This Is My Life....and learning how to live it.

By Andrea Phillips-Seidel

AUTHOR – Dr Andrea Phillips – Seidel

EDITOR – Lulu Larche

ILLUSTRATOR – Kirsty Reid

Growing up you might feel rather misunderstood or have difficulty in coping with a rapidly changing world – the world of you and your friends. This easy reading story is packed with wisdom ancient and modern, and will give you the edge in discovering who you really are and being comfortable with that. So, no matter your age when you are led to pick up this book, there will be some lesson somewhere that you may need to relearn or be reminded of! We do have all of the resources we need in order to live our lives fully and wholly and with soul, only sometimes we forget...and this is where the voice of intuition, introduced to the reader as Sid ( short for Sidney) comes back to remind us!
The story of Becky and the story of Ben and the slow transition into a Becky-Ben relationship is the outline of the book and the stepping stones in each of their stories are the building blocks needed to live life in an integrated and mindful way.
From managing competition to being authentic and true...The intrinsic tools are there for all to share and hold onto in learning how to live life!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Andrea Phillips-Seidel
• Release date: Mar 6, 2012
• ISBN: 9781466074552

Andrea Phillips-Seidel

Biography: Dr Andrea Phillips - SeidelBorn in South Africa, I have been a Clinical Psychologist and Mediator for the past 26 years, practicing in NYC, in Hamburg, Germany and ultimately in Paarl and in Cape Town, South Africa. I specialized in the field of women’s psychology and family therapy, training at the Ackerman Institute of Family therapy in NYC.I received my undergraduate degree from the University of Cape Town, my Honors from UNISA, my Masters in Psychology from New York University and my Doctorate from the University of Southern California for Professional Studies.I am an accredited Mediator and am affiliated with the FAMAC society of the Western Cape. I specialize in Divorce Mediations and Facilitations.I have always written alongside practicing and have had various articles published in Psychology Magazines and Journals. Some have been advice-giving and others have been full articles with references. I have been invited to address many teens in classroom settings, as well as lawyers and mediators. I have run successful workshops for women, couples and mediators – in the various parts of the world I have been privileged enough to practice in.My special interest is in Metaphysics and the application of the various principles thereof in every day life and living.I am a mother of two teenage daughters.

Book preview

THIS IS MY LIFE

and learning how to live it

Dr. Andrea Phillips-Seidel

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Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012 Dr. Andrea Phillips-Seidel

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

A Note from the Author

The ‘No Rules’ Competition

The Arrival of Sid

The Trick of Assumptions

I’m Ben

Nothing is Ever As It Seems at First

The Edge on Competition

The Power of Light

The World of Ken and Barbie

Owning the Reflection in the Mirror

The Trophy

The Workshop Weekend

Could It Be Cupid at Work?

Who Am I?

Minding Your Own Space

Positive Vibes!

Taming the Ego

A New Space between Boys and Girls

Living in the Moment

The Final Chapter

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

There are often so many moments in life that seem impossible to master alone. And yet, with time, we realise that we have mastered those very moments that caught us off-guard, unarmed and left us feeling so lonely and misunderstood. We somehow learned to manage the moment, to learn from the moment and to journey forward with renewed strength and understanding - of ourselves and of life itself.

It is with gratitude and humility that I acknowledge the secret power of the unknown guardian angels that carried me - and carry us - through these moments and that help us to strengthen our resolve to learn to live a more mindful life.

This profound state of grace that we can achieve by listening to the wisdom of our guides / inner voice / God / universal energy is that which motivated the writing of this book.

It is in the mastering of the everyday challenges from early in our teenage realities that we find the humility and grace needed to engage in relationships of meaning, with kindness and compassion for human frailties.

I thank the many patients whom I have been privileged to work with in various parts of the world. The silent moments of pain that they have graciously shared with me remain forever nestled in the treasure chest of my memories.

