Bacchanalian Romp

By Larry Stewart

The story opens in 1962 a few miles south of San Francisco. Brian Conners, a freshman in college, majoring in cartoon animation and drama, has just broken up with his girlfriend of 3 years.
Brian meets Lee Thorndyke at an 8AM creative writing class. Lee invites Brian to a Mung City party at his parents house in the posh town of Hillsborough. Several hundred bacchanalian and maenad party mongers, wearing togas, sarongs, buskins and wreaths were dancing the Dipsomania Shuffle in the street. They all looked professional.
After looting vintage wines from a cabana bar, Brian recites some gibberish poetry and is admitted into Mung City, being granted the honorary title of Silenus, a companion to the god of wine, Dionysus.
From high up in a tree at a Tarzan and Jane party, wearing furry breeches, Brian spots Nicole.
Brian has his first date with the girl of his dreams, Nicole.
Watching Nicole and two of her girlfriends perform Beethovens Opus 56 in C major at a church in San Mateo, Brian falls madly in love with Nicole.
Nicole and Brian, and another couple encounter a horrifying storm on the way to Clearlake for some serious water skiing competition. The road is too dangerous to continue so they check into a motel. Lying in bed together becomes a delightful habit until they get busted by Nicoles mother at Brians cottage, two houses away from Nicoles house.
They are caught again, dancing in their underwear aboard Nicoles parents yacht by her father.
Nicole attends a Mung City bash for the first time. The maenads are dressed as flapper molls and the bacchanalians are dressed as mobsters. Lee and 3 of his good friends strap on electric guitars and perform the rock opera ballet Bacchanalian Romp.
Nicole and her bitch friend find a girl stashed inside a closet in Brians cottage.
With the help of his good friends, Brian manages to convince Nicole that it was sheer happenstance.
Nicole takes Brian to her sacred hideaway, a cave on one of the Farralon Islands.
Brian is shocked when he finds out that Lee has taken acid when he asks him to be one of his six best-men at his wedding.
The wedding preparations begin.
Brian is in for some incredible surprises on the day he marries Nicole at the Grace Cathedral on Nob Hill in San Francisco. Bacchanalian Romp is a smash hit on Broadway.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 11, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483621852

Larry Stewart

Larry Stewart is a San Francisco native and college educated with a masters degree in architecture. He was a professional builder for over 30 years until he retired 12 years ago. He lived in Italy for 3 years and traveled extensively throughout Europe, Africa and the Middle East. While living in Rome, he worked as an actor and is listed in Internet Movie Data Base for his role as John Robinson in the film “The Deserter.” He has traveled the world and been to China, Japan, Thailand and India. In 1985, he trekked over 300 miles to Mount Everest base-camp 2, elevation 22,500 feet in Nepal. 12 years ago, he went to Brazil to pursue his dream of becoming a writer. He wrote a dozen books during the 5 years he lived in Rio. “Puppy Love” is his fourth book. He has written poetry and an award winning short story.

Book preview

1

On a chilly fall morning in 1962, a few miles south of San Francisco, Brian Connors was sitting slumped at his desk in his bedroom with his chin resting on his knuckles. He was fidgeting with the button down collar of his light-blue, Ivy League shirt, and staring out at the fog through the window while Del Shannon was singing Hats Off to Larry on the radio. His head jerked up when his older sister, Wendy barged into his room. She was clutching a couple of books to her bosom and appeared concerned.

Seeing the rifle resting on his lap, Wendy dropped the books and shrieked, Good Lord, Brian, what on earth are you doing with that gun?

Staring at his sister with an angry expression, Brian sat upright, shut off the radio and shouted, What the hell’s wrong with you, sis. You can’t come bursting into my room without knocking first. Where the heck are your manners?

I’m sorry, she said. It was rude of me. I apologize for spooking you. But what are you doing with that rifle?

I was just getting ready to clean it. No need for you to freak out, sis. I’m not deranged.

I know that, she said. You just had me worried for a moment.

Thought I’d go to the rifle range and get in some target practice. It always helps to clear my head when I’m feeling down in the dumps. And my mind has been in a swirling daze the past few weeks.

Stooping down and picking up the books, Wendy said, Mom told me about your breaking up with Betty Lou and you’ve been gone almost two weeks without a trace. Why didn’t you at least call? Everyone’s been worried sick about you.

