My Self, My Soul

By James Debar

Life continues beyond this existence. I saw it, I felt it, I witnessed it.

During a life-altering heart attack, I touched my Soul. This powerful event changed my life and filled me with knowledge far beyond anything I'd ever known. A lifetime of questions were instantly and miraculously answered.

My Self, My Soul is a dialogue between the 'self' and the Soul during life's most defining moment when time, as we know it, comes to an end. This profound exchange reveals the 'self' at its most vulnerable moment, and the Soul at its most powerful. Experiencing what the enlightened Soul has to say to the limited 'self' is the basis of this life altering discussion.

During a sudden near death experience, with life saving chaos all around, I found myself entering a quiet and most spectacular place at the edge of the Universe. No tunnels, no family members there to greet me, no other encounters, but for One. A voice. *A crystal clear, peaceful, nonjudgmental resonance permeated me. While experiencing an extraordinary, even overwhelming feeling of love and serenity, I became aware of an absorption and transference of knowledge. I was given choice to continue or to stay. I sensed neither fear, nor trepidation. The decision was easily made. I chose to stay.

For months the information I received resonated in my heart and the dialogue continued. This remarkable experience confirmed we are both a Soul and a 'self' joined in sharing and learning. The exploration of this relationship offers a deeper understanding of the more perplexing elements of our physical journeys without waiting until the end of a lifetime. Communing with our Souls propels each of us toward a greater understanding of love and gratitude.

My Self, My Soul seeks to add another ray to the beam that lights the path providing reassurance and encouragement on our life's journey. Along that passageway is the empowerment to tear veils of fear, which bind emotions and imprison joy. It is my fervent hope that the breakthroughs toward understanding the Soul, and all of its gifts, may in time propel us toward unprecedented personal enlightenment.

* Excerpt from the Prologue:
"A crystal clear, pleasant and calm voice resonating all around me says, 'You can keep coming, or you can stay. If you are going to stay, open your eyes.' The voice is neither inviting, nor repelling, is entirely nonjudgmental, and appears neutral to what I am experiencing. The voice has no gender.

I sense that I am absorbing something, which so many years later I remain unable to fully explain - a knowledge or awareness of things far beyond me and vastly greater than what I have known. This instantaneous assimilation of knowledge is far different from the methodical process of learning and comprehension through which I had matured, or developed along my journey. More overwhelming than this knowledge spreading through me is the feeling that envelops and permeates me. This energy intensifies as the moment progresses. From the vantage point of my human perspective, expressions such as Love, serenity, peace, joy, and lightness come to mind, but they barely begin to describe this energy. I immediately recognize that I am the energy that I know is my Soul. I experience the purity of my Soul, momentarily unfettered by the physical needs and conditions of my body. My Soul is unencumbered.

At that moment I know everything waiting for me following this transition to the other side is a moment along the natural progression of my broader existence. I am confident the experience is to be an enjoyable one, should I decide to continue. I sense neither fear nor trepidation. In that surreal, but seemingly natural event, I sense the remainder of my life on earth is not finished. It is also to be harmonious. I know a new phase of my life is about to begin. I yet have more to learn and more to do. I have been given a choice. The decision to remain is easily made.

I open my

• Language: English
• Publisher: James Debar
• Release date: Jan 17, 2014
• ISBN: 9780980906608

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my self, my soul

my self, my soul

A Spiritual journey through an

intimate conversation between

the Self and the Soul

written by

james debar

WarmWind Publishing

www.myselfmysoul.com

Copyright 2010 © by james debar

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by means electronic, mechanical, or other without written permission from the author, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

www.myselfmysoul.com

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication: debar, james, 1946-

my self, my soul : a spiritual journey through an intimate conversation with the soul / james debar.

Cover and design by Marc Kate

Photography by Catherine Maheu

ISBN 978-0-9809066-0-8

1. Spiritual life.  2. Soul.I. Title.

BL73.D42A3 2007 204’.2 C2008-900015-3

WarmWind Publishing Inc.,

Smashwords Edition - 2014

May your Soul be heard on your path to finding Love and Gratitude.

Dedication

My warmest gratitude to my dearest friend, Doyle, who has taught me much about perseverance and friendship. Gliding in on the cadence of some universal resonance, we entered this world hours apart on opposite sides of the earth, and through good fortune, we became brothers. My life’s journey has been made so much richer for that bond, and my Soul is forever grateful.

