In-Sourced: Contemplations for Conscious and Miraculous Living

By Helen Connolly

As I finished reading this manuscript, I felt greatly uplifted by the high consciousness and spiritual energy embodied in it. Helens metaphors resonate on many levels. Metaphor is the language of the soul, and the soul is speaking here. As Helen states over and over again, this book was written not by her but through her. I feel honored and blessed to know Helen and to recommend this book to all her readers.
From the Foreword by Christina Thomas-Fraser, MA, www.innerlightinstitute.com

Are you satisfied with your life? Have you done everything you are supposed to do in the pursuit of success and happiness, yet find yourself feeling strangely empty and disillusioned? Would you like to experience more joy in your day to day existence? Would you like to feel unconditionally loved and supported?

The first step is to realize that the source of all the answers you seek is found within. In a world that outsources everything, constantly seeking gratification, stimulation, and validation from an external focus to fill the gap in life, please know this: You are a self-contained unit of the divine. Outside mentors and resources like this one may point the way and inspire, yet you are the destination you seek. To discover the truth of who you are and for lasting fulfillment in life In-Source your awareness through meditation and contemplation; dont put all your eggs in the outsourcing basket. Its fragile and by itself it never fulfills for long. Every single thing in form began its existence in formlessness. Meditation is the gateway to such an infinite resource and blissful experience of your true nature.

This book is my invitation to you to be your part, to be who you truly are, to drop your illusory stories, and play with me in original innocence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Dec 6, 2012
• ISBN: 9781452563565

Helen Connolly

Helen Connolly is a spiritual teacher, using yoga, meditation, uplifting story and conscious conversation to alert others to the truth of who they are. She is the founder of Ah Yogahh, the mother of two grown children and lives an everyday miraculous life with her husband in Markham, Ontario, Canada.

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Copyright © 2012 Helen Connolly

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-6355-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-6356-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012921775

Balboa Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Cover Photograph of Helen and Eugene, from ‘In-Sourcing and the Upward Facing Dog’ (page 78) taken by Robyn Connolly, 2009.

Balboa Press rev. date: 12/03/2012

CONTENTS

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

Thirty Seconds Of Friction

Beach Glass

Five Quotes That Get Me Through A Tough Day

A Perspective On Perspectives: Enlightening Lessons From A Washed-Up Fish

Contemplation On If

Consider The Apples

It’s All For Good —Robyn’s Version

It’s All For Good —Helen’s Version

The Groundhog And The Potato Vine

Yes, And … Life As An Improv Skit

The Scaredy Caterpillar

When I Forget To Focus On Gratitude

Watching Channel One

Weather Patterns

Flags And Original Innocence

Talking Trees

Ask And You Shall Receive…Just Be Wakeful How You Ask!

What Works, What Doesn’t And Do We Really Know Which Is Which?

Isabel And The Light

In Memoriam

Awareness That Space Is God

In-Sourcing And The Upward Facing Dog

People Of The World Untie

A Blissful Christmas

What Is God Worth To You?

A Life In Clothes: Living The Material Myth

Adapt, Adjust, Accommodate

Decisions, Decisions

Communion, Poetry Of The New

My Evening With Marilyn

I Am Here Now

Do You Know Where You’re Going?

The Fog And The Sun

I Am No-Body, I Am Soul

Spiders And Webs

Identity Loss And Reward

Just Another Day In Paradise

The Liberation Of Loss

Just Be

House Beautiful

Afterword

About The Author

Resources

Endnotes

To the divine beloved source in all

In memory of Eugene

(July 14, 1999–June 21, 2012)

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught.

—Oscar Wilde

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FOREWORD

Many people are trudging along a hot, rugged path in the desert toward the Promised Land. As deprivation and hardships increase, faith lags, and some even begin to doubt the existence of the heavenly destination.

A helicopter arrives and a few are lifted straightaway to an indescribably beautiful place, where they quickly forget the painful challenges left behind.

They cannot stay in this glorious state, however, and are taken back to the barren wilderness. But for these fortunate ones, everything has changed. They continue trekking with the group but with a quiet strength and contentment, for now they no longer just believe in the Promised Land; they know it exists. They have been there!

This is a description of people who have had a near-death experience. On returning to life, everything has changed for them. They have no fear of death, they have a deep sense of purpose, and they see with an expanded vision.

Helen Connolly has been to the Promised Land. She doesn’t believe it exists; she knows it exists. She has been there!

On February 29, 2008, at her Toronto-area home, Helen had a near-death experience. We may never know everything that was gestating in the interim, but exactly nine months later, on November 26, 2008, Helen was at the Oberoi Hotel in Mumbai, India, and survived the infamous terrorist attacks. Two beloved companions at her same dining table were shot and killed while Helen sustained only a minor gunshot wound. She shares those remarkable stories here, along with many others—all bearing the priceless gift of knowing clearly how to apply each as a lesson.