I had to take a break. I was half berserk.

I know how you must feel, she said, running her fingers through her shiny, long brown hair and walking over to him. How awful; you poor thing. Heartbreak is so hard to overcome at such a young age, and you’re only 17.

I’m almost 18, Brian whimpered.

It doesn’t matter, she said, setting the books on top of his desk and placing her hands consolingly on his shoulders. How are you holding up?

I’m hanging in, he said, leaning the rifle against the wall. It isn’t easy with a quashed ego and a ruptured heart. I have to admit, it came as a real shocker.

I’ll bet, considering you two were going steady for over 3 years, said Wendy. Oh, Brian, that must have been horrendous. I can’t imagine how I would have reacted, having a guy I love dump me for another woman. I think I would have gone into convulsions and died.

Brian picked up one of the books Wendy had placed on his desk and said, Restoring the Human Psyche.

It’s a wonderful book, she said. The other one is about renewing faith after a broken relationship. I thought they might help you get over that traitor. They actually pulled me through some tough times when I broke up with Todd. Do you want to tell me what happened?

Brian leaned back in the chair. Not really. I need to get that two-timer out of my head. I’d prefer some cajolery rather than talking about what she did.

It will do you good to talk about it.

Shrugging his shoulders, he said, On second thought maybe you’re right. Because I can sure use some help. Do you have the time?"

She smiled. Not a whole lot, but I’ve a little. Maybe I can help you deal with what Betty Lou did. I can’t believe she threw the ring you gave her in your face.

I’m glad I got it back, said Brian, shaking his head. It cost me a pretty penny. So you’re going to give me a lesson in mending a broken heart?

I’ll give it my best shot, she said. You’re lucky you two hadn’t become engaged. I know that you two were talking about it.

Yeah, we were. That would have definitely sent me over the edge. I’d be locked up in an insane asylum.

Wendy took his hand and said, Let’s go downstairs and I’ll make us some coffee and we can talk. What’s your schedule like this morning?

Wide open, I don’t have a class until this afternoon.

Downstairs in the kitchen, Wendy brewed a pot of coffee while Brian sat in the dinette perusing the pages of Restoring the Human Psyche and listening to Wendy explain how she overcame her breakup with Todd.

After that horrible fiasco, said Wendy after conversing with Brian for almost an hour, it might behoove you to get some counseling.

You’ve already been a big help, sis.

Refilling Brian’s cup with coffee, she asked, In what way?

The part you told me about how you were able to flush out the anguish and trauma by focusing on the fun times you shared with Todd, he said. I’m going to do that because Betty Lou and I had a whole a lot of good times.

You were listening. It makes me feel good that I was able to lend a helping hand. Oh, make sure to get rid of all those pictures of her and those souvenirs inside your bedroom. You don’t want anything around to remind you of her.

Good idea. I’m glad I have a big sister to talk to. I’ve learned a lot. I might survive thanks to you.

Anytime, she said. I enjoy chatting with you. But if it starts to drag you down, consider a little therapy. I know a priest.

Brian laughed and shook his head. Think I’ll pass on that pious, reverence stuff.

This priest is funny and very smart, said Wendy with a serious expression, and he has lots of experience dealing with this kind of stuff. He helped me get over my breaking up with Todd. He’s also the reason why I decided to become a school teacher. So I can teach young children how to survive in this cruel world. I’ll call him if you want.

Let me sleep on it, sis, he said, skimming the pages. I’ll let you know tomorrow. I have so much to do. School, homework and now I need to find a place to live. And…

Wendy cut him off. What! You’re moving out?

Yeah, it’s my coming of age. Mom told me that Will Hansen called last night. She said he’s moved into a two-bedroom apartment in Burlingame and is looking for a roommate. I’m going to swing by his pad later this afternoon and check it out. I have his address.

Will’s nice, I like him a lot. But what are you going to use for money? You don’t even have a job.

I got one yesterday. I’m going to be bagging groceries at Safeway. The pay sucks big-time but there’s no thinking involved.

Speaking of not thinking, dad told me you didn’t take the scholarship to Columbia. Mom and dad were devastated that you didn’t accept it. Why on earth did you turn it down?

