Finding Lily: The Secrets Series, #3

By Emma Shade

Lily Canton left everything behind the day she lost someone she loved.

She joined a group of renegades to keep her mind off her broken heart and shattered life. With the help of Paige, she might finally figure out her powers. Yet, Lily doesn't know the full details of the secrets withheld from her the day she left.  Ashton believes his deception caused Lily's departure, and Blake's using it to his advantage. If he can find her first and keep his big secret hidden, that is.

She's on the run from her past, but it's about to catch up to her.

 Lily will finally have to choose between the two men who love her, or give them both up for good.

Neither choice will be easy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Emma Shade
• Release date: Jul 25, 2014
• ISBN: 9781501452239

Emma Shade

About the Author Emma lives in Indiana with her husband and three crazy cats. When she’s not busy writing her next novel, she enjoys spending time with family and friends, listening to music, taking naps, or curled up with a good book. Emma is a proud member of the Romance Writers of America. Would you like to learn more about upcoming books? You can find me online: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authoremmashade Website:  www.emmashadeauthor.com Twitter:  https://twitter.com/ShadeEmma   Finding Clarity, The Secrets Series #2 is available now!  Finding Lily, The Secrets Series #3 is available now!  To Ashes, The Secrets Series #4 (Spinoff) is coming soon!   

Book preview

PROLOGUE

ASHTON

Being a vampire really sucked from time to time.

Especially for Sam. He sat across from me at the kitchen table, face scrunched up in revulsion. His disgust with drinking blood and the fact he became lightheaded at the sight of it was problematic. I didn’t like it either, but it’s part of the job requirement for a vampire. Okay, yeah, I lied. Every time I consumed the thick, crimson liquid, it was like water to a man lost in a scorching desert. Sam, however, wanted to fight me tooth and nail about drinking the stuff. It drove me crazy. Almost enough to question why I changed him in the first place.

After the nurse unhooked his life support machines, and before his parents arrived, Jeffery, Carlotta, and I slipped Sam out of the hospital. It didn’t hurt that the vampires on staff at the hospital were more than willing to assist us. Within minutes, we had Sam out, down the staff elevators, through the parking garage, and loaded into the car. The rest was history.

Of course, times had changed over the last hundred years. The police questioned everyone on site and Sam was now the proud owner of a missing person’s report. A man doesn’t disappear this day and age. Especially from a hospital. We laid low for a while, but I had to constantly reiterate to Sam that a man on his death bed doesn’t walk around a week or two after disappearing to go to the mall. Thank God for online shopping.

We took up residence in my home just north of Indianapolis, waiting for some sign of Liliana. We had hacked the security feed from both the hospital and the closest traffic lights, but all we got was a grainy footage of them loading into Alistair’s Hummer and driving away towards the interstate. After sending Carlotta and Jeffery on a wild goose chase all around the world, I started to doubt we’d ever locate her. Something had to give. Even Blake hung around, waiting on any clue regarding her whereabouts. The infuriating ass drove me up the wall.

Regardless, I was glad to have his help as well as the help of friends who wanted to find her just as much as I had. Glancing at Sam, the biggest supporter of them all, I hid a smile behind my hand. He stared into the liquid as though he willed it to be wine.

Frowning into his mug, Sam said, Can’t we put this in a cup with a lid? Maybe a straw so I can’t see the blood? They have neat plastic cups you can wash now. Maybe one of those cool twisty straws would make it easier to drink.

I’ll think about getting a cup. Quit fighting it, though. It’s not making this any easier, Sam.

He grumbled, I just keep picturing those people missing all over the news.

I sighed in frustration. You have to get over it. This is part of who we are.

Is the blood from an animal or a human? You aren’t going to tell me, are you? If I knew this came from maybe a cow, named Bess or something, it might make me feel better.

Shit, Sam, I grumbled, you have to drink the stuff, so get on with it. I even warmed it up for you.

Speaking of warming it up. Do you guys use tampons and stuff to make a vampire version of tea?

I choked. "What?!"

You always hear the jokes about vampires and tampons, so I assumed there might me some truth to it. He shrugged.

Hell, no. That’s disgusting! Why on earth would you think that’s a real thing?

