Finding My Way: An Assignment of Truth

By Susan E. J. Garand

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 3, 2009
• ISBN: 9781469121949

Susan E. J. Garand

A few days before Christmas in 2001, on a bed in a curtained section of an emergency room, I was above my body, looking down at its gray lifelessness. As my soul was rising, I looked up, up toward a beautiful brilliant light. There was an instant knowing that this light was God. It was euphoric! There were no bodies, no faces, and no words spoken; but I was begging Him to take me. There were no thoughts of anyone or anything else. I had no desire whatsoever to go back, just the certainty that what was above was far more than I had ever imagined. I was where I wanted to be and wanted to stay. However, God had other plans for me. He told me that He wasn’t finished with me yet. And as simple as it may seem and in an instant, I was back in my body. My surgeon had tapped on my stomach and pain, excruciating pain. God had sent me back! Back to a pain that was as unimaginable as the Glory of His presence. My appendix had ruptured some six to seven hours earlier, and I was being rushed into an operating room. After two and a half hours of surgery, it would be six weeks in the hospital and four months of almost-total bed rest at home before I would be getting back to normal. Only, my normal wouldn’t feel the same. I was no longer the same person. How could I be? Lest it all be in vain! A sequence of events had begun quickly upon my return home, and the aftermath was my first book, Finding My Way . . . Through Passion, Pain, and Prayer. It was a self-published version somewhat similar to the first few chapters of this book. After that book was completed, other changes began. I began receiving information for people during meditative prayer. Information pertaining to conversations I had had with them a few hours or the day before. I then started having visions and dreams of guidance and the ability to transfer healing energy. It was all a bit scary at first, but as confirmations came to me from the people concerned, it was clear to me that I had become God’s pen for His guidance for people who have not yet learned to hear and His wire, for lack of a better word, for Him to send His healing energy through. Are these the truths He is speaking of?

Book preview

Copyright © 2009 by Susan E. J. Garand.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The cover photo is of the Lismore Lighthouse. It was taken by Susan’s father, in May 2007, when Susan, her husband, and her parents, Leo and Delores Garand took the ferry ride from Oban to the Isle of Mull in Scotland.

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Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Families

Friendships

Love

Encouragement

From Believing to Not Believing

to Knowing

Synchronistic Events

An Assignment of Truth

This little book is for all of you, spiritual or not.

Whether you feel like you have lost your way

or whether you are finding, or have found, your way back.

Pick it up when you are up or down and

refer it to a friend in need.

As the stories and poems reflect experiences,

thoughts, trials, and tribulations

of family, friends, and strangers,

you are bound to relate to more than one.

May you find

Assurance that you and your experiences are not alone,

Passion to ease your pain,

Love to warm your heart,

Prayer to soothe your soul,

Faith for a better tomorrow,

Truth to set you free.

Preface

Like so many things in life that I had started doing but never finished, there was one excuse or another why I was not completing this book. As usual, the excuses were just that, excuses. It was the underlying reason for the excuses that was holding me back. That reason—FEAR. Fear of judgment and fear of failure.

The good thing was, and always is, that though fear may stop us from experiencing things in life, it does not stop life from happening. So life, and all its synchronicities, kept unfolding. Slowly at first but then at such a pace that fear began drowning inside of me instead of me in it. I started enjoying my life’s path and understanding how synchronicities played a role in getting me back on it when I would stray off.

As you read, think of this book as a jigsaw puzzle of life. Each chapter’s story and poems, though they may not seem pertinent on their own, are valuable pieces of the puzzle. Pieces that, when looked back on, were all part of finding my way.

Something that I hope you too will be able to do.

Acknowledgments

A multitude of thanks, go to the following:

— First and foremost, our Creator—Whom I refer to as God—for his unconditional love, guidance, and support.

— My parents and grandmothers who instilled in me the belief in God.

— My Aunt Laura, only three years my senior. She never pushed me aside or made me feel like I was a pain in her backside. Her love, understanding, and kindness owe us to continue our lifelong friendship.

— My brother George, who always made me feel safe, and sister-in-law Louise for the faith and knowledge in and of Jesus and the Bible they so unselfishly shared, for giving me my study Bible, and for telling me of The Ancient Paths that helped changed my life.

— My husband, Bruce Mowat, who helped bring out my better side. He’s helped me to recognize that love, friendship, sharing, giving, and forgiving must all be unconditional with no expectations of any of their returns. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

— My Uncle Larry and his family who shared their religious and Christian thoughts and beliefs with me, which started me on the quest for the truth (which I am convinced that, though we all know or believe a little of it, we will not know 100 percent until this life is over).

— My friend Anne Torrie who was never too shy to show her Christian beliefs. Praise God. Thank you, Jesus.

— My friend Helen Reay whose sensitivity, intuitiveness, and knowledge helped me open my mind and heart to so many possibilities.

— Aline Robert, a friend and mentor, who helped turn me into a more self-assured, giving, and positive woman. She said she saw a younger her in me. What a compliment.

— My friend Janice Walsh for her many hours in conversation and sharing of all types of spiritualism.

— Wendy Grunow, eighteen years my junior, who’s wise beyond her years. She helped keep me feeling young and, more importantly, on a positive path. She accepted my flaws, never judging, and boasted my charms and glories, never jealous.

— My aboriginal mom, Lucienne Robinson, who shared so much of her people’s ways and beliefs, who—despite all her challenges—remains positive, ambitious, and hilarious!

— My friend Tou Mosh who is to some so far out there but, to me, is an old soul open to all possibilities and abilities. A man so strong and secure with himself and God that he says, I don’t believe in God, I Know. His assuredness gives me confidence and belief in myself and my mission.

— Uncle Sherman who shared stories, parables, and scriptures from the Bible to help me understand more about Jesus.

— Dr. Barbara Heller, the surgeon who operated two and a half hours on me after my appendix ruptured. God has given her exceptional hands and a good heart, both of which were instrumental in saving my life. Never have I seen or heard of a doctor so devoted to her patients. I was in the hospital for over a month, and though I have little memory of the first ten days or so, I am told she was there every day. On the days I do remember, it was sometimes very late in the evening, after a long day of work, that she’d pop in just to say a quick hello and see for herself how I was doing. Her care, in many ways, made up for the lack of care from other medical professionals. I thank God for putting me in her hands.

— My cousins Janice and Gloria who have grown with me in so many ways and who have helped me keep my eyes, ears, and mind open.

— My Aunt Coreen for her openness, kindness, unconditional love, and sharing of her talents and Spiritual gifts. She’s taught me that:

— Love is universal and can conquer all. Just put it out there.

— That within us all is unleashed power.

— That inner peace is attainable when we open ourselves to it and release fear.

— My friend Mieke Blomstein, who emits love, for the unselfish sharing of her gifts and knowledge that brings so much peace and joy to life.

— My friend Frieda Livesey who shared her space and time with a stranger to help her grow in peace, love, and acceptance.

— My friends Helen, Cheryl, Rita, Suzanne, Colleen, Teresa, Kay, Kelly, Laura, Debbie, JoAnn, and Natasha for their unconditional love and acceptance of The way I am.

— My healing-circle friends Araceli, Jacqueline, Elaine, Christine, JoAnne, and Sandra who—right up until days before completing this book—provided guidance, clarity, and confirmation!

— And ALL of my other family and friends. For it is their sharing, loving, and supporting as well across the miles and through the years that, even though they may not have known it, made every day worth living, especially when I was at points of thinking it wasn’t.

Introduction

I guess the first thing that has to be said is that to lose the fear, I had to do a few things:

— Accept and be grateful for all that came to me—whether it was good, bad,