Keep The Ring: How to make your marriage sparkle forever.

By David LeVine

Discover the Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Yes, there are "Secrets" for turning a spouse into a "soul mate"... and building a lifetime relationship.
And now those secrets can be yours!

Now you can "Keep the Ring"... and make your marriage better than you ever thought possible!

You know your marriage is the most important thing in the world.... To you, to your spouse and - most of all - to your children.
But do you know the secrets of staying happily married?
Just some of the secrets that will be revealed to you in this new guide to a happy marriage: Keep the Ring. Even if your relationship is already great (or especially if it isn't!) Keep the Ring will reveal:
=> The real goal of marriage
=> How to stop fighting... and start arguing your way to harmony. (Yes, there's a wrong way... and a right way to argue--where everybody wins!)
=> How to overcome the biggest barrier to communication
=> The 13 ways to get and stay connected
=> How to read a disconnect notice... and how to keep the connection turned on
=> How to cope with--and grow from--the bad times
=> How to get pleasure... by giving pleasure
=> Little things that mean a lot of damage!
=> How--and why--to break with the past
=> An exercise that will help your marriage
=> How a spiritual connection will help your marriage connection
=> When "two is company, but three's a crowd." (Why "triangulation" sounds like "strangulation"!)
=> Why love isn't enough
=> How your differences can bring you closer together
=> The triple A's that can change your marriage (not your tires!)
=> When beauty is NOT just skin deep
=> How to give and get R-E-S-P-E-C-T

The wisdom and strategies in this book can make your marriage new again! Save a marriage... and heal the wounds

You'll discover exactly what to say and do to keep a relationship warm and loving. And you'll learn the right way to save a relationship that's gone bad... even if you're the only one who wants to save it.
=> Discover critical strategies to save and savor your relationship
=> Discover what really helps... and what really hurts!
=> Start improving your relationship right now!

Don't wait even another minute to start improving your relationship! You'll be on your way to a happier marriage! Guaranteed!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Warm Wisdom Press
• Release date: Jul 3, 2011
• ISBN: 9789726215981

David LeVine

David LeVine, now 82 years old, enjoyed a successful sales and management career with two Fortune 500 companies. He was also a broadcaster, television anchor, and radio announcer of Las Vegas fights. Throughout his life, he’s had an uncanny ability to befriend Major League players and announcers. He’s also the author of A Minnesotan Takes A U-Turn. He lives in Fargo, North Dakota.

Book preview

Keep The Ring

How to make your marriage sparkle forever.

Featuring: Shimon Green, Dov Heller, Tziporah Heller, Lawrence Kelemen, Aryeh Pamensky, Mordecai Rottman

By David LeVine

www.KeepTheRing.com

Copyright 2011 Warm Wisdom Press

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition License Notes:

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Overview

Rabbi Aryeh Pamensky

Rabbi Mordecai Rottman

Rabbi Dov Heller

Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller

Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen

Rabbi Shimon Green

Secrets From A Marriage Counselor’s Notebook

Summary

Review Guide

Introduction

Welcome to Keep the Ring, an innovative book and audio series that will help you discover the secrets to making a great marriage and keeping it that way.

This series follows the same format as its predecessor, Get the Ring. It’s compromised of six audio presentations (slightly edited for readability), each of which focuses on a different aspect of the husband-wife relationship. The topics of discussion include –– but are not limited to - the differences between men and women, challenges in marriage, ways to connect with your spouse, the essence of love, dealing with the dark times and the goal of marriage.

So sit back and relax. Prepare yourself for a reading experience that will make you laugh, cry, wonder…but above all will make you think, and enable you to bring your relationship to heights you never imagined possible.

Bonus Materials:

1) FREE Audio Book Download:

Download the complete Keep the Ring Audio Book, instructions for downloading are on this webpage. http://www.WarmWisdomPress.com/Y83RT753/

NOTE: The Audio Book is provided in standard MP3 format. We do not provide any technical support on the Audio Book download.

2) Keep The Ring - Review Guide

We’ve included the review guide in the back of this book for your convenience. If you would like to download a PDF version of the Review Guide, please visit the link above.

Overview

Rabbi Aryeh Pamensky

A laughter-filled, comprehensive discussion of the differences between men and women and how each spouse can better appreciate the other.

Rabbi Mordecai Rottman, M.A.

Takes us through the three realizations and the three skills necessary in order to overcome the challenges and make a marriage strive.

Rabbi Dov Heller, LMFT –– Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

An analysis on how to deepen the emotional bond through a discussion of The Thirteen Ways to Connect With Your Spouse.

Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller

Offering a wealth of wisdom on the essence of a great marriage, Rebbetzin Heller touches on numerous issues that come up in married life.

Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen

Teaches us how to deal with, and grow from, the dark times –– and how to avoid them in the first place.

Rabbi Shimon Green

An emotional yet humorous presentation on the essence of love, and why marriage is neither deep nor complicated.

