Daddy Gear

By Jed Gibson

What's a receiving blanket used for? How many different types of strollers am I likely to get? Which one will I use the most? How do you know when to get a bottle ready? What in the world in Mylicon? Confused? I know I was. Once you live through it, it becomes second nature. I had the opportunity to write about it while it was fresh.

When we were pregnant with our second child my brother called and asked me for a list of the stuff he'd needed when they had their first baby. As I started writing, I began to break the "stuff" into categories based on usage. But what's a list without the perspective added by experience? So this simple list grew to something more.

As I compiled this information for my brother, I realized there were more than just “things” I needed to talk about. My wife and I had experiences my brothers was sure to have as well. I started adding information about situations, in addition to gear, and my list began to grow into a book. Being sensitive to the sequence of events to come, the section about preparation with information about doctors, the hospital, and giving birth appears before the one about stuff (a.k.a. Daddy Gear.)

But after all that planning, your journey really begins with the birth of your child. How do you find a pediatrician? A baby sitter? So I added the third part of the book. It includes stories and lessons learned. The most important of which, to me, is "Laughter, Hugs, and Kisses."
Daddy Gear passes on a wealth of information, from a new dad's point of view, that will help you prepare for your first baby.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jed Gibson
• Release date: May 2, 2012
• ISBN: 9780985495404

Jed Gibson

In addition to learning about life with children, Jed Gibson, author of Daddy Gear, has grown accustomed to the bedlam of parenthood with his extended family of four in-laws and seven nieces and nephews. Often referred to as Uncle Daddy, he puts to use all of his skills as a carpenter, architect, chief cook, and bottle washer. Raised in a quiet New York suburb, he now resides outside of Philadelphia with his wife, three kids, and a dog.

Book preview

Daddy Gear

(Everything I Wish I’d Known about Becoming a Dad)

Jed Gibson

Daddy Gear

by Jed Gibson

Copyright 2012 by Jed Gibson

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher.

ISBN 978-0-9854954-0-4

Digital edition by Go Published

www.gopublished.com

The views expressed in this book are that of the author based on his personal experience.

Visit us online at www.daddy-gear.com

(v1.2)

For my brother, may fatherhood bring you all the joys it has brought me.

"Why just do it, when you can overdo it?"

-Gibson Family motto

Table of Contents

Introduction

Section 1 – Preparation

Chapter One – The First Decisions

Doctor or Midwife

Is it a Boy or Girl?

Chapter Two – Required Reading

Chapter Three – Courses to Take

Birthing Classes

Newborn Care Classes

Infant CPR

Hospital Tour

Chapter Four – Going to, and at, the Hospital

Who’s Watching the Kids?

What to Pack

A Note about Nurses

In the Delivery Room

Delivery Time

Pain Medication (for Your Wife)

How You Fit in during Delivery

How Mom Will Feel after the Birth

What Happens to Baby Right after Delivery

The First Day with Your Newborn

Staying in the Hospital

Updating the Family

Chapter Five – Other Tidbits

Cord Blood Storage

Life at Home

Family Help

Visitors

Finding a Pediatrician

Birth Announcements

Section 2 – The Stuff

Chapter Six – Car Seats

The Latch System

Seating Requirements

Infant Seat

Toddler Seat

Booster Seat

Car Setup – Multiple Cars

Chapter Seven – Getting Around

Strollers

All-in-One Systems

Car Seat Stroller

Jogging Stroller

Umbrella Stroller

Double Stroller

Sit and Stand Stroller

Umbrella for the Stroller

Harness (i.e. Bjorn)

Sling

Baby Backpack

Diaper Bag

Chapter Eight – Stuff for Traveling

Travel Crib

Car Seat Entertainment

Car Seat Cover for the Plane

Portable Highchair

Packing for Travel

Chapter Nine – Furniture

Crib

Crib Mattress

Crib Tent (to Keep the Cat, Toys, and Other Odds and Ends Out)

Bumper and Skirt

Changing Table

Secondary Changing Stations

Changing Table Pads and Covers

Glider (It’s a Chair) with Gliding Footrest

Co-sleepers and Bassinets

Moses Basket

Highchair

Chapter Ten – Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Breastfeeding but Were Afraid to Ask

