Finding Clarity: The Secrets Series, #2

By Emma Shade

Lily Canton survived her brush with death from a lunatic determined to destroy her.

Just when she thought she was safe, she finds out her life is far from secure. Conrad Steele is back and he's got a score to settle. With the help of new friends, and the two men who are both trying to win her heart, she attempts to stop Con for good.

Lily will face her biggest challenge yet.

Not only will it test her strength and friendship, but it could break her heart.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Emma Shade
• Release date: Jul 25, 2014
• ISBN: 9781501408915

Emma Shade

About the Author Emma lives in Indiana with her husband and three crazy cats. When she’s not busy writing her next novel, she enjoys spending time with family and friends, listening to music, taking naps, or curled up with a good book. Emma is a proud member of the Romance Writers of America. Would you like to learn more about upcoming books? You can find me online: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authoremmashade Website:  www.emmashadeauthor.com Twitter:  https://twitter.com/ShadeEmma   Finding Clarity, The Secrets Series #2 is available now!  Finding Lily, The Secrets Series #3 is available now!  To Ashes, The Secrets Series #4 (Spinoff) is coming soon!   

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

Life rarely goes as planned. At first, you may have plans and aspirations, dreams and goals. Then life takes a left turn, tossing you on the ground like bully on the playground. You tumble and fall, scraping your knees and grating your palms as a lame attempt catch yourself. Is it fair? No. However, life is never fair, and I’ve had enough left turns to last a lifetime.

As I stared across at Ashton’s brother over the flames, I wasn’t sure how many surprises I could take. First, I learned I was a conjurer, which is a fancy word for witch, and I was supposedly a powerful one. However, I couldn’t control my power. I blame that mostly on my birth parents. My birth mother was a conjurer and my father was a vampire. They weren’t even supposed to have children, but here I sat. Their love was an ill-fated affair that ended in disaster, murder, and dark secrets.

Of course in the middle of this hot mess known as my life, I fell for Ashton Ryder, the sexy-as-sin vampire and owner of the popular dance club, Revive. I’d fallen hard and fast for Ashton. He wanted me, even though I was half conjurer. He loved me no matter what I was, and wanted to be my match, which was kind of like being married in the vampire world.

Then there was Blake Moore, a powerful conjurer guaranteed to have skeletons in his closet. Blake was an enigma. Sexy, powerful, and confusing - all wrapped up with a nice, shiny bow. He pushed his way in and rooted feelings inside my heart. Despite my feelings for Ashton, I think I might love Blake, too.  I shouldn’t have any feelings when it comes to Blake but, as I said, life wasn’t fair.

I’d found two glorious friends along the way. Sam Arbor and Carlotta Brown showed me true friends exist. Real friends never assumed, always listened, and didn’t judged you. A few years ago, you would have never caught me out in public, let alone making friends. But here I was, missing the friends who had crept into my heart.

Stacy and Con had kidnapped me in a desperate attempt to further their evil plans. The last person I expected to be a hero, Paige saved me. She was a smartass bitch who didn’t give a crap what you thought of her. I still wasn’t sure what to think about Paige’s motives.  

All that mayhem led me to sit here, parked in the middle of the woods, staring at Ashton’s long, lost brother, Alistair. Could my life get any more confusing? No? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

I’m Alistair Ryder. Nice to finally meet you, Lily. Alistair stared back at me over the campfire, waiting for my response.

About fifty years ago, Alistair had vanished without a word. It turned out he had dropped me off after my parents were murdered. He was behind the rescue attempt today, though I’m not sure what he had to do with Paige. Just another mystery I was determined to solve, I guess.

What are you doing here?

Alistair smirked. I’ve always been around. You just never paid attention. I’ve watched as you danced at your first recital, had your first date, and graduated school.

That’s kinda creepy, Alistair.

I made a promise to your father that I intend to keep. Creepy? No, he said with a shrug. I don’t take promises lightly.