Sam chuckled. Oh, you know how rumors are. But glad to clear the air. That’s bugged me from the moment I woke up after changing.

Good heavens, Sam. The things that you come up.  You surprise me on a daily basis, I said and pointed at his cup. Now, drink the rest of that so we can actually accomplish something today.

Rolling his eyes, he groaned, "Gah. It’s just so...gross! The sight of blood alone makes me queasy, but the fact I have to drink the stuff is even worse. I mean, it came from something alive."

You were the one who wanted to be changed if anything happened. Remember? This is part of it. What did you think vampires drank to survive? Tomato juice? Would you like some vodka and a celery stick?

I don’t know. Tomato juice would make things much easier. A bloody Mary, even better. Wait...maybe not a bloody Mary. Sam shuddered. I mean, this tastes good and all, but it’s so thick...chocolate milkshake, chocolate milkshake, Sam said as he tried to force himself to take another drink.

Smacking my forehead, I grated my teeth. I was really trying for patience here. Sam, you have to drink it. There’s no way around it. All you’re doing is fighting the inevitable.

Like the flip of a switch, his mood shifted. Sam’s narrowed blue eyes raised to mine, his pupils dilated. Do you even remember how hard it was for you? I have all these weird urges that I can’t comprehend. People no longer seem like average humans, but tasty morsels. My vision and hearing increased tenfold, so it sounds like I’m sitting in the front row of a rock concert every day. I can feel other people’s emotions, like you being irritated at me right now. My stupid fangs break through when I’m the least bit angry, and now I have to drink blood to survive. So before you get all pissy, think about that for a minute. You seriously need to learn some patience.

Running a hand over my face, I sighed. I know. I’m sorry. I’m on edge too. It’s been two months and we haven’t gotten any closer to finding Liliana. I’m going insane. You’re just adding to that madness.

Well, from what I’ve gathered, Ashton, you were a complete ass. So was Blake, who by the way, is still as mad as a hornet at us for keeping the plan a secret from him. But we can’t change the past. The best we can do is learn from those mistakes and find Lily. I want her back home, too. Not out there someplace thinking I’m dead.

Me too, Sam. Me too. None of us expected her to run.

After closing his eyes and taking a gulp of blood with a sour face, Sam shook his head. I knew she would. That’s Lily. Even though she’s stronger than she gives herself credit for, her heart was still broken. She ran because she’s afraid of losing the people she loves. That’s how she copes. Instead of learning to be stronger through adversity, she pushes her emotions and the people who make her feel them away. But once she knows I’m alive, it’ll be okay. And I’ll strangle her for leaving.

I chuckled sarcastically. Be real here, Sam. You know she’s going to be pissed at both of us for keeping this from her. If anything I’ve learned after living for a few centuries, is that people never react the way you think. Memories may fade, or people may tuck them away in the dark recessed of their minds, but they never truly forget the way you made them feel.

That may be. Sam grinned. "When we find her, and we will find her, I suggest that we all let her know just how she made us feel. Then I’ll strangle her for leaving."

CHAPTER ONE

LILY

Spread out on the grass, air pumped in and out of my lungs from exertion. Part of my training included running. I hated running. The only time I thought it appropriate was if you were chased by some crazy lunatic. Even then, it was iffy. "Exercise is important to your survival," Jeremy had said. Screw Jeremy.

Leaning against the tree beside me, Alistair’s eyes twinkled with amusement. We just dashed through the woods, Alistair screaming at me like a drill sergeant to maintain my pace with his quick movements. I wasn’t able to keep up, but I tried my best, which is why I laid in the grass covered in sweat. Of course Alistair never showed any sign of exhaustion during our sprint through the woods. Damn vampires.

Don’t get me wrong, I thought exercise and staying healthy was important, but it wasn’t my idea of a good time. Hence why I hated running. The first part of my training was strength and endurance. And learning the vampire side of life. It wasn’t pretty no matter who tried to convince me otherwise. There was no sparkling in the sunlight in this world of vampires.

Jeremy Morrow, Paige and Alistair’s boss, offered me a chance to start over. By working for this elusive group, I’d stay hidden and keep the people I love safe. Plus, I hadn’t had to suffer through watching Sam take his last breath.