Prologue

It hits me like a thunderbolt, fortunate and unfortunate, all at once.

Rushing into the hospital, all is a blur . . . commotion, frenzied activity, a bustling emergency room overflowing with patients and medical attendants addressing needs as best they can. I have a distinctly unfamiliar and intolerably heavy pressure in the center of my chest. A massive heart attack is about to permanently alter my life.

The attending doctors and nurses struggle with getting the IV lines started. Frustration rapidly rises. I feel panic and alarm in their voices. I sense growing fear on both sides of me. My body is shutting down.

I close my eyes.

All sounds instantly disappear. All sense of panic evaporates. Only absolute quiet, calm, and serenity remain. Temporarily there is neither sound, nor sight, nor feeling. Nothing. Yet, curiously, I am still aware.

A very vivid and vast grid of lights is displayed above me against a black background. I realize that I am peering into the universe, as I have never seen it. A particular star formation draws my attention as its light radiates with greater intensity than the rest, and its brightness amplifies rapidly. I don't yet recognize it, but intuitively I know this cluster of lights is the Little Dipper. Its most brilliant point draws my attention. The cluster grows brighter and appears to come down out of the heavens closer to me, or I closer to it. I cannot tell which. The brightest star in this cluster grows even faster and brighter than the rest, enveloping them, forming one brilliant white glow.

Whatever is occurring to me, the process is continuous. Remarkably, I no longer feel physical. I am an energy separating from my corporeal and mortal self. I somehow understand this energy is my Soul. As my Soul emerges, I feel an immeasurably heightened sense of awareness. The light above me intensifies, and I suddenly seem to be accelerating toward it.

A crystal clear, pleasant and calm voice resonating all around me says, You can keep coming, or you can stay. If you are going to stay, open your eyes. The voice is neither inviting, nor repelling, is entirely nonjudgmental, and appears neutral to what I am experiencing. The voice has no gender.

I sense that I am absorbing something, which so many years later I remain unable to fully explain - a knowledge or awareness of things far beyond me and vastly greater than what I have known. This instantaneous assimilation of knowledge is far different from the methodical process of learning and comprehension through which I had matured, or developed along my journey. More overwhelming than this knowledge spreading through me is the feeling that envelops and permeates me. This energy intensifies as the moment progresses.  From the vantage point of my human perspective, expressions such as Love, serenity, peace, joy, and lightness come to mind, but they barely begin to describe this energy. I immediately recognize that I am the energy that I know is my Soul. I experience the purity of my Soul, momentarily unfettered by the physical needs and conditions of my body. My Soul is unencumbered.

At that moment I know everything waiting for me following this transition to the other side is a moment along the natural progression of my broader existence. I am confident the experience is to be an enjoyable one, should I decide to continue. I sense neither fear nor trepidation. In that surreal, but seemingly natural event, I sense the remainder of my life on earth is not finished. It is also to be harmonious. I know a new phase of my life is about to begin. I yet have more to learn and more to do. I have been given a choice. The decision to remain is easily made.

I open my eyes.

The Dialogue

My Soul:

The time has arrived for our paths to diverge. As significant as your conception and your birth, a powerful event is now altering your life and altering our journey together. This has been a beautiful experience. We have traveled a rewarding path, you and I, enriched with warm bonds that have provided the experience of Love. We enjoyed many vibrant and varied relationships that were the source of much learning. I am grateful for all you have provided me. Thank you for everything you have allowed me to feel and understand. As we part ways you return to the rejuvenating nature from which you grew, from which you gathered and accumulated such boundless energy, and I continue my journey. I will forever retain the feelings we shared. I will preserve the distinct energies you sensed.

My Self:

Wait. What?

My Soul:

I did not know what specific roads we would explore together, but I knew that you would provide fulfilling experiences through which much would be learned. In Love, I am grateful.

My Self:

Wait. Wait. Hold on. What’s happening? All my life I . . . hey, holdup, where are you going? You’re leaving just like that? That’s it? Please. Please explain.

My Soul:

You are physically undergoing a life altering heart attack. I am your Soul. You and I have relied on one another, and although we have each influenced the path of your life, this is a very distinct event that neither of us commands.