You’ve been following me around my entire life? Why haven’t you let Ashton know you’re alive? He assumed you were dead. Do you know what that did to him? How can you do that to your own brother? I asked in rapid-fire succession.

I couldn’t show my face until now. Please understand why I stayed hidden. Staying in the shadows kept your secret buried. You have no idea what could happen if everyone knows who you are. It’s even more dangerous now that Con knows and escaped.

I shivered at the mention of Con.

Why don’t you tell me what the big deal is? Sure, I’m a mix of both vampire and conjurer. Woopy freaking do, I said, throwing my hands in the air. Besides, I don’t even know what a conjurer really is. Why do vampires and conjurers hate each other? All I’m left with are these lingering questions.

"Woopty freaking do? Lily, let’s not be so carefree about this. It’s serious."

Then fill me in, Mr. Serious. What in the hell is a conjurer?

Alistair grunted, and then sighed. Well, what you are is quite simple, really. A conjurer has had many names over the years. Witch, sorcerer, wizard, shaman, and whatever else with the same meaning. Each person born with those genes have different abilities, ranging from controlling the weather, to something as simple as moving objects with their mind. However, like everything in this world, being powerful comes with a price. Usually that price is their life.

Why would it matter how powerful you were? I know two powerful ones who are still living. I glanced at Paige, who shifted a little with a snort in her sleeping bag.

Ah, yes. Paige and Blake are still alive. That’s because they don’t abuse their powers. They stay out of sight and out of mind. Think of it like this...if you rob a bank, do you boast it to everyone, or stay silent?

He had a point. Was that what was expected of me? Stay silent and be a good little girl? See, I had a problem with that. I remained silent for most of my life, and I wanted to live. To be myself for once. Sure, I’d rushed headfirst into friendships, romance, and sharing my secrets in the past month or two. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Taking that plunge without regrets is what made me who I was today.

So what does that mean for me? Am I supposed to stay silent again? I can’t stay in the background anymore, being that scared little girl under the bleachers. I just can’t.

Alistair frowned. It means that once the secret is out, everyone is going to either try to kill you, or use you for their own propaganda. The storm is already brewing. You’ll have two sides wanting you to choose. What side will you be on, Lily?

Choose a side? What good would that do? Swaying one way or another would cause more prejudice. I had Ashton and Blake to think about, too. Could I give one of them up? No. Neither side, Alistair. I want to be my own person, and nobody is going to tell me what to do. Not anymore.

You may not have a choice. Some of these people make it hard to say no.

Like the mob or something?

Lily, you have no idea. Worse.

So are you going to answer me as to why these people hate each other, or not? Am I supposed to just sit here on my ass and listen to this bullshit?

He rubbed his face in frustration, letting out a noisy breath. I’m not, as you so eloquently put it, bullshitting you. There’s a lot to learn.

Paige started shuffling up to a sitting position with a yawn. Do you guys have to be so fucking loud? Can’t a girl get some beauty sleep around here?

Alistair gave her a raised eyebrow, leaning back on his elbows. I’ve been up all night.

I was a snack pack for a few days. Not you. So kiss my ass.

What time is it? I went to reach for my cell phone, but I’d left it in the hotel where the guy kidnapped me. Can I use a phone?

Sure. Paige yawned again before pulling out her phone.

Thanks. I snatched the phone from her and walked towards the edge of the trees to make the call. Alistair would hear me even if I walked across the pond, but I didn’t care.

Countless days had passed since I’d spoken to my friends, besides the dream of Blake. I just had to hear Ashton’s voice. I felt lost, hopeless, and frightened without either of them. They were my anchor and my shield. How did I not see that?

Hello? Ashton’s deep timbre rolled softly over my skin, triggering a shudder deep down into my soul. His voice was the best sound in the world. A chorus of angels wouldn’t measure up to how wonderful his voice was to me in that moment.

You don’t know how great it is to hear your voice.