Conrad Steele, the epitome of my nightmares, took my best friend’s life without an ounce of regret. After a short hospital stay on life support, the doctor said he would live off machines again or his parents would pull the plug. That’s when I ran. I couldn’t watch him die or put more lives at risk. Despite the fact I doubted I made the right decision, there was no going back. This group of people kept others in line. Sort of like the police or FBI of the supernatural world.

Even after I murdered Con with supernatural energy, my powers wouldn’t fully cooperate. In spite of everything, Jeremy still wanted me to take the job. But I wasn’t sure if Paige and Alistair felt the same. They knew I’d loved Ashton and Blake, and it’s as if they recognized my decision to leave would cause more pain than ease my grief. But that was neither here nor there. It was too late to change my mind. I was here to stay.  

In the wee morning hours, I spent time hiking, weapons training, and tried to outrun Alistair. He’d learned every single trick I attempted to pull on him. He was quick to catch on with my attempts to climb trees, swim in the creek, or even hide myself under rotten logs. Eventually he forced me to run, hoping I’d eventually gain vampire speed.

The evening hours were spent with Paige, even though sometimes I’d rather jog than learn the conjurer side of things. Paige was a stickler. If I didn’t get it right, I’d be dragged through the training all over again. One thing she taught me, if anything, was how to block Blake from entering my dreams. I’d gladly put up with her bitchiness if it meant I wouldn’t have to face him.

Alistair stretched a few times, dragging my attention back to him, and said, You’re getting better. I’ll give you that. Even though you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, or so they say, you’ve kept me on my toes.

Staring at Alistair from the ground, I smirked. Yeah, well, since we’re throwing around idioms, I think I bit off more than I can chew.

He chuckled with a shrug. Well, keep your chin up. I’m going to let you get a break for now. Paige should be out here shortly.

I can’t wait, I derided, but to his retreating back.

It was two weeks since we left Indianapolis and ended up in a remote location in Vermont. To be honest, training with Alistair every day sucked. He reminded me of Ashton, his brother. One of the men I left behind to start over. At first it was painful, but then I learned to focus on the differences between the two of them. A slightly crooked nose, his mannerisms, and most of all, his attitude. Where Ashton was warm and concerned, Alistair was cold and aloof.

After taking a lunch break, I propped myself up against a tree to watch birds take flight and swirl through the sky in random formations. Summer was just around the corner and the heat crept in as though it were a thief in the night.

I sipped the water from a bottle and sighed. My friend, Sam, was fatally stabbed by a man who could give the Devil a run for his money. The bastard was dead now, thanks to me, but it still stung. After Ashton and Blake pushed me away, I disappeared. I’d grown stronger for the most part and learned to push past the loss of Sam. But, then again, grief is a funny thing. Just when I thought I was doing so much better, the sorrow slithered right back in for a while. I missed Sam. Sometimes I wondered if he was buried with an elaborate affair. It would’ve suited him.

Luckily I didn’t have to worry about it for long. Paige whipped out from behind the tree and held a knife at my throat. My training with her had begun. I froze and if looks could kill, she’d be dead.

Paige removed the knife from my jugular and grumbled, Well, I’m glad you defended yourself, Lily. What if I’d been some lunatic out to kill you?

Please, Paige. We’re in the middle of nowhere. Unless you’re a character from a horror movie, I highly doubt I’m in danger. Besides, this sneaking up on me and trying to catch me off guard isn’t working anymore.

Through narrowed eyes, she snorted. "I have been told I’m a stark raving lunatic. Anyway, just because you’re not in danger right now, doesn’t mean that you won’t ever be again. You know that as much as I do."

Fine. What do you want to work on today?

I think that we should work on your little electrical powers.

I laughed, and said, Like that would really help. I still can’t figure out how to make it work when I need it to. We’ve been over this how many times now?

You just need a little encouragement, Paige replied and snatched my wrists in her hands.

Heat began to intensify where her fingers touched my skin. What are you doing?

Motivation. I’m not going to let go until you make me, she said, her eyes lit with mischief.

