Seeds of Zen

By Michelle Looi

Depressed, fearful, lonely, sad, and loveless?
You do not need to feel this way any more.

This book has practical tips that will help you regain control, revitalize your spirits and rediscover love. Michelle has survived cancer and now, eleven years cancer free, shares her simple steps to living a healthy, joyful life, full of love and contentment.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michelle Looi
• Release date: Oct 23, 2011
• ISBN: 9789839382594

Michelle Looi

Michelle Looi is a respected educator in Malaysia. One of her deepest desires is to help individuals regain their own emotional balance and joy. In ”seeds of zen”, Michelle shares her simple steps on how to live with the mind-fullness of love: to give love, to share love and to be loved. Love for oneself is one of the most powerful forces which can overcome centuries of ingrained negative habits. Having been a single mother who raised three loving and successful children, and who now have their own wonderful kids, Michelle wrote “Great Moms! Great Kids”. This easy to read book is filled with practical and fun insights on how to be an effective, loving mother and how to imbue one’s children with powerful values which will sustain them in our ever changing world. Her joyful life is filled with visits to her children and grandchildren, workshops with groups who want to practice the tools mentioned in the books, and to participate in retreats where she reclaims her own inner peace. She also enjoys gardening, singing, painting, reading, being with friends, and being alone. Great Mums! Great kids! published by Pelanduk Publications in 1993 is available in MPH Bookstores. The e book version will be out in early 2012 seeds of zen is available in e book format and in print. For print version, please email [e-mail] or contact Mrs. Ziby at + 603 7954 2899

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SEEDS OF ZEN

Michelle Looi

Copyright © 2011 by Michelle Looi

This book is available in print from [e-mail]

Cover drawing by Sophia Goh

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

All rights reserved under the United States, Pan American and International Copyright Conventions. Attribution - No Derivative Works.

zen

my true nature

Cover Story

During one of our ‘pillow talk’ sessions before bedtime, Sophia (age 10) asked me, Popo, what is the title of the book you are writing?

nuggets of zen, I answered.

She continued, Popo, why don’t you call it seeds of zen?

Why? I inquired.

Because seeds grow.

I thought for a while and added, And they are full of potential. We sow seeds (virtues) in a conducive environment. The plants grow well and everyone enjoys the flowers (love), and the fragrance from the flowers (compassion) is experienced by all.

The next morning, Sophia handed me a drawing of a flower with seeds in the centre. Popo, this is a lotus flower. I was struck by its simplicity. At the same time, it was thought provoking.

When this experience was shared with my friends, they suggested, Take this as the book cover. I looked at the drawing - a simple flower growing from Popo’s garden - the garden of life. It is meant to be, I responded.

Thank you, my grandchild for your wisdom.

I love you, Sophia,

Popo

February 2010

Singapore

Dedication

The insights and wisdom in this book are dedicated to you,

my grandchildren,

Sophia, Sara, Shania, Oliver.

With great affection,

Popo

Contents

Foreword

Grace

Introduction - seeds of zen

1. Now is the Beginning

• Love

• Spirituality

• Responsibility

• Family

• Awareness

2. A Quilt for Integration

3. My Healing Qigong

4. Cultivate a Mind of Love

5. Max, My Youngest Teacher

6. Affirmation, Key to Happiness

7. A Gift I Cherish

8. My Dynamic Meditation Retreat

9. Ma’am, Please Remake Your Attitude

10. Buddha Leads Me Home to The Christ

11. On Living Well and Dying Well

12. Christmas Letter

13. My Christmas Story

14. A Christmas Story

Conclusion

About the Author

Foreword

Michelle and I go back a long way to a small town in Batu Gajah. We were hometown friends from primary one in school. She is one of my closest friends and among a handful of schoolmates with whom I have kept in touch to this day. It speaks of a very unique and special bond of friendship we have. Perhaps a karmic connection from past lifetimes. Michelle is a very special being, someone hard to get upset or angry with. She is a tactful person, non confrontational, calm and serene and in a sense a spiritual person. In all our conversations and encounters, I have always felt that Michelle is trying to find herself. She is always searching, searching….has she found what she is searching for? Maybe we can find the answers in her book. Her book with zen in the title is no surprise either and in fact is a picture perfect reflection of her nature.

