A Will A Way

By Patricia Kraus

A Will A Way is a story about Dianna, a young American girl growing up in a poor section of Queens, New York. Life is a struggle for her with an alcoholic father and six brothers and sisters. After the death of her mother, Dianna's world is turned upside down and she is forced to leave home and live with strangers where life begins to dramatically change for her.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 25, 1998
• ISBN: 9781483536811

Book preview

encouragement.

From the moment you saw her, you liked her. Her smile was pure and simple and always came easily. It lit up her face and immediately brought you to the focal point; the brightest and bluest eyes imaginable. Dianna was unaware that heads turned as she walked by or that whistles were meant for her. She rarely looked in a mirror to arrange her long brown hair or retouch her makeup once it had been applied in the morning. She accepted people’s interest in her unpretentiously, never for a moment thinking that anyone would like her simply because she was beautiful. Perhaps it was this naivete that put her in the position she was now in. A man and a job threatening her self-confidence. She knew she had to get away and think things out. As she sat at her desk at Jonas & Barnes Advertising Agency for the last time, she leaned her head back against her high back chair, closed her eyes and thought she had no regrets about leaving California. She believed she had given her all for the last two years to both her job and to Bill, but neither. relationship had worked out positively. It seemed to Dianna that they both asked too much and given too little.

She was jolted to reality by the sound of her name coming from her secretary. As Dianna looked up, she saw her young, black secretary standing erect by her office door. Excuse me, but the staff is waiting in the lobby for you. Of course, Jenny. Just give me a minute.

Dianna got up from behind her desk and walked over to the coat closet. They’re all out there, she thought, her boss, Dick Conrad; Grace, who never made it easy for her; and all her co-workers. She pictured them all smiling at her and spouting out words of endearment that, in her heart, she knew they didn’t mean. She could just hear Dick telling everyone how much he appreciated her fine work and great contribution to the company. As she slipped on her jacket, she chuckled to herself as she thought of the truth. The fact was, it was Dick who was making her leave the job. She thought it ironic that it was he who had hired her, he who supervised her training, he who arranged her promotion to head media buyer, and now, it was he who was pushing her out. Although it was ironic, it certainly was not complicated. It was simply the very old story of a successful, married executive desiring the affections of a young woman in his office and not being able to cope with rejection. Oh well, she thought, as she picked up her briefcase, live and learn they always say and it’s for damn sure I’m living and learning. She turned, gave one last look around her office, put her head up high, and slowly walked into the lobby.

Dianna was no fool. She played her role well. She hugged and kissed everyone and, as the cocktail glasses clicked, she flitted around the room making each person she spoke to feel that he would be the one most missed. She avoided contact with Dick as she did not want to have a final farewell with him. However, each time she glanced in his direction, she noticed his eyes were always on her.

The party was thinning out but Dick was not moving. Dianna was beginning to feel cornered. She walked to the glass windows that overlooked the city of Los Angeles and admired the night lights. How peaceful the city was, how carefree. Los Angeles she thought, had a way of stripping you of your responsibilities and laying you to waste. The daytime and the nighttime fun made you forget who you were and what purpose you existed for. Live today for tomorrow may bring an earthquake. As she leaned against the soft mint green curtains that surrounded the windows, she felt the warmth of a body next to hers. The night is beautiful, she whispered as she turned to look at Dick. Just like you. Stop it, she smilingly said, flattery will get you everywhere. Her mood changed suddenly. Seriously, let’s just let bygones be bygones and leave it at that. Dick’s mood changed just as suddenly. He looked at her in an unbelieving manner. Dianna, I just don’t understand, you could have had it all. You could have gone to the top. I was with you all the way but you chose to cop out. I just don’t understand.

You don’t understand?, she laughed. You know very well that what you consider the top for me would be what I consider the bottom. How could I face everyone here knowing I got my position because you desired me sexually? I just couldn’t live with myself. She looked at his sad but handsome face. Maybe I caught on a little too late but I don’t think you ever thought I had the talent for the job. It really hurts me to think you pushed me right along the ladder of success just so you could eventually sleep with me.