Are you insane?! I shrieked and tried to rip my wrists free. Paige’s hold was like iron. Pain blossomed through my wrists as though I held them in an open flame. Let go, Paige!

Make me, Lily, she demanded and shook my wrists in her hands.

The searing burn spread down my palms and into my fingers. God, it hurt. I cried out in pain. Paige had lost her freaking mind. The supernatural energy rushed through my body as the scorched skin on my wrists began to swelter with agony. All I felt was the pain and my body wanted to protect itself. My skin crackled as sparks and electrical shoots crawled down my limbs towards Paige’s hands. When they connected, a crack rent the air. She soared midair as though an explosion detonated and landed a few feet away.

Hands flew to my mouth in shock. I’m so sorry! Are you okay?

Paige groaned and raked her hands over her face. She nodded. I’m fine. Holy shit, that was some crazy assed power you had going there. I wasn’t prepared for that at all.

Well, you were burning me! I reasoned, pointing to one of my wrists that was bright red and blistered.

I guess we figured out that between the fight or flight response, you have a little more fight than I expected. That’s good. We can play off that instead of emotions. I don’t like emotions anyway. They’re messy.

Are you going to burn me every single time we start our exercises? I don’t think that’s going to teach me anything, other than you’re a crazy bitch.

Paige snickered. "Nah. I got some other ideas in mind. I don’t feel like being shocked every day. I’m not that crazy."

And she spoke the truth, but not about her being crazy. She was bat-shit insane. Paige corralled me into a circle of fire and asked me to escape. She held me down and hit me repeatedly on the arms. And believe it or not, she actually cut me with her knife at one point. Nothing fatal, far from it actually, but it still had hurt like hell. Over and over again we acted out different scenarios until I was able to focus enough to use my internal powers without emotional or physical pain.

This continued every single day after Alistair grappled with me, working on self-defense and weapons training. To say I was worn out would be an understatement of the century. I had more bruises than an old rotten banana. But I felt more confident than ever. Not only was I able to slam down a wall inside my head to keep out unwanted dreams and mental assailants, but could defend myself if necessary. Now, if I could keep everything together when we traveled on our first assignment...that would be a miracle.

*****

After a two months of arduous training, Paige and I were on our first assignment. Las Vegas, Nevada is an adult playground. Casinos line the strip and begged you to come in to gamble. Millions of big, flashy lights illuminate the night sky. The Bellagio fountains rumble like fireworks as they shot arcs of water into the air. Vegas show girls posed for pictures in front of casinos, and on the edges of the strip men snapped escort cards together to get your attention, hoping you’ll snatch up the advertisements. Beautiful women and men, dressed to the nines, strolled the strip looking for their next adventure. Tourists snap pictures and gawked at the sights, holding their alcoholic beverages in hand.

Drinking in public and carting drinks on the sidewalk was odd to me, because it was frowned upon in Indiana. Nonetheless, alcohol booths sprout up to line the strip with talented bartenders. Gawking at one now throwing the bottle in the air with an amazing spiral, I pictured Sam in his place doing the same.

I pushed back the thoughts of Sam and everything out of my mind. I missed him like crazy, but ignoring the memories of my best friend’s death and everyone I left behind alleviated the pain. Well, that, and consuming an enormous amount of alcohol helped too.

Two days ago, Paige and I boarded a plane to Las Vegas, Nevada for our first mission together. Supposedly a vampire who owned a small casino, broke the rules by making his progenies into escorts. That’s not the problem. The problem was this man took the suitors forcing them into an illegal blood trade. Who knew that specific types of blood would be sought after by certain clientele? From the way Paige explained it, it’s similar to the drug and prostitution rings. A vampire using humans against their will? I know, cliché. To top it all off, the guy even kidnapped men and woman to make them into his little blood sucking whores. A vampire pimp. The humor was not lost on me.

Paige spoke to a tall man on the edge of the sidewalk. She’d dressed the part for sin city. Her coppery, red hair straightened to fall below her shoulders, a short black mini skirt, black leather high heeled boots, and a tight black lace top showing her midriff. The man she conversed with wore a black suit and tie, eyes roaming her body. His long, dark hair reflected the lights around us. The vampire we searched for was spotted in the limo this man drove tonight. Luckily, he’d gotten away with his life. Unluckily, he had to deal with Paige.