My Self:

My Soul? But, I’m not ready. I’m not close to being ready. You can’t just leave like this. I appreciate your gratitude, but surely you have some influence over leaving, so how about a little sensitivity. What of my family? I can’t leave my family without saying goodbye. This is not right. I’m not done here. There is still much for me to do. Anyway, what’s the rush? I’m still young. I should have much more time, shouldn’t I?

My Soul:

"Life is a glorious experience and your sentiment is very natural, however, your physical journey, our physical journey is concluding. This is a reality which I do not have control over."

My Self:

Somehow this isn’t what I expected, but then I didn’t really know what to expect. Shouldn’t there be some warning? After a whole lifetime here wouldn’t a little notification make sense? Isn’t there a process, or perhaps a window of time for the transition instead of, just, well, bang, that’s it, it’s over? I knew this moment would arrive eventually. I mean, we all know don’t we? We don’t want it to come. I certainly didn’t want it to . . . I still don’t.

My Soul:

Nor should you.

My Self:

Right, well, exactly. I’m not done. Sometimes I’m a little tired maybe, but I’m not done. At least not yet . . . not now.

My Soul:

I know that this is not easy for you. Nor might it ever be. Still, this is a reality for both of us.

My Self:

Life is good. Leaving it this early doesn’t make sense to me. Dying so soon is just not what I had in mind. I suppose I never really allowed myself to dwell on death. Who does? I didn’t want it to become part of my reality. Dying is such a finite event that we shy away from facing it, and usually would rather leave it in a place of denial. It’s not something easy to accept. Most of us assume that when it comes it’s a surprise and we just hope it’s instantaneous. We would rather not think about it. Ultimately, I would rather not face it. Are you really sure? Can’t we plan for it, or at least discuss a more appropriate time? I could still function on my own . . . and I could have many years left. I’m sure there’s plenty of time available in this universe, so throwing a little more of it my way shouldn’t harm anything. It’s always struck me that human life is rather brief anyway. So, how about at least taking a moment?

My Soul:

"The self holds a powerful, inherent desire to live, to survive. It is natural for you to feel there is no good time to die, nevertheless, our moment for parting has come. Our experience is complete."

My Self:

It’s not even been an average lifetime and that’s no time at all really.

My Soul:

It has been an eternity and it has been only the briefest instant.

My Self:

That is not an explanation.

My Soul:

Infinity has no time as you know it. I must be on my way. We have done all we came to do.

My Self:

Wait. We? What do you mean we? If that includes me, how can you be so sure the time has come? There is always more to be done and more to be experienced. This is a big world. It’s frustrating to accept that time is something we wish we had more of and yet we can neither create it, nor affect it. I’m finally beginning to get a better sense of what I am doing and why, so again, why now? There is always more to be learned. You said you had a need to learn, and I’m finally figuring out a few things, including myself.

My Soul:

And you have. I do not control the extent of our time together, though it is evident we have completed our journey, you and I. We didn’t come here to experience all of humanity. Experiencing your whole world, and everything in it, was not a necessity. Participating in a fraction of it has been amply sufficient. We achieved much and it has been a nourishing relationship.

My Self:

Ah, some answers. So . . . how do you know this? What answers or experiences were you looking for? Perhaps you didn't quite get all you came for.

My Soul:

Similar ones to those you were seeking. We came to discover together, and I followed your lead.

My Self:

That doesn’t . . . what do you mean?

My Soul:

"We have enjoyed a harmonious relationship. My presence wasn't always evident to you other than when you were very young, although during more recent years you explored certain impressions you were feeling, including questions of your own essence. You also asked yourself why. You attempted to place your life in some context, and although you found the exercise difficult, you persevered. You became aware enough to conduct yourself as though each moment in your life really mattered. Some of the energy nudging that awareness was inherent, and some was a very mindful behavior. You listened. It took you a while, but you got there."

My Self:

Exactly. I recently got there so why leave? This would be a good time for a little clarification on a few sensations, or thoughts I’ve had over the years. If, as you said, 'infinity has no time as I know it,’ then even if this takes a million years it won't really make much difference to you, will it? The dialogue will just be a brief instant in eternity, after all.

My Soul:

"Our journey together is complete and evidently you don’t have a million years. As for time as you know it, the phrase simply referred to the framework within which you have affirmed time to explain it and your own lifetime. Time has been a very pervasive element in your life, as it is with most. Each moment was allocated a reference point and actions were planned in rationed segments of time, guiding