Rabbi Aryeh Pamensky

Overview

A laughter-filled, comprehensive discussion of the differences between men and women and how each spouse can better appreciate the other.

About

Aryeh Pamensky is the Director of The Pamensky Relationship Institute, which is dedicated to provide couples with strategies for creating extraordinary marriages. He launched the seminar How to Make a Good Marriage Great in 1997, which has grown into one the most popular programs of its kind.

The subsequent spin-off lectures (Pamensky Live, Pamensky Returns, and Dating for Fun, Dating for Marriage) and workshops (Conflict Resolution and Making Love Real) have propelled Aryeh into a highly sought-after speaker.

http://www.happywife.com

Figuring it Out

My name is Aryeh Pamensky. I come from Toronto. And I want to discuss one of the greatest areas of life and that is the area of relationships. Relationships are the one area in life where people honestly believe they’re going to figure it out as they go along. Do you know what I’m talking about? You start in the dating world and you say — well, I kind of like this world. I don’t really understand what’s going on but I suppose when I get into a committed relationship, then I’m going to really figure this thing out. Then you get into a committed relationship and you say — Well, I still kind of like it but I have no clue what’s happening. I suppose when I get married, then it’s going to start making sense to me. And then you get married and you say — Well, I guess, maybe when I’ve been married 50 years this world will start making sense.

Did you ever want to learn how to fly? I have a flight school in Toronto. I have a very unique method of teaching people how to fly. This is what I do. I have a little Cessna airplane. I take people up and when I see that they sort of have a rudimentary understanding of how to keep the plane airborne somehow, I put a parachute on, I jump out and I say — Good luck! Are you going to come to my flight school?

No. Of course not. Why not? What’s missing? The instructions. Instructions. How do you land? I was once giving a talk in Toronto and there was a guy sitting there and chuckling out loud as I was talking about the flight school. And I turned to him. He was actually disturbing me and I said, You know, Mister, why are you laughing?

Well, I’m a pilot for Air Canada. I fly Jumbo jets, he said. Flying Jumbo jets is a breeze compared to marriage, compared to relationships.

Where’s the instruction manual for marriage? Where’s the instruction manual for relationships?

The 3,500 Year Old Secret

I’m going to give you a 3,500-year-old secret for making amazing relationships. And you’ll see how incredibly relevant it is for today. It’s all really predicated on one main truth. That is that men and women are…different! Unbelievably, incredibly different. How different are we?

Men and Women are Different

When I discuss this topic in my lectures, I usually poll the audience to see how they think that men and women are different. Some of the answers I have gotten are: Men and women deal with issues on a different emotional level; women want to vent but men want to solve problems; men want women to stay the same and women want men to change; women can relate to people directly whereas men find it difficult. They are all great answers. But there is one answer that really encompasses all of the above and puts it all together as it pertains to relationships.

Women are Relationship-Beings, Men are…Not

Women are relationship-beings. Men are… not. What do I mean by a relationship-being? The essence of a woman is built around the world of relationships. She understands the world of relationships. She navigates the world of relationships. Most of the world of relationships is a hidden world and she understands this world. And men, well...they do not. I’ll explain a little later on.

I developed this program when I was first in Toronto, about eight or nine years ago. In Toronto I actually give it as an eight-week series, two hours a night. What you’re reading is a little bit of an overview of the full program. I wanted to give you my methodology, along with some practical tools that you can walk away with.

I first started with small groups, maybe 20 people, ten couples. And as an ice-breaker I split the men and the women up and I told them, Women, here’s a task. Describe the ideal husband, the ideal wife and the ideal man. And I’d give the men the same task. After about 15 or 20 minutes I would pull them back in. The women’s group would be on one side and the men’s group would be on the other. I’d say to the women’s group, Okay, do you have a spokeswoman? What’s your name? Barbara? Great. Okay, please stand up. Spokesman? Bob? Great, please stand up. Bob, do you mind if the ladies go first? Okay. Barbara —— what did you come up with? And as Barbara was about to give me the three things on her list I’d say something. I’d do this every single time and I had a 100% success rate:

Barbara, one second before you give me your list –– that lady over there, what’s her name?

Her name is Jennifer, Barbara would answer. How many kids does she have?"

Three.

What schools do they go to? And Barbara would tell me.

And the lady sitting on the left, what’s her name?

Her name is Sue.

How many kids does she have?

She doesn’t have any kids.

Then I’d look over at Bob. Bob is sweating buckets, he’s looking down at the paper and going, Hey, wait a minute! That wasn’t one of the questions! Because what do men do? They go through the question, boom, boom, boom, and then what do they talk about? Sports. When would they ever, ever get to know the names of the other men in the group? Exactly. When their wives introduce them. But the women, before they do this exercise, they have to know —— Who are you? We’re going to be spending ten precious minutes together here. Tell me about yourself.

Women are relationship-beings. Men are…… not.