Not true, he said

It’s the truth. Only problem was it didn’t work out for you. He just stared back at her without a word in his defense. She had said enough, it was time to go. As she closed the door, she glanced back to see him still gazing out into the city below. Well, she thought, one down and one to go.

Bill had been waiting for more than an hour and he could feel himself getting annoyed. He checked his watch and noted the time to be eight o’clock, exactly one hour past the time he was supposed to meet Dianna. The restaurant was filling up and this annoyed him too, as their favorite dinner spot was small and cozy and Bill was afraid that within fifteen minutes, they would no longer be able to get,,,a table. He ordered another scotch and soda from the bartender and casually looked at the piano player who was playing Dianna’s favorite song, I Did It My Way.. Well, he thought, she’s certainly doing it her way this time. I’ve used every trick in the trade to keep her here but it just didn’t work.

Dianna stepped into the dimly lit restaurant just as Bill was finishing his drink. She looked around and admired the view for what she thought would be the last time. The deep red velvet chairs and curtains against the rich maple paneling gave forth such a feeling of warmth that it seemed to breathe into her a sense of security almost as if she were home once more. The ’Le Petite Amour’ was a converted house so that the rooms were small and intimate. This is one of the few places I’ll truly miss she thought as she headed to the bar to join Bill.

You’re late, he snapped. Fine way to speak to a lady you may not be seeing in quite a while, Dianna lightheartedly replied. Let’s get a table and I’ll explain.

They were escorted to a lovely little table in the far corner of the back dining room. If Dianna had planned it for herself, she couldn’t have picked a more appropriate spot for a farewell dinner. The crystal and china were obviously quite expensive for that of a restaurant but what Dianna noticed most was the delicate single rose in the middle of the table. It brought back a quick remembrance of their first date five years ago when Bill presented her with a single red rose he’d purchased on the streets of New York at four in the morning.

How romantic, she said as she sat down and picked up her menu.

Well, Bill said I guess this is the end of the line for us. I can’t believe you are actually leaving tomorrow.

Dianna smiled at him. We tried, didn’t we? It was just not meant to be. I guess we were just too different, from different backgrounds, with different values.

Dianna, I do love you, I just screw up every now and then.

She shook her head in exasperation. Half laughing, she commented, you have a funny way of showing your love. I’m sure you love things about me, but you don’t love the whole me and I can’t tolerate that. You love my warmth and we make it just fine in bed together; however, there’s one thing that you don’t love about me and that is tearing us apart.

And what may that be? he said sarcastically.

You know very well what it is...my independence.

That’s not true. His voice seemed strained. Who encouraged you the most? Who wanted you to succeed? Who was giving you advice when you needed it? Who?...you’re looking at who!

"That has nothing to do with it. The fact is, you need a woman just like your mother who is willing to wait on you hand and foot, attend to all your physical needs and never question a thing you do or where you go. In truth, you need a nice old-fashioned girl who has been brought up in an atmosphere of ’man superior, woman inferior’. Believe me, I’m not trying to put you down, it’s just that you were brought up that way and I wasn’t.

Bill crumpled his napkin angrily. "I’m not going to argue with you on our last night together but just to set the record straight, I never resented your independence; I just wanted a little of my own. You’re the needy one. You want me to be so much a part of your life that it’s stifling. Perhaps that’s why I do the terrible things I do. I rebel. It’s as simple as that. A person has to have their moments alone to do their own thing and be their own person. The trouble is you think two people should share every thought, every dream, and every goal with each other.

Dianna closed her eyes as she couldn’t bear to look at the man she loved so much. Everything he said was true. She loved him too much. She wanted to smother him, to possess him entirely, and it pained her to know that it could never be. Deep down she knew why she was leaving. She had to go back home to regain her strength. If she stayed she would weaken and fall prey once more to his charms and begin the same scenario all over again.

