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    Mr. Punch's Book of Love Being the Humours of Courtship and Matrimony
    Mr. Punch's Book of Love Being the Humours of Courtship and Matrimony
    Mr. Punch's Book of Love Being the Humours of Courtship and Matrimony
    Ebook263 pages1 hour

    Mr. Punch's Book of Love Being the Humours of Courtship and Matrimony

    By Various Various, John Alexander Hammerton, others and John Leech

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    Read preview
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 26, 2013
    Mr. Punch's Book of Love Being the Humours of Courtship and Matrimony

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      Book preview

      Mr. Punch's Book of Love Being the Humours of Courtship and Matrimony - Various Various

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of Mr. Punch's Book of Love, by Various

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: Mr. Punch's Book of Love

             Being the Humours of Courtship and Matrimony

      Author: Various

      Editor: J. A. Hammerton

      Illustrator: John Leech and others

      Release Date: March 24, 2013 [EBook #42400]

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MR. PUNCH'S BOOK OF LOVE ***

      Produced by Neville Allen, Chris Curnow and the Online

      Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This

      file was produced from images generously made available

      by The Internet Archive)

      MR. PUNCH'S BOOK OF LOVE

      TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE.

      Some pages of this work have been moved from the original sequence to enable the contents to continue without interruption. The page numbering remains unaltered.

      PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR

      Edited by J. A. Hammerton

      Designed to provide in a series of volumes, each complete in itself, the cream of our national humour, contributed by the masters of comic draughtsmanship and the leading wits of the age to Punch, from its beginning in 1841 to the present day.

      Edwin (suddenly, after a long pause). Darling!

      Angelina. Yes, darling?

      Edwin. "Nothing, darling. Only darling, darling!"

          [Bilious Old Gentleman feels quite sick.

      MR. PUNCH'S

      BOOK OF LOVE

      BEING

      THE HUMOURS OF COURTSHIP

      AND MATRIMONY

      WITH 150 ILLUSTRATIONS

      BY

      JOHN LEECH,

      CHARLES KEENE,

      GEORGE DU MAURIER,

      SIR JOHN TENNIEL,

      PHIL MAY,

      E. T. REED,

      L. RAVEN-HILL,

      GORDON BROWNE,

      TOM BROWNE,

      J. BERNARD PARTRIDGE,

      C. E. BROCK,

      REGINALD CLEAVER,

      CHARLES PEARS,

      A. S. BOYD,

      LEWIS BAUMER,

      DAVID WILSON,

      G. L. STAMPA,

      AND OTHERS

      PUBLISHED BY ARRANGEMENT WITH

      THE PROPRIETORS OF PUNCH

      THE EDUCATIONAL BOOK CO. LTD.

      THE PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR

      Twenty-five volumes, crown 8vo, 192 pages fully illustrated

      LIFE IN LONDON

      COUNTRY LIFE

      IN THE HIGHLANDS

      SCOTTISH HUMOUR

      IRISH HUMOUR

      COCKNEY HUMOUR

      IN SOCIETY

      AFTER DINNER STORIES

      IN BOHEMIA

      AT THE PLAY

      MR. PUNCH AT HOME

      ON THE CONTINONG

      RAILWAY BOOK

      AT THE SEASIDE

      MR. PUNCH AFLOAT

      IN THE HUNTING FIELD

      MR. PUNCH ON TOUR WITH ROD AND GUN

      MR. PUNCH AWHEEL

      BOOK OF SPORTS

      GOLF STORIES

      IN WIG AND GOWN

      ON THE WARPATH

      BOOK OF LOVE

      WITH THE CHILDREN

      Take back the heart that you gave me.

      ABOUT MATRIMONIAL JOKES, AND ONE IN PARTICULAR

      f all Mr. Punch's jokes it might be fair to say that none has ever rivalled the popularity of Advice to persons about to marry,—Don't! unless it be that of the Scotsman who had been no more than a few hours in London, when bang went saxpence! Of the latter, more in its place; here, we are immediately concerned with Punch's advice. The most preposterous stories are current among the uninformed as to the origin of some of Mr. Punch's favourite jests. Only recently we heard a gentleman telling a group of people in a hotel smoking-room that Mark Twain got a hundred pounds from Punch for writing that famous line, I used your soap two years ago; since then I have used no other, familiar to every one by Mr. Harry Furniss's drawing of a disreputable tramp who is supposed to be writing the words quoted. As a matter of fact, the idea came to Mr. Furniss from an anonymous correspondent. Stories equally, if not more, absurd have been told as to the origin of Punch's advice, which, thanks to the researches of Mr. Spielmann, we now know to have been the happy inspiration of Henry Mayhew, one of the founders of Punch. It was sixty-one years ago that Mayhew wrote the line, and how many millions of times it must have been quoted since one dare not guess!

      It may be said to have struck the keynote of Mr. Punch's matrimonial policy, as an examination of his pages reveals him an incorrigible pessimist on the subject of marriage. He is very hard on the mother-in-law, but in all his life he has not made more than one or two jokes about the young wife's pastry, though he has made a good deal of fun about her general ignorance of domestic affairs. Nor has he spared the bachelor or the old maid, and the designing widow has been an especial butt for his shafts.

      It might be a good thing to pass a law prohibiting young and marriageable men from reading Punch, in order to save many of them from being discouraged and frightened out of the thought of marriage, and it would certainly be an incentive thereto—they would be tempted to become Benedicts if only that they might qualify for the removal of the prohibition!

      DRIVEN TO DESPERATION

      MR. PUNCH'S BOOK OF LOVE

      Advice to Persons who have Fallen in Love.—Fall out.

      Advice to Persons about to Marry.—Don't.

      Encouraging.—George (who has just engaged himself to the Girl of his heart) breaks the happy news to his friend Jack (who has been married some time).—Jack. Ah! well, my dear fellow, marriage is the best thing in the long run, and I can assure you that after a year or two a man gets used to it, and feels just as jolly as if he'd never married at all!

      A Definition.—Flirtation: a spoon with nothing in it.

      Domestic.—It was a homely but pungent observation, on the part of a man of much experience and observation, that marriage without love was like tripe without onions.

      Adage by a Young Lady.—Man proposes, but mamma disposes.

      By a Beastly Old Bachelor.—A married man's fate (in brief).—Hooked, booked, cooked.

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