Liliana! Baby, where are you? Blake told me you’re okay, but wouldn’t tell me anything else. No matter how many times I threaten the bastard, he won’t give. I’ve been going insane.

I sighed and all the weight seemed to lift off my shoulders. There were times during my kidnapping I wondered if I would speak to him or anyone again. I’d been beaten, drugged, and bitten by Con. It was a wonder I made it out alive. I’m fine. Not sure where I am, but don’t worry. Stacy is dead. Paige did an awesome rescue attempt, or I be halfway across the world with a vicious vampire.

I’m glad you’re okay, even though I wish you were in my arms right now. I just couldn’t imagine my life without you. My life was an empty shell until I met you, Liliana. I would’ve searched the ends of the earth to bring you home. Now that I know you’re out of harm’s way, I’m out for revenge. Who was the vampire?

His name was Con. That’s all I remember. Things were really a blur. They kept me drugged most of the time.

Ashton growled. When I find him, he’s a dead man.

The sky was starting to lighten from the sunrise, and I glanced back to see Alistair watching me with a blank expression. Ashton, promise you won’t freak out on me?

Of course, Liliana.

I paused and chanced a look at Alistair again. Then I said, Okay, well, your brother is alive.

How do you know that?

Another pause to garner up my courage. Because he’s here with me.

The line was silent for so long that I looked at the phone screen to make sure I hadn’t lost him. Then Ashton’s voice boomed through the speaker. "He’s there? Let me talk to him. Let him explain to me where he’s been for the last fifty years. I want to know what he’s doing involved in this, and why! What does he want with you!?"

I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I think it’s better if you see him in person.

Alistair stood and walked in my direction. When he reached me, he tried to grab the phone out of my hands, but I slapped his hand away. Time to go, Lily. We’ll take you to Ashton’s club. Tell him we’ll be there by nightfall.

"Is that him? It’s him, isn’t it?"

I’ve got to go, Ashton. Tell everyone I’m okay. I’ll see you tonight.

Liliana, please...

Closing my eyes, I hit the end button. Sure, it was wrong of me to cut him off so quickly, but some things were better face-to-face. His brother showing up after all these years was one of them.

Snapping my eyes open, I stared at the phone’s black display and my reflection in the screen. My hands trembled, and I hoped the phone would ring with Ashton or Blake’s number.

He won’t call back, because the number is private. And it’s a prepaid, Paige said softly, taking the phone from my shaky hands.

I nodded and headed back to the fire, kicking dirt in frustration. The feeling of guilt swamped my heart after abruptly disconnecting the phone with Ashton. I’d been waiting days to hear his voice. And what did I do when I heard him after all this time? I hung up on him the second things got messy. Would I always run when turmoil reared its ugly head?

A clamor caught my attention, and I glanced up, worried somebody had found us. Paige was carrying a pail from the woods with the handle clanging against the metal container. Alistair had disappeared into the trees a while back, doing God only knows what. Paige and I started to pick up the campsite and wrapped up the sleeping bags. We used the bucket to douse the fire with water from the pond. She began to scoop up some mud from the edge of the water. Paige waddled around the fire, her legs angled as far back as possible and pouring mud on the coals.

What are you doing?

She glanced up and waved an indignant hand over the fire pit. Trying to hide our tracks.

A loud engine roared from the woods and I started. Paige didn’t seem concerned, though. Within a few seconds, Alistair crashed through the trees with an ATV, came to a stop, and skidded sideways. For good measure, he revved the engine before swinging a leg over the four-wheeler. My gaping mouth formed a grin as I watched him dismount. He removed straps on a dirt bike tied to the back rack on the ATV, easily setting it on two wheels as though it weighed nothing.

So much for staying inconspicuous, I muttered.

You two on the ATV. Be sure to secure your belongings. It’s a bumpy ride, he said.

Cocking his head to the side like a bird, he scanned our surroundings. Alistair’s eyes searched the trees, listening to every sound and watching for any movement.

