The Life And Times of No One In Particular

By Jamie White

Beware the muse with a chip on her shoulder.

Muses are often called uncooperative, grumpy, lazy beings who abandon a writer when they're needed most. Now, one of them has decided to tell their side of the story. Meet Clarissa, a muse who has spent centuries trying to inspire artists who sometimes are too stubborn to listen to her.

What is your muse trying to say to you? Clarissa might just be able to answer that...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jamie White
• Release date: May 21, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301933556

Jamie White

Do you love weird, paranormal stories? GREAT, because I’ve got plenty of them to tell. I can help you journey into the unknown and discover the hidden, yet awesome world out there that most people either don’t see, or don’t want to see. I’ve been exploring that world unofficially since the first Poltergeist movie, and I haven’t lost that love for the paranormal since— that’s why I write about it. That’s right, I’m a paranormal fiction writer. But what sets me apart from other paranormal fiction writers out there is... I actively explore the fascinating hidden world around us through meditation and other practices, like Reiki and chanting. I also work with crystals. These things are part of my world, both real and fictional, and I love sharing them. I hope that, much like I felt after reading Christopher Pike’s work, you’ll feel inspired to explore the weird side of life by getting lost in one of my novels. Who am I? My name’s Jamie White. Aside from being obsessed with all things paranormal and writing about that in my fiction novels I’m also a journalism geek. Before following my ultimate obsession into fiction writing I was an editor of multiple college publications, and interned at a major newspaper. You could say words have accompanied me for a long time. During leisure times, I would role play Buffy the Vampire Slayer and write song spoofs based on that and other things. The fiction bug was biting, but it really got me when I went to my first writing club meeting on a whim (the lesson? Listen to that inner voice). I had some much fun writing that first story, I kept going. And within a year, I had the insane idea to try and write a whole novel in a month. Yes, I was questioning my sanity. Luckily, the muse was with me and her story, “The Life and Times of No One in Particular,” was born. Since then, I have been published by Pagan Writers Press, had a short featured in an anthology, won a library essay contest, and have several more projects coming, including the re-release of the Stains books and my new Lightworker series. On the weird side, I go to crystal classes, chanting classes, give tarot readings, and became a level II Reiki practitioner in February 2015. I'm taking a wild journey, and I'd love for you to join me. Fiction and the unknown? Works for me.

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The Life and Times of No One In Particular

Jamie White

Copyright 2012

Smashwords Edition

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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and situations are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, events or locations is entirely coincidental.

Dedication/Acknowledgements

To my muse, for not giving up on me.

To my husband. Your support and encouragement means everything to me. I love you.

Thank you to Richard Weber and Marni Mann for your time and comments during the editing process.

Thanks to Lourdes Gutierrez for writing my bio.

Thank you to the online writing community for your supportive words, retweets and advice. I also want to say thank you to my fellow bloggers for helping me get the word out.

Finally, thank you to NaNoWriMo for getting me in touch with my muse.

Prologue

Joyful is the man the Muses favor. Sweet speech flows from his lips- Hesiod (paraphrased)

If I hear the words My muse needs a kick in the ass one more time, I swear I can't be held responsible for my actions. I've been doing this job for so many years now, I stopped counting. You'd think it would've gotten easier, but it hasn't. I kind of miss the days of the cavemen, and ancient Egypt. Those were some great times, and they knew how to treat their muses. Too bad so much of what I inspired then has been lost to the ravages of time and natural disasters. There are some things, however, that still can be seen and are enjoyed by millions of visitors every year.

I know what you're thinking right now. You don't sound like you're that ancient. That's just another part of my job—to adapt to the times and the changing slang. I think it's one of the hardest parts of the job... well, except for the insults, but we'll get back to that. Some of it is just odd; I don't think anyone was happier to see the 60s and 70s go than me. Groovy? Solid? I mean, really. What were they thinking? Not to mention all the writers I had to try and reach through a haze of different substances. Sometimes I think humans are their own worst enemy. Don’t get me started on the 90s, either... I do not want to talk to your hand. I guess you are probably wondering who I am and what I'm talking about. Let me introduce myself.