I thank my illustrator, Kirsty Reid, for sharing her magical talent and enhancing the story and I thank my co-writer and editor, Lu Larché; for without her encouragement, ability to translate my thoughts into a story and her microscopic eye, this book would not ‘be’!

This book is dedicated to my daughters, Cassandra and Helena. I give thanks to them for all that I have learned and continue to learn through them and with them.

Dr. Andrea Phillips-Seidel

THE NO RULES COMPETITION

I can’t believe I just did that.

I hold my face in my hands and feel my rosy cheeks burning holes into them like blazing suns suspended in space or white-hot coals on a fire that’s ready to braai. I move my hands to my ears mainly to block out the sound of my mother knocking on my bedroom door, asking me to come and talk to her but more so to stop the sound of me screaming at everything to STOP! in my head. But the knocks are still loud and my frustration is humming like the white noise computers make, or an overworked fridge buzzing the night away.

Go away! I yell.

The knocking stops.

I sit down on my bed and start to weep; long hard sobs that make my shoulders shake.

After a few minutes, my rage seems to have subsided from a tsunami to a dull ebb and flow and, in its place, guilt sails merrily to shore; sinking its anchor deep into my chest. AARGH! I don’t know how I could have done that! It’s not like me to get so angry... especially that angry. I didn’t mean to hurt my mom, to shout at her and to be so rude and let my temper flare out at my sister like a dragon breathing fire. And, worst of all, slamming my mother’s bedroom door and, with such a thud, sending my grandmother’s beautiful antique (vintage!) mirror crashing to the floor! I had played dress-up with that gilded mirror and adored it since I was a little girl... Mom had too. Besides the huge panga slice to my heart, I now have to face seven years’ bad luck! Great. Actually, it’s not great. I feel awful. My eyes are stinging and my heart feels sore and heavy - like its sinking right into the soles of my leopard-print pumps.

I kick off my shoes and lie back against my pillows to think about where it all went wrong... I guess I could blame it on being EXHAUSTED. School is so hectic these days - and it’s not just the work. There’s this weirdness going on with the girls in my class. Once upon a time we were all just friends having fun but this year things are different. It feels like we’re in this weird competition with one another - but there are no rules to follow and no real winner or loser. Plus, what I can’t get is,

WHO’S THE JUDGE?

Becky!

Mom’s calling me to apologise to her and my sister no doubt. I sigh, put on my shoes and muster the courage to go downstairs and face the music.

My real name is Rebecca but everyone calls me Becky. I have a sister who’s a little younger than me. She’s cool. Her name is Laura. There are pictures of her and I on the walls all the way down the staircase and you can see not only that we’re sisters but that we love each other a lot. We fight every now and then (which sisters don’t, right?) but there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her and nothing she wouldn’t do for me. And that’s what makes me feel bad that I’ve been such a you-know-what to her the last couple of weeks.

I walk into our lounge, filled with syrupy afternoon sunlight. It’s the brightest room in the house and, in it, Mom’s paintings hang on every wall. Like her, they are full of life and colour; especially golden yellow and blue.

My mom isn’t known for her art. She’s known more for being a little ‘different’ in the farming community in which we live. Some may call her a hippie (and that would probably make her happy) but she’s also a streetwise city slicker at heart. She likes to walk around barefoot at home and can spend hours in her garden talking to her plants or strolling in the massive stone labyrinth that sits at the edge of our garden. She runs workshops for adults who need a break or, as I’ve heard her say on the phone, need to connect with who they are again. She’s kind and warm and full of energy and love and looks after not only us but all the kids on our farm and the people who help us run it. She has a halo of golden curls that tumble down her shoulders and form a fuzzy frame around her face, making her blue eyes (which both Laura and I inherited) even more striking. She wears Converse high tops and flowing kaftans and, apart from cooking and gardening, writing and painting, running workshops and a guesthouse on the farm, she loves us very much and I know, just like we are her suns, she is the Earth that circles around us.

After a long talk in the lounge, followed by me apologising to my mom and Laura, Mom sends me