Mr. Punch's Book of Love: Being the Humours of Courtship and Matrimony
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"My rushlight, when first kindled,
Twelve inches long wast thou;
And I behold thee dwindled
To one, my candle, now!
How brief thy span, contrasted
With rushlight's average life!
A happier dip had lasted
A week a happier wife.
Where is my husband got to?
Oh say, expiring light!
A man ought really not to
Stay out so every night."
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Mr. Punch's Book of Love - Good Press
Various
Mr. Punch's Book of Love: Being the Humours of Courtship and Matrimony
Published by Good Press, 2022
goodpress@okpublishing.info
EAN 4057664650535
Table of Contents
MR. PUNCH'S BOOK OF LOVE
MR. PUNCH'S BOOK OF LOVE
THE HUMOURS OF COURTSHIP AND MATRIMONY
THE PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR
ABOUT MATRIMONIAL JOKES, AND ONE IN PARTICULAR
DRIVEN TO DESPERATION
MR. PUNCH'S BOOK OF LOVE
DOMESTIC ECONOMY.
THE NEOGAMS—A WARNING
SONGS OF THE HEARTH-RUG
MARRIAGE MEMORIES
A SCIENTIFIC WOOER
TO ALL THE OTHER GIRLS
VALENTINE'S DAY—THEN AND NOW
LOVE IN LACONICS
THE IDEAL HUSBAND
TO A RICH YOUNG WIDOW.
THE OFF
SEASON
LOVE LETTERS OF A BUSINESS MAN.
REFLECTIONS ON A BROKEN ENGAGEMENT
PROFESSIONAL LOVE-LETTERS
I
II
WHAT TO WEAR ON YOUR WEDDING DAY.
WORDS TO A WIFE
THE DIVORCE SHOP
A DISTINCTION WITHOUT A DIFFERENCE
Act I. — Before the Event.
Act II. — After the Event.
THE SEVEN WONDERS OF A MARRIED MAN.
THE SEVEN WONDERS OF A MARRIED WOMAN.
WAITING
VIRGINIA STOCK'S VIEW OF IT.
SONG OF THE HIGHER SENTIMENTS
HOW TO MAKE LIFE EMINENTLY DISAGREEABLE
TO AN OLD FLAME—(Twenty Years after)
THE FIN DE SIÈCLE SUITOR.
A HUSBAND'S LAMENT
LOVE AND COURTSHIP
MY NEIGHBOUR
ADVICE TO GIRL GRADUATES
READING BETWEEN THE MARRIAGE LINES
WAIT FOR AGE.
EVOLUTION
AN ENGAGEMENT
DROP BY DROP
A YOUNG HUSBAND'S LAMENT
THE EDUCATION OF HUSBANDS
LINES TO MY LADY-LOVE
WHOM NOT TO MARRY
TRITE BUT TRUE
MR. PUNCH'S BOOK OF LOVE
Table of Contents
PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR
Edited by
J. A. Hammerton
Designed to provide in a series of volumes, each complete in itself, the cream of our national humour, contributed by the masters of comic draughtsmanship and the leading wits of the age to Punch,
from its beginning in 1841 to the present day.
Couple and gent. sitting on bench.
Edwin (suddenly, after a long pause). Darling!
Angelina. Yes, darling?
Edwin. "Nothing, darling. Only darling, darling!"
[Bilious Old Gentleman feels quite sick.
MR. PUNCH'S
BOOK OF LOVE
Table of Contents
BEING
THE HUMOURS OF COURTSHIP
AND MATRIMONY
Table of Contents
Holding handsWITH 150 ILLUSTRATIONS
BY
JOHN LEECH,
CHARLES KEENE,
GEORGE DU MAURIER,
SIR JOHN TENNIEL,
PHIL MAY,
E. T. REED,
L. RAVEN-HILL,
GORDON BROWNE,
TOM BROWNE,
J. BERNARD PARTRIDGE,
C. E. BROCK,
REGINALD CLEAVER,
CHARLES PEARS,
A. S. BOYD,
LEWIS BAUMER,
DAVID WILSON,
G. L. STAMPA,
AND OTHERS
PUBLISHED BY ARRANGEMENT WITH
THE PROPRIETORS OF PUNCH
THE EDUCATIONAL BOOK CO. LTD.
THE PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR
Table of Contents
Twenty-five volumes, crown 8vo, 192 pages fully illustrated
LIFE IN LONDON
COUNTRY LIFE
IN THE HIGHLANDS
SCOTTISH HUMOUR
IRISH HUMOUR
COCKNEY HUMOUR
IN SOCIETY
AFTER DINNER STORIES
IN BOHEMIA
AT THE PLAY
MR. PUNCH AT HOME
ON THE CONTINONG
RAILWAY BOOK
AT THE SEASIDE
MR. PUNCH AFLOAT
IN THE HUNTING FIELD
MR. PUNCH ON TOUR WITH ROD AND GUN
MR. PUNCH AWHEEL
BOOK OF SPORTS
GOLF STORIES
IN WIG AND GOWN
ON THE WARPATH
BOOK OF LOVE
WITH THE CHILDREN
Take back the heart that you gave me.Take back the heart that you gave me.
ABOUT MATRIMONIAL JOKES, AND ONE IN PARTICULAR
Table of Contents
OOf all Mr. Punch's jokes it might be fair to say that none has ever rivalled the popularity of Advice to persons about to marry,—Don't!
unless it be that of the Scotsman who had been no more than a few hours in London, when bang went saxpence!
Of the latter, more in its place; here, we are immediately concerned with Punch's advice
. The most preposterous stories are current among the uninformed as to the origin of some of Mr. Punch's favourite jests. Only recently we heard a gentleman telling a group of people in a hotel smoking-room that Mark Twain got a hundred pounds from Punch for writing that famous line, I used your soap two years ago; since then I have used no other,
familiar to every one by Mr. Harry Furniss's drawing of a disreputable tramp who is supposed to be writing the words quoted. As a matter of fact, the idea came to Mr. Furniss from an anonymous correspondent. Stories equally, if not more, absurd have been told as to the origin of Punch's advice,
which, thanks to the researches of Mr. Spielmann, we now know to have been the happy inspiration of Henry Mayhew, one of the founders of Punch. It was sixty-one years ago that Mayhew wrote the line, and how many millions of times it must have been quoted since one dare not guess!
It may be said to have struck the keynote of Mr. Punch's matrimonial policy, as an examination of his pages reveals him an incorrigible pessimist on the subject of marriage. He is very hard on the mother-in-law, but in all his life he has not made more than one or two jokes about the young wife's pastry, though he has made a good deal of fun about her general ignorance of domestic affairs. Nor has he spared the bachelor or the old maid, and the designing widow has been an especial butt for his shafts.
It might be a good thing to pass a