Ok God, I Just Don't Get It

By K. C. Boone, MSFE

Being raised in a Christian environment, naturally, I accepted Christ and sought to know God through religion. After having given religion an honest try, I still found that I was no closer to knowing God. I read books, listened to others and exhausted every available means to know God on a more personal level.

After years of seeking to fill the void in my life, I turned to the source of it all – God. I used the techniques of others and did find many helpful avenues to God; but I found that to know God personally, I had to experience Him personally. He reveals Himself to us individually – there is not one path that works for everyone. God chooses the path that works best for each of us. I find that religion can be a good starting point, but more is needed if we are to know God personally.

God chose to reveal Himself to me mostly in writing. He has shared thoughts and ideas with me which were beyond my comprehension at the time. God gave me lessons which hopefully will help others learn as I have.

In a shocking whirlwind of typing after being told to write, God gave me five books within three months. The books are a compilation of lessons which were given using my personal experiences as the background. This is the first book of the five and I hope that you will find that God does reveal Himself to us in our daily lives. It is up to us to seek and find the messages of God in every experience of our lives.

By offering my experiences to you, I hope that you develop a level of awareness that brings God to you by demonstrating that whether we know it or not, God is with us always. Seeking isn’t necessary – we need only be aware of His presence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: K. C. Boone, MSFE
• Release date: Feb 8, 2013
• ISBN: 9781939634191

K. C. Boone, MSFE

The Scribe Described This scribe did not intend to be, yet was somehow chosen. Destiny played its part, shifting me to we, from I to all. I have always had a great curiosity about God and had studied much on the subject, but my primary focus was my career. Learning about God took on a new twist when God inspired me to write the words heard. “Hearing” is not how the words actually come, for it is more of a “knowing.” When the mind is quieted, the emptiness is filled with inspired knowledge. I write as and when instructed, either with pen or keyboard. The vehicle does not matter, but the content is to be kept sacred. Always, I understand that I must keep the sanctity of the gift given. Regardless of my own judgments about the content, I understood that the content is not about or for me. The content is to be presented as received, for the benefit of those seeking to have their questions answered. I cannot profess to be specially qualified, except that I am able to simply bring the words received to print. My credentials really do not offer credence to the work, except that they are verifiable and do demonstrate the normality of my life. I do hold degrees in accounting and education and have thirty years business experience.

Book preview

OK GOD, I JUST DON’T GET IT

Bridging the Gap Between the Biblical and the Spiritual

Book One

Copyright: 2003

By: K. C. Boone, MSFE

Publisher: The Scribed Light

ISBN: 978-1-939634-19-1

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved. No part of the book may be reproduced in any form, except for inclusion of brief quotations in a review, without permission in writing from the author or publisher.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 - But The Bible Says...

Chapter 2 - Why Can't You See Things My Way?

Chapter 3 - No Matter How Thinly You Slice It, There's Always Two Sides.

Chapter 4 - Who's In Charge Here, Anyway?

Chapter 5 - God, Is That You?

Chapter 6 - So Many Choices...

Chapter 7 - Ain't Love Grand?

Chapter 8 - So, What Are You Going To Do?

Chapter 9 - Out With The Old And In With The New.

Chapter 10 - Experience Is The Best Teacher.

Conclusion

Bibliography

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my spiritual guru without whom I would still be pondering the basics. Your contributions to my spiritual journey are invaluable and have put me on the fast track to seeing God in a whole new light. Your genuine desire to help others has not been wasted on me and you have made God smile just as you have made me laugh so many times. Your good humor and spiritual openness make you a special messenger of God in whom He is well pleased. Thanks for everything – the large and the small.

Acknowledgements

This gift of God is inspired by all of those who brought me to this point of my spiritual journey and to those who will follow. God has sent many of His angels to offer me, each in their own special way, a greater understanding of God. There are angels known and unknown to me, but their contributions are priceless. I dare say that I am the product of the whole and my spiritual journey would be incomplete without any one of them.

I am especially grateful, unbeknownst to him, to Neale Donald Walsh for the marvelous gifts of his CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD books. His books bring God to life on a very personal level.