My name is Clarissa and I'm a muse. My name means brilliant. Fitting for a muse, don't you think? I try to be, anyway. I'm older than the earth itself and can take any form I wish, although I prefer to stay invisible, my touch a breeze in the air and my words a whisper in the minds of my charge (or charges if I’m feeling ambitious). Occasionally, though, I have had to take human form in order to better help them. I'm doing it right now as I write this. I don't really know who's going to see this, or what they'll think when they do. Most likely, it'll be considered the product of some anonymous writer's imagination. I just wanted to sit and write myself for a while in human form. I think it helps put me in touch with those I work with. Maybe someday a writer will see it and finally know for sure where they get their ideas. They get asked that question enough, and most of the ones I've worked with are always at a loss to explain it when asked at signings and interviews.

Yes, I have gone to my share of those. I can’t resist. It's always an exciting thing for me, no matter how many times I have had the chance to go to one. There is nothing quite like seeing your charge sitting at a table filled with the books you inspired. There's such a feeling of pride, like a parent watching a kid take their first steps. In a way, we are. We guide them toward fulfilling their destiny, and give them a swift kick when they need it. And, oh how some of my charges have needed it! This has been even truer over the past few decades as the world has gotten more complicated, and much busier. People are always in such a rush now; it’s hard to get them to just sit still for a moment so something can get done. Add in the constant calls from cell phones and what not, and the job gets even harder. Good thing I enjoy a challenge. Forgive me if I sound like I'm rambling a bit. Ironically, I'm not really sure where to start in trying to tell my story. So many artists, so many ages have gone by. I’ve seen man go from cave paintings and trying to figure out fire, to landing on the moon and working on interstellar travel. It’s almost overwhelming when you stop and think about it. Where should I begin? I guess I should start by explaining a little bit more about what I am and the form I have taken.

Legend says there were originally three of us, while some say there are nine. In truth, our numbers are much greater than that, although not nearly as many as there are people here on earth. Many of us work with more than one writer/musician/etc. at a time, gravitating to whoever catches our attention. We're spiritual beings who were once looked upon and worshipped as Gods. I remember many people back in ancient times bringing offerings to entice me to inspire them. I would have done it anyway, but why refuse a gift, right? Those were fun times—times when we were revered rather than cursed and complained about. Where was I? Oh, yes... I was explaining a bit about my kind. When a person with the ability to become a great artist is born, one of us will gravitate towards them and help them along their path. We have total free will, so we’ll sometimes take on a dozen or more at once, switching with other muses when the need arises. We are telepathic beings for the most part, sending our words directly into our charges minds, although sometimes we will speak out loud. Yes, that voice you thought you heard was one of us. We can speak pretty much any earthly language—except those written languages they have now for computers. I have no use for that stuff—and have the ability to pop in and out of any location at will. Unlike the legends, we don’t work strictly with poets, painters, or what have you. We do, however, have areas we’re stronger in or just prefer.

As far as appearance goes we are, again, spiritual beings and have no set form. We can look however we wish. Right now, I am taking on the appearance of a young girl. I have chosen long, brown hair with wild curls for a start. It’s currently pulled up into a bun with some flowers in it. I chose an average height and a thin build with pale skin that I dressed in a simple white dress. My face is heart-shaped with full lips and a small nose. I chose thin brows and green eyes to complete the look.

