kept picturing Lori Ann bruised and beaten. So help me God, if she’s hurt…I won’t be able to keep my temper under control. That was one of the reasons I didn’t fight Craig coming along. He was calm and level headed, but also emotionally involved enough with Lori Ann and her situation that he would actually care and not just see this as a job.

I boarded and flew the five hours to New York. I busied myself with learning the layout of Milan using some maps I’d downloaded that morning. I didn’t want to be going into anything blind. I’d never been to Italy, so I knew