To Ashes: The Secrets Series, #4

By Emma Shade

Paige Smith has powers that are both a blessing and a curse.

Haunted by her past, she tries to overcome her fears and conquer her abilities as she searches for a missing friend. What she didn't want was a distraction, but Alistair Ryder drives her insane with his good looks and icy emotions. They are complete opposites in every way except one, their stubborn and hardheaded mentality.

While they try to find their friend before it's too late, they both discover exactly how they feel about each other. But someone, or something, is keeping them apart.

And if attempts on their lives weren't bad enough, Paige discovers a secret about her past she never saw coming.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Emma Shade
• Release date: Sep 8, 2014
• ISBN: 9781502255518

Emma Shade

About the Author Emma lives in Indiana with her husband and three crazy cats. When she’s not busy writing her next novel, she enjoys spending time with family and friends, listening to music, taking naps, or curled up with a good book. Emma is a proud member of the Romance Writers of America. Would you like to learn more about upcoming books? You can find me online: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authoremmashade Website:  www.emmashadeauthor.com Twitter:  https://twitter.com/ShadeEmma   Finding Clarity, The Secrets Series #2 is available now!  Finding Lily, The Secrets Series #3 is available now!  To Ashes, The Secrets Series #4 (Spinoff) is coming soon!   

Book preview

PROLOGUE

PAIGE – AGE 15

The raging inferno engulfed the building as I ran.

The flames licked up the walls and swallowed them whole as though the fire itself was a starving monster.

As panicked screams infiltrated the air around me, the guilt ate at my soul. Everything had gotten out of control so quickly. It was only supposed to be a parlor trick to threaten the mean girl who was bullying me for being a redhead. A carrot top she’d called me. A freak. A loser.

What was an act to just light the candles in the room, ended up igniting the curtains and carpet instead. And with the terror from my mistake, the fire exploded and consumed the room in a few seconds flat.

Adults shouted, glass shattering as they unsuccessfully attempted to escape the raging hellhole. People I considered friends and fellow orphans cried out for help. Some trapped in their rooms, others imprisoned on the second floor. With no escape, some of the pleas slowly quieted as the blaze expanded and the fire snuffed out their existence. I sensed each and every death as a corrupt blemish on my soul.

Billowing black smoke filled by lungs and my eyes watered. Covering my mouth and nose with my shirt collar, I pushed my way through the hallway, only to be stopped by a wall of flames. My emotional stability only increased the firestorm, and charred remnants of the building collapsed around me.

I had to save my boyfriend, but there was no way to get to his room. The flames crackled as though taunting me because I was powerless to save the people I cared about. There was no way to rescue him. Just like I wasn’t able to save my parents and brother from the fiery hell I’d caused two years prior.

Lungs burning from smoke inhalation, I searched frantically for a way out. I dropped to my knees and crawled forward, trying to figure out my location in the orphanage.

I stood once I discovered my whereabouts and my legs propelled me toward the dining area off to the left. A large bank of windows opened to the trees surrounding the orphanage. All doors and exits were barred by walls of fire, and left without any other option, I hefted up one of the chairs and bashed it against one of the windows repeatedly. Peppered shards of glass nicked my exposed arms and legs as the window shattered. Tossing the chair to the side, I vaulted through the opening and on to the lawn.

I coughed the remaining smoke from my lungs and upchucked the dinner we’d had just an hour before. The air heaved in and out of my mouth as I tried to pull oxygen into my depraved body.

Avoiding my own vomit, I spilled to the side and spread out on the grass to stare up at what had been my third home in two years. This one, though, had been the one I actually enjoyed living in for the last a six months. Now it was gone.

Fire coiled out of the windows and dark plumes of smoke sailed into the night sky. I stared at the blaze enthralled. The flames appeared to dance and flicker with each beat of my heart, almost as if they were a part of me.

In a matter of minutes, my current home burnt to the ground, taking innocent lives with it. I hated that part. The part who loved to watch the fire take control and destroy everything in its path.