After some years of separation due to my moving to KL for my higher education and the whole family relocating to Kuala Lumpur, I reconnected with Michelle in 2000 for an event at my alma mater. It was then, that I sadly learned from Michelle about her contracting lymphoma cancer. Michelle had expressed some fears but remained calm and accepting of the situation and never sought sympathy, only our prayers at this darkest point in her life. She is lucky as she has close family and friends, but most importantly, God at her side, spiritually and literally.

In 2002 when I was working on starting an ayurvedic centre in Ipoh and realising I had no one that I know and trust to help me run the centre, I had to ask if she would help keep an eye on Ayur Centre for me. But she was not to stress herself out, only as a way of passing time and as a healthy distraction. Little did I know that the first seed of zen would be planted at Ayur Centre and her interest in spirituality would grow and bloom from there.

Though she mentioned that I gave her the first book on Buddhism, a spiritual path I started to follow a few years ago, her grasp of the teachings of Buddhism far surpasses mine. It’s no surprise, as her mind is open to whatever good that is out there for her to receive. Whether it be The Noble Eightfold Path or Bhagavan Gita or The Divine Mercy Prayer, she finds some little gems of universal truths on values and goodness and imbibes into her very being.

When Michelle first told me about her book that would incorporate a chapter entitled Buddha leads me home to The Christ, I was perplexed and concerned as to how she would be able to write about two very different teachings with the right sensitivity, yet without downplaying one over the other. I need not have worried, as Michelle was only seeking to express the truth of what she has learned from the two great spiritual teachers, without fear or favour, as her truth. She learned that the true nature of every human being is love and goodness, whether it be grounded in the Buddhist or Christian teachings.

The strength of the person lies in the belief in oneself, and with faith in God, you have the innate power to heal yourself. As a cancer survivor, she has proven that and with this realisation, is reaching out to others to have this belief.

Puan Sri Siew Yong Gnanalingam

8 May 2011

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Grace

In God’s grace, I express my gratitude to:

My siblings,

For the knowledge that I am being cherished

My children,

For the opportunities to grow

My grandchildren,

For all the delight and fun I derive from my sweethearts

My friends,

The good Samaritans who are always with me to seek a new consciousness in this life’s journey, and to constantly cheer our rainbows

David,

For the paradise you allow me to live in, to put my thoughts in writing

Vee Lin and Su Ha,

For painstakingly editing my work

Arystle, Judy, Sheila, Sophia, K.S. Ong, and S.J. Ho,

For patiently transforming my handwriting into print

Frans De Ridder, Trina, Sherli, Evelyn and Marianne,

For your insights and generosity

Jesus and Mama Mary,

For the love that is me

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seeds of zen

Introduction:

It is 2007. I dedicate this year to joy and happiness. A year to enjoy my children more, to bond with my grandchildren and to renew old friendships.

To bring my heart to wherever I go, to love whomever I am with. In short, I choose to bring joy and cheer to everyone, everywhere. For home is where the heart is. This means to live in the precious present. The Now.

I was made more aware of the precious present with my third grandchild, Oliver’s homecoming. He was born in Ithaca, in America. I met this intelligent looking infant when he was fifty-four days old. The one month with him was tiring and trying. But I experienced many sacred moments during this short period of time.

I spent my mornings with him in the garden, under the gazebo, amidst greenery and flowering plants. He lay in his car seat, which was placed on a low marble table. I sat on a wooden bench opposite him. Besides the morning sun and the gentle breeze, the book, ‘the zen commandments’ by Dean Sluyter, was our daily companion.

I talked to him about the contents of the book. He responded with his eyes and his smile and the movements of his head as I went through the ‘lab-work’ or exercise, repeating the instructions on how to notice the layers of sound from Chapter One – Rest in Openness. Oliver seemed to be with me. His response and ‘understanding’ struck me as profound.

And I decided to call him Popo’s zen-boy.

During the twelve months, I took time off to visit some of my dear friends throughout the country. We talked on things and experiences which were close to our hearts. Each of us had some wisdom to impart. In our golden years, many of us realized that we have lived our lives well. Few had regrets. However, with the wisdom of hindsight, they realized they could have been more mindful and loving.

