When Your House is Not a Home

By Rick Wallace Ph.D, Psy.D.

America has the largest dating culture in the world, but yet it boasts the highest divorce rate. To exacerbate the matter, the divorce rate among believers is as high as non-believers. Dr. Wallace engages the enigmatic issues that are plaguing marriages in a America in a powerful, yet succinct way.

He wastes no time getting to the core issues of understanding God’s design for marriage and understanding your role in marriage. Dr. Wallace pulls no punches as he builds a theme that declares; it’s not about you. He takes the reader on an odyssey in which the final destination is a marriage that is centered on Christ and focused on glorifying God.

If you are struggling in your marriage or you simply want to improve the quality of your marriage, you will want to read this book.

Dr. Wallace did not reinvent the wheel here, he borrowed from some very powerful teachers, past and present, to bring together a conglomerate affect that is mind blowing.

You cannot read this book and be the same. It will change your perspective on marriage. It will transform your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rick Wallace Ph.D, Psy.D.
• Release date: Aug 8, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301228249

Rick Wallace Ph.D, Psy.D.

Born in the late 60's to a fifteen-year-old mother and an absent father, I was taken in at the age of nine months by my great grandparents. They adopted me when I was two. I was precocious as a child and I'm sure my grandmother would add, quite loquacious. My grandmother took advantage of my inherent ability to learn and my inexorable desire to talk. She sat me down at the age of two, switch in hand, and began to teach me the story of the creation as revealed in Geneses 1-3. Once I had it committed to memory, my grandmother taught me to recite it with passion. She then took me from church to church, put a microphone in my hand and made me recite it before the congregation. My grandmother said she was being obedient to the prompting of the Holy Spirit in teaching me the Bible, thank God she did. My grandfather was the one who taught me how to be a man. Born in 1909, he had to stop schooling in the second grade to help his parents who sharecropped. Because of this he stressed education and achievement. Though he passed away at the age of 83 in 1992, he is still very much with me. My grandmother passed recently, in March 2010 at the age of 92. I am a proud father of seven ranging in age from 2 to 31. I consider each one a blessing from God. You will be introduced to each one individually through my writings. My children are a constant reminder of how much God loves me. Thanks to my grandparents, I had a wonderful childhood. I was given an immense appreciation for scholarship and carried the natural gift of athleticism. Throughout school, I put both to use. I have been blessed both in athletic achievement and in the attainment of academic knowledge. Both have contributed to my advancement in life. I feel it necessary to give honorable mention to four people who had an enormous impact on my life. Ms. Geraldine François, my 4th-6th grade teacher. Ms. François was an accelerated learning teacher who saw something special in me and refused to accept anything less than my best. This included my handwriting. She said no one would ever discern the depth of my intelligence if they were not able to decipher my handwriting. To this day, my handwriting is identical to hers and most women find it humorously unbefitting a man. Mr. Brewer was my seventh grade history teacher. He instilled the intrinsic value of self-discipline. Mr. Brewer was a former college instructor who discovered that man...

Book preview

When Your House Is Not a Home

A Biblical Perspective on Marriage

By Dr. Rick Wallace

Published by Odyssey Media Group/Dr. Rick Wallace at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Dr. Rick Wallace

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Christ: The Sustaining Force

God’s Way or Yours

The Proper Connection

The Laws of Divine Establishment

The Divine Institutions

The Individual

Understanding the Power of Volition

The Marriage

Dating: The Mythological Lie

Are You the Man You Think You Are

When Things Go Wrong

The Secret to a Great Marriage

The Secret Revealed in Ephesians 5:33

Understanding God’s Design

Deviation from Design

The Power of Affirming Words

Understanding the Cod of Love & Respect

Is Unconditional Respect an Oxymoron?

Husbands Love Your Wives

Turning Your House into a Home

Loving Benediction

Acknowledgements

As I close the chapter on writing this book I have to admit I am a little emotional. Out of all the articles I have written and the books I have authored, engaging this issue did something to me. I was literally transformed as I searched out God’s will for marriage. Writing this book was truly an odyssey in itself.

