So This is What it Feels Like

By Jacqueline Prydie

Stories of True Life Experience Stories Based on Survival, Endurance, and Inner Strength.

• Language: English
• Publisher: ReadOnTime BV
• Release date: Nov 1, 2012
• ISBN: 9781921578540

Book preview

Stories of True Life Experience Stories Based on Survival, Endurance, and Inner Strength

Compiled by

Jacqueline Prydie

Copyright © 2009 by Jacqueline Prydie

All artwork is copyright of the artist, Donna Hawkins.

Smashwords Edition

Edition: 2nd

ISBN: 978-1-921578-54-0 (pbk.)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The stories in this book are based upon real events, but names and some details have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.

The information, views, opinions and visuals expressed in this publication are solely those of the author(s) and do not reflect those of the publisher. The publisher disclaims any liabilities or responsibilities whatsoever for any damages, libel or liabilities arising directly or indirectly from the contents of this publication.

This book was printed in Australia.

Published by BookPal

www.bookpal.com.au

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Holly’s Story

Janie’s Story

Audrey’s Story

Gillian’s Story

Kate’s Story

Donna’s Story

Carol’s Story

Diana C.’s Story

Sharon’s Story

Jane’s Story

Gael’s Story

Stephanie’s Story

Alison’s Story

Brigitte’s Story

Lorraine’s Story

Fiona’s Story

Jodie’s Story

Hally’s Story

Valerie’s Story

Debbie C.’s Story

Linda’s Story

Sarah’s Story

Kerry’s Story

Jane K.’s Story

Tania’s Story

Dianne’s Story

Rebecca’s Story

Natalie’s Story

Sarah Lee’s Story

Lynnette’s Story

Pollyanna’s Story

Belinda’s Story

Deborah’s Story

Anonymous Stories

Lost in a Dark, Cold Maze

The Hardest Journey of My Life

Home Angels and Street Devils

From One Disaster Zone into Another

Choosing Freedom

Poem: To Love Again

Poem: Depression

Contributors

Your True Life Stories

To my dear friends

Over the years I have had the privilege of knowing many wonderful women. To name a few would not do justice to all the dear friends that I hold accountable for the fun, laughter, and adventure I’ve experienced in my life as a consequence of knowing them.

These stories were contributed by professional speakers, authors, business executives, life coaches, and many in the healing professions. They wish to pass on their real-life experience to inspire and motivate women from all walks of life and to realise that no matter what fate throws your way, you are in control of your own destiny. No one else but you.

These are stories of adversity and triumphs for the soul—s journey. Their message is clear. Achieve your dreams, overcome all obstacles, and treat each challenge with courage and faith. Always aim for the best you can be and never, ever give up!

May these stories help those of you that are travelling similar paths in life.

For years women have passed on their pearls of wisdom to one another. Stories of happiness, sorrow, and adventure, not forgetting the many trials and tribulations along the way. In my mother’s time, it was mostly done over the garden fence, chatting with kindly neighbours. An exchange of lighthearted banter, advice about absolutely everything and anything, and the necessary You’ll be all right, dear! This too will pass!

I guess the message here is that women have an uncanny knack of being able to just be there for one another even if they are total strangers at times. Within our roles as mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters, we predominantly focus on giving care, love, and emotional support. We give it freely and willingly, for it continues to be one of life’s precious gifts. Maybe, a gift of this nature can often be abused, taken for granted. But still, it is a quality that quietly flows effortlessly through all of us in times of need.

Majority of our contributors that graciously share their stories with you today do so out of kindness, courage, and the desire to inspire and motivate you to take a step in another direction as they so bravely did.

There are and always will be many issues and challenges for women in this world. I believe our focus should always be on self-development and self-esteem, to name but a few. Some would say that society lacks good female role models who unselfishly take steps to make this world a better place. Women that continue to illuminate the way toward an enriched life through humility, grace, and simple acts of kindness.

Thus, let us realise that in our pursuit to attain our highest potential, we touch and affect those that cross our path in a special way. Our light outshines any darkness that lurks within the psyche of troubled souls. We all have the ability, inner strength, and sense of morality to make this world a kinder, more peaceful, and safer place to live.

I had to sell my doll collection and pawn all my jewellery to have a Christmas for the children, but it was one of the best decisions I ever made!

My name is Holly. I am a successful entrepreneur and the managing director of three companies. I am a devoted wife and mother and live a chaotic, but wonderful life. I am blessed with good health and a strong will. I have lived a very full life in my thirty-something years and have endured things that might have sent most people over the edge. I had a wonderful childhood (which I credit as my foundation of strength which has been tested many times), but found my life wrought with drama since I was fifteen years old.

By age fifteen, I was having an affair with my first true love. A jet pilot in the navy who was nine years my senior. We had a three-year affair, which resulted in my being jilted at the altar, broke; and a month later, I found out I was pregnant. In debt, distraught, and all alone, I gave the baby up for adoption after much deliberation. It left a hole in my heart for many years to come and caused much of the poor emotional choices to follow.

