Sacred Wind: The Appendices

By Andy Coffey

‘Sometimes there are tales that must be told, songs that must be sung, and farts that must be farted. And sometimes the spirit of these great adventures, heroic deeds, songs of glory, and flatulent blessings is powerful enough to touch the hearts, ears and nostrils of the Gods. And so it is with Sacred Wind.

Certainly I know that I, King Beef Vindaloo-Boiled Rice III, puff my rice with pride and thicken my sauce when I recount the adventures of the Companionship of Wind. How a stranger from beyond distance and beyond time (a lad called Aiden Peersey, from your reality) joined Sacred Wind in their quest to win the Cestrian Music Tournament, to save the faerie queen, to win freedom for our land, to be able to fart freely, and to win the right to their cheese. It is the stuff of legend. And sometimes the Gods decree that such legends need to be manifest in the entire Multiverse... although not necessarily the smells.

However, even though this most splendid tale has been told in the marvellous Sacred Wind books 1, 2 & 3, there are other tales that need telling. And so a series of historical appendices has been commissioned by none other than Odin himself. You have here the first four of these enlightening pieces of literature, with more to follow. So read with pride, my friends... and if you feel the need to have a small fart at any time, know that it will cause pleasure to many.

May your rice be forever fluffy, may your poppadoms be crisp, may your curry be hot, and may Odin bless your wind.

King Beef Vindaloo-Boiled Rice III.’

• Language: English
• Publisher: Andy Coffey
• Release date: Jul 18, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311317193

Andy Coffey

About the Author – by Oldfart OlafsonAndy Coffey has been called many things; short, bald, barking mad, cute, a creative genius (... actually, I think he calls himself that). But, it is true to say that without Andy, Sacred Wind may never have made it into your particular reality. And we thank him for that.After a brief foray into music journalism, and an attempt at rock superstardom in the late eighties, Andy eventually carved out a successful career in something called 'IT' for the best part of twenty years, attaining a Senior Management position in a company dealing with software production and IT service management. He tells me that he was a bit of a guru, by all accounts.However, the music bug never really left him, and in fact he recorded two albums with his band, 'The Quest', in the nineties (he tells me that the second one was really good). Oh, he plays drums, and apparently his drum kit is nearly as big as Agnar's.He also developed an interest in music technology and composition. This initially caused him some confusion as he had to learn to play keyboards, discovering that hitting them with drumsticks didn't really achieve the desired results... and was more expensive.We first managed to cross the dimensional barrier to communicate with Andy about Sacred Wind in late 2010 (your time). Having voices in his head was a bit of a shock for him at first, but he soon got used to it. So, after working with him closely for over three years, he's now produced the Sacred Wind books and debut album, for reading and listening pleasure in your reality.He lives with his partner, Jo, and their cat (Theo) in a little town called Frodsham, in the UK. Apparently they can fart whenever and wherever they like. He has a son, Adam; a step-daughter, Zoë, and a step-son, Johnny.He's a good lad but he needs a bigger weapon... (that pocket knife will never do).Yours fartily,Oldfart Olafson (Manager - Sacred Wind)

Book preview

Sacred Wind – The Appendices

Copyright © Andy Coffey 2014

The right of Andy Coffey to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright Designs and Patent Act 1988.

All characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Smashwords Edition

ISBN: 9781311317193

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Illustrations by Joe Latham [e-mail]

Copyright © Joe Latham 2014

Other books by Andy Coffey

Sacred Wind: Book 1

Sacred Wind: Book 2

Sacred Wind: Book 3

Sacred Wind: The Complete Trilogy

Sacred Wind: Songbook

Sacred Wind – The Album

Possibly the finest debut album by a Welsh Viking Flatulence Rock band from an alternative reality… Available at all good download stores!

www.sacredwind.co.uk

Table of Contents

Introduction

Appendix 1 – A Quick Guide to Quantum Computing

Appendix 2 – The Bi-Millennial Deity Conference

Appendix 3 – The Frothy Ale Tsunami of ‘87

Appendix 4 – History of the Cestrian Music Tournament

About the Author – by Oldfart Olafson

Other books by Andy Coffey

Contact Sacred Wind

Introduction

‘Sometimes there are tales that must be told, songs that must be sung, and farts that must be farted.