Breastfeeding v. Formula

Bottles and Bottle Starter Kits

Breast Pump

Transporting Breast Milk

Storing Breast Milk

When to Get the Bottle Ready

Thawing Breast Milk

Warming Refrigerated Breast Milk

Nothing Like a Good Burp

Boppy

Nursing Pads

Pacifiers

Chapter Eleven – Stuff for Eating

Cereal

Solid Food

Spoons

Bowls

Cups

Chapter Twelve – Clothing, Stuff to Wear

The Size Mystery

The Dressing Rule of Thumb

Body Suits – AKA Onesies

Sleepers

SIDS Sleepers

Receiving Blankets

Bibs – Zillions of Them

Socks

Hats

Chapter Thirteen – Stuff for Playing

Thick Blankets for Playing on the Floor

Activity Centers

Bouncy Seat

Baby Swing

Jumper

Swing – Outdoor (Indoor)

Entertainment Center

Play Mat and Gymini

Crib Mobile

Play Toys – A Few of My Favorite Things

But First the Clutter – Toy Bins

Toys for Tubby Time

Baby Einstein Movies

Crib Entertainer

Lots of Little Toys

Chain Links

Teething Beads

Keys

Star and Rings

Whack-a-Ball

Metal Xylophone

Drums

Chapter Fourteen – Books, Books, and More Books

The Staples

Others We Really Liked

Chapter Fifteen – Stuff for Keeping Clean

Cleaning the Umbilical Cord

Baby Oil and Cradle Cap

Burp Cloths

Bottom Cleaning

Cotton Wipes and Bottle Warmers

Pre-packaged Wipes

Wipe Warmer

Diaper Cream

The Size Mystery, Again

Diapers

Diaper Pail

Tubs and Tubby Time

Baby Washcloths

Baby Towels

Chapter Sixteen – Safety Gear – AKA Baby Proofing

Outlet Covers

Cabinet and Drawer Latches

Swinging Door Stops

Gates

Window Guards

Toilet Seat Locks

Nontoxic Cleaners

Chapter Seventeen – Medicine and First Aid

Thermometers

Snot Sucker

First Aid Kit

Fingernail Clippers

Medicine Syringe

Humidifier

Baby Monitors

Medications

The Short List

Section 3 – Lessons

Chapter Eighteen – Parenting Tips – Stuff about Baby

Take Those Pictures Early, Your Baby Will Get Acne

The Advice Everyone Gives

Parenting Is Guessing

Don’t Freak Out When They Fall Down

The Crying Game

Sleeping Through the Night and Trust

Learning Day and Night

Gas Relief via Swaddling

Music and White Noise

Talk to Your Baby

Music during Pregnancy

Singing

Flying and Boinging

Kids Learn by Watching

Teaching Love and Respect

Chapter Nineteen – Commentary on Life – Stuff about You

The Importance of Keeping in Shape

A Word about Minivans (The M Word)

Why You Should Get a Dog

Time for the Two of You, Keeping the Romance

Finding a Good Babysitter

Laughter, Hugs and Kisses

The Last Stuff

About the Author

Introduction

When I was learning to make crème brulée, the five-star chef/author of the cookbook I was using said his favorite way to caramelize the sugar was to use a salamander. That was excellent advice. The only problem was that I had no idea what a salamander was unless it was pulled out of a stream. What does this have to do with becoming a dad for the first time? Every trade has its tools. And the tools in those trades have names you may not understand. Becoming a parent is no different. Think glider, or Bjorn, or Puckie.

This book started out as a simple list for my brother explaining to him the different stuff he’d need to get ready for his first child. There’s plenty written about what to expect when you’re expecting: what she’s going through, what you’re going through, how to be a good parent, how to remain macho, or hip, or cool. What I couldn’t find, and the reason I wrote this list for my brother, was a book that explained all the stuff I’d need and gave me some insight into all the things no one ever tells you.

The book is, for the most part, about things, large and small: diapers and bottles and spoons and also backpacks and cribs and minivans. As I began compiling the list I realized that not only did things need an explanation or description, but there were also countless lessons we’d learned along the way that I wanted to pass along. There is so much to know about the physical stuff you need when you have a child. For every thing you need for your house, car, or baby there are multiple options, colors and qualities. Although many, if not most, salespeople know their product, I find myself wary of their opinions because they’re, well, salespeople and they want to sell me their stuff. So I felt it was my brotherly duty to pass along advice that was not biased toward a particular brand.