I am on my third marriage (third time, a charm, and we have happily been together for nine years). My first marriage was purely a rebound situation and born from loneliness at losing my baby and the man who betrayed my trust. I married him after only knowing him for two months, and although he was a decent person, he was manic-depressive and had a terrible gambling problem. But the purpose for him in my life was to give me two beautiful sons who I credit with saving my life and making me want to be a better human being. He and I split up when the boys were babies, and gradually, he made the choice to disappear from our lives altogether.

I raised the boys as a single mother for many years—worked as an actress, a makeup artist, a vocalist, a DJ; sold Mary Kay and real estate; and ran a home day care. You name it, anything that allowed me to keep a roof over our heads. It took me ten years to get my master’s degree, but in time, I eventually got it. I must add that my eldest son has a mild case of cerebral palsy and chronic asthma. It is a medical challenge that we ( Joshua, myself, and his brother Jared) have faced together as a family all his life. Surgeries, medication, hospitalizations, specialists, the list goes on, and we did it alone. My family remained a support system from a long distance, and I would fly my mother out to California to help me for a few weeks every year so I could have a bit of a break.

Another chapter during this period of my life was when I fell in love with and married my second husband. I was deeply in love with him, but knew he had problems when I married him. I just thought I could be the one to fix them. In time, I realised he was a binge alcoholic; and overtime, he became abusive to me when he drank. He was decent to the boys and never harmed me in front of them, so I foolishly believed I was keeping it a secret. He was always sorry when he was sober. One day, an event occurred that let me know, in no uncertain terms, that my eldest son (who was only eight at the time) was affected. Although he himself had not been harmed, he knew I was; and to this day, it grieves me that I did not see it sooner. Within two weeks, I sent my husband packing to his friend’s house. Within two months, I sent him to his family in time for Christmas. It was a painful and difficult time for both of us and the last time I ever saw him. I had to sell my doll collection and pawn all my jewellery to have a Christmas for the children, but it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Did I mention I was financially supporting all of us by this point?

My life began to pick up from here. Almost a year after I made my ex leave, I was progressing at my company and had been promoted into senior executive management. I had been with my company for ten years and was doing well. I had a little bit of a savings, and life was good. I was happy and dating a really nice guy. Then one day, a detective showed up to my job with a warrant for my arrest. Despite the fact that we had been separated nearly a year and were in the process of a divorce, or the fact that all of our accounts were no longer joint, my ex-husband had been on welfare and did not declare the income for a part-time job he had while he was living with his friend.

The police tried unsuccessfully to contact him, but because he had moved to another state, they came after me as it was a cheaper alternative than to have him extradited. I was only in jail for about seven hours, but because we had not filed for divorce at the time he committed the fraud (I want to clarify that it was unintentional on his part. He was only working about five hours a week over his allowed time), I was as legally responsible for his debt as he was. I am the one who lived locally, so it was a case of “pay the fines or go to jail and lose everything.” I got out of it all for about $10,000 and two months’ community service. The charges were eventually dropped to a misdemeanour. My children and my company never knew about it. I had a close circle of friends and family (one of them being the man I eventually married) who helped me through this difficult time.

So you ask, when does it get better?

My third husband, Pete, is from Ireland. He is as opposite to me as he can be. We complement each other. We lived together in California for two and a half years. He is my best friend and a wonderful father to Josh and Jared. We moved to Ireland about six years ago. During this time, I used all my life skills and education to begin investing in real estate. Then I opened my first store, then another and another, etc. Our holding company is called Bannon Walters International. I am the managing director. We own a small chain of retail stores called the Haggle House, a cosmetics company called L.A. Heat Cosmetics (sold internationally), and an international photography/makeover studio and talent agency called So HOT Studios. We are in negotiations for a reality television program and have an international fan and client base. It is a hell of a lot of work, and I average five hours’ sleep a night. I relish every minute of it, and our businesses are going from strength to strength.

Joshua is in his first year at university. He is studying to be a zoologist. Jared is still in local college and is attaining his A levels in business studies and science. He wants to be a marine biologist. They are beautiful and amazing sons—happy, well-adjusted, and bright. About three years ago, I reunited with my son that I had to give up for adoption when I was a teenager. He has become an extended member of our family, and we are all very close despite the distance that separates us.

Obviously, there is a huge amount of drama to my story, but it would be more suited to a novel. Maybe one day I’ll write my life story. Do I have scars? You better believe it. But my journey has brought me to where I am today—a successful international business entrepreneur with the most amazing family. I have my health, I have a network of close friends, and I have a personality and perseverance unlike anyone you have probably met before. I accept responsibility for every choice I made as an adult because if I don’t, it would make me a victim. I pride myself in knowing that I came through all my challenges as a survivor. My main goal in life is to touch as many people in a positive manner as I can, to help other women to attain success without all the struggles I had, and to always give my best to the people who have loved and remained loyal to me.

By far the hardest thing of all was to see my mother, the person whom I loved and respected, crumble before my eyes.

Many of my friends today have, at one time or another, commented on how positive, confident, determined, and focused I can be. I’m not sure how much of this is hereditary, but I do know that my life experiences to date have given me the strength of character to become the person I am today—perhaps the most major influencing experience being the one below.

In many ways, it could be said that my childhood