The monstrosity inside of me incinerated anyone or anything I loved. My parents and brother, my friends at the orphanage, and now my own soul. I was left with nothing but charred remains of who I was. No matter how much I loved to watch the flames, the fire was evil, ruining anything I ever cared about. That thing inside of me, the one I called a demon, reduced my life to ashes.

Sirens and flashing lights shattered my captivation with the fire, spurring my feet into motion. I ran. Ran away from the inferno swallowing the orphanage behind me. Ran away from the pain and anguish my life had become. And most of all, I ran from the power inside of me.

******

PAIGE – AGE 16

The raindrops splattered my dirty jeans, and I shivered from the cold. My stomach ached for its next meal.

I propped my leg up on the side of a dumpster and gagged at the rotten stench of garbage. Unable to ignore the gnawing pains in my gut any longer, I hoisted myself up and closer to the smell of decomposing food. Once situated, I rummaged for anything that wasn’t spoiled enough to eat. The rain increased, saturating my clothing and hair as I bent over the metal container.

Girl, what are you doing? a gruff male voice asked.

I spun toward the speaker and my foot slipped off the rain-soaked metal dumpster. Strong arms caught me before I landed on the dirt-stained alleyway. I shoved the arms away and wiped the drenched hair out of my face to glare at the man.

A bulk of a man stood in front of me, arms crossed. His eyebrow rose in the air as he took in my appearance.

Fear over his intentions, I turned to run, only to be propelled backwards as he snatched my arm. I kicked, screamed, and yanked on his hold.

Don’t you touch me, you sick son of a bitch! I spat at him.

He dropped his hold as if he suddenly understood my fear. Holding up his hands in surrender, he said, Whoa. I’m not going to hurt you.

I wasn’t sure what kept me rooted in place. The man might rape me for all I knew, but something held me back. Something told me to listen to what he had to say.

Are you going to arrest me for digging through the trash? Or call the cops? I sneered, and attempted to stand taller than my five-foot-one frame.

No, I’m not going to call the cops.

What do you want?

I saw a girl digging through the trash looking for food. A skinny girl, I might add. He sighed and shook his head. You look like you could use a warm meal. I’ll buy.

And what’s it to you? I’m not going to reward you with sex, I snapped, still untrusting of the guy.

He blinked in surprise as though the thought never occurred to him and such horrendous acts were unheard of. God, no. I would never ask that! Just trust me, okay? There’s a diner around the corner from here. I’ll buy you food and it’ll be a warm place for you to dry off.

I took the man in, eying his face in the faded light from the alleyway. The shadows obscured part of his face, just as it had his intentions. But my stomach rumbled at the mention of real food. It had been at least a week since I’d last eaten a full meal. Garbage wasn’t cutting it. And eventually, my stomach won out as I shivered from the cold rain.

Fine, but I’ll kill you if you try anything, asshole, I growled.

He held his hand out to lead the way and chuckled. Agreed.

As I followed him toward the diner, my thoughts wandered to the last man who tried to take advantage of me. The rapist bastard was burnt alive as he rolled off of me. He hadn’t known what hit him. Another life lost by my inner monster, even though he deserved it. Yet, the man in front of me was different. He was surprised that I mentioned the possibility of rape, and I wondered if he was honest about his intentions.

Once in front of the diner, the man stopped to inspect me one more time. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to help. You know that, right?

No, I don’t. But I’m too hungry to care.

When’s the last time you ate? he asked, eyebrows in the air.

Besides from a dumpster? I rolled my eyes when shock crossed his expression. I don’t remember.

Well, your life is about to change. I won’t let a teenage girl starve herself on the streets.

I snorted. This man had no clue what I was capable of. I won’t change for anyone. My life is fine the way it is. 

Yes, well, we’ll see.

To my surprise the man fed me a warm meal, watching me scarf it down as though I hadn’t tasted food in my entire life.

He attempted to make small talk, asking my age and how I ended up on the streets. I was evasive as possible and shrugged as I shoveled food in my mouth. He was kind, but annoying with his questions.

After we were finished eating, he asked, Where are you staying?

Any place that keeps me dry and halfway safe, I guess. There are too many crazy fuckers out there. I shrugged.

