Reclaiming Me

By Jamie White

After spending the majority of her 18th year being treated for a mental breakdown, and having confronted the person responsible for all the pain she’d been through over the past year, Courtney Thompson is now taking her first steps to getting her life back – she’s back in school, getting involved in the drama department again, and forming some friendships.

On top of the changes in her life, Courtney’s being called to make a decision about her fledgling relationship with Santiago Martinez, a man who works with the people who helped her through the past year. She’s falling fast, but she isn’t sure that’s a good thing. His work terrifies her, and she fears dealing with more heartbreak.

Meanwhile, the enemies who have been responsible for her pain are still out there. Enemies who still have big plans for her, and are closer than she realizes. Can she finally get her life back on track, or will they finish her off for good?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jamie White
• Release date: Mar 14, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370136681

Jamie White

Do you love weird, paranormal stories? GREAT, because I’ve got plenty of them to tell. I can help you journey into the unknown and discover the hidden, yet awesome world out there that most people either don’t see, or don’t want to see. I’ve been exploring that world unofficially since the first Poltergeist movie, and I haven’t lost that love for the paranormal since— that’s why I write about it. That’s right, I’m a paranormal fiction writer. But what sets me apart from other paranormal fiction writers out there is... I actively explore the fascinating hidden world around us through meditation and other practices, like Reiki and chanting. I also work with crystals. These things are part of my world, both real and fictional, and I love sharing them. I hope that, much like I felt after reading Christopher Pike’s work, you’ll feel inspired to explore the weird side of life by getting lost in one of my novels. Who am I? My name’s Jamie White. Aside from being obsessed with all things paranormal and writing about that in my fiction novels I’m also a journalism geek. Before following my ultimate obsession into fiction writing I was an editor of multiple college publications, and interned at a major newspaper. You could say words have accompanied me for a long time. During leisure times, I would role play Buffy the Vampire Slayer and write song spoofs based on that and other things. The fiction bug was biting, but it really got me when I went to my first writing club meeting on a whim (the lesson? Listen to that inner voice). I had some much fun writing that first story, I kept going. And within a year, I had the insane idea to try and write a whole novel in a month. Yes, I was questioning my sanity. Luckily, the muse was with me and her story, “The Life and Times of No One in Particular,” was born. Since then, I have been published by Pagan Writers Press, had a short featured in an anthology, won a library essay contest, and have several more projects coming, including the re-release of the Stains books and my new Lightworker series. On the weird side, I go to crystal classes, chanting classes, give tarot readings, and became a level II Reiki practitioner in February 2015. I'm taking a wild journey, and I'd love for you to join me. Fiction and the unknown? Works for me.

Book preview

Reclaiming Me

Lightworker Series, Book Four

By Jamie White

Copyright 2016/2017

Smashwords Edition

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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, electronic or mechanical, photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission by the author. Parts may be used for excerpts or reviews.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and situations are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, events or locations is entirely coincidental.

Dedication/Acknowledgements

To my muse, for not giving up on me.

To my husband. Your support and encouragement means everything to me. I love you.

Thank you to Elaine, my editor, and Michelle Cornwell-Jordan for your feedback on the story. I hope you both will forgive me for everything I’ve put poor Courtney through…

Thanks to RJ Keith for the incredible cover. You are amazing!

Thank you to the online writing community for all the support and love.

Thanks to all my amazing readers, my street team, and mailing list. I <3 you all, and can’t wait to share more books with you!

Thanks to Vicki, Crystal S., and for all you do to help us get our work into the hands of readers. Your events are so much fun. 

Finally, thank you to NaNoWriMo for getting me in touch with my muse.

Chapter One

A sense of déjà vu permeated Courtney’s being as she surveyed the room she’d grown up in. For the second time in a year, partially-filled boxes littered the room. Had it really only been a year since the last time she’d moved out?

Thinking about that time brought a frown, along with a stab of anxiety. No matter how much time she spent with Miss Wilson, it came back at odd moments, stealing her breath and chilling her body. Would this time be any different?

Step back and observe.

The words she’d heard so many times played through her mind again, bringing a sense of peace that allowed her breath to steady and her pulse to slow.

As much as she’d love to lose herself in the security her childhood home offered, she knew she was going to have to leave the comfortable familiarity at some point. Might as well be sooner rather than later.

She closed the box she’d been working on and placed it in the giant pile forming in the corner, then glanced at the clock. Courtney sighed, realizing that she was going to have to call it quits for the day. Miss Wilson, her therapist, was waiting for her. By now, Courtney knew better than to keep her waiting.

The woman was irritating at times, but Courtney had to admit she enjoyed their sessions. They were comforting in a way. They stripped her of her pride and kept her from lying to herself. How could she when Wilson would sense lies coming from a million miles away?

A knock on her bedroom door snapped Courtney from her thoughts. Come in.

Her mother walked into the room. How’s it going?

Okay. I’m almost done. She gestured to the pile of boxes that was almost taller than she was. I feel like I’m having déjà vu or something, getting ready to leave again.

She smiled, taking a seat on the edge of Courtney’s bed. I know what you mean. So what are you planning for today?

Courtney sat next to her mother, shrugging. Nothing major. I’ve got to meet with Miss Wilson a little later, and Santiago wanted to take me somewhere tonight.

She couldn’t be sure, but she thought her mother frowned at the comment. She raised an eyebrow. Is something wrong?

You’ve seen him a lot lately, hmm?

The undertone of the question wasn’t lost on Courtney. She shrugged, wondering what the problem was. I guess. Why?

