What Is Happiness?

By Daniel Quinn

A loving father, dedicated husband and industrious worker, Andy Matson leads an bucolic and fulfilling life that has been built from nothing more than resilience and hard work.

But following the death of an old friend he begins to see just how cruel a mistress life can be as everything he has worked for slowly begins to deteriorate.

Andy must fight against the very demons of mental health that killed his friend in order to persevere and claim back the life that was once his.

'What is Happiness?' is the novel adaption of the Hip Hop album of the same name by Wee D and Steg G, Coming in the summer of 2017.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 14, 2017
• ISBN: 9780244901035

Book preview

What Is Happiness?

What is Happiness?

Chapter One

What Is Happiness?

He chose the noose.

It was the most unforgiving mistress of them all. Unlike pills that you could be regurgitated when the smallest dribble of doubt crept in or the razor that he just couldn’t seem to dig deeply enough into his skin, the noose would not tolerate reconsideration when you embarked upon her journey.

He had scaled the high rise once, even made it onto the roof but in a bizarre turn of events, it triggered an extremely uncomfortable fear of heights that restricted him from even nearing the precipice of the buildings’ façade. It was primal he guessed, it evoked a vulnerability in him that even in his darkest times had shaken him to the core.

So the noose would do. It would have to.

He stood atop the creaking kitchen chair and tied it around the vertical wooden beam of his upstairs bannister, having to stretch a little more than he was able to in order to complete the feat. He was not frightened, he was not apprehensive nor was he sad. He was nothing. Void of thoughts and feelings, disconnected from the scenes of destruction and negligence around him like he was watching a movie of himself go through his final minutes on earth. It was not a new feeling; life had been like this for as long as he cared to remember now.

Satisfied with the rigidity of the knot and the wooden beam, he took a minute to compose himself and look around his flat for the final time. It was a desolate land of empty bottles and soiled clothing, several holes decorated the walls where his fist had broken through the surface and a large pile of unopened mail drowned the welcome mat that his ex wife had bought when they moved in.

He noted the acrid string of dried tears that had settled into his cheeks and the recognition of their existence washed a bitter taste through his soul. He had been dealt the shit hand in life by all accounts, he had been emotionally beaten, bruised, clawed and broken down by the woman he loved, abandoned by the only friend he ever had, robbed of his parents and forced into a repetitive life of squalor that seemed impossible to escape no matter what he done. He would never be able to articulate how painful the loss of hope in his life was, especially when you had no one to talk to about it.

Trembling, he retrieved his phone from his pocket and forcefully punched in the passcode. He didn’t know why he was scrolling through his phonebook, just as he had done every minute of the day for the past week but he knew he had to. He bit his lip nervously as Andrews phone started to ring but felt his stomach weigh as the seconds slipped by. There it was again, the loss of hope. He hung up just as the voicemail kicked in and threw his phone to the ground. He swallowed hard and looked up toward the sky.

‘God Forgive me’ His voice barely a whisper.

And then he kicked the chair.

Chapter Two

You only get one life so live it the way you want it…

‘So I said, try not to wake your wife up with four inches again Mick!’

Andy Matson snapped his head back and roared with laughter at his own wit while his wife humoured him with a smile and resumed focus on the roast chicken salad. Humour was one of his finer qualities to most but after 9 years of the same formulaic jokes, she could predict the punchline an age before it came.

‘How’s Jack settling in now?’ Linda asked, genuinely curious of the answer.

She had met him a few times while dropping Robbie into nursery, Jack had a son called Steven who was also three and their boys seemed to like one another. He always made a point of speaking to her, usually about trivial things such as the weather but she didn’t mind, he seemed interested in what she had to say. The extra bonus was that he was absolutely breath-taking in his appearance but she would keep that opinion to herself.

‘Jack Mooney? Yeah he’s alright…A bit inexperienced.’ Andy spat through a mouthful of chicken ‘But he seems keen, got him doing a bit of delivery on our SDS contract with Joe but he seems to get on with the kids well so it’s a good start.’

Jack turned and playfully rubbed his sons’ head who seemed more focused on shovelling handfuls of sweetcorn into his mouth than acknowledging his father.

‘I mean, it’s not a difficult job is it really. He just has to help other people get jobs.