I couldn’t handle living in New York. It’s too crowded, and there’d be way too much academia. College of San Mateo has great Art and Drama departments. And I love the campus, and the teachers don’t dole out a ton of homework. Have you been to the Coyote Point campus?

Lots of times, said Wendy excitedly, but I’ve never taken a class there. I love going to the beach and sitting on the boulders, reading, or playing my guitar or doing my homework. With all those eucalyptus trees, it’s like a forested sanctuary, and so peaceful.

I like the way it juts out into the bay, it’s like an island. There used to be an amusement park on the beach. And there’s a yacht harbor and an 18-hole golf course, and a rifle range.

Wendy’s face contorted, and she said, Oh that God forsaken haunt. It’s the reason why I stopped going there because I hated listening to the horrible racket coming from it when they finished building that place. The planes are bad enough. I don’t know why they put a rifle range there in the first place. The noise is terrible. It sounded like a constant firing squad the last time I went there. The echoing is disgusting.

Brian snickered. We venery hunters need a place to zero-in our weapons.

Making an ugly face and pointing at the ceiling, Wendy said, The moon would be a better place. I don’t see how anyone, including you, can kill a beautiful deer and eat it without feeling guilty.

Not everyone’s a vegetarian like you.

Vegetables nourish the brain, said Wendy. So, anyway, what else is new, aside from your whacky cartoons?

I’m thinking of trying out for a part in a school play.

That’s terrific. I think drama’s your calling, especially comedy. I’m glad you decided not to continue playing football. It’s such a vicious sport. The only thing worse is hunting. Well, I’ve got to get ready for work.

How are things at USF?

Wendy’s eyes perked up. Terrific, I made the volleyball team, and I’ve almost a 4.0 GPA.

Wow, that’s pretty darn good.

Is that red Corvette parked in front of our house yours?

Yeah, ain’t she a beauty.

It sure is, but where the heck did you get the money to pay for it?

I’ve been saving up for it since becoming a teenager, and the money I got from pawning the ring helped to pay for it. And I traded in my ’57 Chevy. Chicks love ragtops.

You sure you’ll be all right?

With what you told me, I’ll be okay.

Just remember, she’s the loser, not you. Call me at the bank if you want to talk some more.

Thanks sis.

After Brian’s last class let out that afternoon, he drove to Will Hanson’s apartment on El Camino Real in Burlingame. Chubby Checker was singing The Twist on the radio as he was parking in the driveway behind Will’s 4X4 truck. Making his way up the staircase, he checked the apartment number on a sheet of paper. Standing at the front door that was wide open, Brian saw Will slouched on the sofa. Tall and wiry, Will was dressed like a cowpoke, honing a Bowie knife, chewing on a wad of tobacco and wearing a beat-up cowboy hat. His legs were stretched out, with his western style boots resting next to a coonskin hat on the coffee table.

You look the same as the last time I saw you, said Brian as he walked inside. Nice pad.

Well, I’ll be doggone, said Will, setting the knife on the table and standing up, look who’s back in town.

Thought I’d drop by and check out your new digs.

Will greeted Brian with a hearty hug. Have a seat, partner. Take a load off and stay a spell.

Flopping onto a leather recliner, Brian said, Not bad. This is a spiffy pad.

Chicks flip-out when they see a crackling fire in that pit.

I’ll bet, that fireplace is huge, said Brian, noticing the six-pointer hanging on the wall above the mantle. He had seen Will bag the mule deer the previous year on a hunting trip in Montana. Hey, that trophy rack came out super swell.

Darn good taxidermist.

I’ll say. That buck looks alive.

Yep, said Will, walking into the kitchen and scratching his cleft chin, with a twenty-six inch spread, I had to have it mounted. Care for a cold brewski?

Sure, said Brian, looking at the gun rack on the wall in the dining room. That arsenal keeps getting bigger every time I see it.

Will came out of the kitchen, tossed Brian a can of Bud and grabbed a rifle from off the gun rack. Check out my new Weatherby 300 Magnum, he said, handing Brian the rifle. This bazooka will drop a rhino.

Man, this thing is nice, said Brian, rising up from the recliner. Let’s hit the rifle range this weekend and get in some target practice. I can’t wait to fire this baby.