So you didn’t see anything out of the ordinary? Pfft. You expect me to believe the shit spewing out of your mouth? Paige put a hand on her hip and huffed, You’re lying.

The limo driver held up his hands. Hey, crazy lady, I didn’t see nothing. The partition was up the whole time. A man got in, asked me to drive to pick up some friends, and then two men and a woman got in. I dropped them off a few blocks from here. They gave me a huge tip. That’s all I know. Okay?

Whatever. Get the hell out of here, you piece of shit.

The guy’s eyes focused on Paige’s breasts, his feet scuffing back and forth on the sidewalk. Say, what are you up to later? I could take you for a ride in the limo.

Eyebrows raised, she sneered, "I’m not interested in any kind of a ride you’d offer. Now, or ever."

Bitch, he mumbled. Getting back into the sleek black limo, he slammed the door and swerved away from the curb.

I’ll show you a bitch! Paige screamed, flipping off the retreating tail lights.

I think he’s gone now.

I should’ve kicked his ass. But no-o-oo, you wanted to keep it civilized.

Paige, don’t start. You’re already getting on my nerves and the night just started.

Shaking her head, Paige started in the direction of our hotel. We aren’t getting anywhere like this. Hell, we don’t even know what the guy looks like besides a vague description from Jeremy.

I scrambled to keep up with her. So what do we do now?

We need bait. She stopped suddenly, forcing me to stumble into her back. That’s it. We’re grabbing some of those dirty cards from the guys along the strip. Then start calling them to see if the escorts would be willing to date a woman. Maybe this guy will show up.

Paige, more than likely they’d do anything for the right amount of money. With hundreds of escort companies, we’d be searching for weeks. That’s not going to work. We need to spend some time in the casinos this guy supposedly owns.

That’s it! Paige cried, spinning around to grab my shoulders. Jeremy gave us unlimited funds while we’re here. We need to drop some cash like a high roller. That’ll get the owners attention.

A mischievous grin split my face. The plan hadn’t sounded half bad. Are you saying we blow Jeremy’s money on gambling and drinking?

That’s exactly what I’m saying. He did say use whatever means necessary, right?

Laughing, I grabbed her arm to drag her towards the first casino. Let’s withdraw some money and gamble.

*****

After a ginormous amount of money was transferred and withdrawn, we made our way to Luxor first. Sphinx and Egyptian pharaoh statues lined the entrance. Slot machines whistled, chimed, and beckoned gamblers to insert just one more dollar. Waitresses walked around in scantily clad outfits, tray in hand, offering to fetch drinks. Multiple conversations buzzed around us in a dull roar, blending in with the sound of laughter and poker chips clinking on nearby tables.

Unfortunately, even with the glitz and glam of Vegas, I sucked at gambling. Sitting down at the slot machines, after giving up on blackjack, I slid in a hundred dollar bill into Lucky Duck slots.

You suck at cards, Paige said, sitting on the leather seat beside me.

Yeah, no shit. Hoping my luck at slots isn’t as bad.

She placed our drink order with the waitress, and slid a twenty in the machine next to mine. Apparently the guy doesn’t own Luxor. Where to after this round of drinks?

Not a clue. I shrugged, pressed max bet, and watched the colorful clovers, diamonds, and ducks rotate on the screen. 

There are four hotels this guy could potentially own. He can’t own one of the well-known casinos. The vampire is way too dicey to run the high end places. It has to be the two on the outskirts of the strip.

That leaves Desert Sands and Indigo. So where to first? I asked, pressed the button, and hoped this time I might see some sort of winnings.

Paige winked, and replied, First we get slobbery drunk, hit a dance club, and worry about it tomorrow.

I sighed in exasperation. No matter how much I protested, she’d drag me along with her plan. The last thing I wanted to do was go to a dance club. It would just remind me of home.