Home from the restaurant, Dianna stood at her apartment door and gazed at the man she loved for more than five years. His body was strong and powerful, his frame over six feet tall. His expressive eyes were large and brown, his nose straight and classical and his dark hair had a slight wave in it. If that wasn’t enough, Bill was also blessed with a smile that could charm a snake. Once again, Dianna had the feeling that she wanted to devour him. To take him in her arms and hold him until they became one. She held back her natural instinct to touch him. This time she had to-be strong, she had to resist his advances, and hold back all desires within her. It’s late and I have to get up early tomorrow to catch a plane, so if you don’t mind, I’ll just say goodnight and I’ll write you from Jersey.

I’m not going to accept this kind of goodbye. Things may not have worked out exactly as we had hoped but we still love each other and need each other, especially tonight. He drew her to him with just one arm as he smoothly slipped the key to her apartment into the keyhole with his other hand. The game was over and he had won again. He closed the door and then lifted her up and carried her into the bedroom. As he placed her on the soft quilted bedspread and laid his strong body across hers to kiss her lips, Dianna thought to herself, I may have lost the battle but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

He must have left her while she slept, for when the alarm went off at seven o’clock, she was alone in her bed. She jumped up full of energy and not at all depressed. Maybe it was the night with Bill, or the thought of going home that made her feel so good. She wasn’t quite sure, but then she didn’t have time to think about it either. She quickly showered, dressed, and packed the few remaining things that had to go into the suitcase. She phoned for a taxi and then went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and toast. Her apartment in Santa Monica had meant a lot to her. Decorated in soft pastels, it was very relaxing after a long day at the office. She walked over to the shelf in the living room where her collection of Dresden dolls and she hoped they would all arrive safely home in New Jersey. Bill had graciously volunteered to supervise the moving of all her furniture and valuables after she was gone.

Now her apartment stood as a symbol of defeat. She had deliberately picked a large, roomy apartment with the hope that she and Bill could begin their married life together there. That had failed. She had decorated it in a soft feminine way that still was very enticing to a male. Within a split second, the energy she had felt that morning was drained from her body. She began to feel ill at ease. A sense of inadequacy and insecurity engulfed her. What’s happening to me? She started to twist and turn until she had to throw her arms around herself to stop. I must get out of this place, Dianna screamed out loud. I’m going crazy. She ran into her bedroom, grabbed her suitcase and, just as she was picking up her coat, the doorbell rang. Thank God, she breathed, the taxi.

She calmed down on the way to the airport and by the time she had reached L.A. International, Dianna was feeling a twinge of excitement in her body once more. The sounds of the jets as they took off and landed had always increased her pulse and this time was no different. She tipped the driver, handed her luggage to the skycap and then headed for the cocktail lounge for a nice tall Bloody Mary to settle her nerves. The traffic had been relatively light so Dianna had a good half hour to relax before boarding the plane. She ordered her drink and sat back to watch the people as they scurried by to their various gates. People had always fascinated Dianna and she loved to observe them from all walks of life converging at one place. It made her smile to see a woman of obvious class and refinement, dressed in a designer suit, walking practically arm in arm with a hippie of the 1960 vintage. His hair and beard were of equal length, both stretching down to his shoulders. His old army jacket was torn and dirty and it looked as if he had last bathed a year ago. What separated him from an ordinary Bowery bum was the fact that in his hand, he carried books, a pad of paper, and several pencils. Right behind them was a Puerto Rican family of seven. The mother was dressed in red and black with dark stockings and narrow high heels. Her black hair was long and tightly curled and her face was covered with thick make-up including deep red lipstick on her mouth.. Her husband, who appeared shorter than she was and the children, ranging in age from approximately ten years of age to three, all hurried behind her in a row. Dianna noticed a priest and rabbi deeply engrossed in what appeared to her as very serious conversation. They walked slowly and didn’t seem to notice anyone around them. It did appear as if, at least for the moment, their concerns was not of this world. Dianna was finishing her second drink just as a bunch of giggling teenagers passed by the lounge. That’s one stage in life that doesn’t change much from generation to generation, she thought. They had on the uniform of their age - faded blue jeans, well-worn sneakers, and a shirt or sweater of various colors. Dianna could remember as if it were just yesterday, those days of laughter and carefree times. Time certainly does pass quickly she thought as she paid her check and walked toward her waiting plane. She had selected a window seat in the coach section of the wide-bodied plane. Not used to drinking so early, Dianna felt a little lightheaded as she awaited the magic moment of takeoff. Everything went according to schedule, and soon the Boeing 747 was gliding at 38,000 feet above the good earth. Dianna ordered another Bloody Mary and with each sip, she could feel herself slipping further and further away from reality. It was almost as though she was being hypnotized as she went back into her memory, back to where it all began, back to the tenement building in Queens where she was born.