Bring shoulder pads, said Will, popping open a can of Bud with a church key, that thing kicks back like a stallion. Hey, you wouldn’t believe the rumors that were buzzing around town after you disappeared without a word. Hell, gossip was running rampant that you’d flipped out and gone bananas.

Almost did, said Brian, focusing the cross-hairs of the 10 power scope on a balcony across the street.

Will looked out the window and said, Is that Corvette parked behind my truck yours?

Yeah, I got it a couple of days ago.

Nice set of wheels. Spoke to your mom last night. She told me what happened between you and Betty Lou. Said you came unglued and split to your folk’s cabin up in the Sierra Mountains. How are you holding up?

A whole lot better, said Brian, setting the rifle back on the gun rack and following Will over to the island counter. But I still can’t let go of her completely. No matter how hard I try, she still lingers in my head. Being up in the mountains helped ease the pain a bit.

I know it’s only been a couple weeks, said Will, opening the refrigerator and grabbing a chunk of cooked beef from off a Platter, but it’s time to push her out, Brian. You have to oust that dark angel from your melon. There are plenty of fine looking babes running around this neck of the woods. Will removed the cellophane and sliced off a couple of pieces with his Bowie knife. Have some venison, he said, handing a thin slab of beef to Brian.

Brian took a bite and said, Mmm, tasty. Let’s drop talking about that two-bit tramp. Good riddance to the bitch. My mom told me that you’re looking for a roomy.

Well, what do you think of the place? Will said, stuffing a handful of potato chips into his mouth.

I like it, said Brian. How about parking?

Place comes with a private garage. That Vet of yours will be protected. Come on, let me show you around.

The tour only took a few minutes before they were back in the kitchen standing at the island counter, shooting the breeze about the coming deer season.

Well, what do think, are you in? Will asked, gulping a mouthful of beer.

It’s the perfect bachelor pad. Fifty-fifty?

Will cracked up. What other way is there?

Smirking, Brian stuck out his hand. You’ve got yourself a deal, partner, he said, shaking Will’s hand. What do you think about me moving in tomorrow?

Cool, anytime.

I’ll pick up a couple six-packs, and we’ll celebrate.

No need, said Will, taking a key ring off a hook on the wall and handing it to Brian, I’ve got a case chilling in the icebox downstairs in the garage. What else is up besides polluted dames screwing up a guy’s mind?

"Just school and a lot of great art and drama classes. I’m trying out for the lead role of Willy Loman in Death of a Salesman."

Cool. You got a job?

Yeah, I’ll be packing groceries at Safeway on weekends. How about you, you still banging nails?

Yeah, I’m working for my uncle’s construction company. We’re building a couple of custom houses in Hillsborough. I’ll ask him if he can use an extra hand. He’s paying me big bucks. Baggers don’t make shit.

You’re right about that, but I don’t know anything about carpentry.

Slapping Brian’s back, Will said, Don’t worry, it’s easy. I’ll teach you and get you into the union. They have an apprenticeship school.

That would be cool. Working out in the sun sounds like fun. What’s up with veterinarian school?

Cal Davis ain’t cheap, said Will. I need to get me a hefty nest-egg saved up for next fall semester.

By the way, said Brian, how are you and Suzy getting along?

Great, said Will, she made the snow ski team at Berkeley.

That’s terrific. She’s buff and one heck of an athlete.

With all her jogging, working out at the gym and all the other stuff she’s into, she’s in tip-top shape.

Same as my sister. How are Ron and Annie?

Will wagged his head. Oh, Annie ditched Ron after he came down with a case of the clap.

Brian’s head jerked and he spouted, Syphilis?

Worse, he got a bad case of Gonorrhea.

You’re kidding me?

No fooling, poor guy’s pretty messed up. He’s on antibiotics and antidepressants.

Good grief, said Brian, that’s too bad. I’ll drop by his house on my way home and see if I can lift his spirits.

Good luck, I’ve tried the best I can. He’s really in bad shape. You got a bed and a dresser?

It’s covered, said Brian. My mom told me I can have all of my bedroom furniture.

Then you’re set, said Will. I’ve got the keys to my uncle’s flatbed. I’ll help move you in tomorrow.

Heck, I’ll move in today, if it’s okay?

Fine with me, it’s a black Friday, I’m just kicking back.

What’s a black Friday?

Half day. We get off work at noon.

