God Is Killing Me

By Patrick Parker

John 12:24 AMP

" I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains [just one grain; it never becomes more but lives] by itself alone. But if it dies, it produces many others andyields a rich harvest."

 

The title of this book is meant to provoke  the reader enough to  examine  what this book is about; the book chronicles some of the details of my faith walk and asks the question, "Who is God and what does God require of you?" Despite what we think, the antithesis of what you believe is true. There is an inherent desire in each of us to know the answer to this question. Until you face the climactic battle with who you are and what your purpose is the war within will continue with the ideas and thoughts expressed in this book. I wrote this book to provoke the thoughts and feelings of both believers and nonbelievers alike.Unintentionally, I set out on a path of personal disclosure and spiritual discovery as an introspective journey through my stages of faith from "a church-goer" to a  becoming a "believer," and there is a difference that can fully be defined by the role that God has in one's life. Is he revered as a selfish, authoritative ruler who controls us with fear? Contrary to my experiential realities which I have experienced in my twenty-four-year walk in relationship versus religion. Experiencing great tragedies and triumphs and some extraordinary moments of revelation within my personal, professional, and spiritual walk. The primary theme which is prevalent throughout continues to be "the evidential presence of God's hand throughout the phases of my life which corrected me, directed me, connected me, and convicted me to submit to the crucifying of the mind of the flesh.

-- Patrick B. Parker

• Language: English
• Publisher: Patrick Parker
• Release date: Mar 22, 2024
• ISBN: 9781662422935

Patrick Parker

Patrick Parker is an Author (God Is Killing Me) Husband, Father Minister  and former member of the United States Air Force He enjoys writing  travelling He writes  to speak to matters which relate to  either spiritual or practical matters which effect people in everyday day life This book was written to address the practical issue of seniors who have a hard time either learning or adjusting to often complicated world of maneuvering through the ever-changing landscape of smartphone technology.  .

Book preview

God Is Killing Me

Patrick Parker

Copyright © 2024 by Patrick Parker All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This book is a work of nonfiction.

ISBN: 978-1662422935

Second Edition:2024

Printed in the USA

The birthing of this book is dedicated to my wife, Kerisha High-Parker.

You have not only been the love of my life, but also my guide, my cheer-leader, my biggest critic, my greatest motivator, my moral compass, my focus of inspiration, and the voice of god I heard when I couldn’t hear anything else.

You never wavered in your encouragement; your passion is unfeigned, and your words are always genuinely from the heart.

Your faithfulness is unequalled, and your patience is unmatched by any one whom I have ever known. You have always desired the best for me and made me better in every area of my life. You have undoubtedly made my experience in this life a greater one.

Not many souls on this earth would endure the trials and tribulations we have encountered, and yet still display the agape love you have to cover my fallibility and uphold me, even when I couldn’t uphold myself. Your character, dedication, and strength are truly a testament that will be ac-counted worthy in the presence of our Almighty Creator. I am honored to have been chosen to be the man god has placed as protector of your life; I continue to hope that our future will include additional months, weeks, and years of added grace to display the beauty of what marriage and love should be to those who we already know and to others we will encounter. With all that I have and can give, I truly love you.

Family members, friends, and people who inspire me deserve honorable mention: my parents, Richard and Juanita Parker; my brothers, Percinio and Rick; my sister Pamela; my great uncle Bishop T. T. Terry; and my grandmothers, the late Mary Ella Barnes and the late Clotiel Greer; all of my children Travante, Kyree, and my baby girl Azaria; and I must not forget the man who has had an impact on me, and my desire to be great. I 1

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PATRICK PARKER

have come to love, admire, and greatly respect Mr. James D. Lacy. Thank you all for providing me with the fortitude to continue to press toward greatness in unique ways. You have all added to my desire and inspiration to finish the work. I love all of you and owe each of you a debt of gratitude.

To all of you who helped me to form the basis of this book, thank you!

These individuals either added value or detracted from my experience, but nevertheless, without them my life would have undoubtedly taken a different path. All of my pastors and brothers and sisters in Christ who have inspired me in any capacity, thank you for considering me.

I would also like to give mention to my first childhood bully and, at the time, my nemesis, Charles Petty: the lessons I learned taught me that it was okay to fight for what mattered most. Even giving the enemy little glimpses of weaknesses can provoke him to continue to try to intimidate you. Thanks to you, I don’t intimidate easily.

I also want to acknowledge my childhood babysitter, whose name I won’t mention. Before I was of school age, I suffered abuses that I probably compartmentalized in the recesses of my mind, and to this day I have confided my experiences only to my wife. Your actions did not destroy me; they gave me fuel to fight and a reason to share my story.

The reason I wanted to include you in the dedication is to let you know I forgive you.

I truly thank god for the many people I’ve met throughout my life and paths I’ve taken. These people and paths have forged my experiences and solidified my direction; I have compassion and a deep desire to not on-ly educate but continue to be a lifelong student of the word of god, as I learn of him and seek more to decrease in my own intellectual knowledge.

GOD IS KILLING ME

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Furthermore, I must acknowledge my time and experience in the United States Air Force in 1988. It was during this time that I truly learned how to pray, be humble, and exercise my faith. My physical abilities and my fortitude were tested, and I learned how resilient I could be, as well as how relentless I would become. For all of these life lessons, I am thank-ful.

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Chapter 1

God Makes Prototypes, Not Stereotypes

Life Lesson No. 1

Trials were meant to make you, not break you.

Chapter 2

To Live Is Christ; To Die Is Gain

Life Lesson No. 2

"The true tragedy of life is not that we die, but what dies in