Her dream was so beautiful that she hated to be awakened from it. She had been nestled in a soft, warm bed beneath a white canopy. Next to her sat her favorite companion, her one and only doll, Peggy. She spoke to Peggy in typical nine-year old fashion, showing her all the fascinating new toys that surrounded her. Dianna fought to hold on to the dream, but the more her mother shook her, the more she lost contact with the world of make believe. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked up at her mother leaning over her bed.

There was no soft bed, no canopy, only Peggy to keep her company.

Come on now, Dianna, her mother said hurriedly, the school bus won’t wait for her royal highness, so hurry up and get dressed.

Dianna slid her legs over the side of the twin bed without disturbing her younger sister, Betsy, who slept beside her. It felt like zero degrees in the room just as it had felt that way since the electricity went off two weeks ago. She quickly put her blouse on over the sweater she had slept in and then placed the only other sweater she owned over that. She wore knee socks that stretched up to her thighs and a skirt that once belonged to her older sister, Roberta. It was much too long for her but it was warm and that’s what mattered. After putting on her shoes, she raced across the narrow hall and knocked on the bathroom door. Hurry up in there, will ya. Dianna shouted, I’ll be late for school. Hold your horses, pipsqueak, I’ll be out in a minute, Ken replied. She stood impatiently outside the bathroom door until her older brother opened it from within and stepped out. As cold as Dianna felt, she still managed a warm smile for the favorite man in her life. All yours, pipsqueak, Ken said as he patted her on the head. See if you can improve upon an almost perfect face. Oh, sure, she retorted, some perfect face I have. Perfect for a witch maybe. She may not have agreed with Ken but she sure did love to hear his compliments. No one else in the family treated her quite like he did. He made her feel special and that made her feel good. It seemed he always had time, no matter how busy he was, to stop and talk to his younger sister or put his arms around her when she was feeling sad. The little attention he gave her paid off, as Dianna worshiped him as though he was God himself.

Well, squirt, I have to run. Don’t want to be late for another exciting day at the Shell station. He started down the steep stairs, two at a time, just as Dianna was shouting to him. You’re the best mechanic they have and don’t you forget it.

She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. With the electricity off, the bathroom didn’t serve much of a purpose. There was no hot water so Dianna simply splashed some cold water on her face with her hands, and then brushed her teeth. Her hair was in desperate need of a washing, but that had to wait till Saturday when mommy would heat the water on the gas stove. Until then, all Dianna could do was brush it several times and put it back into a ponytail. Because the toilet was frozen, and not able to flush, her mother had explained to each one of the children exactly how to handle the situation. There was a vial by the broken toilet that was used to urinate in and a pile of old newspapers were used for the solid waste. Mother had explained it in very simple terms. You simply poured the contents of the vial down the sink and then wrapped the waste in newspaper. Each. one was responsible for bringing down the paper and putting it outside the kitchen door. Dianna did exactly as she was told, yet hating every minute of it. Someday, she said, out loud, when I’m all grown up, I’m going to have at least ten bathrooms in my house so if one breaks, I’ll have nine others to use. She looked at herself one more time in the foggy mirror, picked up the smelly package and hurried down the stairs towards the kitchen.