Introduction

Twenty years is a long time and I have learned much since last I wrote. I put into practice all that I had learned about God and worked diligently to become the perfect Christian, as perfect as was possible. I always sought to do the right thing and to treat people as I would want to be treated. I was raised in a Christian environment by a God fearing family. I was taught to read the Bible and to adhere to its principles. I was taught that Jesus was our Lord and Savior. I joined the church at 19 and felt that I had obtained the pinnacle of my spiritual journey. I didn’t realize at the time that I had merely just begun my spiritual journey and that I had much to learn. Reading the BIBLE and believing in God is one thing; however, the actual experience of God is quite another. Learning about something in theory is often different from the actual practice. God had much to teach and I had much to learn.

Twenty years ago, when first I wrote, I was 19 years old and had just graduated from college with an Associate’s Degree in Accounting. I was about to transfer to a four year college to get my Bachelor’s Degree and eventually set out on my career path. I was anxious to complete my studies so that I could get out there and conquer the business world. Needless to say, conquer is a relative term and I would now better characterize my accomplishments as shear survival. When I was a child, I thought as a child. When I became an employee, I learned to see things in another light. I had foolishly believed that a hard-working conscientious employee could find nothing but success at every turn. It didn’t take me long to realize that just getting a job was infinitely more difficult than I had imagined. Keeping a job required all sorts of skills never taught in business school and most of them were politically inspired.

As my career started and grew, I always remembered my mother’s wisdom. She had taught me to always remember what it felt like to be at the bottom. This would make me a good supervisor and would always give me the wisdom to treat people with respect and dignity. I did always try to put this into practice and did willingly admit mistakes and take responsibility for my actions. Career wise – I have made a slow but steady rise up the corporate ladder and have lived a decent life earned by the diligence of my labor.

At 42, I have learned much, but have far more to learn. I used to envision a day when I would be wise and would chuckle at the younger folks for the foolishness of their actions as experience had taught me the same lessons previously. Experience has taught me that my parents knew more than I thought they did. To this day, I still call my mother for advice. It was only twenty years ago that I just knew she didn’t have a clue about life. Hmmm, perception changes with experience, as I’ve lived to learn.

My learning about God has been far more dramatic. I have learned that the more I learn, the more that I have to learn, etc. This seems to be a never ending quest, but I know that my quest for God is the quest which drives my every thought and action. I have always had a deep knowing that there is a connection to God that my innermost being seeks to understand and that the circumstances of my life are but the vehicle of my growth. There are times when I feel close to God and times when I just can’t seem to find Him. I am forever thrown between the comfort and distance of God.

Sometimes, I feel that God is holding me in His hands. Sometimes, I feel that God has dropped me and left. Is God treating me differently at one time or another? Am I just letting my thoughts and emotions keep me from Him? Am I being punished or am I being loved? What’s the deal here? I just don’t get it!

As I do believe that laughter is the best medicine, I have tried to provide a light-hearted look at the serious quest of my soul to know God. We should never take ourselves so seriously that we fail to enjoy the journey. As the saying goes, those who can laugh at themselves will never cease to be amused.

I feel as if I have climbed the first two levels of spirituality: finding God and knowing God. I have barely started the climb to reach the final level: experiencing God. I’ve read the books and have had my eyes opened to the possibilities. I am anxious to gain the experience needed to fulfill my soul’s purpose.

As God has called you, answer. As your soul craves fulfillment, have it. As your mind seeks knowledge, get it. As your heart feels love, give it!

Chapter 1 – But the Bible says…

Whew! Can I believe that it has been twenty years since last I wrote of my spiritual journey? The first twenty years led me to God and the next twenty years led me further toward God’s true divine self. Elemental Christianity fell by the wayside and a myriad of spiritual truths have since been realized. When once I believed that God was as is portrayed in the BIBLE, I now believe that God is far more personal and all encompassing.

I have searched over the years to reconcile the ideas portrayed in the BIBLE with the larger truths felt in my soul. How can God be vengeful, to be dreaded and feared? How can God give us free will, then punish us for using it? What does God really want for us and what is His purpose?

Going to church opened my eyes to the wonderment of spiritual outpouring and brought me great comfort, yet I always felt like an outsider. I never felt as if I belonged as I just couldn’t fully believe that God sat daily in judgment waiting for us to commit sins for which we were to be punished. Something just didn’t fit and I sought desperately to find the answers to the questions plaguing my soul.

I began by exploring different religions, feeling certain that someone knew the answers. Each religion still left me with questions, each discovery left more to be discovered. So, I chose the most direct route – I went directly to God.