As I wrote I realized there were also so many lessons I wanted to pass along about how to get ready for their baby, like what to expect in the hospital, how to find a pediatrician, and why you should really get a dog, that my list slowly grew into something more. Add to that the many situations where my wife and I found ourselves scratching our heads and wondering, how come no one ever told us that? so I wanted to pass that along too.

Let me explain something about the family I grew up with. We’re technophiles, all of us. We research any product we buy to the point of being absurd. We save the owner’s manuals to all of it. We’re what you might call power users. We love toys, tools, all forms of intricate programmable electronic stuff. I rebuild computers, remodel houses, rebuild carburetors (20 years ago), and am a recovering hacker. We always read the instructions (thanks, Dad.) We know what every button on our gadgets does and we’re not afraid to tinker. For example, my dad took apart the state-of-the-art Lutron programmable lighting control system in his house and soldered in new parts so it works on a timer. Get the picture?

My wife, Sandy, on the other hand comes from a family of on-off people. That’s right, Sandy doesn’t care what all the buttons do. How do I turn it on and turn it off? That’s what’s important to her. She’s also a safety freak, which isn’t a bad thing. The two of us make an interesting dichotomy. In addition to researching what works and making sure it satisfies my needs, I also have to make sure it’s easy to use. All this means we have a very well-equipped, safe home. In this book I have tried to point out the areas where I went overboard on gadgetry, so you won’t make the same mistake.

So now I have my own family: two girls and a boy. We’ve gotten through having a baby three times. At press time they were nine, seven, and five and no longer babies. But when I sat down and started writing the first draft of this book our daughter Sidney was almost two and we were pregnant with our second child, our daughter Ellie. Our boy, Calvin, followed surprisingly soon after Ellie. If you’re wondering about the time lag between the first draft and publication, it’s called parenthood and I love every minute of it.

I’ve organized the book into three basic sections. The first is about getting prepared. What books to read, what books she’ll probably read, and my perspective on some of the courses we took. The second part is all about the stuff you’ll be getting. Believe me, there’s a lot of it. It really surprised me how many different types of things we ended up with. Lastly, there are some life lessons and commentary about what to expect as a first-time dad. In the end, you have to relax and live it, but hopefully what follows will talk you down from the ledge and be helpful.

A note about wives versus partners, surrogates, etc. Because I am in a traditional marriage my notes often refer to my wife, who is my partner and friend. But much of the advice in this book is equally relevant whether you are a single parent or in a same-sex relationship.

Section 1 – Preparation

Having a baby, the first time, is a mystery. At least it was to me. I remember asking a friend how he felt when he and his wife had their first baby. He told me that aside from being excited, he had a general apprehension about the unknown. That pretty much summed it up. So before you go out and start accumulating stuff you may want to take a few minutes to do some prep work. I’ve outlined some of the things you should know and do long before Baby arrives.

Chapter One – The First Decisions

Doctor or Midwife

You may think that the first decision you make is whether or not to have a baby. I disagree. Although we planned on starting a family, some people just have a surprise. Either way, before, or slightly after you get pregnant you have to decide what kind of medical care you want to get. Your main choices are a doctor or a midwife, but you may also want a home birth. This is totally a personal choice and one I would venture to say is 99% up to your wife. Sandy wanted a midwife because she felt the care was more personal and the midwife would spend more time in the delivery room laboring with us. To be clear, midwives are degreed professionals with intimate medical knowledge. My mother-in-law firmly believed they performed some type of home birth voodoo, but after coming to a few appointments and being present at one of the births she came around. The reason we shied away from using a doctor is that from what I’ve read, many doctors don’t spend that much time with you in the delivery room. They come in when just before delivery and catch the baby.

One other note about practices: many group practices with multiple doctors or midwives don’t let you pick who is actually going to deliver your baby. It all comes down to who’s on call when your wife goes into labor. You, therefore, have no say over who, specifically, will be delivering your baby. So it’s a good idea to meet all the people in the practice. You may be able to better predict who will be with you if you use a sole practitioner, but if your doctor or midwife is away on vacation, you’ll get whoever is covering for them. Which means you may meet the person delivering your baby for the first time at the hospital.

Is it a Boy or a Girl?

Finding out whether you’re having a boy or a girl is one of the joys of modern science. Knowing the gender can help you