The majority of this book was written as I traveled through the darkest time I have ever experienced in my entire life. I remember simply promising God that if he woke me up, I would answer the bell. There were some days that took all I had to answer that bell, but I made it. To God be the glory.

This part is always the most difficult for me. Attempting to acknowledge everyone that attributed to the successful completion of a project is never an easy task. You want to list everyone, but you know that is not possible. Then you become concerned that you will insult someone if you don’t mention them. Fortunately enough for me, I have a circle of friends that will understand.

First and foremost I want to give all glory and honor to God for providing me with the strength and insight to write this book. The journey was intense and the circumstances were not always ideal, but He gave me the strength to press on. Every word written in this book is a representation of Him and what He expects for and from marriage. I pray that I have represented Him well.

To Rev. Claude A. Lewis, my friend, and my brother and partner in ministry, I appreciate you more than you will ever know. Those long in depth conversations we had on marriage and the immensity of the responsibility associated with it, contributed much to the outcome of this book. More importantly, the emotional, psychological and spiritual support that you provided during those rough times will never be forgotten. You are the epitome of the friend in Ecclesiastes Chapter 4. I love you dearly for that.

To Dr. Dannette Vercher of A.R.O.H. Theological Seminary, I would like to thank you for your support and your understanding, as I took time away from developing our new Health & Wellness program. You have extended an exceptional amount of support and understanding. You are appreciated. Your words of wisdom and support will never be forgotten.

To Fellowship Church Dallas, you have provided a safe haven for me in some of my darkest moments. You have rekindle hope within me that the Church will reclaim Her glory in my lifetime. As I wrote this book, I was able to watch the emphasis placed on marriage and the support systems that are in place at Fellowship Church, and it inspired me. Observing the family love in that place reinvigorated my hope for the family in America. You are truly a blessing.

To Dwane Edwards, you are the same every day. I always know what I am going to get with you. In a world with so many fickle people, you are refreshing. We have our moments, but I have never doubted our friendship. For those times you simply made me smile, thank you. May God bless you and your family.

To every person that sent me an encouraging line or called to check on me; Ffor every person that quietly and anonymously prayed for me, and for every person that simply patted me on the back when I passed by, I appreciated you as well. There were moments when I simply needed to feel the love of God, and he expressed that love through you. Thank you.

~ Dr. Rick Wallace

Introduction

I want to be very lucid in presenting the fact that I do not write, teach, or preach from a platform of perfection. As a man I have made mistakes, and those mistakes have at times come at the expense of others. I have tasted the bitter waters of divorce and staggered through the storm of relational dysfunctionality. I know what it feels like to have children who are trapped between their love for their parents and the fact that mom and dad are no longer seeing things eye to eye. No, I don’t write to you this day from the lonely island of perfection, but from the transformed heart of a man of God. This being the most preeminent of truths: That only through complete surrender to God’s will for your life can you find true joy, contentment, and stability in marriage.

I purposely made this volume concise, because I wanted to engage you on an intimate level. I wanted to speak to your need and address your yearnings for a better and more powerful marriage. Even as a person that believes there can never be too much knowledge, there are those moments when being succinct makes a better point. This book is broken down into numerous segments, but they are short in nature and each make very valid points.

As we move forward, we will explore God’s will for marriage, marriage’s function as an institution, God’s role in the home, and lastly, what happens when your house is not a home. A significant portion of what will be addressed in this book will be directed toward men because it is my belief that too many men have fallen away from their God ordained duties, creating a void and an imbalance in the function of the home and in many other areas of society. It is now that the clarion is sounding. God is calling men to resume their positions as leaders, providers, protectors, and enablers.

This does not, by any means, excuse our Christian women from walking into their callings and ambling into their destinies. I know that you have been hurt; I know that you have been disappointed; I know that you have been left with the burden of being a single parent. Your trust and faithfulness has been repaid with disloyalty, malevolence, and abandonment; however, there is still reason