Those Purple Roadhouse Men

By Bertram Ellis

The Sheriff will never forget the night he made a routine call on the Purple Roadhouse, which still carried its reputation from the days it was a cathouse. It was unbelievable, like a prayer meeting had been instituted by a little old lady sat at the bar drinking one of Pete's margaritas. She said she had a flat tire and had stopped for help. Would have been better for her to go somewhere else, Anywhere else. The Sheriff wondered if she was one of the loose women, he'd chased out of the county, in disguise. Like the night he caught a gaggle of them selling quickies to the men. Boy were they pissed when he sent them on their way. He knew that Bart Johnson, Archie and one-eyed Willis would never rest until they got him for something.
These are a hint of the wild goings on in the Purple Roadhouse.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bertram Ellis
• Release date: Jan 23, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301062201

Bertram Ellis

Bertram Ellis had a successful career with the de Havilland aircraft company of Canada. He was a pilot until he lost his licence due to deteriorating vision. He has traveled the world, Europe, Africa, the Middle East the far East and South America.Among his adventures he has been blown up, shot at and imprisoned briefly in Saudi Arabia. Lost in the Sudanese desert south of Omdurman,fished the Mighty Zambezi. During all his adventures he has kept his belief in the essential goodness of ordinary people. He is a published author of short stories. A handbook on how to write your memoirs. Since retirement he has presented seminars on how to write your memoirs, at no charge, for many years. He lives in St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada with his artist wife Karen. He has three children and ten hgrandchildren

Book preview

Those Purple Roadhouse Men

by

Bertram Ellis.

Published by Bertram Ellis at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Bertram Ellis

Discover other titles by Bertram Ellis

Teleports Toronto.

Love Island.

The GINA Mirage

Chapter one.

Pete's bar don't look like nuthin' during the day. Some tourists point at the purple building, shake their heads and snigger. But if they wus here on a Saturday night they'd find some real livin'. The ‘ole juke box goin’ full tilt. Rattlin’ the Bud’s horse mirror. Looks like they’re gonna drop a barrel or two. Y' can't hear nuthin’ for the beat so ‘y soon learn to lip read. We’re drinking an’ smoking up a storm. Y' can always tell when things is going great. One-eyed Willis gets a glassy look in his good eye so’s y’ don’t know which one’s lookin’ at y’. Bud gets the Viet Nam twitch. Bertha's looks real purdy. She's a right lump o-happy woman with a heart o-gold, even though her ‘ole man, no-good Art Wilson, up an left her with a passel o-kids to bring up. It's like we’re in the 'chanted cottage, a real 'ole movie I saw on the late-late show. We talk 'bout stuff like an’ see things clear like. Even a dumb ass like Archie. There's a name for y'. He dropped outta school ‘bout the third grade an’ no one missed him. He wus a bagger in the market for #ten years then ole man Jacobs saw sumthin in him an’ made him head bagger party that night I can tell y'. And there ain't nuthin wrong with Archie either. He's slipped a few cans chile beans in ma bag in his time. Anyways, the evenin's goin' great. We wus havin' a great time, when sumthin happens. It’s quiet man the mirror stopped rattlin’. The spell's broke. I look at Bertha and see the sweat drops hanging on the bristles of her moustache. Everyone's sittin' open-mouthed like they's struck dumb.

Wha' happened?Ah swung around and looked at the jukebox. A lil’ ol’ lady, small like a kid, only y’ could see she wus real old, is standing there looking scared, holding the juke box plug.

Can someone help me? she says in a funny snooty voice.

Whadyuwantlady? Pete growls from behind the bar. He wus mad. Everyone's' stopped drinking to see what's goin' on. Like the time FPL cut the power and Bertha couldn't figure out the tabs. Jeez was he mad. Said he was gonna sue Power and Light for the loss.

My car has a flat tire, she wailed.

Ah knew right then she had a problem and felt a Christian act creeping up on me. I try to avoid 'me usually, but like ah said it wus a good evenin’.

Put the plug back, lady. Ah'll fix it.

Everyone stared at me. Ah could feel Willis's glass eye boring into me. Well ah will. This here lil' ole' lady needs help. You gonna gimme a hand, Willis?

Naw, he turned away.

Archie?

I gotta keep ma hands clean. Ma' job.

The beat started up agin. Everyone went back to drinkin’. Pete glared around the bar to make sure everyone had a bottle.

Ah led the lil’ ole’ lady to the bar and lifted her onto a stool. Y’all sit there and have a drink.

Y’ could tell she’d never bin in a place like our’n before. I can't hear you, her lips said.

That's okay, Ah shouted