CHAPTER TWO

The next morning, I woke with one hell of a hangover. Paige snored in the queen-sized bed beside mine. True to her word, we partied like rock stars last night. After downing shot after shot, I hadn’t remembered much of the night. Just flashes here and there. The club wasn’t much different than Ashton’s except for the location and clientele. Seeing something that reminded me of my past resulted in way too much alcohol consumption. I was paying the piper now.

Crawling out of bed, I stumbled to the bathroom still dressed in last night’s clothes. The reflection stared back at me in the mirror exposed baggy eyes, smeared makeup, and a pale face. I used the facilities, trying my best not to empty my stomach in the tiny hotel trash can beside the toilet as I peed.

God, I need to stop drinking, I groaned, laying my head on the cool tile wall next to the toilet.

No you don’t. I love drunk Lily, Paige said, propped up against the doorjamb.

Paige! Trying to cover what may be on display from the toilet, I stared at her open mouthed. Don’t you give anyone privacy?

She shrugged, walked into the restroom to use the mirror, and removed the crusted mascara under her eyes with her finger. You should’ve closed the door.

Can you at least give me two minutes to wipe?

Two minutes, Paige replied, tapping her watch. We’ve got to get a move on if we’re going to check out those casinos today.

I need to shower before... But I hadn’t been able to finish my sentence. She’d already travelled out the bathroom and closed the door.

If anyone could test my patience, it was Paige. The redhead knew every single button to press to make me batty. Especially when she voiced her opinion about my decision to leave everything and everyone behind. At least I had my cat Jinx, even if I couldn’t be with him. The furry shit lived the highlife in our apartment, and we’d even hired a cat sitter. How crazy is that?

We’d rented an apartment in San Diego under aliases. My credit cards, debit cards, and ID were back in the apartment under lock and key. Currently, I only had my identification under my new name. Which I hated. Paige had her say in my fake name and I could’ve killed her.

At least I got a few days break before we left. Now, even though I really do love Paige, we’re stuck in Las Vegas for who knows how long. And to top it all off, I hadn’t been able to push out everyone I left behind, no matter how much alcohol I poured into my mouth. Ashton, Blake, and Carlotta flashed through occasionally. Of course, Sam’s death replayed in my head like a broken record.

*****

Showered and clean, Paige and I ate breakfast in a hurry. By the time we hit the strip, it was already late afternoon.

Dressed in ripped skinny jeans tucked into knee high boots and a provocative top, I trailed beside Paige. Sunglasses covering my aching eyes, I squinted against the bright sunlight. My boots clacked against the concrete as we walked, each step resonating inside my eardrums, which still rang from the deafening music from last night.

Honestly, I don’t know what she expected to find in the middle of the day. But just because vampires could come out at any time, hadn’t meant this guy would. Casinos were the busiest at night. Vampires, just like humans, needed sleep too. Just not as much.

Paige, I asked, "what are we expecting to find here?

She narrowed her eyes, and said with a hushed tone, You need to start using our fake names in public. You don’t know who could be around that knew our names. Besides, we are in one of the most popular cities in the world. If anyone spots one of us, we’re in trouble. Don’t you know the meaning of undercover?

Please, like anyone who knows our names wouldn’t recognize us anyway. We’ve been gone for about two months. I doubt they would even know where to start.

I know you’re not that dense. Be real. 

Pulling a face at her, I muttered, Good Lord, they couldn’t even find Alistair. 

That may be. However, I’m pretty sure Alistair traveled out of the country for a very long time. He hadn’t reappeared until several years after Jeremy discovered me. Just don’t discount the cunning nature of Ashton and Blake. I promise you that Ashton has a hunting party out looking for you right now. Blake’s probably helping anyway he can.

I frowned. Why would you think that? They probably hate me for leaving. Besides, I doubt they’d figure out where we are anyway.

Paige shook her head with a laugh. Do you forget who Ashton is? He’s the fucking leader over the vampires in the United States. Or did you forget that? Ashton’s got eyes all over.

I stopped in my tracks with a shocked gasp. I had forgotten about that. He never seemed to be controlling anyone, though. Ashton, to me, owned a dance club and wanted to be my vampire version of a husband. Ashton, when angry, was a force to be reckoned with, and he had to be downright pissed that I left. When somebody is desperate enough, they’ll use any means necessary to