You have some pretty strong language for somebody so young, he stated with an eyebrow raised.

Life’s a bitch and so am I, I retorted, rolling my eyes. Besides, I have no other choice but to be this way.

Everyone has a choice, some just refuse to make the right one.

I blinked in surprise. With a sigh, I removed myself from the bench seat and he followed me back into the rain-soaked streets.

I swung toward him, narrowing my eyes in anger. What do you want?

I’m here to change your life. Like I said before. He smiled and held out his hand. I’m Jeremy Morrow.

My eyes still tapered in mistrust, I glared at his proffered hand. I wasn’t sure what to believe. This man didn’t attempt to hurt me, but there was still time.

Against my better judgment, I hesitantly placed my hand in his and said, Paige Smith.

******

PAIGE – AGE 18

This place was the epitome of boring.

Despite my reluctance, Jeremy had befriended me. He wasn’t a bad guy, and had even helped me obtain a job at the local diner we’d visited the first time I met him. Jeremy had made sure I got an education. High school was... interesting. I stayed away from the cliques and boys, keeping to myself. Otherwise I was afraid of what might happen after the orphanage. I was only a few snide comments away from the anger taking over and causing another catastrophe.

After putting me in an apartment for the school year, Jeremy offered me a place to stay at his camp in the middle of nowhere after graduation – even gave me my own cabin. Still, there was nothing to do in the wilderness. Jeremy was rarely around and I was left to my own devices.

That hadn’t kept me from destroying things, though. The diner had a devastating fire about six months in to my employment. And, yes, it was my fault. Luckily no lives were lost this time. But I still had burnt the owner’s dreams to the ground.

I think Jeremy knew about me and the destruction I left in my path. He asked about the orphanage and my family’s home after the diner incident. Apparently the man had done his research. But I remained tight-lipped for his safety – and mine.

Dropping the book I was reading to the floor with a thump, I sighed in frustration. Jeremy was on another secretive trip... again. He was gone more often than not.

Gah. My life sucks, I mumbled.

Tired of being holed up, I headed toward the kitchen in the large cabin at the center of camp. My feet crunched on the gravel pathway, birds chirped, and a hawk cawed overhead. Sometimes I wished I could speak with animals instead of fire. At least then I would’ve had company.

A sleek, black sports car pulled in, its tires popping over the gravel drive. I paused on the way to the kitchen, staring at the vehicle as it parked. Jeremy was due back any time now, but this wasn’t his car. Far from it, actually. Jeremy preferred bigger vehicles, like a Jeep.

Dark tinted windows obscured the driver or any passenger inside, and I froze in fear. What if this was the FBI? What if I was going to jail for killing innocent victims? What if they knew?

Hauling out a dagger I kept hidden in my jeans, I clenched my hands around the hilt. As a sort of standoff, the vehicle shut off and I waited with baited breath. My demon swelled to the surface, enticed by my fright. I swallowed back the rising sense of heat, and tried my best to shove the fire down to the depths of my soul.

Finally the driver’s side door opened and a masculine leg, clad in black boots and dark jeans, swung out. The man removed himself from the car. Time stood still.

Bright blue eyes stared back at me from the most handsome face I’d ever laid eyes on. After he closed the car door, I gulped as he strolled forward. Strong arms strained against his T-shirt, thick, muscular thighs bulged as he walked, and his jeans hung low on his hips. High masculine cheekbones emphasized his handsome face, a sharp jaw covered in a five o’clock shadow, and short, dark hair curled about his ears.

I never felt my heart beat skip for a man before. Ever. Not any of my past boyfriends, not any men I saw in magazines, or any celebrity crush I’d had. Whoever this man was, though, melted my insides like a popsicle on a hot, humid day.

He was mysteriously sexy. His swagger held confidence, as though he could walk into a room and take control of any situation. He towered over me, his height likely over six feet. I was caught up in the idea of this man taking control and slamming his mouth on mine. But that wasn’t going to happen. I wasn’t attractive enough for a man like him. And he was probably way too old for me anyway.