I was given the indulgence to glimpse into their true nature; and their wisdom. And I gained insights into their many dreams of past, present and future. As I listened, I felt each of us had a reason to be here; to find the meaning of life. And to live it well.

I took this opportunity to invite my friends to write their experiences, as seeds of zen. With this compilation of essays, we hope to help others reach their goals in life, taking the positive route, even though it may be the road less traveled.

The essence of their sharing is simple, yet profound. And hopefully, they will serve as a new beginning – for you and my zen-boy.

Michelle Looi

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Now…is the Beginning

October 23, 2000. I had my third shot of chemotherapy for my lymphoma cancer (NHL). I was bald. My immune system was low. I was very weak. At 3 p.m. I knelt down and cried to God to have mercy on me. Through my sobs, I pleaded again and again.

I was exhausted. I slept. During my slumber, Jesus visited me in my dream. He looked at the furniture in the lounge and teased me with a smile, "Michelle, you don’t love me enough? I responded, Is it because I do not have an altar for you, my Lord? His smile widened. He shook his head, No, the altar is in your heart."

Then he took me to Clearwater Sanctuary, a golf resort in Batu Gajah, Perak, to face a crowd of teenagers, who were attending a workshop. He placed his right hand on my shoulder and said, "From here, spread the message of love."

After my sixth and last shot of chemotherapy in December, I realised a few things that were very important to me during my treatment. And for everyone who is seriously ill. I had God, enough cash to see me through the treatment, loving family members who were constantly there for me and the support of my friends. Even though I instructed my friends not to visit me during that period because of my low immunity, I knew and I felt the love and support they generated through their prayers. I appreciate them a great deal. I bless them. I embrace all of them in the name of love.

And I have found peace and courage in this spiritual security, knowing that my family and the human family is there watching out for me – to love, to indulge and to enjoy my very presence because I have ‘died’. And now I am given another chance to live.

My oncologist was very happy that my cancer was in remission. His medication for me was, ‘stay stress-free, meditate and relax yourself.’ "What should be done next, besides his advice? I asked myself. And I was on my own for six months until Ee came home for a holiday. She took me in for two weeks to rebuild my health. Now, is the beginning," Ee took charge. She was trained both in allopathy and alternative medicine in England.

During that duration, she taught me to meditate and to stay in that meditative mood most of the day. As we washed and cut the veggies, we stayed mindful of what we were doing. During the quiet time of meditation, I had to stay with my breath – the deliberation of inhaling and exhaling. We practiced daily for thirty minutes until I could do my breathworks in the normal way. Like the in-and-out breath of a sleeping baby. It is known as the abdominal breathing. Through this exercise of staying still with my breath, clarity of mind was slowly enhanced. And the body became relaxed and restful. The cells became ‘peaceful’. In this stillness, I found my true self.

In the mornings, we went for walks in the neighbourhood, to observe the flowers and plants and to take delight in the colours that greeted us. Later in the morning, Ee taught me the movements, the breathworks, the ‘healing sounds’ of qigong, coupled with sensible eating. She applied shiatsu (a Japanese art of healing), and reflexology on my body. During that period of holistic treatment, I surrendered myself to Ee and to God. And it was in this total abandonment, I experienced peace and joy. After the two weeks, I felt stronger, physically. I felt grateful to Ee. And every morning, I stayed in grace and gratitude to thank my God.

I spent the next few years, traveling with my friends, with family members, cherishing every moment that I had with them. I breathed in God’s creation and soaked in his generosity. Through these sacred moments,

I have become a wiser person – to be in harmony with myself and with people. For life is really, really short, if the Divine is not generous with us.

Thus I have learnt to bury all the negatives and let the positives emerge. And I am still learning from friends and strangers. For I know any person can be my teacher if he or she teaches me just one thing. I learn and practice just one good act at a time – be it in thoughts, words or deeds.

Allow me to share with you the virtues I have learnt from others across the years. For these virtues help me live life in a more meaningful way. They are love, spirituality, responsibility and awareness.

And this is the beginning. For now is the only moment of