No reason, she said, a forced smile on her face. I should probably let you get back to it.

Is something wrong? Because you look like you’re upset about it. Courtney frowned, wondering what the problem could be.

It’s nothing, really. Have fun. She stood and made her way toward the door.

Really, tell me. Courtney said with a trace of annoyance. She hated that people still seemed to walk on eggshells around her. A thought occurred to her, and she added, Don’t you like him?

That’s not it, her mother said. She turned back to face Courtney and sighed. He seems like a really nice person, but I’m a little concerned is all, considering how you met him. Are you sure getting too serious too quickly is a good idea?

Courtney almost laughed at that. It was better than getting angry, anyway, and she had to admit her mother had reasons to worry about her after everything that happened. Who says it’s serious?

Well, you have been with him almost every minute you haven’t been here with us, seeing Miss Wilson, or talking to Matthew on the phone. Sounds like it’s getting there to me.

I’m not in love with him, if that’s what you’re trying to say, Courtney insisted. Don’t get me wrong, I care about him. A lot. I’m just enjoying spending time with him and seeing what happens, that’s all. Maybe it’ll get serious, maybe it won’t. I just… I don’t know right now. All I know is, I like him and being around him makes me feel better. I feel normal again. Can you just trust that I know what I’m doing?

All right, she agreed. I guess there’s nothing I can do about it, anyway. I’m not going to stop worrying, though, so I hope you don’t expect that to ever happen.

She nodded, then gave her mother a hug. I know. Thanks, but I promise you don’t have to worry about me. I’m feeling much better than before.

Her mother held her close a moment, then stepped back. Good.

She left, and Courtney was once again alone in her room. She flopped back on her bed, relieved that the issue seemed to be resolved. She didn’t think she was up to discussing that more, especially since deep down, she realized that her assurances were mostly a lie.

Even though she’d tried to keep things as casual as she could, Courtney knew she was falling. Hard. She just tried not to think about it too much, because it scared her a little. Not to mention the twinges of guilt that came here and there when she’d find herself thinking about the future and Santiago would find his way into the picture.

Courtney closed her eyes, willing the feeling away. She had way too much else to deal with at the moment to allow herself to climb back into that hole.

Chapter Two

Even though the building hadn’t changed at all in the months since she’d stayed there, it felt like a whole other world to her now. Now, it represented routine; normalcy. At least, when she was sitting in Miss Wilson’s office.

She took a breath and knocked on the door. Part of her wasn’t sure she wanted to go through with this so soon after her mother’s interrogation.

Come in.

Courtney stepped into the office and forced a smile through her nerves. Hi, Miss Wilson.

Miss Wilson gestured to the chair across from her desk. Right on time, she said with a smile. Have a seat.

Once Courtney was settled, she moved to sit beside her. So, how have you been since we talked before?

Okay, Courtney replied. I guess I’m a little freaked about moving out in a few days, but other than that, I’ve been good.

Miss Wilson frowned, studying her closely. Do you think maybe you’re pushing yourself too fast? You don’t have to move out if you don’t feel ready for it, especially since that was a big trigger for you the last time.

I know. I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I really think it might be time.

She nodded. So long as you feel comfortable with this. I don’t want you to push yourself too far, too fast — in more ways than one.

Now you sound like my mother, Courtney joked. She was worrying about me too.

Do you think she has reason to?

Miss Wilson’s tone was neutral, but Courtney could sense some genuine concern under the surface. She’d dealt with enough people fussing over her to tell when it was happening again.

Not really. I mean, sort of… it comes with the whole mom thing, right?

It does, she confirmed. She studied Courtney a minute before asking, So what was she concerned about?

Crap.

Courtney suddenly wished she’d kept her mouth shut. Nothing, really. Just um… she was asking about me and Santiago.

She braced herself for Miss Wilson’s response to that, but to her surprise all she did was give Courtney an expectant look. She considered changing the subject, but the move would be futile.

She was worried about how much time I was spending with him; you know, that I’m getting too serious too fast.

Do you think you are?

No. Well, maybe. Courtney sighed. I lied to my mother. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I said I wasn’t in love with him or anything, but I realized as soon as I said that it wasn’t true.

Miss Wilson sat back in her chair, watching Courtney with that gaze Courtney had come to know as trouble. It meant she was getting ready to interrogate her, and Courtney wasn’t sure she wanted that right now.

I was worried that might happen. Like I said before, it’s not uncommon for a strong bond to develop in a situation like yours.

But you said that it was okay for us to spend time together.

I know I did. I also told you to tread carefully, because I don’t want to see the progress you made undone. Just tell me this much: how do you feel about what you said?

Courtney leaned forward, resting her head in her hands. I don’t know. I guess a little scared. Sort of guilty.

Do you think you should feel guilty?

No. I did before, but not now. I still feel that way sometimes, though. She glanced down at the floor, her face scrunched in thought. Do you think I’ll ever stop?

She touched Courtney’s shoulder. Of course, but you have to be patient with yourself. I think it’s a good step that you don’t believe you should feel that way anymore. Plus, you’re willing to make some big changes in your life. Just remember that you don’t have to go overboard.

Thanks, I will.

I guess that’s about it for today. Before you go, though, I’d like to ask you two things.

What?

First, I’d like you to keep in touch a little more, at least for the first month or two after you move out. I want you to have some extra support at first to make sure you’re adjusting okay. You wouldn’t have to come here more often if you don’t want to; a phone call here and there will be fine. If things keep going well, we can start scaling back your sessions. We might be able to stop them all together.

Really? She wasn’t sure she’d heard that right. She’d been seeing Miss