As he grew closer, his eyes swerved up and down my body, raking in my appearance. I suddenly wished I wasn’t dressed in holey, stained jeans, a raggedy T-shirt, and my hair in a messy ponytail. And I desperately wished I’d showered earlier.

His deep voice rolled over my body as he spoke. You Paige?

I nodded slowly, totally enraptured. Words clogged in my throat, my tongue like lead.

Jeremy back yet? he asked.

I stared at him like a lovesick schoolgirl, my heart thundering in my chest. I opened my mouth to answer him, but nothing came out.

Eyes swerving to the dagger in my hands, he smirked. I lost any sense of reality as his mouth curved up in that delectable smirk. I zeroed in on those full, kissable lips.

You can put the dagger away, Red. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m a friend of Jeremy’s.

At him calling me Red, all semblance of my trance disappeared in an instant. I growled, He’s not home. And don’t fucking call me that.

His smirk grew into a full-fledged smile. Whatever you say, Red.

I scowled at him, tucked the dagger back in my waistband, and placed my hands on my hips. Seriously, don’t call me that. I hate it. How do you know Jeremy?

Scanning my appearance one more time, he said, Red, I can call you whatever the hell I want, and there’s nothing you can do about it. And to answer your question, I work with Jeremy.

How do I know you aren’t lying?

You don’t, he said with a shrug.

I scoffed. Great way to gain some trust there, asshole. I could always make you leave, you know.

This time he laughed. I highly doubt it. But I’d like to see you try.

Who the fuck are you?

A smile still flirted along his lips, as if he was still laughing at me on the inside. He held out his hand in introduction. Name’s Alistair.

And out of curiosity, I placed my hand in his. The prickle that quaked within my body caught me off guard, and I stumbled. My blood seared a path straight down to my soul. The phenomenon I identified as my demon roused with awareness, but for the first time in my life, it remained just under the surface. I knew from that moment on, whoever this Alistair guy was, my life was never going to be the same.

CHAPTER ONE

PAIGE – Current Day

I sat in the passenger seat of Alistair’s Hummer, music blasting through my earbuds. Mostly to drown out the pounding, heavy metal beating through the speakers of the vehicle, but also to drown out the feeling of awareness around Alistair.

Why hadn’t Sam gone instead?

We were on our way to search for our missing friend, Carlotta Brown. Her husband, and backstabbing murderer, sent his wife to only God knows where after she found out his plans for vampire domination. Jeffery Brown was behind several attacks against my friend Lily Canton. Unfortunately, I had killed the bastard so we couldn’t ask him where Carlotta was.

When I decided to take this journey, I had asked two people to accompany me on the search. Between Sam Arbor, Lily’s best friend, and the man sitting beside me, I got stuck with the second.

As the drum beats from Alistair’s music vibrated my seat, I stared out the passenger window in thought.

Jeremy Morrow had saved my life. He took me in when I was at my lowest. After learning of my ability, and after I’d scorched yet another building which took more innocent lives, he took me under his wing and taught me how to mostly control my ability.

I never asked why he hadn’t questioned my ability, or how he knew how to control it. I only assumed that his involvement in his secret missions were the reason. For four years he worked with me, fire extinguisher always nearby. Alistair made appearances here and there, always tempting me with his enigmatic smile. To my surprise, he had been fully aware I was different. Just not what my supernatural ability was until Jeremy let him watch a training session.

My mentor and savior was almost like a father to me. He made sure I had a meal on the table, clothes on my back, and never let anyone bully me for being different. Whether it was because of my coppery red hair or my snarky attitude, I always seemed to find trouble. Not that I had run in circles with people then. Less people to burn alive that way.

Not too long ago, we had uncovered that Jeremy was involved in a scandal that rocked our world. My friend, Lily, was hunted for her unique lineage, half vampire and half conjurer. Jeremy was supposedly coerced into following along with a plan to kill Lily. However, he had spun a doubtful story once we’d found out that Jeffery, Carlotta’s husband, was behind the whole scheme. His reason? A supposed son that he wanted to protect. A son I never knew existed, and wasn’t sure was even real. But, there was no way to ask Jeremy about the corruption now. Just like most people in my past, he too was dead.