He resembled Ashton so much that it astounded me. With the same color eyes, sharp jaw, and enigmatic smile, the resemblance was uncanny. The only exception being a slightly crooked nose and more muscle. There was no doubt they were brothers. I couldn’t help but stare as his leg swung over the dirt bike, and listening the engine roar to life as he kick-started it.

Are you going to stand there all day and drool? Or are we going to get the hell out of here? Paige demanded, sitting on the all-terrain vehicle.

Shaking off the thoughts of Ashton’s brother, I climbed onto the seat behind her and secured the strap around the sleeping bags to the rack. Paige started the engine, and I jumped. We don’t have helmets? If you kill me on this thing, then we’re all going to be in a world of hurt. I will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Paige snickered as she twisted her wrist to make the engine rev. You better hold on tight then.

Alistair darted off into the trees. Paige gunned the engine, following him like a bat out of hell. With my arms around her waist and my face in her back, I clenched my eyes shut. When I finally opened my eyes to peek, Paige’s red hair was whipping around me like a fiery storm. The trees were zooming by in a blur. A tree trunk came precariously close to the tires and I shrieked, squeezing my eyes closed again.

You’re going to make me piss my pants if you squeeze any harder! Paige turned her head, screaming at me.

Sorry.

I relaxed just a little bit, but remained ready to hold on for dear life if necessary. I dared myself to open my eyes, taking in the surroundings as they blurred by. Alistair ramped fallen trees, spinning out, and racing in between the trees as if he was competing in the X-Games. He smiled the whole time, and when he caught air on a small hill, he let go of the handlebars, putting his arms out to the side. He landed without holding on, and Paige just shook her head. Finally, he slowed down just enough to get beside us, pointing to the right.

A short time later, we arrived in a clearing where a black Hummer with dark tinted windows waited for us. We were in the middle of nowhere, and the huge, fancy vehicle stuck out like a... well, Hummer in the woods. When we reached the vehicle, Paige stopped the four-wheeler unexpectedly and I slammed against her back.

Please exit to the right, and thank you for riding Paige’s zany excursions, she said, and then cackled at her own joke.

You’re nuts. You know that? I edged myself off the seat and planted my feet on the ground.

Never said I wasn’t. She winked before gunning the engine and driving the ATV behind some thick bushes, and laughing the whole time.

Alistair followed and the engines cut off. The silence was deafening after listening to these two vehicles in the woods. I sat against the back bumper of the Hummer, leaning my head against the metal. Fatigue crept up on me fast and I blinked in an attempt to keep my eyes open. Angry voices broke the silence and woke me from my stupor.

You’re a dick, Alistair.

Well, you’re a bitch, so we’re even.

Paige made an exasperated huffing noise and stormed out of the bushes like a woman scorned. She threw her hands in the air in an angry gesture, mumbling, and shaking her head as she made her way toward the Hummer.

What’s going on? I barely managed to dodge her flailing arms as they took flight in angry gestures.

Nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing! That man is so frustrating! He’s a jackass to the extreme!

Yes, men usually are, I said.

That’s why I steer clear of men who think they’re God’s gift to women.

Paige, isn’t that most of them? You’re limiting the playing field quite a bit there.

She stared at the direction where Alistair had disappeared among the bushes. After running a hand through her knotted red hair, she let out a curse. That one is the fucking worst. He knows how to press all my buttons and drive me insane.

I cocked an eyebrow. It may not be my place to ask this, so please tell me if I’m overstepping my boundaries here. Do you like Alistair?

Her head whipped in my direction. Hell no. Way over the boundary. I know you mean well, Paige whipped a finger out and pointed at me, but you crossed the line. Why would you ask me that? Can’t you see he’s a douchebag?

No reason, Paige. It’s just that...

Good. Then this conversation is over. Let’s get in the car and get the hell out of this place. I need a shower bad. I reek.

I wasn’t going to argue with her on that one. I wasn’t sure how many days I had gone without a shower, so I had to smell ripe, too. A warm, soapy bath sounded wonderful right about now.