By the time she sat down at the table, most of her family was already there.. Her dad sat quietly at the head of the table, not saying anything just, slowly sipping his coffee. He kept his head down almost as though he was ashamed to show his swollen face and bloodshot eyes to the rest of the family. As far back as Dianna could remember, the story was always the same. Every night after dinner, her father would go out and then every morning, he would sit there in silence. Next to him sat her two other brothers, Tommy and Donald. They were a year apart and now, at ages twelve and eleven, they caused more problems for her mother than all the other children combined. It seemed that every other day, mother was going up to the school to speak to the principal.

They were in the process of tossing their cereal up in the air with their spoons as their mother’s back was turned to the stove. God damn it, Tommy, you just got oatmeal over the only clean blouse I own, screamed Roberta. I’m goin’ take your filthy little neck and wrap it around a pole if you don’t cut the crap.

Mother wheeled around just in time to see Roberta leaning over her younger brother, about to hit him. Calm down both of you this second, she snapped. Roberta, sit down and eat. Tommy, stop the nonsense or you’ll miss your bus. Both children sneered at each other and returned to eating their daily breakfast of hot cereal.

Dianna picked up her bowl, poured a little milk on it, and then sat down between her father and her oldest sister, Sally. Good morning, she said sweetly. When no one answered her, she put her head towards the bowl in front of her and ate in silence. Sally broke the solitude by announcing to the family, Well folks, now that most of yous are here, I have something I want to say. She looked, around to make sure she had everyone’s attention. I’ve decided that I won’t be going back to school no more.

Her mother turned abruptly around to face her first born. For God’s sakes, Sally, stop such talk. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times that without an education, you can’t make it in this. world. Let’s drop the subject here and now. The answer is no.

I’ve heard your arguments over and over again and it’s no use. I’m quitting and getting a job where I can make enough money to get the hell out of this shithole.

Don’t talk like that in front of the children. . Your father and I work very hard to put a roof over your head and food in your stomach. I know you want more and I want more for you, but. you’ll never get it without an education. She could feel herself filling up with emotion but continued to speak. Sally, don’t you realize that being a waitress will only give you a taste of the good life? A taste so small that you will want more and you won’t be able to have it. Then what will you do? Work harder for those tips, hustle a little more, and, finally, wind up on the streets? No, sweetheart, you deserve better than that.

I deserve better?, Sally laughed. That’s a joke! I’ll tell you what I deserve, nothing, nothing at all. I come from nothing and as far as I’m concerned, I’m going to wind up nothing. By now, Sally was practically shouting. My father’s an alcoholic, a bum. My mother slaves away every day of her life for nothing, and you expect me to be somebody? I’m not asking for the world, maw, all I want is a chance to get out. A chance to sleep in a bed that I don’t have to share with nobody. A chance to buy my own clothes and eat my own food. I want a chance, a chance to live. Sally threw her head down on the table and started to cry. Tommy, Donald, Roberta and Dianna saw their chance to escape this horrible scene and immediately grabbed their school books and ran. As Dianna passed the table on the way out, she leaned over as close to Sally as she could get. I love you and I think you do deserve the best.Sally looked up into her sister’s blue eyes. Thanks, kid, I’ll remember that

For Dianna, the winter of 1961 passed rather uneventfully. Sally had moved out and for the time being, Dianna had a bed of her very own. She delighted in cutting out and taping pictures of puppy dogs and kittens, ponies, and other baby animals on the walls surrounding her bed. The picture she loved the most and placed right above the head of her bed was a colored photo of Jacqueline Kennedy that she had torn off the cover of a movie magazine. She thought the first lady was the most elegant and beautiful person she had ever seen. How she wished that some day she would grow up to have the style and grace of that woman and marry a handsome man like President Kennedy. It was in that daydream world of movie stars and famous people that Dianna spent her time.