Oh, I talked and talked and talked – I questioned and questioned and questioned. I never really got answers, but I always got a sense of knowing; the sense of knowing never really translated into direct answers which I needed to gain the understanding that I sought. I prayed and prayed – ask and it shall be given, knock and it shall be opened, if any seeks wisdom ask and it shall be given, etc. Years went by and life continued on its path.

Life events caused more questions to be raised – why do bad things happen to good people? I experienced the death of two supervisors and the suffering of two close friends with cancer. Oh, can you just imagine how mad and resentful I became? The years went surely by and I worked tirelessly in the pursuit of fulfilling my God given purpose. What was I to make of this life and the injustices that I witnessed?

The turmoil had brief interruptions and times filled with great joy. There were things that happened in my life which surely came directly from the hand of God. There are things happening every day which defy reason and exude a level of goodness which can only be evidence of God. The good and the bad – what is a spiritual person to make of all of this?

The lows are so very low and the highs are so very high. I looked to Saints for inspiration. Mother Teresa was a person who lived a very modest life and served God’s children of poverty in India. Her words were so eloquent and insightful – she would never have been tossed from high to low as I was. What did she know that I just couldn’t seem to grasp? Surely she knew some great secret that I just couldn’t know. I searched further.

I just love to watch TV, and I had seen so many famous people choosing religions as their source of inspiration: Richard Gere found the Dalai Lama; Madonna found Kaballah; Tom Cruise found Scientology; etc. So, I must just not be looking in the right place. I searched the internet, bookstores, talked to friends, etc. Every where there seemed to be different opinions and sources of inspiration. So, I started with the knowns.

I checked out the Dalai Lama – he always seemed really peaceful and relaxed. I was certain that he knew the deeper meaning of our spiritual journey and that he wasn’t tossed as if in a storm. Ok, so he had some issues when he was younger, but he learned to overcome and find inner peace. But what is the secret? How can I know God so that I am more like the spiritual masters who always seem so peaceful?

I was browsing a local bookstore one day when a book caught my eye. It was CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD by Neale Donald Walsch. The catchy title peaked my interest and I returned to leaf through it. As I had always believed that as a child of God I could speak to Him directly, this really intrigued me. I bought the book and began reading it immediately.

The most magical things began to happen almost immediately. I became swallowed up in the book’s contents and its message. Neale had felt so many of the same things that all of us do and went directly to God to find the answers. He simply had a much better avenue than most of us – He intuitively wrote God’s answers as they came directly from God.

Oh, how wonderful it is to hear God’s answers immediately. The answers given to Neal were the most insightful that I had ever read. The depth of explanation and details were absorbed with amazement. All those questions were being answered as if by magic. So, I bought the next book and the next and the next. I read feverishly trying to get an understanding of God and how He works.

The information was amazing. The examples were simply put so that even I could understand them, well some of them. God gives free will and does not punish. God says that there is no right or wrong. God experiences life through us as He cannot feel the experience Himself. God is us and we are God. Our lives are our own creations. We control everything by our choices.

Whoa!!!!! Now that flies in the face of everything that I have ever been taught. What’s the deal here? There’s no right or wrong, yet I see some things which seem awfully wrong to me. I know that I’ve been wronged many times judging by what I have been taught over the years. I have a little trouble understanding how I chose to be sick or broke. My comfort zone was being blurred before my very eyes. If I can’t blame God, then who is going to take the rap, because there is no way that I caused this suffering.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Now that is what I was taught to believe. If God didn’t want you to have something, He simply didn’t give it to you. If He wanted you to win the lottery, your win was assured. All things bad and good were predestined by God and that is just how things were. Suddenly, God is telling us that we are the makers of our own destinies? What’s up with that and how can that possibly be?

So, I spent hours, days, weeks, months, years trying to understand and absorb this new way of thinking. How can all who believe in the BIBLE believe this new stuff that is now being dispensed? How can we trust that Neale is not a fake or just made up this crap just to sell books? Where’s the proof?

The next obvious move is to put God to the test. It didn’t used to work when I prayed for something that I didn’t get which I blamed on God for His not wanting me to have it. Hmmm, what will be the first test? I thought about it and decided that I too would ask questions and write the answers just as Neal had done. Many years ago, one of my spiritual teachers taught me to ask God a question and let the BIBLE fall open to His answer. I also used the coin toss method, as the BIBLE says that God determines the toss of every coin. This had to be very accurate.

But asking the question and awaiting the answer – now