Helen and I first met in 1993 when I conducted a spiritual workshop in Ontario. As we became acquainted, I learned more about her. She was beautiful, young, and married, with two wonderful, healthy children and a lovely home. Some might say she had everything. But while Helen was thankful for the many blessings in her life, it was as though she had heard an inner call and was restless to find the unknown something else that summoned her.

Since then, in her quest for self-realization, she has endured many personal and spiritual transformations and diligently, faithfully prepared herself as she felt directed to do from time to time. She has conducted yoga and meditation classes for fifteen years, to the benefit of her many grateful students. Now Helen’s loving service expands yet again with the contribution of this marvelous book. She writes here in a very practical and down-to-earth way of her moment-to-moment journey through everyday life with the inestimable blessing of inner spiritual guidance. She is walking along the path with fellow travelers but has a deep peace and clarity that comes from having experienced the all-fulfilling bliss and love that are present beyond the veil of ordinary human experience.

As I finished reading this manuscript, I felt greatly uplifted by the high consciousness and spiritual energy embodied in it. Helen’s metaphors resonate on many levels. Metaphor is the language of the soul, and the soul is speaking here. I feel honored and blessed to know Helen and to recommend this book to all her readers. As Helen states over and over again, this book was written not by her but through her.

Namaste,

Christina Thomas-Fraser, MA

Encinitas, California

September 2012

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PREFACE

First you were fine. Then you were de-fined. Through yoga (union with the Divine) you are re-fined.

—Sri Swami Satchidanandaji Maharaj

Why am I here? What’s life for exactly? Was there a memo dispatched that I didn’t receive or perhaps a practical joke that I wasn’t in on? Such were the thoughts of my youth. I am the youngest of seven children, and my father always told me the midwife at the hospital placed me in his arms and said, Here’s someone to look after you in your old age. He was close to fifty when I was born, which was already considered pretty old back then. I grew up with that affirmation, but that never quite felt like my purpose.

The idea of heaven and hell fascinated and scared me, as did the doctrines of the Catholic Church in which I was raised, but they also didn’t make any logical sense to my innocent child’s mind. Why would God create so many different types of people if so many of them (us) were destined for eternal damnation? As a child, I never found joy in the destruction of beauty. Why would God? I also wondered how God could have made us in his own image if we were miserable sinners. It seemed like a pretty mean thing to do, and surely God wasn’t mean! And who made God anyway? I felt a love for God in my heart, but the teachings just didn’t add up in my head. Something was missing here.

As for life, if you played by the generally accepted rules and won all the prizes; the friends, the education, the career, the money, the guy or the girl, the house and kids, the power, the status, what then? Was that ‘it’? Was there a point I was missing in all of this? I never got satisfactory answers, but it didn’t seem to bother anybody else, so I learned to keep my mouth more or less shut, like a good little girl …but I kept reading and wondering.

Initiation in Transcendental Meditation at the age of eighteen set the stage for new possibilities and definite stress reduction for a few years until the practicalities of a full-time external life focus took over.

My parents died quite suddenly when I was in my early thirties followed shortly thereafter by an ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage. This inspired a whole new and more intense line of questioning on the purpose of life and death, fuelled by intense grief and depression, which thankfully led me to wonderful teachers and profound realizations that changed my outlook and thus my experience of life.

The line that separates the lack of awareness of my unconscious self from my present experience of life is like the chrysalis that surrounds the caterpillar. It provided a container for transformation to occur as I moved from a dense, fragmented life experience to a more subtle, whole, blissful and playful consciousness. Awareness is the magic wand that created such a transformation.

In this book, I am passing on that honed understanding or more wakeful perspective to you. When we really know better, in our cells and not just conceptually, we do better. When we do better, we are better, and so is the whole universe. After all, the universe is made up of each and every one of us, and our emissions are powerful, so we need to take responsibility for what we emit.

The first step is to realize that the source of all the answers you seek is found within. In a world that outsources everything, constantly seeking gratification, stimulation, and validation from an external focus to fill the gap in life, please know this: You are a self-contained unit of the divine. Outside mentors and resources like this one may point the way and inspire, yet you are the destination you seek. To discover the truth of who you are and for lasting fulfillment in life In-Source your awareness through meditation and contemplation; don’t put all your eggs in the outsourcing basket. It’s fragile and by itself it never fulfills for long. Every single thing in form began its existence in formlessness. Meditation is the gateway to such an infinite resource and blissful experience of your true nature.

This book is my invitation to you to be your part, to be who you truly are, to drop your illusory stories, and play with me in original innocence.

Life is simple. Minds make it complex.

—Master Charles Cannon

You will find that many of these contemplations have similar themes that are told in different ways to help us remember the universal wisdom and the truth of who we are. Instead of reading the book from start to finish in one sitting, take your time with each chapter. Let it settle into you like a stone dropped in a pond. Let it send ripples of recognition to all of your cells.

Trust and watch the response of body, mind, and spirit. You may experience doubt, skepticism, and resistance as the ego tries to retain its claim on you. That’s okay. Just trust and watch.

You may experience a sense of upliftment, delight and yes, recognition of truth