It so happened that in the Hampton household, birthdays were a very important event. On that special day, the birthday child could select his own menu for dinner whether it was hot dogs, spaghetti, or pizza, and that meal would be served to the entire family. On April 2nd, Dianna rushed home from school in order to help her mother decorate the cake for Ken’s 18th birthday. As she walked through the door, she could smell the aroma of freshly baked cake permeating the hallway that led to the kitchen.

Hi, maw, she said as she kissed her mother hello. Is the cake ready for frosting?

No, dear, it has to cool for at least a half hour so why don’t you get out the white tablecloth and set the table for me. Sally has to work tonight so she won’t be coming over but Ken will be bringing his girlfriend Sharon, so set the table for nine.

Your wish is my command, mother dear, Dianna said jokingly as she carefully arranged the plates, knives, and forks around the kitchen table. Oh, thought her mother, if only the others could be as easy and cooperative as this child, life would sure be a little less complicated.

Finished, Dianna stated. Call me when it’s time to frost the cake. I’ll be upstairs wrapping Ken’s present. Remember, maw, don’t let Roberta get her grubby hands on that cake. It’s my turn to decorate a birthday cake and don’t let her forget it.

Before her mother had a chance to say anything, Dianna was out of sight and up the stairs. She bent down on her hands and knees to recover a little paper bag she had placed upstairs under her bed several days ago. Ken is really going to like this, she thought as she took a silvery colored ballpoint pen out of the bag. The thing she liked the most about her gift was the printing on the pen. She twisted the pen around until she could see the wording very clearly - PROPERTY OF KEN HAMPTON. Yes, she thought, as she wrapped the present in yellow and white paper, this will be his finest gift, I’m sure, I’m absolutely sure.

Everyone was in a jovial mood at dinner. The smell of the chicken cacciatore was delicious and it even overpowered the smell of their father’s alcoholic breath. Ken was enjoying himself telling tales of women customers at the station. Take, for example, the woman that comes in yesterday to da station and says, ’there’s somthin’ the madder with my car. It’s making real funny noises and I don’t know what’s the madder cause I just got gas yesterday.’ So I look inside the hood and sure enough, she’s down three quarts of oil. I says, Lady, don’t you ever put no oil in your car? Oil, she says, "ain’t that the same stuff I put in my tank yesterday?’ Everyone roared with laughter and agreed women sure were dumb when it came to cars.

While Ken still had his audience, he proceeded to tell another story about a woman.trying to change her own tire. As he told his funny story, Dianna sat there thinking. When I grow up, no one is going to sit around and make fun of me. They’re all laughing at the stupid woman, but I’ll show them. I’ll go to college, get a great job like a lawyer or a doctor, ride around in a great big Cadillac and have my own personal mechanic so my car will always be perfect. She came out of her daydream with the singing of Happy Birthday To You.

Well, my son,- mother said, directing her attention to Ken. You’re eighteen and a fine and handsome lad. She said this with a touch of Irish brogue left over from her childhood days spent in Ireland. Tell us what plans you have for the future? Ken looked around, a bit embarrassed by his mother’s question especially with his girlfriend Sharon by his side. To tell the truth, he said, I think my future lies in what the army wants to do with me. I expect to be hearing from those guys pretty soon and who knows what will happen? After the Bay of Pigs invasion, we may be goin’ to war with Cuba or even better, the Russians.

The atmosphere . immediately changed from lightheartedness to a very serious note. I’m sorry, Ken but I don’t understand, Sharon said. What do you mean by the Bay of Pigs? Oh, it’s nothing to worry about, hon, Ken said, trying to keep it light, it’s just that there was a small invasion by Cuban refugees, trained and equipped by the United Sates C.I.A. that failed. You see, these guys were supposed to get air support from the U.S., but the air coverage was canceled and the invading force was overcome by the Cuban government troops. Needless to say, Castro is fuming mad at Kennedy, and the entire U.S. He has threatened to retaliation and I for one, am not sure what the hell is gonna happen.