The betrayal of what Jeremy had done ate at me. He’d fooled us all. No matter his intentions, it broke my heart. The same man who took me in, the man who was the strongest willed person I knew besides Alistair, had succumbed to blackmail and treachery.

The only constant left in my life sat beside me. For eleven years, Alistair had remained a part of my life throughout my training and until now. Sure, we both disappeared for missions now and again, but he came to my home after his were over. Usually at a distance, yes, but he was there. He had run with me on rare occasions, pushing the limits as I fought to keep up with his vampire speed. I missed those days. Life was so simple.

Our first assignment together was the one that protected Lily. And I discovered pretty quickly that Alistair and I worked about as well together as fire and ice – pun intended. I was able to control fire, and well, Alistair’s personality was just icy.

An earbud popped out of my ear, dragging me out of my thoughts. I was met with muted heavy metal music. I turned to face Alistair clasping said earbud.

Narrowing my eyes, I growled, What did you do that for?

Do you know where we’re going first? he asked, flicking the headphone back in my direction. It smacked me in the face, and he chuckled.

I scowled at his smile, and said, I assume Jeffery’s residence in Indianapolis first. It’s a longshot, sure, but worth a try. And it’s close.

He nodded in agreement. I take it you got all his estate locations from Ashton’s database?

Yep.

With permission?

I hesitated, and then beamed at him. Nope.

Shaking his head, Alistair strummed his fingers on the steering wheel. After a minute or two of silence, he said, I’m sorry about Jeremy.

Choking back the ache of loss and betrayal, I shrugged. Nothing to apologize for. You reap what you sow.

You know you don’t mean that. Jeremy meant a lot more to you than you let on.

He was never around, except for my training. I wasn’t able to get too attached to somebody who was never there, I lied. Jeremy meant a great deal to me, and I felt his loss as a dull ache on my heart. Although the pain of his deceit overshadowed it.

You’re a horrible liar, Red, Alistair whispered.

It doesn’t matter. And quit calling me ‘Red’, dammit. You know how I hate it.

Alistair’s mouth tripped up in to a grin. Whatever you say... Red.

With a chuckle, he hit a few buttons on his stereo, and loud, heavy metal pounded through the sound system.

He thumped his hands on the steering wheel to the thrashing drum beats, and I rolled my eyes, plugging my earbuds back in to drown out his annoying taste in music.

Alistair nailed my feelings on the head. Sometimes his stony exterior crumbled and compassion snuck through, showing me a side of Alistair rarely seen. But just as quickly as it revealed itself, hard-hearted Alistair was back in an instant.

Yet, I wondered what his past held and why he valued indifference. But I especially planned to discover how he knew Blake’s sister, Leslie. Blake Moore was there on our first assignment together. A powerful conjurer, like me, was rare in our world. He had fallen for Lily, and from recent events from his past and the conjurer assassins after Lily, we’d discovered he was actually conjurer royalty. However, when his sister showed up, Alistair’s rage swelled to the surface at her arrival. Alistair was not too happy to find out who she was. It was the only woman I knew he was familiar with besides me. Jealousy was not a feeling that sat well with me, even though I’d never admit it. It roused the fire-breathing demon to a whole new level. And that scared the shit out of me.

******

How are we going to get in? Alistair asked, scanning the large expanse of Jeffery and Carlotta’s home.

I searched the ground, located a large rock in the landscaping about the size of my palm, and pitched it toward the huge picture window near the front entrance. It shattered. I said, Like that.

Alistair narrowed his eyes, and grunted, And if they have a security system?

I laughed, kicked the rest of the glass away with my boot, and carefully swung my leg inside the house over the broken glass. Turning back to Alistair, I grinned, and said, Then we better fucking hurry.

He growled, You’re going to be the death of me, Red.

Once inside, I poked my head back out of the window. Nah. You won’t go down without a fight.

He mumbled something indecipherable under his breath, but stepped over the window and joined me inside.

Two huge crystal chandeliers were suspended from a ceiling with elegant hand-carved molding. The walls were painted in a dusty blue, and