Writing About Nothing

By Robert Radnor

A series of short, very short, pieces about this, that and the other.
It's an antidote to so much writing that is serious, significant and very definitely about Something.
If not about nothing, at most it's about not very much.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Nov 18, 2019
• ISBN: 9780244836894

Book preview

Writing About Nothing

Writing About Nothing

Robert Radnor

Copyright © Robert Radnor 2019


Robert Radnor, whoever he is, or perhaps she is, has asserted his (or maybe her) right
under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
The book is not to be sold or resold without the publisher’s express approval,
not to be unreasonably withheld, for sure, for sure. First printing 2019.


ISBN 978-0-244-83689-4

The Abbeycymhir Publishing Corporation 2019

Farmers, Llandeilo SA19 9DW

Website: www.abbeycymhirpublishing.com

Preface

Writing about nothing turns that nothing into something, so this is writing that, at most, is about very little, and deliberately so. There's nothing of significance here, nothing substantive. It's an antidote, you might say, to writing that tries to be significant, and meaningful, and valuable. You probably don't need such an antidote, so have no need to read what follows. If so, cheerio. I'd do the same in your shoes.

Ribena

Here’s a life-defining thing: having three bottles of Ribena in your walk-in pantry. Now before you start thinking this is going to be good. How’s he going to turn this into something significant about life, the universe and everything?, the answer is: he isn’t. The Ribena, that’s it. Well, three its – and the walk-in pantry. This isn’t ‘significant’, but it does raise the question how’s your life working out that you so fear not having Ribena to put into a pint glass to take up to bed that you buy not one, not two, but three extra bottles to make sure that doesn’t happen? And, just to be clear – unlike, hah! Ribena – this isn’t some existential outcry, some my life is so meaningless that…blah, blah. It just is what it is. Prioritising Ribena. Taking it up to bed. In a pint glass. I’ve done for years. That’s it.

Auctions

This is not very interesting. Really, it’s not at all interesting. Just an observation.

Your objective at auctions is simple and clear cut: buy the items you want for as low a price as possible. Your objective at charity auctions is simple and clear cut: buy the items you don’t really want, and others, by their absence of bids, don’t want either, for as high a price as possible without being seen to be flash, or having more money than sense.

Your objective with Christmas presents is simple and clear cut: give gifts that will make the receivers as happy as possible. Your wish for the presents you receive (if you’re like most grown ups) is that you can convincingly say 'thank you. That’s great. It’s just what I want', even as you are planning how to get rid of it.

You watch your favourite team play, and, above all, you want a good result. Every other match you want a good game.

You have a favourite pair of shoes, so you wear them out a lot, and wear them out.

You buy a lot of beef, and spend a lot of time and use a lot of ingredients to make it a really good boeuf bourguignon, and plenty of it so you can freeze enough for a midweek supper, and it is so good the four of you eat the lot.

You know you are that busy person who is constantly given new tasks and responsibilities because everyone knows busy people are the ones who get stuff done, and you do get stuff done, so you do get more to do, until one day you think this is all too much,