I was once in the airport, waiting to catch a flight to Pittsburgh to do a presentation. There was a guy sitting next to me, and when he got up to get on his flight, he left a piece of the newspaper. It had a picture of a car. I can’t resist; I’m a guy. I wanted to read about the car. And when I started reading, I couldn’t believe how well the advertisement described how men are not relationship- beings. The writer was doing a review of a car called the Mercedes S600V12 Turbo Charge. Apparently this is the car of cars. Every automotive wizardry is in this car. So he went to a place called Sindofing in Germany to pick up his car. He was really excited, and he wrote about his experience. And this is what he said:

Taking delivery of your factory fresh Mercedes Benz, all seems right with the world. The mind is momentarily cleared of other concerns. Somewhere war is giving way to peace. Famines are ending.

This guy is having a sublime experience. He’s experiencing a world without war. He’s experiencing a world without famine. Now read the next line.

Somewhere war is giving way to peace. Famines are ending. Divorces are amicable.

Divorces are amicable? The guy could envision a world where there’s not one starving child, not one bullet flying. But put a man in front of a relationship, and what’s the best he can come up with? Divorces are amicable? Women are relationship-beings. Men are… not!

Well, if men are not relationship-beings, what do they need to be successful in a relationship with the relationship-being? I mean, I hate to put it like this, but who has the upper hand? Who understands the world of relationships better, the woman or the man? The woman. So what does a man need to be successful in this world, to make a woman happy? How can he make a relationship-being happy in this most important relationship?

Happiness is a Two-Way Street

What does he need? He needs what I call… a job. He needs a job description. Tell me what to do. Tell me how to make this thing work. Well, gentlemen, I’ve come to give you your job description and it’s very simple. Your job is to make your wives… happy.

Now, when I give this as a lecture, this is the point at which half the room collapses. The other half of the room is looking at their watches going, Oh man, did I take a wrong turn! Make her happy? When?

All the time.

All the time means… All the time!

You wake up in the morning, you say — Thank G-d I’m alive, make her happy. Go downstairs, what am I going to have for breakfast? Make her happy. Go to that other place where… you know, the job… where you get paid. But what’s your real job while you’re there? Make her happy. Come home at night, make her happy. Go to bed at night, make her happy. Your job is to make the woman happy. When? All the time!

Now, the underlying theory goes something like this: Imagine if I would have said to the women — Women, your job is to make the men happy. What would the relationship look like? Well, the woman would make the man happy and the man could be… happy. (The guys are usually going — Yes… So? Sounds pretty good.) It sounds pretty good; the only thing is, it just doesn’t make for a dynamic, passionate, growing, wonderful relationship. So I tell the men — Listen, you do your job. You make the woman happy. She, being a relationship-being, will take that energy you’ve put into the relationship and what will she do with it? Give it back. As much? More, way more.

Now the men should listen to this. It’s a pretty good proposition. You do your job, you make her happy. She, being a relationship-being, takes that energy and gives it back even more, making you even happier. At this point you’ve made her happy and she’s made you even happier. At this point what must you not do?

Think! You must not think. What happens when a man starts analyzing a relationship? What happens to that relationship? It starts going downhill. Gentlemen, you never have to analyze or think about your relationship again. I’d like to say I’ve come to free you from the shackles of relationships. You never ever have to think about your relationship again. All you need to do is focus on the woman, your wife. What can I do to make her happy? How can I make her happy? Then she, being a relationship-being will take that energy and create the relationship.

There are three parts to every relationship. There’s the man and his needs. There’s the woman and her needs, and then there’s the relationship and its needs. Gentlemen, all you need to do is focus on the woman and her needs and allow her, the one who understands the relationship, to take the energy you put in, captain the ship, steer the relationship where she understands it needs to go, and then give back to you, fulfilling your needs more than you ever dreamed they could be fulfilled. At which point, what do you do? Your job. Make her happy. And this creates a dynamic, passionate, growing, wonderful, life-filled relationship together.

The Million-Dollar Question: How?

Now comes the million-dollar question. What if your wife has to tell you how to make her happy? How? How do you make a woman happy all the time? What, are you kidding me? How do you make a woman happy?

This question reminds me of an old, old joke. These three women couldn’t find a good man anywhere in St. Louis. But they heard about this club that opened downtown. Guaranteed to find the man of your dreams. And this club has six floors. On every floor you find a different kind of man, and you’re guaranteed to find the man of your dreams. So they go to the front and they say, What floor should we go to?

So the concierge says , Why don’t you start at one, work your way up and stop at the floor where you find the man of your dreams.

They said okay. He said that there’s a plaque at every elevator, telling you what kind of man you’ll find on each floor. They said, okay. They push 1. They get out of the elevator. There’s a plaque that says, On this floor you will find men who are short, fat, bald, ugly, poor, bad communicators, stingy and insensitive.

They get back in and they push 2. On this floor you will find men who are tall, handsome, poor, stingy, bad communicators and insensitive. I guess that’s a little better. What is this place?

They go to 3, 4 and finally get to