Paige pulled on the handle of the SUV and cussed when she realized it was locked. Alistair, are you going to unlock this car, or do I need to break a window?

He stomped out of the woods with a scowl. I’m coming. Woman, you’re going to be the death of me!

We wouldn’t have to listen to you bitch all the time then, would we?

I watched the banter between Alistair and Paige, totally enthralled. Paige may act as if she can’t stand the man, but her eyes said something different. The truth was right there in front of me - secret looks when she thought nobody was watching, he drove her crazy, and most of all was her total denial of attraction toward him. She wasn’t fooling me. Hell, I’d been there myself.

The car was unlocked with a beep, and Paige pointed for me to sit in the front seat as she took the back. She took out her phone, rooted around in her backpack, pulled out some headphones, and plugged them into her cell. With a glare towards Alistair, she shoved the earbuds into her ears and crossed her arms.

We edged forward out of the clearing and onto a rough, overgrown path. The Hummer bounced while barreling through the shrubs and saplings as though they were made of paper. Alistair pressed a few buttons on the stereo and the band Avenged Sevenfold blared through the speakers. His fingers tapped the steering wheel to the chime of the bells in the beginning of the song, and he turned, giving me a wink. When the double bass kicked in, he pounded on the wheel like a drummer, before turning the volume up to an almost unbearable level. The heavy metal guitar slashed and the quick drumbeats pounded the speakers, while the lead signer began his first words. He mouthed along with the lyrics, slightly nodding his head to the beat.

He kept glancing in the rearview mirror, watching Paige’s expression with a smirk. Maybe she didn’t like heavy metal, but he goaded her with it. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure what Alistair’s feelings were towards Paige. He had one hell of a poker face. She wasn’t kidding that he liked to push all of her buttons, though. It reminded me of little boys who picked on you when they actually liked you. Not any of my concern, I wasn’t playing matchmaker. I had my own problems to deal with. Besides, I couldn’t even get my own love life in order.

CHAPTER TWO

Wake up, sleepyhead.

A hand gently slapped my cheek, and I cracked my eyes open to see Paige. She started to lift her hand to slap my cheek again, and I grasped it before she could. If you do that one more time, I’ll slap back.

I suggest you wake your ass up then.

Paige, have I told you lately that you’re a bitch?

Yep. She grinned and patted my cheek again before shutting the car door.

I yawned, stretching my numb legs in the seat. Glancing through the tinted windshield, I saw a one-story motel. Paige leaned up against the orange door, swinging keys around her finger and tapping her foot impatiently. I exited the car, stomping my foot to relieve the pins and needles.

Glancing down, I noticed my stained tank with dried blood, mud, and grime from sleeping in the woods. My skin was marred with bruises and cuts, and my neck was tender when I moved it the wrong way. I’m not sure how much blood I’d lost, but I was surprised to be standing upright. That was most likely why Alistair had picked this hole in the wall motel. The establishment appeared to be one that didn’t ask questions and rented rooms by the hour.

Are you coming or not? I’m ready to take a damn shower. I have some spare clothes you can wear, too. But you’re not wearing my panties. You’ll have to go commando.

At the mention of a hot shower, I jumped into gear. Paige unlocked the door and let me inside. The stucco walls were a dingy white, an ugly flower printed comforter hung on the bed, and a small tube TV sat precariously on a dresser. I glanced at the bed and tried not to imagine what actually went on here behind closed doors. As long as it had a hot shower to wash this filth off me, I was good with it.

Where’s Alistair?

Making a phone call. Are you going first or am I? Paige said, pointing at the bathroom door.

I’m going. I’ll be quick.

No rush, Lily. I need to make a call first anyway.

She walked towards the parking lot with her cell phone plastered to her ear, pacing back and forth in front of the Hummer.

Once I made sure the door to the room was secure, I entered the bathroom, locked the door behind me, and started to gingerly strip. After throwing