I’ll go straight home and get everything ready, Brian said excitedly. It shouldn’t take me more than an hour or so. I’ll have everything out in the driveway.

Cool.

I’ll see Ron tomorrow.

Brian’s younger brothers, Todd and Chad, were playing basketball in the driveway when he pulled up in front of his house. They were almost ten years younger than Brian and still in grammar school.

Where’s mom? Brian asked Todd.

She’s grocery shopping, said Todd, dribbling the ball and lofting it into the hoop.

Nice shot, said Brian.

After his brother, Chad snatched the ball and made a basket, Brian walked into the garage, grabbed a duffle bag from off his dad’s work bench and went to his bedroom. When he finished packing his belongings, he ripped and tore anything remotely connected to Betty Lou and tossed the shreds into a cardboard box.

Later, outside in the backyard, he was staring at the five gallon drum that was filled with boxes of photos, scrapbooks, pages from his yearbooks, memorabilia and other nostalgia as he took out a wooden matchstick. Feeling sentimental, he picked up the gas can and sprinkled gasoline on his memories. He struck the match against the side of the carton, took a deep breath, and tossed it onto a picture of Betty Lou, wearing a slinky bathing suit. His mind was in a jumble as he watched the flames shoot up when he heard a car door slam shut inside the garage.

Dear Lord, his mother, Connie, yelled, as she came through the back door onto the patio. What on earth are you doing? Have you gone daft?

Relax, Mom. Everything’s okay. I’m just cleaning out some stuff from my room. I was going to take it to the dumps, but then I thought it would be easier to burn it.

You’re burning your yearbooks?

Just the stuff with Betty Lou’s pictures, I don’t want any reminders of her. Oh, I’m moving into Will’s apartment today.

Connie threw up her arms. You’re moving out today, Brian, you’re not even 18 yet.

I will be in a couple of weeks.

Don’t you think this is a bit drastic?

We talked about it yesterday.

I know, said Connie, but this is so sudden.

It’s time for a change, Mom, time to cut the umbilical cord.

But, why Brian, is it something I or your father did?

No, Mom, you and dad are the greatest. It’s just that I feel a need to start my own life, independence, freedom, and all that stuff. I love you, and I’ll miss everybody, but I’m not moving very far.

Brian followed his mother into the kitchen along with his brothers, who set the grocery bags on the table and ran back outside to play. Connie sat at the breakfast table with her head bowed and started weeping.

Mom, stop that. It’s something that would have happened eventually.

You’ll need money. Your father and I have money set aside for your college education.

Brian handed her a napkin. You don’t need to, Mom. I have money saved up from mowing lawns, my paper route and working at the hardware store. And I’m starting a part-time job at Safeway. And Will is going to help me get into the Carpenters Union. Carpenters make tons of dough.

I can’t for the life of me figure out why you didn’t take that scholarship to Columbia. It has your father and I completely baffled.

I hate New York. It’s a melting pot for racial prejudice. When I need money, I’ll ask. But Mom, like I said, I’m not going to be far away. Heck, Will’s apartment is just down the road. I could walk here.

Don’t forget you may have the furniture in your room.

Thanks, Mom, he said, looking into his mother’s adjoining sewing room. Seeing a lavender new dress on a mannequin, he walked inside and took a closer look. This is beautiful, Mom. You get better every day. I love it.

Thank you. Your father wants to talk to you.

About what?

He’s extremely upset that you didn’t take the scholarship to Columbia. He told me to tell you that he and his quintet will be playing this weekend at Bimbos 365 in the city. He wants you to drop by and talk to him. He’s very concerned about you.

Tell him I’ll drop by this Friday night. I’ve missed hearing him play. Dad really wails on the guitar.

Yes, he does. I prefer it when he plays the trumpet.

Both of you are lucky to have been gifted with so much talent. That dress will look great on you.

It’s not for me. I’m making it for your sister. It’s going to be her wedding dress, if and when Wendy gets married.

With the help of his brothers, Brian had just finished stacking his furniture on the driveway when Will drove up in a flatbed truck and parked. Ten minutes later, Brian’s meager possessions were loaded on the bed of the truck and Will was tying off the ropes while Brian was divvying his old toys to his brothers.

I called dibs on your train set, shouted Todd.

Consider it an early Christmas present, said Brian as he watched his sister pull her