Even a muse needs something to inspire them once in a while. For me, nature is one of the most inspiring things there is and I can’t resist telling you about the spot I have chosen to write my story. Because I love nature so much, I have chosen to write this story outside. In Pennsylvania, to be exact. I chose a lake surrounded by trees. In the background, I can see mountains that just manage to avoid blocking the rising sun. What a sight it is. The sky is taking on a pink hue and I can hear the birds starting to chirp, refreshed from rest and ready for a day of scavenging for food. The gentle breeze feels wonderful on my skin, creating gentle ripples in the water. I took a few minutes before I started this to just take it all in, and listen to the sounds of the animals rustling the leaves and ducks splashing in the water. I’m currently watching an old man several yards away preparing a fishing rod to catch some dinner. I’ve seen him here before many times and he always leaves with several big fish in his basket. That’s another of my favorite things: people watching. People and their interactions with each other fascinate me. There are so many stories there. A big city subway is one of my favorite places for that. You see so many different types on those. Just watching people teaches you so much. I wish more people would take the time to do that; they could really start to understand and treat each other better. That’s another thing that’s changed so much over the years. People have lost a lot of patience with others and are so rude sometimes. I guess there is always a price for progress…

Sorry, I’ve started to ramble again. I really can’t help myself when I get started. It’s both a blessing and a curse. It’s good when one of my charges can crank out a great character description, I’ll tell you that much. It’s a very bad thing, though, when you are waiting for me to get to the point. I’ll try to watch that from now on. No promises.

Now that I’ve told you a little bit about what I have chosen to look like and what my people do, let me tell you a little about where we come from. Ancient legends speak of your Gods and other beings living on Mount Olympus. That’s not so. We live in a whole other dimension that human eyes can’t perceive in your more remote areas. We have a very simple world, with mostly Greek style buildings and clothing (they were the first to really appreciate and respect us, after all). Our houses are small and like everything else in our world, we have them because we want them, not because we really need them. We’re a very impulsive bunch. We decorate these homes with our favorite works of art, usually things we inspired. We mostly spend our days gathered outside playing music and telling stories. We also brag about our charges successes and occasionally vent when one is being too stubborn to listen. It keeps us from going insane and inspiring a lot of bad ideas in people. We also gossip about what’s going on in your world and any changes that have been happening. That allows the other muses to understand how your world works and how you talk, act, etc. so they will be able to interact convincingly if need be. There’s another purpose to this as well. Art has the power to teach people, to help us understand others and improve the world around us. By teaching them about your world, it also helps them understand what messages people most need to hear.

Chapter One:

Caveman communication

Everyone on this earth has a reason for being here, and it's no different for us other-worldly types. Muses are here to inspire humanity to greatness. We help you tell stories that entertain, inspire, and teach. We plant the seeds of curiosity that made some of the earliest humans explore their world, and the inspiration to solve problems as well. Take my first charge for example: a caveman. A society can't go anywhere without communication, and they were severely lacking in that department until we came along. We gave them the inspiration to develop ways to communicate with each other. That one simple move would open a door that has since blown wide open. I guess the debate is still open as to whether or not that was a good thing. Like everything else is this world, I think it was a little of both.

Back in those days, our charges didn't have their own proper names so I would make one up. I had to call him something to set him apart from my others, right? I chose to call my first charge Hector. Don't ask me why or where I even got that name. It just came. He was your typical caveman, lots of dark hair and a short, stocky build, a large forehead and wide eyes covered by large, bushy brows. Cavemen have a reputation for not being the brightest of the species, but I have to say he was one of my more receptive charges. They were the first, so they had a lot to learn, and he was more than up to the challenge. They spent most of their days hunting and trying to survive, an existence that isn't the most appealing. I still remember the first time I ever sent a message to him. The look on his face was priceless! I swear, I could see the light bulb flashing over his head and his eyes lit up. I've seen that look many times since, but none compare to his and that moment when he saw he could get his thoughts across to others and create. We helped them to develop their language of grunts and hand gestures. I know, it doesn't sound like much but you have to start somewhere, right? Once they started getting the hang of that, I helped Hector with his first cave painting. Now that was something to see! I put the idea in his head to mix the fat from the animal he'd just hunted with some ground stone to make the paint, and then told him how to use the animal's bones to actually do the paintings. I warmed him up to it by having him draw with a bone in the sand, but he still had this look of amazement when he stepped back to look at his first painting. He