Dianna couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Could that handsome Mr. Kennedy have done something so terrible as to start a war with Cuba or Russia? Oh no, she thought, impossible! He was far too nice to do that. Besides, she just couldn’t imagine her beloved brother having to go off to some foreign country to fight and kill people.

You’re ruining this party by all this talk of war, Roberta snapped. I’d would rather talk about Elvis Presley or somthin’ a little more excitin’ than war.

Roberta is right, mother said. Why don’t we cut the cake and Ken, you open your gifts. The presents were placed in front of him and he meticulously opened each one and thanked the appropriate person. At last, he came to the small package wrapped in yellow and white paper. Now, who could this be from? he said with a twinkle in his eye. Let me guess. Grandma O’Connelly? No, Dianna said, laughing. No? Ken said, then it must be from Grandpa Hampton! No, silly, it’s from me, she said, all giggly and cute. She watched anxiously as Ken tore the paper apart and pulled out the silver pen with the bold black print on it, Property of Ken Hampton. Hey, sweetie, he said, that’s a great gift. You can’t imagine how many guys at the station try to steal my pens from me. Now it will be impossible. He took the pen and placed it in his coat pocket. Dianna, I’ll carry this wherever I go. Then I’ll always know my name. Everyone laughed and Dianna beamed with happiness.

On May 5th, the day that Alan Shepard made his historic flight into space, Ken received his notice to report to the local draft board for his physical. Soon after that, he was classified IA and received his orders to report to Fort Dix, New Jersey, for basic training. Ken took the news well and actually seemed quite excited about the chance to leave Queens, New York, where he had spent his entire life. Even New Jersey seemed like a foreign country to him and the thought of traveling thrilled him.

Well folks, it’s time to go, Ken said. He took his mother in his arms and as he hugged her, he said, I want none of you to cry for it’s not gonna be so bad. Matter of fact, I might just have a good time in Uncle Sam’s Army. I’ll write you as soon as I can and maw, I’ll send home money every month.

Everyone was standing around sort of staring at Ken and not knowing exactly what to say. Finally Dianna stepped forth and took her brother’s hand. Ken, you got my pen with you? Sure kid, he said, I told ya that I’d take it with me everywhere. You know in the army, they give ya a I.D. number and that becomes your army name. It’s a good possibility that in a couple of years I’ll remember only that I’m private 1st class #73421. That’s where your pen comes in handy. All’s I do is look at my pen and then I know I’m not Private 1st Class #73421 but Private 1st Class Ken Hampton!

Ken looked around at his family. As he scanned their faces he thought, ’yeah, I’ll miss them all.’ He’d miss his mother with her warmth and understanding. How patient she always was and what a hard life she’ll always have. He’d miss his two younger brothers who were always getting into mischief and always getting into his things. Roberta, he’d miss watching her grow from a bratty fourteen-year-old to a woman and Betsy he’d miss seeing her grow up too. She was only six and although he thought she was quite adorable, he admitted to himself that he had never spent enough time with her to get to know his youngest sister. There was no need to think how much he would miss Dianna, for the kid held his heart. Every time he’d look down at her and see those sparkling blue eyes, he felt good inside. He knew that whatever happened to him didn’t matter ’cause Dianna was goin’ to make it in the world, this he was positive of. At last his gaze fell on Sharon. A chill engulfed him as he thought of the many beautiful nights they had spent together. Making love to Sharon was like holding a kitten in his arms. She was so soft and innocent yet wild and passionate. He secretly hoped she could come over to New Jersey during his stay there so they could be alone together again.

Ken deliberately avoided looking at his father, for there was the only member of the family he would not miss. Deep